OH No, you DIDN'T!

Over at www.care.com they are having a contest to see who has the best or worst "Oh NO you DIDN'T" story, I heard about it on twittermoms

Mine are not that good. But I have had a few times that I was shocked by what people have said to me in public about my children.
And I have a few that my own family has said; like my mom telling me how cruel I am because I wont let my 4 year old have a bra.

Or the day she threw a fit because I told my kids not to eat sticky candy or gum, then she let them have it anyway, and off came one of Rayley's caps. When I was told about it, she piped up "it was time for it to come off anyway, just superglue it back on".

And there is the typical "I was never that mean to you, I let you have all the soda's you wanted. You just dont know how to raise children."

But from Strangers:

When Brett and Matt were little, I used to put them in a harness. They were 15 months apart. and honestly, when you have 2 kids that are under 3, you need all the help you can get. And these are sold for kids. I even had many many people stop me and ASK me where to buy one.

So, there was the time I was in McDonalds and had a woman walk up to me, look at my well behaved children; they were about 3 and 2, both wearin their harness' and leashes and say "LADY, If you wanted pets you should have went to an animal shelter"

I just stuttered and asked her what she meant. She said she was refering to my children being on a leash like a dog.

I was a new mom, a young kid (about 26), living in a strange town (BR was doing fiber optics and we were moving around with the work), had NO outside help and a husband who worked 16 hours a day, 7 days a week, there was NEVER a second that I wasnt with my kids. And this was Austin, Texas. A city. I was a country girl. where we leave our doors unlocked, our kids play in the yard and we say "how-do" to strangers.

I was flabergasted.

But, I was able to tell her that they were SOLD for children, and it kept them from climbing on the counters and tearing stuff up, it keeps them out of the highway , and by MY side. I was carrying 4 drinks, 4 bags of food and my wallet. I couldnt have carried or held their hands if my life depended on it. - But her comment still shook me, and embarressed me.

and there was the time that I had Brett and Matt in the cart at walmart. They were about 4 and 5. They had been fighting ALL day. I was BIG pregnant with Rayley and just plumb wore out. I had told them time and again to quit arguing, had threatened to not have Matts birthday party, and various other things. But since we had been in town for HOURS, sitting at a Dr ofice, shopping for groceries, and running erronds, they were not listening. Well, I turned my back to put back a few things for Matts birthday party, and a woman told me "hey lady, your kids are fighting- you should do something about it"
I nicely told her I knew they were fighting, thats what boys do.
"well, I cant belive you'd bring another child into this world when you cant control the two you have"
so I told her, "luckily this ones a girl, and if you think you can keep two boys from fighting, have at it"

With that I returned the things I had pretended to put up to my buggy, told my kids that if they didnt settle down I was going to send them home with that woman and finished my shopping!

They were amazingly good the entire rest of the day, and kept telling me they loved me.

THere have also been the times recently when I was either pregnant with Bow (the year old) or just had him, and have ALL 4 kids in walmart, and someone will walk up and say "are all those YOURS?"
I like to tell them "nope, this is what happens when you are rude to a kid in public, the parent files charges and the judge gives you community service. They make you take kids you dont like to town with you"

I also have gotten a few comments about 'knowing what causes all them babies'. I usually just laugh, cause those dont hurt my feelings, or anger me.
I even joke that I have fiqured it out and there will be NO MORE! or tell them that I quit washing our underwear together.



Now, the worst thing that I think has ever happened was once... (and I never even told my husband this....) when Brett was JUST walking, I was in the front yard. We lived in the country, but in a neighborhood. We had like 5 acres and our neighbor had 20, another had 12. there were homes directly across the street. I could have chunked a rock and hit any of the 6 of them, but we had land.

We didnt have a front yard fence. All our fencing was in the back, where the animals were. But I wanted to work on my flowerbeds. It was coming up on spring, and it was just so pretty out. I had already been using the harness on him in town, to give him some freedom, and I decided to get out the old dog run thing that we had for when we first moved there and hadnt built a fence yet for our pot bellied pig and Bull Mastiff. It was a plastic covered cable, completly safe.

Our house was maybe 60 feet from a pretty busy farm to market road. So, I took Brett out, put the spike in the ground and tied his harness to the 20 foot run. Just close enough that he couldnt get INTO the flowerbed and eat a poisonus Azalla. or into the cactus garden and get stuck. I gave him some toys, and started weeding.

We did this for a while, and I realized that it was time to hang out clothes. So I took his lead and we went to the back to the clothes line. I tied him back there, put out the laundry and we came back up front.

