NEVER Return to the scene of the crime-

The banquet was a BLAST!

We worked hard but over 14,000.00 was given to our local 4-H group and Police Dept. -







Our day started by putting together and setting up all the merchandise- that's always controlled chaos-

And once the kids get done they are wilder than a band of wild Indians. and somehow someone always gets hurt- First it was Bertha Sue- she hurt her finger, BR took care of it- she went back off to play- THEN the next time it was Brett who came in with blood pouring from his thumb- I was busy doing treasurer stuff and didn't have a band aid, but someone had some electrical tape- and a friend of mine is a taxidermist so we were good to go-






We left there and had to come home to get dressed to go back- Bow was going to stay with my mother in law, but decided he wanted to go with us. Uggggggg NOT what I wanted to do- I am so busy I cant even say hello to half the people I know, and keep up with the older kids- much less keep an eye on a 2 year old who gets bored easily.

We had a great turnout and our 4-H kids helped us SOOO much~! Even Bow went this time- I think he was pretty good- honestly, I am not sure- I saw him running through a few times, dragging a trash can helping out, and one time a friend came by to tell me she had corralled him and redressed him, as he decided it was time to get all comfy and strip down.

Rayley impressed quite a few folks, I had people I didn't know coming up to me and saying "that MUST be your daughter with the pink hair!" when I said "uhhhhhhh... yeah.... " they would say things like "I KNEW it was, she has your same bubbly personality!" or "she is cute as can be! and she looks JUST like you!" " well she is you made over- she had me ROLLING with laughter" or my favorite "I knew she was, she is the sweetest thing, and pretty as a picture"

Now, granted, most of these folks were drunk, but its nice to know she can pull the wool over folks' eyes (and me for that matter) and they think we are nice and funny, and even cute!!

One time a friend that I hadn't seen since High School stopped me- She said "that must be your daughter with the pink hair"
"Yeah, " I said laughing with a scared chuckle
"well she is ADORABLE! I saw her coming out of the bathroom and said 'OMG you have GOT to belong to Michelle Byerly' and she said 'yes ma'am' And she asked if I knew you, and I told her 'yes, we were friends in school' and then she asked if I knew her dad and told her that yes, I knew him from school too. So she looked up at me and said "so you know we Byerly's are not nice people right?"

ROFLMAO! I swear, you NEVER know what my kids will say-

But I did get compliments on my kids all night- I was very proud- they were polite, and helpful, and worked hard.

Anyway, BR and I found a few things we were interested in, put our raffle tickets in the buckets, prayed for the best and went to work. AND LORD did we work. He had to rebox all the guns, and I was at the check in/checkout table.

Then as the night was winding down, they started drawing the raffle tickets- we got an adorable coat rack with the NRA stamped on it and the hooks are shotgun shells.

BR got a gun bag for the new .22 off the silent auction table, and then they did the 5 gun draw. I almost died when they called out our name second! we had won the Henry Golden Boy .22!! I have always wanted one of these- they are SOOOO pretty!! And I am laying claim to it- since the guys got that ugly Smith and Wesson 10-22 thing the other day.

THEN, some friends of ours won the last gun of the night- a Kimber pistol! I was pleased that 2 of the 250 raffle tickets I sold won guns- I thought that was a pretty good average.

Yesterday we did NOTHING- I barely even cleaned the house- I just did what was necessary to get by, we had gotten home well after midnight and didn't fall into bed until after 2am. We have to clean up the venue before we leave, and get all the trash gathered up and such, plus count all the money, tickets etc. So, its a long night. You should see my poor truck, I bet there are 12-14 60 gallon bags in it. PLUS about 45 broken down boxes. We had to put straps across the stuff to keep it in the back while I drove home!

Even Bow helped us with the trash- and he was still going strong at 1:30- I mean STRONG!

Of course, like every other week, it had to come to an end- one minute we were enjoying being lazy and doing nothing, and the next, it was 2am Monday morning and BR had to go to work! His Toyota is messed up again, (if anyone wants a good mechanic, holler at me- I will tell you which one is NOT), and so I am driving him to his job- its only 8 miles, so its not like its hard.

Anyway- This morning at 2am I got up and drive BR to work, I was worried about loosing a bag of trash, I had lost one somewhere on the way home we thought, but as I came back to the house from his job I didn't see any bags, so I decided I was safe.

THEN, BR texted me- said "there is a bag of trash at the river bridge on 63" well, that's the way we came home Saturday night- SO I jumped in my truck, still in my Chip and Dale fluffy sleep pants and shirt, hair all a mess, no makeup and head out to pick up trash on the side of the road, at 2:30 AM.

I got there, got turned around, got the bag of trash, tried my hardest to put it in the back and just couldn't make it fit. SO, I threw it in the backseat, jumped back in the truck, looked in my side mirrors, because the trash in the back of my truck is stacked WELL over the cab, I cant see out the back glass- SO, I looked out my side mirror, went to turn off my hazards and pull out and what is behind me? A county Mounty... yep- the police, with their lights a spinnin and the spotlight shinin....

well hell.

So- I jumped out- IN my blue and pink chip and dale, sleepwear, hoping like heck that I wasn't in the wrong place at the wrong time, and there hadn't been a person stealing trash from folks houses and then driving up and down the highway throwing it out and I was gonna get confused with them.

The passenger of the police car got out, mag light shining, like the spotlight, headlights and flashing red and blue lights were not enough to identify me-

So, I start trying to explain exactly WHY I am in the middle of the road road at 2:30AM in my Pjs'. Looking like something the cat dragged in and the dog didn't want.

I recognized the cop right away, and just hoped he did me- He did. and as I was telling my story, 'had all this trash from the banquet, waiting on the dump to open, BR passed by in his 18 wheeler and saw the trash, he texted to tell me I had dropped a bag, I came to get it, blah, blah, blah, he said "Michelle?" I said "YEP!:) " "Girl, I just cant believe someone would come back to pick it up! Especially at 2 in the morning! I would have told BR what he could do" He said they wouldnt have ever known who did it-

Honestly, I had every intention of picking up anything I dropped- I was just glad that it wasnt like last year, when it was boxes and Styrofoam that was flying everywhere- And I was glad BR had saw it and called me. But I figure that its JUST my luck that I see 2 cars in the 45 minutes I was on the highway, and ONE happens to be a COP! The three of us agree'd - you should NEVER return to the scene of the crime, thats how they catch ya!!

