I quit smoking on March 22, 2011 with Electronic Cigarettes

Friday, November 21, 2008

A conversation with a Drama Queen.

Rayley came and got in my lap this evening
I cant make this stuff up..

"is Day-Day still in heaven?"
"Yes ma'am"
"How the hell did she get up there? to heaven I mean."
trying to hold back a giggle I said "God came and got her, then took her up there"
"bones and all?"
"no, he left her body, he just took her spirit and her love."
"well that would suck, you couldnt walk, or hug, or talk, or kiss the dogs"
"God gave her a new body when she got up there"
"When I grow up I am gona miss you"
"I'll miss you too, where you goin?"
"to alaska silly"
"ohhhhh for what?"
"to live there. so you cant make me clean my room no more"
"ohhhh... so who will clean your room and your house?"
"it wont be my kids.. I will never make them clean their rooms"
"hmmmmmm, can I get that in writing?"
"I sure wish I could live close to you"
"you can"
"me and my daughter. I will tell her about you though."
"yep, tell her that your name is Chelle, and that you have blonde hair, and that your pretty"
"awww thank you"
"will you still be pretty tomorrow?"
"I dont know. why?"
"cause, everyone says I look like you and I want to be pretty tomorrow"
"but I dont"
"dont what?"
"dont look like you"
"you reckon?"
"well, I aint got boobs yet, and my butt isnt that big"
"you will and it will be"
"did you look like me when you were 4?
"yes I did"
"was your hair like mine?"
"yes it was"
"its still like mine"
"yes, we both have blonde hair"
"how many are you?"
"shoot rayley, I dont know.. 33?"
"ahhhh, yep, thats what daddy said the other yesterday on your birthday"
"yep. I just turned 33"
"did it hurt?"
"did what hurt?"
"getting old"
"no, it went to quick to hurt"
"like a bandaide?"
"but why are you so mean?"
"how am I mean?"
"you make us clean, and you make us mind"
"thats teaching you respect, and love and responsibility"
"and its showing us that you dont love us"
"of course I love you"
"but you really dont. I know you dont. You just say that"
"why would I say that? your my babies, I love all of y'all"
"thats not what I was told"
"by who?"
"its a secret, "
"you shouldnt keep secrets from me"
"thats what she said you would say, but its okay if me and her have them"
"you and who?"
"okay, dont tell me your secrets, but tell me what y'all talk about"
"just how mean you are"
"she tells you this?"
"yep. and that you are so busy, and with all of us you ahve a hard time loving us all"
"but I dont. I love each adn every one of you"
"yeah.. but not like she does"
"she who?"
"silly mom, my other mom"
"you dont have another mom"
"well we pretend I do. and a grandmother is like a mom"
"no. a grandmother isnt like a mom, a grandmother is like an aunt. you mind them when you are with them, but you still go by my rules, and you still answer to me"
"not if its a pinkie promise"
"Rayley, one day we will get this straitend out, but, for now, I love you with all my heart. You are MY daughter and I dont hate you"
"I think I am gona name her after that woman with the strechy arms that saves baby Jack"
"my daughter silly.."
"oh... what are you gona name her?"
"you know, allls... elll.. what ws her name?"
"Baby I dont know"
"it sounded like ALaska"
"ohhh elastia girl from the incredablies?"
"YEP! Thats it!"
"and a boy, I will name him Bowdrie"
"but we have a bowdrie"
"yep, and then my bowdrie and your bowdrie will be friends."
"but Bow will be grown before you have kids"
"oh.. then he can come and babysit"
"hmmmmmm, think that will work?"
"if you raise him better than you did them other two"
"well its true. They are just plain awful"
"what about you?"
"I am pretty good"
"ya reckin?"
"I reckon"
"how old do I have to be before I am a boy?"
"you will never be a boy"
"you said I was"
"you said 'I am gona cut your hair plumb to your scalp like them dang boys if'n you dont quit cuttin it'"
"that wont turn you INTO a boy, that will just make you LOOK like a boy"
"ahhhh good."
"you dont wana be a silly ole boy?"
"nope. they cant sit down when they pee, and that just seems stupid, its shaped like a chair, may as well use it"
*snicker* "I agree"

