I quit smoking on March 22, 2011 with Electronic Cigarettes

Saturday, May 21, 2011

May 21- the end of the world, or just another day-

Today I went to a funeral for a baby girl- Faith Renee Hancock- the newborn daughter of Todd and Tonya. I cant express how sad I am for them and their families. As I was driving to the funeral, in my pretty pink and green and yellow flowered dress, because they asked us to wear spring colors, I saw people all around, on their horses riding, on their lawnmowers, at the farmers market, getting gas in their 4wheelers or boats, or at a car show in down town Jasper, with a bouncy house and festive atmosphere- and I couldnt help but be mad at everyone- for going about their day and their lives, while quite a few of the people of this town were going to a cemetary to lay a baby to rest- the hardest thing a family can do- We were going to witness it, we were going to share it in, and these people were just going about their lives like nothing had happened.
I was SO mad at them. And I was jealous- A beautiful spring day, and I was going to witness every parents worst nightmare. Be a part of every grandparents worst day. And they were enjoying life, or going about their mundane chores like someone's world wasnt ending.

And then I realized, we all do it- every second of every day- there is someone with their greatest triumph and someone suffering their greatest loss- while we are whooping and hollering and having a blast, someone else is sad and lonely and desperate for the hurt to go away. So, try to remember that- sometimes the lady in walmart who runs out in front of you with her buggy isnt doing it to be rude or disrespectful, she is just thinking back to watching all those pretty pink balloons lift off from a sad muddy graveyard and float to the heavens with a prayer for a baby who never felt the sunshine.

The service was beautiful, heartwrenching and touching. I pray I never have to watch another man carry his baby's casket into a crowd of people to be put into the ground- But I also pray that I get to witness the love and empathy that I saw today for the rest of my life.
What these parents did for us, their friends and family, to allow us into their most sacred and heartbreaking time is beyond words. I will never be able to repay them for teaching me the true meaning of life, love , and Faith- for sharing their joys and heartbreak with us, through pictures, blog posts and facebook-

Now, as a Christian I dont believe today is the end of the world- But, if it is- I know I saw the purest love today that there ever has been. Love that is born the second parents realize a million in one chance has happened, there is a life growing, for them to nurture and love- THAT is pure love- to love something that isnt even here yet- to anticipate it, to long for it. And true grief is to have it taken from you before you can enjoy it.

That being said- Is it supposed to be at 5pm central or eastern that the world ends? cause its already 3 here and I got alot to do and need to know if I only have another hour.....

In true Byerly fashion, my kids enjoyed last night- just incase the end IS coming-

See, we are the type of family that really does try to stay quiet, and keep to ourselves, and we work hard at not causing drama- or excitement- BUT, it seems to find us- no matter what- Just a simple BBQ? let my kids come over- one will fall in your swimming pool and try to walk on the bottom.
Having a nice family reunion? some kid will make fun of one of my kids and then someone ends up with a bloody nose and whining about 'that mean byerly boy'.. We just attract situations- most of the time, NOT even of our own making. We are just in the right place, at the right time, and BOOM- we are a headline- AGAIN.

My sister in law came and got them and took them to her moms pool hall- its in a tiny little town north of here- Before they left I made them put on decent clothes, and told them "DONT be rude, please be good, and DONT insult anyone- alot of my clients are from Pineland, and they ALL know you are my kids- even if YOU dont know them!"

I didnt mention anything about enticeing K9 units or being involoved in a manhunt-

I have GOT to learn that I need to quit telling them what NOT to do, and only tell them what they CAN do- (its the buzzard catching thing ALL over again- )

so anyway- as I hear the story, this is what happened. They were all playing pool, when my sister in law gets a phone call from her daughter- she is dog sitting the K9 for the police department- at the policemans house.

my neice needs a lighter... to light a candle.. well sister in law, being the astute person she is, knows this is bunk- BUT, heads over there anyway- well it WAS bunk- Come to find out- the policemans house sits on an airstrip- and planes DO use it. well, As my neice is in the house, some guy from out of state, lands his plane and then walks in and closes the door- like he owns the place- the Dog went on full alert, and the man left. BUT- and this is where my kids become involved-- When my sister in law gets there, with my so far, well behaved children in tow, the resident police officer comes screaching in on two wheels, with a few on duty buddies. (my kids got so excited at this point of the story that I pretty much had to get the rest from my sister in law) - I heard 'dust flying everywhere' 'two wheels' , 'like on TV' etc etc....