I loaded myself back up, and came home-

why must everything run on batteries?

My kids never get sick- oh I hear the 'my stomach hurts' all the time, for which I usually tell them the age old remedy for. And they do get migraines, which they COULD avoid if they tried, all of their triggers are obvious and usually avoidable. But they just dont get SICK- the other morning I am sitting here in my recliner, Bow is in his usual place, kinda behind my left shoulder because I am kinda twisted around playing on the computer. all of a sudden I hear "mom, me not feel good" and then it hit me between the shoulder blades, and proceeded to roll all the way down my back, and INTO my pants. I couldnt even move. Then it hit me, and I hated to laugh, I mean there is a miserable 3 year old beside me saying "i sorry oma, i sorry" but I couldnt help it, I had to laugh- IT went DOWN my pants. So, then you have to make the decision, do you run with your baby to the toilet, get a warm washrag and wipe him down, pamper him and love on him, while you see if there is anything else left in his tiny little tummy waiting to be expelled, OR do you get up and go strait to YOUR bathroom and strip, then jump in a hot shower? Well, being the loving and devoted mom I am- I said "ohhh baby, its okay- do you need to puke some more?" "do you feel better??" "Momma's not mad baby-" as I was walking quickly to the shower, shucking clothes as I went.


The day got better from there- Nothing as bad- but just a thousand little things that when added together make you want to sit in a dark room in the fetal posistion, rocking back and forth, while sobbing uncontrolably and cursing the day you were born.

BUT- even in the face of ALL the adversity, I havent had a cigarette!!

And if being puked on wasnt enough to send you to the nearest store to buy a carton of poison laden tabacco wrapped in paper dipped in arsnic, my darling mother in law was nice enough to buy my children a 'paper jamz' - NOW, if you dont know what this is, its a cardboard guitar, that takes batteries and you 'play' it. Its loaded with rock songs. So far I have only heard ONE I recognize, 'rockstar ' by Nickleback. The rest are some God Awful headbanging crap that I wouldnt have listened to if Bon Jovi or Axel Rose had been singing it. None of the 4 play the same songs, and for a peice of paper they are extreamly loud. VERY loud. I cant wait for one of the dogs to accidentally tear them up. Unfortunatly, they have managed to take better care of these cheap miagraine inducers then they do their own computers. THis is how China is going to take over the world- By all these toys they are sending over here at cheap prices, and gullible americans are buying up left and right while waiting on their prozac prescriptions from the pharmacy to get ready. Because no sane person could purposly allow these noisemaking, nerve grating toys into their home unless they were under a pharmasutical induced cloud of 'happy'. But you mark my words- "noisy annoying toys from China are the downfall of American Freedom - everyone with a child between 2 and 25 is admited to mental hospitals begging for shock therapy" will be the headline in a newspaper one day.

Our banquet for the Friends of the NRA is tomorrow night- I just am amazed at how quickly time flies by. The next two days are going to be quite busy- we set up tonight and then tomorrow we put together all the merchandise and at 5:30 we open the doors.

just normal boring days around here-

well, I have already let myself slide-

Its hard to come in here and write like I used to- I guess because everytime something strikes me as funny, I put it on facebook, so I fiqure there is no sense in writing it here too-

I will work on that- either stop posting on facebook, or start watching the kids closer to get double the tales to tell....

Today we went to a gunshow- I got to drive- BR does NOT like my driving. AT ALL. you know those cartoons where the wife is griping about the husbands driving? or all the sitcoms where she sits there and harps on him the entire time? thats my truck- But I am driving- He used to make me so nervous that I would be a basket case before we got the 20 miles into town. But in the last year I have gotten to where I handle it better. Used to I couldnt even relax- now I am able to sit back and drive.
Anyway- we all loaded up today and drove a few hours to a gunshow- Nothing like taking MY kids to a place that has nothing but guns and knives. they were IN HEAVEN! I bet we walked around that place 8 times. Even Bow was good- and everyone had to comment to Rayley about her pink hair- which she loves.

we didnt find what we were looking for there- So we went on to Academy and got the new gun. When we got home I dont even think the kids came in the house- they went strait to the shooting lane to try it out.

They are doing shooting sports again, and its shotgun season right now- The boys did real well- although, at one point, I was busy- I was in charge of handing out ammunition to all the kids, and they had started shooting- Next thing I hear is Brett saying "Mom, MOM, MICHELLE" -
"what?"
"Hoover just got one!"
well, for me thats not news- they do it here all the time- so, me, being the supportive and loving mom I am says " way to go boy, momma's proud" and gave him an exaggerated thumbs up. Everyone thought this was funny- to which Brett proceeded to tell me that was NOT right- and it was embarrassing when I did that-

Uhhhhh-- he was the one HOLLERING for me, to tell me that Hoover had got one. like it was the first time he ever held a shotgun.

I just laughed and told them that was what I was there for- to embarrass them, and that I was glad I was doing my job to the utmost of my ability.

BUT, that wasnt the best 'part'- While the big kids are shooting, the young kids play in the dirt- Well, its another young boy thats about Bow's age, and another girl thats Rayley's and a few in between.

The younger kids were between me, (and I was up with the shooters) and the other moms who were at the lines of cars- The moms started laughing, and calling my name- Come to find out- The treat that I always buy for the kids on the way to shooting sports is going to have to cease. -- See, I always get them a soda, its once every two weeks and I fiqure it wont hurt. WELL- it wouldnt if Bow had ANY modesty or home training. which after last Thursday I have come to understand he has neither of.

This child just gets the urge to pee, so he stands up, and lets loose- the kids have to cover up the wet spot and move down to fresher dirt.

UGGGGGGG I swear I teach my kids manners! And really try to work hard with them. I tell them, "dont pee off the front of the porch by the steps, go down to the edge, where it doesnt matter if you kill the grass"


THEN, at the end, I am giving directions for the kids for our next fundraiser, and the other little boys mom is standing back there, jumping up and down, calling my name again. I am standing on a trailer, trying to look everyone in the eye; working to get all the information out there, and express how important this even is- and she is laughin her head off and jumping up and down. HE WAS DOING IT AGAIN!!

OMG! SO, all these folks that dont know what he had been doing are paying attention to me, and he is 10 feet behind them, and I cant help it- I have to scream "BOWDRIE MARSHALL!" yep, everyone turned around and saw him....