I had JUST finish tying him back, and was running in a circle letting him chase me on his fat little legs. HE was squealing and I was laughing. I even would fall down a few times and let him 'catch' me. There was nothing for him to tangle up in. About that time a car drove by, and she hollered something out her window. I looked up, but didnt reconize the car, or the kid bouncing around in the back seat.

He started to play with a truck in the rocky gravel , so I went back to weeding and transplanting cuttings from my roses. Brett had gotten bored with his truck, so he was throwing a plastic baseball at me. I would throw it back and he would chase it.

Then all of a sudden, in screached this car, slamming on the brakes with a kid bouncing off the back seat. luckily Brett was no longer playing in the driveway with his truck. She proceeded to tell me that she was calling CPS on me because I was torturing my child, and how cruel I was, then turned around, told her kid to sit back down (she was picking herself up out of the floor board from the sudden stop) and went about telling me what an awful person I was.

I stood up, and started walking towards her and I forgot about the shovel in my hand. She decided at this point she had spoken her mind and proceeded to slam her car in reverse, and haul butt out of my driveway, the child bouncing and ricocheting all over the car.

I was LIVID. And for a second thought about jerking up my child, who was on the ground eating grass and playing in the dirt, burning the tie out and swearing I had been cleaning house all day when the cops came. Then I realized. I had done NOTHING wrong. I was keeping my child SAFE. playing with him outdoors and welcomed the police to inspect me.

I have done alot of things as a parent that might not be the 'norm' but always with my kids best intrests in mind. Could I have put him down for a nap and then came out and weeded my garden? yes. Could I have found a daycare to keep my child while I played outside on my own? yes. But instead I brought my kid out.

Its just probably a good thing she never saw the half of a 55 gallon drum I used to put the kids in when I was feeding the horses and goats.

Now, I know that there are worse ones out there. But this was kinda fun. So, please comment on my post. Cause if you dont, I dont even stand a chance at winning, thats the contest, you have to have the most blog comments!


Also, I have a code for 15% off a Care.com subscription just enter the code: TWMOMS

I forgot what I was going to say

hey everyone!

Not been alot going on around here. Just normal catch up stuff. I did get the house spotless the other day. I even cleaned out my bathroom and bedroom. I rearranged my stockpile of toilet paper, toothpaste and shampoo's in the tub. (I ran out of room in the one cabinet I have in the bathroom for these things)

Since this is all stuff I get for really cheap or free using coupons, I like to stockpile it. That way, I dont run out and have to pay 4.00 for a tube of toothpaste that would have cost me .25 if I had bought it on sale and with a coupon.

Anyway, I have been just throwing it in the tub. So I decided to stack it neatly and see what all I had. Making it easier to get, and BR less likely to say something about it taking up the bathtub..

That night BR came home. He didnt say a word about the house being clean, all the clothes off the bathroom and bedroom floor, or even the fact that it no longer looked like a shelf had fallen half hazardly into the tub. Which truthfully hurts my feelings. Of course he doesnt really say alot when the house looks like a toxic waste dump, or that we have had a huricanne hit it inside either. So, I guess I am lucky.
Instead he came out and said
"I was thinking about the bathtub. And I have a question for you" OH crap... here we go.. I have actually been waiting on this for a while now...
"THREE"
"what?"
"THREE! I have gotten THREE baths since we bought the house." Cause I fiqured he was going to mention the fact that the garden tub was STILL unusable. He has never said a word. Cause he only takes showers. BUT truthfully, him not using something, but seeing me using it wrong has never stopped him from saying something before.

And there is a stand alone shower in the bathroom. I use it. I just never have time to run bathwater and take a bath.

Then he said "no. thats not what I meant."

"oh. okay, what was your question then?"
"how would you feel if we took the bathtub OUT of the bathroom..." So, I can get shelves?? PLEASE???
"... and take the washer and dryer out of the laundry room..." .. which is just a glorified closet with a backdoor that we have never used....
"and putting the washer and dryer in the bathroom, and another freezer in the laundry room....." so now I am thinking... I have to go through the bedroom to put stuff in the washer.. but its closer to my closet. and he DOES work days now...
"...there would be enough room for hampers in there... " REALLY? REAL HAMPERS? NOT the 18 baskets that I have now?? WOW!!
"....and you could have shelves in the old laundry room/ new pantry for all your stockpile crap"

OKAY! I am ON board with this.