SO- then they go to looking for said pilot- the one who has NO clue where he is- and proceed to arrest him- well in the meantime, my kids are enjoying the crap out of this- I mean they are in the MIDDLE of a man hunt- guns drawn, full police mode- (or at least thats what they remember in their heads)-
THEN, my neice brings out the K9 dog- and proceeded to tell my intellegent but commonsense lacking boys that he only attacks when commanded by words in German.

Which leads them to attempt to say every 'germanish' word they can think of- "Schnitzel"
(they dont know many german words...)

All my Sister in law could think of was "OMG- what if his attack word IS "Schinitzel"?

Luckily for them, it wasnt- and soon law and order was restored to the sleepy little town of Pineland, but forever will it be remembered that was the day that the Byerly boys came to town. EVEN if they were not directly involoved!

Now, I also have to tell off on Bow- A friend of ours came over to pick something up- this is the guy who has the distinct privledge of picking up all of my dead animals and taking them to his wife who is a taxidermist- the day he had a dozen frozen rabbits all over the bed of his truck because the bag busted is PRICELESS- and he was on the porch and we were shooting the breeze when the kids dumped out some grub worms- He asked Bow if he had ever eaten one. Bow just looked at him with the 'hmmmmm- I cant remember if I am supposed to admit to that or not' look...

So then, Brett asks "have you ever ate a BBQ'd grasshopper? "
and Tom Says "no, but I've had chocolate covered Grasshoppers"
and Bow says "I eat chocolate covered Bunnies!" I guess he thinks his easter bunnies are the real thing- dipped in chocolate- which brings me to my next point- I need to make sure there is NEVER any dipping chocolate around here- as we still have a few live bunnies at the barn....

********** breaking news*********
Just overheard in my kitchen-
my nephew who is 8 is over here with Rayley and Bow, they are playing- They just came in and asked if they could have a sandwhich- I said "yes"
So, they went into the kitchen, and I hear the normal sounds- Getting of the bread, jelly, peanut butter, and setting it on the counter-
Then Masen says " So where are the sandwhiches?"
Rayley said "uhhh we have to make them"
"OH" he said-

Then, he says "so uhhhhhh where is the package they are in?" Rayley said "well there is the bread, the peanut butter and the jelly, we have to assemble it"


5 minutes later he says "ya know, I have never made my own sandwhich before" So to his future wife- dont let him fool ya, his aunt Michelle made him learn how- once upon a time.....

20 minutes ago they were outside playing- and in came Bow, he had a 'needle' in his 'inger'

I knew imediatly he had a cactus thorn in his thumb- Behind him came in Rayley and Masen.

Now, we dont just have cactus growing all over- BRett has a cactus garden. With maybe 3 cacti in it.
I asked "so why did you idiots get in the cactus?"
They all looked at me like a deer in the headlights- to which Masen replied "I DIDNT" all proud of hisself-

"I am not stupid, I know this is a cactus thorn, and I know it didnt jump off and attack you, so WHY did you touch it?"

Bertha Sue- in her infinate wisdom and beleif that a good excuse will always get someone ELSE in trouble says "well Masen dared us to"
uhhhhh okay-
SO, me, being me, said "well aint that just the brightest thing you have ever done?"
"well when someone dares you to do something you HAVE to do it, its the law!"
"well in that case, I DARE you to clean up the trash in the yard and double dog dare you to clean your room"
all this time I am sticking tape to Bows thumb trying to get this miniscule hairlike thorn out, while he screams-

"not funny MOOOOM" and to Masen " you butthead, your an idiot"
"well Rayley, he cant be both and let me explain the differnce to you between an idiot and an ass- see, an ass is gonna see just how much of an idiot you are- and in this case the ass won.
who is standing here begging for tape? saying they have thorns in their hands?
Right- YOU and Bow-
whats Masen standing there doing? -

Laughing at you for being an idiot.
You KNEW there were thorns, you KNEW they hurt, and yet, you were dumb enough to stick your hand in them. "

Now Masen did want to be insulted that I called him an ass- but I also explained to him that he KNEW better than to touch them, and no matter how dumb some people are, when you take advantage of that, you are indeed an ass.