I am very lucky that for the most part the folks out there are country folks too- so, at the very least they have all had a relative who has no couth and can deal with it just smiling at each other and saying "bless her heart" and letting it go.

BUT, we did have some new kids out there- I hope their parents were not traumatized too badly.

I have been busy with cakes lately- unfortunately, Business is fixing to taper off quit quickly- I am going to have to significantly raise prices. Its a shame, I would love for everyone to have a really cool cake for a cheap price, but I just cant keep doing them for free.

I have been smoke free for 41 days now- and I STILL love it. There is nothing more exhilarating than to know I can live my life without a cigarette. and today, on the way home, I was having breath holding contests with Brett! I dont know how good I did- because it started annoying BR while I was driving and he took away our stop watch. LOL If you know someone who needs to quit, please look into a personal vaporizer, or ecig. its amazing- just dont buy the crappy ones at a gas station- they aint worth it- for not much more you can get something MUCH better!

The farm is pretty normal, we have lots of hogs we need to butcher, but its way too hot- and I have a beautiful smokehouse that we still havent gotten to use.

Today marked the first day of squirrel season, so the boys will be changing up their schedule a little- now, its going to be:
up before dawn,
take the dogs hunting,
come home and feed
THEN start school.

This will last maybe a day- they HATE getting up early. And honestly, I'd rather have an hour or so to myself before they DO wake up.

Although they do love any opportunity to head to the woods- especially if there is hunting involved! They have been rabbit hunting the last week or so- its a night time thing, so they REALLY love that- no 8:30 bedtime- But they HATE the 6am wakeup call!! I keep telling them "it doesnt matter HOW late you go to bed, you STILL have to get up in the morning to wake up the chickens!"

Easter was great- All my inlaws came over and watched the kids hunt eggs, and we all visited on the porch for a while- and we finally got some rain last week- and hail!

Now, I am fixing to make BR's breakfast and lunch, set the computer to download some drivers for the printer and pray that makes it do wireless printing!

I have worked on making it be wireless for days now- And I can NOT get them to pair up. I am afraid that the only way I will get them paired up is to literly shove the computer INTO the printer and throw them BOTH out the window.

Remember me?

Okay, its been a year- I cant believe its been an entire year- All I can say is Facebook spoiled me.

I still tattle on my kids, I just do it in 140 char. or less now.

BUT, I will also do a quick recap for everyone- in the last year:

*Rayley has become a full time homeschool child
*Bow has grown so much- he can spell his name and CAT and DOG
*We got 3 new dogs, 2 grown squirrel dogs and one new puppy
*My cake buisiness has really blossomed- I did 74 cakes last year- I averaged making 4.63 on each cake- BUT, I enjoyed it. I have done 20 or so this year too.
*Brett got bit by a coral snake- it was a dry bite, but beings how its the most poisonous snake in these parts so he was very lucky.
*BR went to work on the worst day of the year, (it never snows or ices in Jasper) and fell 25 feet down a set of metal stairs and pulled his pinky finger off.
* I quit smoking- a few times, but this last time its stuck- (I am VERY proud of this) and instead I use a personal vapor -
*our farm has grown by about 10 pigs, a feinting goat and did we have the blind calf last time I blogged?
*The kids got to butcher their first hog with Rayley and Bow right in the middle
* We butchered our second set of broilers- This time Rayley got to help AND I have Video to prove it-
*Brett killed his first AND second deer- at the same time-
*I took my conceal Carry class- and passed! I shot that target UP!
*Brett learned how to pull a piglet during birth
*Hoover kept us laughing-
*Rayley has PINK hair on purpose
*I got a beautiful new porch
*I built a really cool smokehouse
*The boys got new bows for Christmas, Rayley got her pink .22 and Bow- who knows what that child got-
*My boys are as big as I am- (that might not be saying much- ) Rayley still hasnt grown into her feet and Bow is.... well Bow- They have changed alot in the last year- BUT are still the same kids- They have grown alot, but still work the ONLY nerve I have left- They are getting more mature every day, and yet I swear I will never get them grown enough to subject the world to them.
*The boys brought home 2 pups who destroyed my AC ducts during the hottest days of the summer-
*Bow decided to start using the toilet for its inteded use and not as a bathtub.
*I destroyed BR's tractor-
*I became addicted to games on facebook and cant stop






Honestly, I dont know what all has happened- its been a fast and fun year- one I wish I had blogged about, because already I am forgetting what happened-

We are hitting the preteen years on the boys, Rayley is becoming more of a drama queen, and Bow is.... well BOW- mean as a snake and smart as a whip and is always into something.

I will try my hardest to get back into the swing of things- start writing again- maybe relate a few of the stories from the last year before I forget them. And hope to entertain you again for years to come!

BUT, right now we have to get ready for Church- OH thats another thing- and very possibly the most important- all 3 of my older childern gave their life to the Lord and were saved this year- They are a true blessing and if we can all survivie their raising, I think they might make some good people-



Ya know, there have been a hundred times I came in here to blog, but I would say "well crap, I cant tell this story without telling the story about XX and YY" and dont have time for that- SO- I wouldnt do it. I wish I had- But now I am taking the plunge and WILL start back.


Thanks for always reading, Thanks for asking me when I was going to blog again, and most of all, thanks for taking the time to read about my crazy life-

what came first? the chicken or the dyed egg?

Hope you had a Great Easter!! We did.



I decided, like I do every year to let the kids dye eggs. I had no more than got the viniger in the second cup with the color tabs and hear the boys laughing. I turn around and there is Bow, with red lips.. spitting... He had decided to 'taste' it. THEN before I could put water in the first 3 cups, Bow spilled the first one. Green. ALL over everything.

But we got the 36 eggs done. and Bow only spilled 3 cups of color.








I have been trying to get back to church for a while now, Sundays are just such a hard day on us if thats the day BR takes off. We just have so much to do. But with him taking off during the week now we are able to squeeze a few hours out on Sunday and this one happened to be Easter. Come to find out our church was having a dinner, egg hunt and fun day. The congregation was asked to bring candy filled eggs and desserts or chips, the church was providing hotdogs or hamburgers. So, I found out Saturday afternoon about it. And I cant go somewhere and bring all my kids and not contribute, so I decided to make a cake. I didnt have any of the stuff I use normally, so I had to impervise. I knew what I wanted, and managed to get a presentable facsimile.