BUT, in the new room remodel that we have been saving for, there is a 15 ft by 10 ft laundry room/pantry. So, do I really want to do that? take away my bathtub, that I might get to use in 18 years, and put my washer and dryer in there? Then what will I put in the new pantry? Shelves comes to mind. a second fridge, and at least one freezer. Maybe more.

I am seeing this as a good thing. I mean the kids have a tub/shower if I ever decide that I have the time to lay back and relax. Its not a garden tub like mine, but even its not that big.

and since I really did have something to blog about, BUT forgot it about the time the page loaded to start typing. I am going to give you another installment of 'how you got here'



kids cavities

Yep. They get them...

dentist started drilling
They do that.

muscidines
Ummmm good. I am down to 2 jars of jelly. Need to make more..

anything less would be uncivilized

around here, everything is uncivilized

pink bouncy ball lucky bags
Purple spin tops marble bags .... :shrug:


1-800-300-5293

I'm with ya.. not sure where we are calling, but go for it.

what animal uses its tounge to drill holes in clam shells?

I am NOT sure, but I am pretty sure I havent ever talked about it. oh wait. Certain fishes drill holes in snail shells. loaches I belive. I had some once. trying to get rid of the trumpet snails I have. It didnt work.


orthadonics

ugggghhhh. Dont even say that word!


licks hurt principal

DUH, they are supposed to!

bouncy chicken easter

Usually, if chicken bounces, it really isnt good to eat. means you cooked it to long,and it will taste rubbery.
Good luck though. Maybe if you cut it up real small, mix it with the easter eggs and make chicken salad...

snappy volcano titles

I am pretty sure they have all been named already. BUT, if not, I have a kid I'd like to name one after. Talk about nasty explosions....

100, 101, 102, 103,

104, 105, 106 were you googiling to make sure you had them in the right order? Tsk Tsk.. you shouldnt do your homework off the net...


peg hole hair pin
leg, milk, bald, broach!


sleep nap baby

googiling wont make it so...

mamma always said life was like a bow of chocolates

dang.. I will NEVER live down using this line in a post... oh and you got a typo.

my mom always said life is like a box of forrest gump

Nope, its a box of chocolates.. not a box of Forrest.


the disease. you are the cure

Hmmm.. Axel says:
If you got the money, honey
We got your disease
..........
You know where you are?
You're in the jungle baby.
but there is nothing about a cure there...

Maybe social Disease.. by Bon Jovi?

......Because love is a social disease ....
.....Now you know for sure, you know the cure....

Naw... got to be Welcome to the Jungle.
Good song, Good albulm.. Gosh I am getting old.



how much can i get for selling prozac

I'd say at least 5 to 10. But your state may be more lax. Depending on if you are in a school zone or not. Any priors? that might up the time..


how to make a snake trap
put out chicks in a cage. They will come. eat them all and not be able to get out of the cage. its like shooting fish in a barrel.


bats battery and biceps

These words are connected how? Maybe you were looking for B words? Ball, Beef, Bratworst, brain, buck.


hooked up like a sugar mill mule
We usually say "Bowed up like a Sugar Mill Mule" but....


needless facts
WHOO-HOO you found them! :)


snak trap for children
Did you mean SnaCk? okay, you get a box, and a stick and a string. put in some chocolate, run the string to a good hiding place, and then when the kid climbs in you..... oh wait.. could CPS find this as cruel? trapping kids? hmmmm.... forget I said anything.



nurse legs between her

I am thinking I dont WANT to be in this search anymore...


musciedines

Dang.. did I mispell it THAT badly?


asleep yet

NO, they aint. and its DRIVIN ME NUTS!


toys in babyland

I think a cuter title would have been Toys in Bratland...


leaky pissy panties

Hmmm thats not good. Can I recommend some good absorbant pads??


brett feild
Really? there is one? wonder if I can get a sign for his room?


elemetery school ar test.com
this is great program. if your kids will read the books that qualify.. mine wont..


1 2 3 ... 99 100 101=
Did you really google the entire numrical list? the ones I see are in the correct order. you should get an A+


mamma always said life was like a bow
Nope, its BOX. of CHOCOLATES. I am thinking about deleting that post..


dirt devil m087300

Not sure if its any good or not. But I have blown up a few dirt devils in my time. BR says it cause you are supposed to use them DAILY, not once a month. He says NOTHING could handle it once a month...



Are you still humming Welcome to the Jungle?

Our new war cry

For a while now, there has been 4 words spoken quite often in this house.
Usually with a pleading voice, sometimes with a angry voice, but always with heartfelt need.