Nothing to be mad about- its just kids being kids- and hopefully, kids that have learned a life lesson, again, at the hands of mother nature- and thanks to my lackluster parenting skills-

If not, Scotch tape is a good thorn puller-

Now its 4pm my time, and I either have an hour to get my toe nails painted so I dont go into the afterlife with chipped nails and am driven nuts for eternity, OR the world ISNT going to end, and I have to cook BR's supper- either way- I have work to do-

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Logic doesnt work with MY kids......

Well, I reread my 'love and logic' book- I am TRYING to raise happy healthy kids, without the aid of pharmasutical enhancements.

It seems sooo easy in a book- but resisting the urge to reach out and touch someone, especially when they feel the need to be a smartmouthed brat is very hard.

Yesterday I started off by giving them each a plastic sheet for their beds.

"whats this?"
"read the package"
"But we dont wet the bed"
"this is not for your bed wetting, its for mine"
"from here on out, I will walk in and wake you once, I will then holler from the door to wake you a second time, the third time will be a pitcher full of water dumped on your head- and then you will be responsible for remaking your bed"
"But thats not fair!"
"your mean"
"GAWD I wish I could move out"
"awwww, I knew y'all would understand, thank you, I cant wait to start this new chapter in our lives!- Now, go make your beds, be sure to use 2 sheets and a blanket"

Basicly I am tired of begging, pleading, screaming, crying, whining and fighting with them to get the most simple thing done on a daily basis.
Every day I get the foot stomping, eye rolling, exasperated sighing and various under their breath comments that every mom has came to accept. And I will not stand for it anymore.

Yes its easier to ignore it, walk away from it, or just throw a fit in general. BUT, I have come to find out that it takes WAY too much energy and time away from me- Eventually what I want done gets done, but at great risk to my mental wellbeing and their physical wellbeing.
I am trying to find a solution to this- one that keeps me out of jail, and possibly them out of therapy. although to be honest, the latter is not of much concern to me. They will need someone to blame their lifes failures on, may as well be me right... :)

I sent my truck in for repairs on Monday- I had to have it towed to Lufkin- I am praying its just that stupid EGR cooler thing- just another EPA regulation to make our vehicles less efficiant and more expensive.

I am doing great with this not smoking thing- by switching to a personal vaporizer or electronic cigarette- well except for one small problem. See, when you have stick that is actually ON fire, you tend to watch where you set it, but when you have something that just 'fires' when you tell it to, and is convenient to sit down, or put in your pocket, you tend to set it down, or put it in your pocket- CONSTANTLY- which means I am always looking for it. This is a small price to pay- and honestly, I used to have to search for lighters the same way- but, at times it can get annoying.

I am 58 days in- not even a major pang for a cigarette- I am really proud- I have never stuck with any 'quit smoking' thing this long, without being ready to jump off a bridge, or throw someone else off one.

It is labor intesive- not to the point of taking up your whole day- but think of it as if you were having to roll your own cigarettes. occasionally you have to take the time to refill a cartridge, or clean your filters and such- but, I get to 'vape' strawberry pie flavored nicotine- or butterscotch, or watermelon. I am IN LOVE. if you are courious about how to quit smoking and start vaping- check out
AND DONT buy one from a gas station- they are a waste of money-

I am letting the kids go on an archery shoot next month- The boys, this will be their first trip away from home. I am SOOO apprehensive about it. Not that I am worried about them, or the people they are going with. I trust them totally. But I dont trust my kids no further than I can throw them. They will do SOMETHING to make people wonder if they have ANY home training, or act a fool, or worse, tell half of a story about something and make me look like a worse parent than I really am.