Two things that to me scream Jesus and my love for him are the old rugged cross and dogwoods. So I used both in my cake.



The bottom tier is white cake with buttercream frosting, the top teir or cross is white cake with handpainted fondant. As are the dogwood flowers.

Sunday morning the heathens got their baskets.




When we got there I took the cake to the ladies who were getting the cooking started. They loved the cake and asked if they could auction it off. I didnt know there was an auction, so I said it was given to the church, to do as they wished. They decided to auction it.

Church was wonderful, so many souls were given to the Lord, and the love was beautiful. The food was good enough to eat, and the kids had so many eggs to hunt that they couldnt carry their baskets! The auction was going great, it was for relay for life, and there was some good money being raised. Then it came time for my cake. The lady who was labeling everything didnt know who I was so the auctioneer asked who made it.
Well, my eldest, who never misses an oppertunity to speak; spoke.

"MY MOM"
"who?" said the auctioneer
"Michelle Byerly" said big mouth
"well Michelle Byerly, can you tell us whats in it?"
so I started talking, from the back, where I was hiding. But he couldnt hear me, so Brett took over.
I guess the auctioneer was impressed with him, so he told him to auction it off. Brett was so proud!

The man who bought it in turn gave it back to the kids. That was mighty nice of him. Un-needed, BUT nice. LOL

Once we left there I called my sisterin law and mother in law and told them we were on our way. So they got the Easter Bunny to get busy. When we drove up they and my brother in law were there. The kids were almost too tired to hunt them. Seriously. I am VERy lucky that my brother in law and sister in law were there to follow the Easter Bunny around, because they could remember where those eggs were. Where as when it was my mother in laws turn to follow, she failed to remember.. So, the kids gave up after about 33 of the 50 plus eggs were found. (we had some plastic eggs too). Then it turned into an Easter egg hunt for the adults.




We also had two new chicks hatch out that day!!

BR was off on Wend. and told me to get the stuff ready, we were going fishing. OH JOY. We let Rayley skip school too, since she only sees her dad for about 3 hours a week on his one day off.. She is in bed when he comes home all the rest of the time.
Dont get me wrong, I love the serenity of fishing. The quietness, the peacefulness, the fun competition that BR and I have with it. We have spent many an hour fishing together. I dont mind the dirt, the smell, (well except stink bait... ), the worms, can bait my own hook, unhook my own fish, and undo most of my own tangles. Till BR decides he can do it better and takes it away. But fishing with kids is... differnt.
Especially four of them..


BR had one thing he had to do before we got started, he had to tote some dirt for my great uncle. So the kids and I drove to the pond and sat around. Finally, when I knew that BR was close to being done, I told them to unload the chairs, poles, and tackle box.

Kids being kids they just couldnt resist wetting the hook, so Brett threw his over the dock railing. That is when I knew the day had just went to hell. because he had no sooner than dropped that hook in, then he had a bite.
I kid you not. there was NO bait on it. NOTHING. just a hook!

I knew then and there that I was NOT going to let them start before I had another able bodied adult beside me.

When he got there, I did Bow's first, and the kid has never seen a fishing pole before today. But he took to it like..well, a fish to water. It didnt take him 2 seconds to start screaming "got un" and he was right! I didnt even have Rayley's hook baited yet..





Now Rayley had decided she was NOT going to use a worm. She will play with worms, but she wasnt gonna squeeze ones guts out she said. OH WE could bait it with a worm, but she wasnt.

So, I got to bait her hook too, till I dug through the tackle box and found some fake hot pink maggots. She LOVED those, and started baiting her own hook. Now the first fish she caught, like 45 seconds after we got there, I took off, but with everyone catching them so quick, and having to even help the boys out at times because of the way the fish were taking the hook, I finally told her that if she was going to fish, she was gonna do it all. So she decided to learn to get it off the hook her self..



















Bow wouldnt touch one to save his life. he kept saying 'bite me' thinking it would bite him. It was just little perch, although some were real good frying size.








We put the first 30 or 45 minutes 'handsized' catch's on the stringer to just take a picture of. And threw back 30 that were smaller. Then we quit keeping them. we told the kids that they were all too small and threw back the strung ones too. manyof them were great eating size, but we just honestly didnt want to clean them.






We did this for about 4 hours. Just constant, bait, hook, reel. The boys and even Rayley for the most part were self sufficiant, exept for all the trees, and each other that they kept hooking.

I even stopped baiting Bow's line to try and save myself the headache. But Bretts first fish was not a fluke. They would still bite the empty hook. LOL

Finally it was time to go home. I started gathering everything up and the kids helped.

***Now, as I am writing this blog I said to myself "self, where in the HELL is the camera?- you cant blog about this with out pictures-" and self said "why sweetie, I dont have a clue. Wonder where you put it?" actually, self was NOT that nice.. But this blog is family friendly....

So Me and Self started looking.. we couldnt find it.. We looked in the truck, in the armsof the chairs, in the house.... finally I told self that she needed to go back to the pond and look. cause I'm pretty sure the moron left it on the tire of BR's tractor when we were getting ready to go.. You know, to keep it out of little dirty grubby hands??..... yep..
Well, Self refused to go. So I did. Down the highway, down the lane past my garden, through the hay pasture, past the blueberry patch, into the woods and to the serene little hole where the pond is on my aunt and uncles land...



and guess what I found?? I can tell you this, I could just kick myself...

If you dont know, on Wend night, it rained over an inch and a half. and BR's tractor tires are HUGE.

Amazingly, it survived.. and it will still take a picture.. I dont know if the pictures will ever be good, or right, but it will work...

****** Confession over. back to your regularly scheduled program. which is NOT supposed to make ME look like an idiot. *************


Thursday my grandfather and his wife had offered to come over and help us process the 20 broilers we had left.

when I got Bertha Sue and the boys up that morning, her to go to school and them to feed, she was NOT going. I told her she had to. If she didnt she wouldnt be able to go to the zoo next week. That the truency officer would call the cops on me and I'd have to homeschool her too.

So she started to sulk. AND cry. and beller. When I asked why she said "I'm not gonna learn how to kill a chicken- then I'm gonna grow up and be useless!! Its not fair!!"

I assured her that there would be plenty of time for her to learn. But she wasnt convinced.