Then she started playing iwth my hair. and mumbiling. Then I hear:

"when I grow up I am gona buy my boy a fence to put him in."
"like you would a dog?"
"no, like to play"
"ahhh okay."
"maybe I am gona have more than one boy"
"thats what I thought..."
"I think I want 14 boys, all running around my house. Yep I want 14."
"You dont even like your brothers, why would you want 14 boys running around your house?"
"well they would be good boys. Not like the kind you have"

"and if they wanted like 2 snacks a day, I'd let them have them."

all the while she is playing with my hair.
and she got loud enough that she woke up Bow, who was sleeping on the end of the couch.
So he came crawling over. trying to squeeze under my arms.
She said
"Bow's done woke up, maybe you should get him back to sleep, so we can continue our inteligent conversation."
so out of my lap she went and got beside me, Bow laid down. And she started making all sorts of wierd noises. humming, talking, kicking and telling me what she ould do if she was in some movie.

This kid does not afford people many dull moments.

"so Rayley what ya gona name your kids?, All 14 boys?"
"hmmm.... I dont know... I am gona name them.... I dont know... can you fiqure it out?"
"no. who's gona be your husband"
"hmmm Marty, Alex, Austin Powers, ... "
"thats who you are gona marry?"
"noooo, thats the kids names..."
"so, who you gona marry?"
"I dont remember that guys name that you hate"
"why you gona marry someone I hate?"
"I dont know who I am gona marry, I just dont know no guys.. Just BR, and BRett, and Matt and Bowdrie--- And I dont liek my brothers enough to marry them..."

"Rayley you are just too much"
"can you scratch my back?"
"I guess, but the baby is almost asleep"
"well dont scratch him then, you'll wake him up"

"hey mom, can we pretend that I just woke up from a bednight and its cereal time?"
"how come I see you sometimes in here after we all go to bed, and its dark, and you are eating cereal?"
"cause, I am so busy in the mornings that I dont get to eat it then, so I eat it late at night"
"ohhhh, maybe I should get busy in the mornings"
"sweetie, you aint gona get cereal expect for in the mornings."
"can I go to marmies?"
"cause she doesnt make me go by your stupid rules, I dont have to clean, the boys do though, and I can eat cereal anytime I want, and she lvoes me."
"yep, sounds like it. it really sounds like it"

At this point BR called. and I was glad when she wanted to talk to him. Then she got down and ran off to play with her brothers. No wonder she thinks I hate her.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

well, make my day....

Okay, Today was the funeral. I got up, got the kids dressed and got dressed myself. I was already feeling a little crappy about myself. The skirt and shirt I was wearing were not quite fitting as they should or rather the skirt didnt. it was all I could do to suck it in and get it buttoned.

Now, to understand this you would have to know. For MANY MANY years I was little. I was 5 ft 2, and had the 'perfect' measurements. I had a nice body. There were times when I was too skinny. when I would have to wear size 12 in little girls, cause 0's were too hard to find. I wasnt really happy with my weight at that time, but was content. I would get back up to 105 pounds. Wear a 3 and feel pretty good. I did have to work to maintain the weight. I tend to loose if I am not careful. But never had to excersize. I never had a 6 pack abs stomache. But that cute little pouchy one as BR called it. Not muffin top puochy, just not hard as a rock.

Then I got pregnant with Brett. I gained 73 pounds in less than 5 months. I was a little underweight when I became pregnant, but went into the hospital weighing 166 pounds. I left weighing 160. He weighed 6.

My Dr had been on me for a while about gaining all that weight. But with out diet or excersize, I shocked him at my 6 week check up. I was back down to 110. I looked great, I felt great. Honestly, it just fell off.