Now, everyone's hour of free time is up and we are fixing to start our 4 hours of school for the day- wish me luck!! or them.

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Luckily Blessing are not eggs- you CAN put them all in one basket

well a title eludes me-

most times I think of a title and then write. But for the last few days- I just couldn't think of one, and so I didn't write.

Its been kinda hard to write a funny and upbeat blog this week- and noone reads this to get depressed- SO- I have tried to store up some funnies- of course, I cant remember any of them- :)

BUT- lets get the bad part out of the way-

A dear family friend lost his battle with Cancer this week- Him and his wife have been a part of my life for my entire life- they were best friends with my grandparents- Heck, I didn't know we wernt kin till I was grown. Miles Weaver you will be missed-

A wonderful woman who I have known for years lost her newborn baby on the same day. She has known that Faith Renee was going to have a short life outside of the protective embrace of her body, but pre eclemsia moved her due date up 2 months and so she didn't have as much time as she wanted with this darling gift from God. Tonya, Todd and her beautiful girls have shared this awful time with so many of us, showing us what true faith looks like- Its amazing how many lives a baby that's never taken a single breath could touch- but before this sweet angel was even born she had taught more people the true meaning of faith and love then a thousand lectures ever could.

And my great aunt, who has taken care of my uncle and is one of the hardest working women I know, fell and broke her arm- right under her shoulder on Friday night- Due to where its at, they can not set it- I am thankful it wasn't a hip- But, its bad none the less.

now onto the selfish, feel sorry for me, part of my week-

Our calf died- well, she wasn't a calf anymore she was over a year old, but was .... for lack of a better term- mentally insufficient. She was blind, had been since birth, but she also never grew- she looked like a 3 month old calf her whole life.
She was a happy cow- or as happy as one of Gods dumbest creatures could be. She would follow you around, she would love all over you, and she ate like a horse. But there was just something wrong with her. She wasn't being raised as a pet, like everything else here she had a purpose, and that was to nourish our bodies. But since she wouldn't have made a good batch of sawmill gravy we kept feeding her, and wasting the feed.

My kids gave me HELL all week- I mean to the point that I was ready to throw in the towel. because if I didn't throw it down, I was liable to make a hangman's noose out of it. I did come to the conclusion that kids should NOT come with instruction manuals- instead they should come with a lifetime supply of Prozac, duct tape and earplugs.

BR's personal truck has been down for a week or so, which means I have been driving him back and forth. not a big deal, its 8 miles, and honestly, its only an hour or two before I wake up anyway.
Its just the aggravation of knowing that we have a vehicle down.

I faced some disappointment and annoyance at the community/family cemetery this week. Every year we have a cemetery working, lunch business meeting etc. and there is a board who runs the cemetery.

Now, I have been going to this since I was old enough to drive. I went a few times before then- I would come with family members, but I have went since I could drive. My family has been buried there since the 1800's. Well, it never fails, there is always something to argue about, most times I am NOT involved in the actual argument, but will try to explain it so everyone will understand, and everyone there that is over 60 will look at me like I am a 5 year old int erupting a prayer meeting. OH and there are usually 2-3 people there that are not eligible for Social Security.

They cant STAND it when I speak up- and will actually ARGUE with me, when I am trying to help THEM prove THEIR point. They don't listen to one another, they simply wait for the noise to stop and start talking. One year one of them actually had the NERVE to say "let the adults figure this out" Well, we were TRYING to explain to the 'adults' that they had written "you must have a DESCENDANT in this cemetery to be buried here" INSTEAD of : "you must have a DIRECT ANCESTOR in this cemetery to be buried here"
or "you must be a DESCENDANT of someone buried here"

I was NOT a happy camper that day to say the least. BUT, still I go back- BR wont. He says he has no use for the whole deal. But not me- I love my family's history, I respect everything my family did to make this country what it is, and to make me who I am, so I am determined to be a part of their eternal resting place. Now to say the President of the board doesn't like me is an understatement. Oh she plays a good game- Most of the time, but I know that I am NOT her favorite person. Which is fine, I mean if everyone loved me and worshiped me, I would never have any fun pissing someone off. Right? -