I honestly have never butchered a chicken before. Deer, squirrel, Rabbit, coon, snake, fish, all of that I can do- I was sick when our family helped my cousin do his. and although we knew the general way to do it. I did want guidence. AND I wanted my birds to still be whole, like you buy at the store, not cut from sternum to pelvis.

And wanted to know how to kill them by watching, not just being told. So he showed the boys how to wring their necks, we dipped them in hot water, plucked, and seared off the hairs and feathers, then we gutted them and put them on ice. It was really not hard work. And the boys really did work. I was proud of them. In the next day or two we will get together again and my grandfather is going to show me the best way to actually cut up a chicken. I get mystery peices.

But in the end, we got over 100 lbs of chicken. each bird weighed anywhere from 5 to 6 pounds after butchering. Thats not bad.

Poor Bertha Sue came home right as the last bird was being cleaned out. She missed all the 'learning and fun' as she called it. BUT, she did promptly offer up a solution. She wanted to kill her daddys big rooster. When I told her she could, if she could catch him and then we'd show her how. She counter offered with getting her BB gun and taking care of it. But she wasnt getting close enough to lay hands on him till he was dead as a doorknob. I declined the OH so tempting offer. One day he will be in the stew pot though, cause that is one mean clump of feathers.

Bow is still taking care of his ducks, EVERY day he tells me he needs to feed them. And I actually had to start buying him green beans to feed them with. At first the kids all claimed a duck. But I think they have pretty much decided they just all belong to Bow. Of course they might be the only thing on the place, save the dogs that are safe from us. NOONE I know eats duck. Its ALL dark meat, and quite greasy.. I've heard that wild duck is good, the breast, cooked on a pit. But I aint willin to chance it. Hunting duck is expensive.

Of course, when the kids asked me the other day if we were gonna start raising ducks and butchering them, and I told them no- that the ducks, horses and dogs are about all that was safe around here- one of them, little miss darling to be specific said "well, I aint too sure about the dog part" .....

I think I just ate a ......

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testical...

seriously. THIS is what I heard at the dinner table tonight. Seriously.

BUT, let me rewind a few days..

The kids are talking to me again- Thats a good thing.
mostly.

On Friday morning we got up early, loaded up our chickens and went to the fatstock show.

We were the last to check in, and Bretts birds were accepted. One of Matts had a broken wing- dont ask me why this matters, ALL they check is the breast. thats all they even touch. The drumsticks dont matter, noone eats the wings, they dont even LOOK at them. BUT, we had to grab an alternate. It wasnt as good of a bird, but it made a trio.

We were brought in in waves of 10 and there were 30 kids showing. Of course, we were the last ones in the ring.

Here is what you do, you walk in with your 3 birds, and 2 people who either love you too much to say no, or owe you a REALLY big favor. You take these birds, that weigh between 8 adn 10 lbs, and you hold them up. You hold them with one hand, by the feet. Upsidedown, breasts out. And you want to hold them up chest high for the judge. Now if you dont think this gets hard, try holding a frozen turkey up by one hand for 3 hours. OH and while you are doing this, have someone stand behind a counter and occasionally lob globs of slime at you. 'cause chickens are NOT discresionary eliminators. Matter of fact, in my experience, in that very small brain that a chicken has, it has just a few functions, EAT, attack if its a rooster, and poop. EVERYwhere. And if you are holding it upside down, the poop CAN defy gravity.

Okay, so it wasnt 3 hours, but he had 30 kids and all 30 kids had 3 birds each.
He was kinda placing them as he went. And Brett quickly moved up past Matt. Then he moved up past the next kid. Then finally the judge sent some kids to the end of the line. Then he kept moving Brett up. He even took him and his birds (and his birds handlers) all the way across the ring and compared his birds to the ones at about halfway down. We got excited for a minute. He felt up one bird, then the other, then the other, and on and on. FINALLY he put Brett back in line. where he was to start with.










when it ended the kids were in 28th place for Matt and 21st place for Brett. We could have done so much better if we had guidence from the start, but our Guardian angels didnt know we needed help till 3 weeks in. And we did real good once they got here. He helped us ALOT. We would have never even made it to the ring if we hadnt gotten that help. We didnt make sale, and the kids didnt get to do showmanship, but we did learn, we did finish the project, and we now know what to do next year. PLUS, my kids have more knowledge about chickens and how they come to be on your dining room table.




Ours were not as big as some, but the judge said they were nice. He liked one of Bretts alot, but you need to have 3 great ones.

Once we were elminated from the ring we looked at the rabbits, and then the hogs, then not knowing what else we had to do, ( stay, listen, sign out, do showmanship-??) since thats something they dont tell you when you are getting ready for show- I guess they think everyone just knows.... we started home.

Once we got home, we had a dead bird. And one that was dying. They stress really bad, and are not the healthiest of animals, I mean you are putting 8 pounds of meat on them in 6 weeks- so they will have heartattacks pretty easy. So the boys decided to butcher them. They also got two roosters that were not in my laying flock and should have been butchered the weekend I got so sick. The general rule of thumb when harvesting chickens is- do as many as you can, cause if you do one, or you do 20, you are going to have a MESS.

They did all of it. They killed them, plucked them, and cleaned them. Their daddy had given them their pocket knives that morning to carry at all times, so they got to use those. And we gave some guidence where we could.

Getting your pocket knife as a country kid is a very important time. Its like getting your first gun. We had never let them have them before because we really couldnt trust that they wouldnt bring them to school. Or loose them since they wouldnt be keeping up with them all the time. But he decided the time was right. And it was. You dont know how often you pull out a pocket knife when you are outside working. And yes, I carry one most of the time.

Once the kids got done with the butchering, and we got done seperating the seed peas from their hulls we headed to the gardens to plant the 10lbs of corn.

I am not sure how many rows we got. I lost count after the 11th row. But I know it was alot. cause I had to walk behind the planter every step of the way. And its not a brisk walk. Its a slow, tedious walk, constantly watching the ground. Walking in tilled ground. Our planter is about 50 years old, and sometimes it has issues. When your driving the tractor you dont know that the gears have stopped and your not planting.

Oh and I got to carry Bow- about halfway through the corn my grandfather came and got him. He had fallen asleep and never even knew I transfered him, but I was SSOOOO relieved. Talk about deadweight!

Towards the end I decided to take a break, and told Hoover to watch the chains. Its like bike chains that turn the fertilizer hopper and the seeder.