Then I got knocked up again. 25 pounds this time. well before my 6 week check up I had lost the 20 pounds that was not Matt. (he weighed 5 pounds 14oz)

Again I was back in my old clothes. Then along comes the shock of another pregnancy 4 years later. about 25-30 pounds. She was born in June. the 21st. By the time school started in August I was back down in my 3's. I looked REALLY good.

Things happened, stress came, and I lost down to about 98 pounds.
Then I got a job. I gained 23 pounds in about a month. I decided to loose about 5 pounds and did. Right around 115-118 and I am happy. Actually I was THRILLED. I was REALLY looking good.
I could wear anything and looked great in it. I did have a slight problem with the gut. C sections do that to you. I dont know why, but they do. But I decided for the first time in my life to excersize. I was doing 200 sit ups a day.

Well thats not true. In High School I did weight lifting. that was excersize. And I used to have a farm. Throwing 50 lb bails of hay and throwing down 100 pound goats on a daily basis is excersize.

Then I got knocked again. I gained about 30 pounds. I still havent lost it all. a year later. I am down to close to my target of 120. Of course I dont excersize. I dont diet. I did do sit ups for a while. But realized they were doing NOTHING. these C sections literly screwed me up bad. So, I am constatnly trying to hide my gut.

Well, this skirt was so tight I could barely breath. BUT, I had to wear it. LOL I am not totally down on everything, but the gut is my hated spot. I despise it. I am happy with my weight. and dont want to loose any. I just want the gut to go away. badly.

BR got home around 8:30. We had to leave by 9. He had to have a shower.
Once I got everyone dressed, reironed his shirt (I really should buy a board. I iron everything on top of the washer.. not easy. Especially with a 3X shirt.)

And I told BR we had to leave, I had to get some panty hose. of course I got the typical stupid questions
"you were just in town, you didnt realize you NEEDED them?"
"You are a woman, how do you NOT have panty hose?"
"Do you really have to have them? alot of women dont wear them nowdays"
"what is your aversion to shaving your legs?"
"do you REALLY think a convience store will have panty hose?"

They went on and on, but you get the jist.

SO we are driving down the road, we have to drive a ways to get there, and a truck pulls out in front of us. So we had to slow down. BR says "well, I want you to look at this Dumb SOB"
"sorry babe. But its your parents.... "
"I know. Amazing isnt it?"
and from the backseat
"gee, they must know that dad is driving, even pawpaw aint stupid enough to pull out in front of mom. She says she is an equal oppertunity rammer.
We were in a hurry. I told BR, "where is the next passing zone? cause we have to get there"
It was coming up and so we blew by them. Stupid stupid stupid.

As we were driving along and I was finally getting used to having a cinch around my waiste cutting off all feeling to my extrimities. and I sneezed. Then I heard a pop. YEP. damn button. Luckily the zipper is a good one. My grandmother was a great seamstress (oh she made this suit for my mom about 10 years ago. My mom is 5 ft 8. )

Anyway, we gt to the store and I run in. I looked all over. then I asked. the girl goes and looks. There is ONE pair of NUDE knee highs.
I was wearing a black suit and multicolored (browns and blacks, and mauves) jacket, it came to my knees.

I got them, hopeing they were made for a really tall woman.

They wernt. So we went on to the grocery store. I ran in. Of course its old people time. So I had to wait behind all these people buying groceries and chatting wiht the cashier. Who was old as dirt herself.

It was 9:34. I had to be there by 10.

Finally I check out. Run out to the truck and get the hose on while BR drives.
We got there, it was already packed. ANd all the kids got out and in we went.

There was a seat beside my inlaws and so I sent the boys up there. The pew behind them had 2 seats so BR and I sat with Bow in my lap and Rayley in his. or visa versa. it flipped so many times I lost count.
This was at 9:43. I know cause my SIL was texting me. She was running late and letting me know where she was and needing to know where to turn and such. (yes it was on vibrate).