Well, My Great Aunt asked me if I would accept a nomination for the board. I said I would. It was for the vacancy that Uncle Miles left. We go today, and there are people there I have NEVER seen show up for working, meetings, or even lunch- But I was just thrilled to see more people getting involved. Like I said, I think I am the only person who comes who hasnt had a knee replacement, hip replacement, or has most of my real teeth-

anyway, we went over some old business, some new business, and got it all straitened out. THEN, it came time to vote- My Aunts hand went up, but she was ignored and someone else spoke. They were nominating someone who had just moved back here from the big city. - Because she worked with computers and ... I dont know what all- I will be honest, I dont know who the woman is, If she has ever been out there, I wasnt introduced to her- I know almost everyone that comes to those meetings, and can pretty much tell you who's graves they descend from. Well once I was nominated, our President went right into a speech about how this was NOT a Ralph Cemetery (my mothers family)- BUT there was already 2 of the 5 people on the board that were Ralphs (my grandfather, and his sister)- and how it wouldnt be right for ME to be on there too- Well, A Byerly donated the land- and to be honest, and like I pointed out- there wasnt really anyone that wasnt kin on that board. its a small community, and folks had lots of kids back then. And if her 'speech' wasnt enough, her sister chimed in. Saying how it wasnt fair. Now, dont get me wrong- when everyone showed up that morning, they knew who they were going to vote for. I have no doubt in my mind. BUT, I am NOT happy about being blindsided with this. I dont believe that this speach just come off the top of her head- and I dont honestly think she cares who I am kin to- any other time you have to BEG someone to get on the board- She just honestly didnt want me on it- And thats fine- but say so- dont give me some cockamamie story about 'kin folks'. This board has been ran with Byerly's and Ralphs, and Dubose's all its eternity. and a few fights have broken out that pitted brother against brother and cousin against cousin- More than one family fued has started out there and would still be going on, if the participants were not permanent residents of there now.

And anyone who knows me - OR has ever been to a meeting out there, will know that I am the FIRST one to argue with MY FAMILY about whats going on. I am the one who calls them out when they get descendants and ancestors mixed up. So honestly, I am not sore about loosing by one vote, I know it was all about who showed up to vote for who, not who would have been the better person for the job. And like I said, I dont even know who the woman is- she wasnt there yesterday for me to 'recognize' her. It was a popularity contest and Unfortunately, my popular vote was kinda cut short, my great aunt had fallen the night before and broken her shoulder- and her husband was with her, other family was tending to the food stuff for the funeral, and a cousin got called in to work, 2 family members thought it was 11:30 and not 10:30 and one lady who was voting for me, got the names mixed up- Michelle and Melissa are quite simmular- especially when you dont hear real well.

And I am not really sore about the whole situation- But it was just one more thing in a pretty bad week.

On our way to the funeral home for visitation we happened upon a wreck- I knew both ladies in the wreck, luckily only one suffered some minor injuries- the other was fine but sore I am sure, But it was still quite disturbing-

THEN, we had Uncle Miles' Funeral- once it was over I was supposed to go back to the church and serve. But as the funeral possession passed my house, my truck decided to overheat and start blowing white smoke- SO- I whipped myself up into my driveway and we tried to find the problem. If I am right, and have diagnosed it correctly, (I aint a diesel mechanic by any stretch) I think its the ERG cooler- which is basically like your appendix, except it doesnt have a purpose at all- except to make some EPA lawyer smile for getting one over on you. anyway- its some piece of crap that cools the exhaust with water from my radiator or some such- and has broken. lucky for ME its BEHIND the freakin engine- we are talking - total truck tear down.