Matt did about half a row, and I walked back to the tractor and jumped on to talk to BR. I was sittin on the hood and next thing I knew Hoover was sittin on the planter. I told him that was fine, but he better watch the one chain, I'd watch the other. At the end of the rows BR would pick up the planter and then set it back down when he lined back up. this was fun, so Brett decided to join Hoov.





We got to the last row and BR happened to ask "everything okay back there?"
well I looked behind us and could see right off that no, one was not spinning. Then we had to find out where we had stopped.

this entailed walking back down the rows and digging it up till we found corn. It was 3 rows back.

We fixed that, and again, I had to start walking. IT was NOT fun. By the time we were done I was dusty, and my feet hurt so bad that I didnt think I could put one in front of the other to walk anywhere else.

We came home, fed and relaxed the rest of the day. Usually we try to clean at least one of the stalls or coops a day- we decided to skip it. LOL And we REALLY needed to casterate the meat hogs. But, just didnt have the energy. If you dont cut them, they can make the meat taste bad, and they dont grow out as quickly. A cut animal puts on more weight quicker. And like I said, the testosterone being gone will make the meat taste better.

The boys decided to cook breakfast one morning for me. The night before I had kinda fallen asleep early, I try to wait till BR gets home around 10-11. But I had a fever and just didnt feel good. The next morning I got up, got Rayley headed to school, BR's lunch cooked and them awake to feed. Next thing I know the smoke alarms are waking me up. Now they have cooked breakfast before, so they know how. But our alarms are VERY sensitive. They didnt burn anything, they just got too much smoke going I reckon.

Then, yesterday morning I had sent them out to feed around 6. Next thing I know its pert near 9 and they were still gone. So I set off the truck alarm. We had to start school AND they still had their chores in the house to do. Like gathering up laundry, making the bathroom presentable, etc.

They came up to the house, out of breath. I asked what they were doing. THey had found a rich lighter pine stump in the woods and as a suprise were chopping it up to use in the BBQ pit. That was soo sweet. Except I knew they were stalling, not wanting to get their day started. But they did chop me up a 5 gallon bucketfull.

We ran to town yesterday and got some WHite Oak saplings, I think there is about 100 of them, to put out. We got them through our local NWTF chapter.

And once we got home it was feeding time and time to start supper. We needed to fry up the chickens that were in the fridge. So we fed everything, (roughly 91 animals. ya know- thats ALOT of poop...) and then I was messing with the horses that we are boarding and Bow was putting water in the stock tank. The boys had ran off to the edge of the clearing about 25 feet away. Then I hear:
"There it comes!"
"well STOP it"
"I'm TRYING"
"okay I got it!"
"what is it?"
"I dont know"

I asked what kind of snake they had- they said it was a big un. That does NOT tell me much.
Then, it started into some underbrush, at this point Brett grabbed the tail, it whipped around to hiss and strike him. But he was quick.

They killed it and brought it to us. I told them to feed it to the hogs, we had to get supper on the table. Fryin chicken is NOT a quick meal.

Plus its not good to let Bow see you playin with a 'nake' as he calls them. He doesnt have the sense to kill it first.

So they came in and washed up. Brett cut up the chickens and proceeded to fry it. Matt was helping, but then he disapeared. Come to find out he hadnt fed the snake to the hogs after all and had it placed infront of the steps with a string on it to pull it in front of his dad when he got home. I dont know how that turned out since I was supervising the cooking. I helped them make a couple of pans of biscuts and BR came home. He had ran out of hours he is allowed to be on the road and got to come home early- so we all sat around talking.

Rayley finally made it home- she had been with my mother in law after school and they had to run some erronds. Then my MIL's truck broke down. which we need to go and get fixed this morning. its just a belt and the pully arm. Anyway Bow told his
all about his day. In his own language.
Every day he feeds his ducks. I give him a bowl of green beans and he heads out and hand feeds the 4 babies. He cant count past 3, so when you ask him how many ducks he has he will put up his fingers and with the first finger say "un, ooo, ree," and then another finger and say "un". He also told his daddy the story of killing the 'nake'. Without words he uses alot of hand and body motion.

Finally around 9 supper was ready. mashed taters, gravy (which I had to make, cause noone else around here can) biscuts and fried chicken.

I am very proud of my boys. They raised these birds from a day old. they kept them warm, they fed them, cleaned up after them, watered them, then they butchered them, cleaned them, and prepared them. I know grown folks who couldnt do that. And they were good. If you've never had a fresh chicken, you should do everything you can to get one. They are VERY good. you would be suprised at how bland a store bought chicken is. I reckon somehow they take every bit of the meat taste out of them at the plant.


Anyway, the meal started off like they all do, with the prayer- which Rayley likes to say. Bow likes to say it too. And sometimes we let him. But if someone else is saying it, he will cross his little hands and talk along with the one giving Thanks. Some of the words are legible. And if he thinks you are going on too long, he will start throwin out an Amen, to speed you up. I need to record it one day.

Then we ate. Everyone was talking about differnt things, we discussed the math and history the boys are learning, Rayley talked about school, and Bow smeared food on everything. We do have protocol as to what can be discussed at the dinner table. I dont like potty humor. PERIOD. Now, we will talk about chores we have to do on occasion, mucking stalls, etc, but for the most part, I just want normal conversations.
We all ate so much we were having a hard time moving, and were starting to get up and clear away stuff when Rayley took her last bite.

She screwed up her face and said "I think I just ate a testical"

We didnt gasp, we didnt freak out. This was one of those moments when you dont even laugh, you just tear up. You need to laugh so hard you cant. One of us managed to say "what?" and she said "Really! Its hard and nasty!" So, amid wiping tears, and laughing BR said "I think you meant 'grissle'."

LIfe just sucks sometimes.

I got to do another cake! I am proud of parts of it, and embarressed by other parts, but all in all, I think I did a pretty good job.






It was for a grand opening of a new store in town called 'camo and lace' - Its handpainted on homemade fondant. I honestly dont know how much it weighed, I meant to weigh it but forgot. It was over 6 batches of cake. and 2 batches of fondant.