By 9:52 I was wore out. Bow wanted down. He wanted to play. He was playing iwt BR's Cowboy hat, he was taking the band off, he was kicking off his boots, he was squealing like a ... I dont know what. But he was enjoying it. He was wanting to flip. (he puts his body on your lap, head at your knees, and throws his feet over his head while you hold his hands. Rayley used to do this too) But there was no room. I finally got up at 9:57 and walked into the hallway. The pallbearers were coming in.

I took him into the hall and saw the late sister in law. She was taking her 6 year old to the bathroom. Then she had to go into a side room cause it was filled in the chapel.

Bow was pretty good as long as I was holding him and walking. for about 5 minutes. So I went outside with him. There was no room in the funeral home to take him. Every one of them had a group of people sitting in there.

So outside we went. I let him walk around. That was all he wanted. to get down and play. I let him. Well there was still a funeral home worker out there. He walked up adn was talking to us. It was hot out there. like 77*. and I was in black, with a big old Jacket thing on. that is lined. and VERY thick. liek made of tapestry.

But I was polite. and I chatted. while chasing my brat on the side of the street. or runing between all the parked cars. There is NOT a car at that funeral that doesnt have a Bow handprint on it.

Mr. Talkative was real nice. and even offered me a tombstone to sit on (the ones they have in front for advertisement. not SOMEONE's....) I told him no, I was fine. That I would have to chase the kid anyway.
"well, rest your feet if you can, maybe you can wrangle up someone to help you watch him for a while. give you a rest."

I just smiled. said I wouldnt ask someone to leave a service to take care of him. that would be rude, he was my responsibility.

I picked him up a few times, and he would squeal and throw himself backwards to get back down. The guy I am chatting with. I would put him at about 38, finally says... and I am NOT kidding.
"well shoot granny, he just wants down to play."

Now I thought I didnt hear him just right. so I went on. I started to follow bow through the cars and he kept talking.

Then not just ONCE more but TWICE more, he in some way refered to me as Granny.

He even showed me where everyone would be coming out and told me to sit on the bench to 'rest myself' before that pretty sister of his came out and really ran me ragged. And he said 'she is about 4 or 5 right?' I told him she is 4.

Now, Its not like I wasnt already kinda pissy cause I had lost my youthful fiqure. or at least my youthful waste. I sure miss that waiste....
BUT this guy is calling me GRANNY! I tried to do the math. for ME to have a year old grandson and a 4 year old granddaughter, I would have to have had a kid at 14 and my kid would have had to have one at 14. This IS possible. and to be fair, I was in Tyler County, BUT, damn.

The more I thought about it, the more I was laughing. I tried to get mad. seriously. but it was just so rediculus. Plus I knew my dear and loving husband would tell me what an idiot dumb guy was as soon as I told him.

So when he came out I did tell him.
"hhhmmpppp, its that frumpy coat thing. You should have worn that little black dress you have. "
"its a flippin funeral!!"
"so. its just as long as that one. just tighter. "


And since my kids overheard me telling BR, and so did a sister in law, who proceeded to tell everyone else, they are now calling me granny.

They better stop. or I will find a few more walls for them to scrub....

I did miss the entire funeral. BR said it was really nice. He said he did pretty good, till a gospel song by Allen Jackson came on. He said it was one of the most beautiful songs he had ever heard. Dancing with Angels or something. Thats where he lost it.
Rayley was good the whole time he said. and the boys were too.

HE took over Bow duty at the cemetary, so I could pray there. Bow had a blast. There were leaves all over and he was loving playin in them. And running in the sunshine.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

I am raising heathens..

Okay, I promised to spill the beans on my children.
But first.