This morning BR was going to take himself to work in my truck- and now the dang thing wont even start- not sure what is wrong. But I am thinking I need to find me a preacher and get healing hands laid on it for sure. The dadgum thing is in that 'limbo' of not being paid off, but not being under warranty...
SO, if anyone has an old Ford truck- one with a carburetor, and gas lines, and a normal engine in- that they wanna sell for a few thousand bucks- please let me know-

But this is supposed to be a funny blog, something to make you glad you have a normal life and dont live in THIS house- amongst all the crazy - and so far all I have done is whine and depress you.

So- I refuse to count my sorrows- (I am running out of fingers and toes ) I just thought it might be therapeutic to get them on paper- Instead I am going to count my blessings- Uncle Miles is NOT suffering any more- Faith gave each of us a look into our own souls, not to mention her family showed us that love CAN overcome even the hardest of sorrows- BR's truck is a Toyota- even with a few hundred thousand miles on it, its got life left- we just gotta get the gas to the engine without a sputter- The calf wasnt getting any bigger, but I refused to admit I had screwed up when I got her- all I could see wast ribeue on the hoof.
Noone was seriously injured IN that wreck- And lots of folks stopped at 5pm on a Friday to help people they didnt know (till we got them out, it is a small town after all)- My truck can be fixed, if not, its not the end of the world, God will show me a way- And I am young- I still got LOTS of years of tending the cemetery left in me- including the graves of those who dont like me.

Lets see- my favorite Uncle Miles and Aunt Lynn story- My grandparents had a 'bar' that we ate at- it was about 4 feet high- and every meal except Thanksgiving was served there- so Aunt Lynn and Uncle Miles were visiting, and all weekend he had been showing off his new fangled hearing aids- And EVERYONE was trying to convince my grandfather he needed to get some too- Well, during breakfast that morning, my grandmother asked if anyone needed anything else- Automatically, Aunt Lynn, who for years had the responsibility of repeating everything said to Uncle Miles because he couldnt hear a buffalo fart, leaned over right in his ear and said rather loudly "DORIS ASKED IF YOU NEEDED ANYTHING ELSE" - Forgetting all about those newfangled hearing aids that he had just spent a small fortune on- and Uncle Miles pert near fell off his chair. I think it was another 15 years before my grandmother convinced my grandfather to get hearing aids. AND I just recently found out that when he does wear them, he turns them off when all my kids come around....

and something my kids did this week- OH Rayley cut Bows hair, on THURSDAY! we had funerals, and everything else- Ugggg-- I dont know WHY she cut it, but she did- So we had to put in an emergency call to our beautician- who luckily is also my cousin, and does housecalls...

OH and Bertha Sue, with her pink hair and her prissy walk, and her eyelashes batting came walking into my house the other day- with a BONE- like a leg bone from something- not huge, but a good foot or so long- and told me she wanted to figure out how to carve something out of it, and make a chair with that pelvis that the dogs drug up. That it would fit in her barbie house and then Ken and Barbie would have a 'trophy' room like other big game hunters- so she could pretend they got to go on safari and hunt.

We argued for about 10 minutes, and finally I put my foot down, said "GET IT OUT OF MY HOUSE" and turned around to walk off, her spitting and sputtering about how mean I was and never let her decorate her own barbie house and .... I dont know something about the world coming to an end and I was the cause of it- blah blah blah- (on a side note, I will get it out of her room this week and throw it on the burn pile-)

So, I come on in the living room, and sit down for a little while- Rayley asked if she could eat something, I told her yes, to wash her hand first- Then, I get the remote and start trying to find something- In comes Miss Priss- sandwich in hand and plops herself down in the chair like she has good sense. - I pay her no mind, instead I turn it on "mounted in Alaska" its a show about a taxidermist who does some amazing mounts.

Next thing I know- Pricess Whinesalot says "REALLY? Mounted in Alaska? I AM trying to eat here ya know!" Like this grossed her out-

she had JUST been involved in disposing of a calf- and toting around a bone from God knows what- wanting to pretend its a trophy for her barbie- (who by the way needs a pink gun I was told.....) and she is offended by a show about tanned leather and plaster forms?? Heck, she was just asking me not too long ago how many rabbits it would take to make a fur coat since she has a sewing machine and all....