The kids helped by mixing up everything for me. it was a good learning experience for them, all recipies had to be doubled or tripled. And that is fractions. plus, they got to watch me level it, make it square, and hey- I painted it, and even if you dont like the painting, or dont think its good- thats some of that art appriciation crap that you have to learn in school... right?? I mean seriously- who looks at a Picaso and says "beautiful!!" or a Salvidor Dali? Its art, you look, then you appriciate the fact that some other idiot paid a gazillion dollars for it, therefor making themselves look like a fool, and has to hang it in THEIR livingroom and stare at it all the time, making them regret making a purchase when influenced by wine and caviar, and swear to never do it again. So it was a lesson in math, home ec, and art appriciation. OH and a 'bring your kids to work day'... so that like... 4 birds with one stone .. right?? yep...

They were also my official taste testers. I had never made fondant and so I was using them as guinia pigs. I have heard alot of bad things about it, and that people hated it. they LOVED it. the batch with vanilla flavor they said tasted like the middle of an oreo.

Rolling out enough fondant for a 1/2 sheet cake wasnt easy, but honestly it wasnt as hard as I thought it would be. I was also scared of it being hard to smooth, or not meeting on the edges and looking good. I plopped it on there and it acted like it had been molded for the cake.

I was soooo scared. cause if the 'hard' part of the cake ended up that easy, I knew something would screw up. Then the painting went so well!! I was impressed.
Then came the part that every mom who has ever made a cake can do- I mean you get tips, you get bags, you make frosting, and you pipe .. right? well I cant pipe. I am NOT an artist. I just CANT do it. so thats the part that I am disapointed in.

The last few weeks have been going well. The kids are getting into a routine and we are really getting to know each other. Its amazing how much you dont know your kids when you dont see them for 11 hours a day. I really cant wait to get Rayley out of school.


The inlaws got the boys some bikes last week. Theirs were all tore up. they had tried to 'fix' differnt things and it just didnt work. They hadnt asked their daddy or I to fix things, they had just jacked the pliers, screwdrivers, wrenches, whatever and 'fixed' it themselves.

Plus they really hadnt taken care of them, to be honest, so I was happy to let them request bikes for a little while longer, and had thought about them being a birthday present for Matts birthday in April. But the inlaws showed up with them and I didnt know about it. Matter of fact, they drove up at like 8 one night. I was sending the kids to bed. and a large truck drove up. BR drives a small truck, so that detail makes a differnce. :) Anyway, after I got them out of the windows, and secured a firearm, (hey, I live in the country, it was dark and noone said they were coming over), I stepped outside. The dome light comes on and I see who it is, so I just walked back in the house, putting back the gun, and sat down. my mother in law came in and the boys ran outside. Or Rayley and Brett ran outside to see pawpaw. Then my mother in law says "Matty, go see what pawpaws got in the back of his truck"

That was IT, I saw RED. I said "what the hell has he got?? It BETTER not be alive!"
cause you know- thats my luck- oh speaking of being such a lucky duck. remind me to tell you about the ducks... she laughed and said no- but wouldnt tell me WHAT it was. So I fiqured she was lying. But it was just bikes. So, mad as I was that they had spent the money, and not at least waited till a birthday to do it, I wasnt mad, cause I dont have to feed it, clean up after it, or try to keep a headcount on it. I swear thats all I do all day. COUNT. count the kids (there are 3 all day and 4 at night), count the pigs (3 grown, one feeder, and 8 piglets), count chickens, (like 35 or so), count dogs Cause sometimes they go down to the highway..., count rabbits, (16), count broilers (actually, I count how many died that day- started out with 50- down to about 18...) But I'm really tired of counting. and honestly, cause I think I have some sort of OCD- I like my counts to end in odd numbers... and EVERYTHING around here, although ODD, is even... drives me BATTY!!!

BUT I digress...

They had tried to find Rayley some training wheels, she has a 12 inch, but they couldnt. She was heartbroken--- had she kept up with hers that came OFF her bike she would know where they were.... So the next day they showed up with an 18 inch for her. Its pink and purple, and has the tassles and the whole nine yards. Its almost too big, but not quite. Its HUGE. dont get me wrong, but her long legs reach just fine. BUT we did remember after she tried to ride it why she had insisted on the training wheels being taken off. See when you live in the country, you dont have nice smooth concrete to ride on, you dont have a soft, even, mowed lawn. You have ruts, you have small hills, you have rocks, and potholes, and dogholes, and sticks, and everything else. Well, all the kids had gotten rid of their training wheels a few years back because you get high centered pretty quick. Poor thing gets stuck everytime she turns around. She told her me-me the other day "well I reckon that bike is gonna whoop me yet".
But they also got BOW a bike. and all he wants to do it 'whide his ike' its a little 12 inch. cute as all get out. But he doesnt reach the peddles. so the boys have to push him. OR he will follow them everywhere they go, by pushing the bike. LOL He does get on it and 'vroom vroom' but cant make it go. He does love it though. He had a small 10 inch, that he CAN reach, BUT it is old old. Its been around since before I had kids. So the sprockets and such are froze up on it.

Brett did finally tie a string to his bike and will pull Bow on his. But he has to be careful, cause Bow will fall off. LOL


OH yeah- DUCKS.. there are a few words that I would LOVE to use in this little story that works well with duck.. But I am trying to be ladylike.
So anyway- I am at tractor supply the other day- and the manager is always pickin at me, cause of my kids. ya know- the heathens that I have to drag around with me? It seems that when they walk in that store they literly loose their heads. and their hometrainin.
So anyway, I had to get a few things, and they were actin a fool. and I was trying to thump their heads with out cameras catching me. Just about to pull out someones hair.. Bow could hear chirping. so he said "me see babys" so I drove the buggy over there. and then the manager saw us. he said "y'all need some ducks" I told him 'uhhhh not NO but HELL no we didnt need no durn ducks... ' He laughed, I laughed, he said "Matt, get one of those boxes and pick you out 4 ducks" I said "do it and DIE" - So now I have to count 4 ducks. - 2 peking ducks and 2 mallards. they are cute. But NASTY. seriously. Right now they are in a cage- with food and water. But ducks have to have a bowl, cause they have to dunk their head and clear their sinus' or something.

Anyway, daily I take these ducks out of their little cage, and fill up a pool with about 2 inches of water, and let them swim and chase green beans. Then we take them out, and let them walk for a while. then they have to go back up. they are still babies. But there are quite a few facts that I didnt know about ducks. Things I'm not sure I wanted to know. they are actually nastier than a chicken. they poop like 20 times more- AND, the minute they get in the water- they poop. kid you not.

but they dont peck like chickens, they kinda just snap their bills together it really doesnt hurt, and it makes a funny noise. they are kinda cute. but DANG IT- I didnt need something else to feed, count and wonder about.