Sometimes the tense of the first few words change.
Sometimes its preceeded by please, or WILL YOU PLEASE, and there are times when a socially unacceptable word has been thrown into the middle of it.

I hear it all day.
And I have been known to say it a time or two.

I heard it for the first time today, early this morning.
the 3 eldest kids were gone. and BR was in the shower.
Then I hear
"MICHELLE!" and this now infamous line follows.

I went in, on the floor was a very nasty diaper, and behind the shower door was BR, attempting to bathe, holding a smiling and happy Bow. Who, when I put my hands out to take him, reached out and pulled the door shut.

I picked up the diaper and threw it away, then went back and got a very unhappy Bow. He wanted to stay in the shower.

Then he said it again when he was trying to close the fridge door while making breakfast, with his hands full and Bows head stuck in it.

Since the kids were gone for a while, I really didnt hear it much. Till they got home.

They were not here 5 minutes and Rayley said it.
Bow was opening the door (it doesnt latch when you push it to. We blame that on Rayley, but truthfully, BR is the one that broke it. Not sure if I have blogged about that or not. I'll have to check. I know I wasnt allowed to speak of it for a while. Because I was threatened with bodily harm if I happened to smile or display any mirth while retelling the story)
So, anyway, Bow just walked over, stuck his fingers in there and pulled it open. Usually this is followed by him opening the door and going out on the porch, so its a NO-NO. So Drama Queen that she is, Rayley started screaching, in her VERY southern drawl, the cry of need.

She is one that adds a few words to it.

Then, the kids went outside. they came back in a few minutes later. WIth Brett DEMANDING. He spoke the sentence, like someone was going to jump over hoops to accomedate him. Cause Bow was interupting their play.

I heard it when Rayley went to the bathroom and Bow was unwinding toilet paper.

and BR said it to noone in particular about the 8th time I picked Bow up, walked out of the kitchen with him and set him down in the living room, while I was cooking supper.

I heard it from each of the three oldest when they were taking baths-- They of course would leave the door open, pretty much inviting trouble. Not that he cant open the doors now. Because he can, and does. And before you become shocked that a year old kid can open a door. Dont be. All the interior doors are those handicapped handles. not a nob, just a handle you pull down. So, he has become adept at standing on tiptoe, and pulling them down.

Now, that the kids are in bed, I have hear the cry of futility from each. Simply because Bow wants in there with them. And they usually will not rat him out. They see it as a way to stay awake for a little while longer. But since they are all mad at me for sending them to bed, at their bedtime no-less. And not letting them stay up and watch another Dinosaur movie.

There were a few other instances. when the UNO cards got spilled, When someone was at the kitchen table eating an apple and he was climbing on top, When I asked for some help in getting the socks sorted (2 FULL baskets FULL of socks... ) and he insisted on attempting to get IN the baskets and throw the socks, when they were trying to play with Bows toys (hmmmm) and didnt want him down there, and.....

If I had to count the times, in a normal day that I hear these same words repeated (with a few changes-depending on who is saying them) no less than 25 times a day.

I can honestly say I get tired of hearing "COME GIT THIS BAAY-BEE"
or as Rayley says it "WILL SOMEONE come GIT this BAAY-BEE?" with a foot stomp and a hand on hip usually added.

and for BR its usually "Someone go get that baby"

Not "someone help me with Bow" or "someone please entertain Bow" he is "THAT BABY," or "THIS BABY" Like there is a second, more well behaved baby in there who is not annoying anyone.

The phrase that runs a close second in me hearing it constantly is "cant you do something with this baby?"

I dont know why they think I can hold him down. make him sit or stay when he doesnt want to, or make him leave them alone.

I have to deal with him while I am in the shower, I have to pee with him right there, I step over him to cook, clean, and do laundry, and although I am not above pleading with someone to relieve me of him at times, I cant get him out of my hair any easier than they can.

Just tonight I have been told by each of my lovely children "Just get him to sleep"
RIGHT. like I can snap my fingers and he will start to snore. If I could do that I would keep my legs shaved, hair washed, coupons clipped and sorted, laundry done, dishes washed, and floor vaccumed. Not to mention make myself a little less crazy.

He is not doing as they wish, so they want me to turn him off. Well, I am sorry. Unlike the dogs, who I can throw out the door, The cat, who I can look at sideways and she hides, and the toys, which I can burn; like them, I cant make him stay put, sleep at the drop of a hat, or find his batteries and turn him off.


there are time I wish I could.
BUT, it aint gona happen.
I just hope his first words aint "Darn Baby" and that he doesnt get a complex from everyone calling them "THIS" or "THAT".