The boys have been working with the nicest couple on their chickens. I found him a few weeks late, we were already 3 weeks into the wrong feeding program, I was keeping the chickens too hot (cause I was keeping them like normal laying chickens), and I hadnt expanded their wingbands- which would have resulted in them having deformed wings, OR their wings cut into. I didnt know any of this. But he and his wife have been a Godsend.

he has shown the kids what they need to be doing. he has shown them how to do it. and he has spent some time with them. I am a firm beliver that anytime an adult will spend time with a kid, especially one not kin to them, is a great thing. It shows them how to interact with more adults, how to learn from differnt people, and allows them to use their hometrainin.

Our show is tomorrow, and we have to be there at 7:30 to check in. I dont fiqure we will do well. Our chickens might weigh in at around 6 pounds, and they still dont have all their feathers cause of me keeping them too hot for too long. But I hope the boys do learn something. I know they did learn from our Guardian Angels.

Tonight was the night to pick out the 3 each boy would take tomorrow, and an alternate. Our chicken gurus were here and we were in there knee deep in chicken poop, laughing and learning. Then I noticed that the dadgum piglets had got out of their pen and were in my sweet potatoe patch! so I ran over there to rescue my tater sprouts and next thing I knew everyone was screaming at Bow to move, trying to get to him, and Duke, my old dog and Cheeto, the kids newest adoptee were tied up. Cheeto had Duke by the throat and Duke couldnt get up. His back is so bad that he can barely walk right half the time. he isnt in pain perse. its more of a paralized thing.

Mrs Barber was able to grab Bow, and Brett ran over, I hollered at him to get out of there, and I went over and grabbed up a patio chair. I was trying to get them apart, but one look and I knew. The pit in cheeto had come out and he was locked on Duke. there was no stopping it. So, Mr Barber hollered at the boys to get the hose. The dogs were literly fighting against the coop the kids and he had been in. All the coop is is a box, just a frame with chicken wire around it. And they were against the chicken wire. I was still trying with the chair, and Brett got the hose. They were hollering not to hurt Cheeto, and spraying them with the highpowered hose. He wasnt letting up. So I headed to the house. I didnt have a choice. My baby had been knocked down when they started fighting. and everyone knows what happens when a pit locks onto something. I came back out and the kids really started screaming at me then. But there was no hesitation. I did what I had to do. He was killing my dog. It was over fast. and afterwards Mr Barber told me that he had hit him in the head twice with a shovel as hard as he could. Nothing was making him let go.

All 3 of the older kids were crying, But I do have to give it to Matt, I went and got the tractor, and he told me, "stay there mom, I'll put him in the bucket". I told him that was awful grown up of him. I understand how upset they are. they did love that dog. And he was a good dog, I dont know why they tied up. I guess it has something to do with Bowdrie. He was standing there petting on Duke, and then Cheeto wanted attention too. I am just lucky he was knocked backwards and into a chair.

The kids are all mad at me. Right now they are at my sister in laws. I thought a little time away from me might help them a little. Rayley is really mad. She spend the first 45 minutes after it happened sitting in Mrs Barbers lap and wailing like a banshie, talking about how much she loved the dog. Mr Barber took the boys on a walk. Brett is really heartbroken, he had pretty much claimed Cheeto from the start. sneaking him food when I said I wasnt feeding no damn stray. And he would bath that dog, and did take care of him. And he was a good dog, he chased off whatever would come up- he tree'd snakes, he never offered to hurt the kids. I had even relented and started feeding him AND letting him sleep in the house. But sometimes you just dont know what will be the trigger.

I dont regret it, and although its always hard to take the life of one of God's creatures, sometimes you have to do what you feel is the best for your family.

Now, when the dog first showed up, I said we needed to shoot it. BR said we needed to shoot it. We didnt know how he would act around OUR dogs, or how he would be around the livestock. And especially didnt know how he would react to 4 squeeling, screaming, roughhousing kids. He had obvious pit in him. And I am not one who looks at a pit and has fear- I've owned them before and they were the best dogs. BUT I raised them from pups on up. I didnt get a dog with baggage.

He fit right in. We let him in. And he turned out to be a good dog. BR even said one day- its hunting season, that damn dog better not interfear with my deer hunting, or I'm gonna shoot him- well before you get offended, thats a way of life. Strays are an unknown. And we feed our family deer hunting. But that next day BR said "I'm going out hunting, if he follows me he is dead" do you know that dog followed him to the edge of the woods and stopped. That was as far as he went. I think thats when we just decided he was here to stay. And he was treated like one of our own. we didnt want another dog, we were just at that point in our lives where we were kinda on the cusp of being dogless. Duke is old, and wont be around much longer, but we accepted that he was given to us and we gave him a good home. I dont regret my decision. I would make it again in a heartbeat. It could have just as easily been my child. Any one of them. Or a stranger. I am just glad that I was able and willing to do it.

Duke should be okay. His back is hurting him pretty bad, he is stove up. It was all I could do to get him to walk back to the house. He was bound and determined to stay with the kids at the barn. But he was just dead on his feet. Luckly he still has his winter coat, and there doesnt seem to be any bad wounds. he is pretty bruised up, and very tired. And a little confused I think.

When I started this blog, it was to keep me sane. And it has helped me alot through the last few years. More than you, my dear reader will know- Its given me the chance to look back and laugh at things my kids have done, its given me the chance to vent and whine and bitch about my life and all my troubles. I have started using it as a diary. A way to deal with what life throws at me. I dont tell everything- contrary to popular belief- LOL , but I do use this as therapy. Its amazing how much better you feel when you are able to get stuff off your chest. And I know I usually entertain you, make you laugh, or at least -shake your head, then turn it up to the heavens and thank the Dear Lord that you are not me. But, I do try to portray an honest picture of our lives. Of my struggles, with raising 4 headstong kids, trying to teach them right from wrong, and trying to be a good parent and person. I needed to get this off my chest, and this is how I do it. So, I hope you understand why I wrote about this.

Now, my kids are home, and I am going to get off here and try to convence them that I didnt do what I did out of spite,or to be mean, but instead, out of love. pure and simple. And I would do it again. It sucks, but thats what being a mom is all about- protecting your children. Even those with fur. Protecting them from current and future hurts, and trying to make their lives easier and safer.