My sister in law, ( I have talked about her before, ) Amanda's mom has been real sick. Amanda and Luke have taken my kids all their lives, and naturaly she has taken my children to see her mom. And Daisy just loved them. Well, she has had a bad heart for years. And lately has been in and out of the hospital. for about a month. A few weeks ago they almost lost her, and then she improved. Well, while in the hospital she asked for my kids to cme and see her. So as soon as she came home Amanda came and got them. They went over and played, helped in the yard, and visited. They came home and had really enjoyed themselves. Amanda said that Daisy just lit up when she saw them. She does have grandchildren, but has always treated my children as her own.

well shortly after that weekend she was admited back into the hospital. She has been getting worse and worse. She died on Monday night. I didnt tell the kids until last night. I didnt want them dwelling on it in school. Tonight was visitation, and I broke the news to Rayley today and thought she took it pretty well. She asked why she died, and I explained that she was very sick. And in her unequivical belief in GOd and Heaven she was fine wiht it. But I knew the finality of it hadnt set in. She told me stories all day about times she had spent with 'day day' as they called her.

When I told the boys they cried, but did bounce back pretty quickly. they talked about her and how much fun they always had. But tonight, once we left the funeral home it hit them. they were pretty well behaived while we were there. And I spent all night being told stories about them from Amanda's family. they are quite popular. It also seemed that everyone in town had seen them with Amanda at one time or another through the years. (they live in the next town over, and I dont go there often). And I think the whole town was at visitation.

But once we got in the truck, and were about half way home (its a good 35-40 minute ride) it dawned on them. And the water works started. I cant take the pain away. and honestly dont want to. I hope they did understand that in the end we wernt praying for God to save her. We were praying for God to do the best thing. Her death was alot like my grandmothers. and I am not ashamed to say that in the end I was actually glad that God had called her home. Its been a little over 4 years, and I still pick up the phone to call her, but I know that she wasnt living. She was existing. And as much as I want her here, to love my kids, to continue to teach me, I wouldnt bring her back as she was, if it was in my power. I know Amanda feels the same way. I just dont quite know if I managed to get it across to the kids.

I might need to call my cousin who is a preacher and get him to help me wiht the spiritual side of it. they have had a range of emotions. everything from complete despair, to asking why God would do this, to talking about who all she is seeing now that she is in Heaven.

The service is tomorrow. and BR is taking off to go. Matter of fact, everyone in our family is going. We are not the type of family that has lunch with all the inlaws once a month, but we do speak when we see them in the grocery store, pray for them when they are ill, and offer a helping hand if they need it.
But we are not going for Daisy. We are going for Amanda. She is ours, and she is hurting. Thats just how we do it. But I reckon thats how everyone does it.

We did get tickled tonight. Well today. Rayley picked out the plant that we sent. BUT wouldnt let the florist have it delivered. SHE was taking IT to HER Aunt 'manda. So we did. Well, I was looking at all the beautiful sprays, and pot plants, and flowers. And I came across the one my sister in law (BR's sister) adn MIL had gotten together.
First of all Amanda and Luke just bought a house. It was a camp house. One bedroom, kitchen and living room are together and you couldnt swing a good sized cat in there with out knocking out a light.
This plant is bigger than me. its taller (I am 5 ft 2. ) and it would take 3 of us to hold hands around it and not touch its leaves.
When I saw it I went and got Amanda and had to show it to her. You talk about cackiling and carrying on. She just kept asking where she was going to put it. and its NOT like any of us have a big house. But of all of us, Amanda and LUke do have the smallest.

The good news is, Luke wants to redecorate in camoflauge, they have a really nice couch made out of camo material (hunting, not army) that he wants, and he has aquired some beautiful prints from the NWTF and NRA banquets. he wants it to look very rustic. So this will fit right in. He can hide behind it.
or in it.

Now. On to the tale of my very own McGuiver children...

As I have posted before, they tend to play alot on the bus. There are other kids their age, boys, and I dont know these kids. It could be kids I wouldnt even allow them to play with if I was inclined to allow mine to have playdates.

Now there has been lots of crap that I have just ignored. Brett getting cut by a 5th grader that used a broken pencil sharpener. Matt getting punched in the gut. them being called names, them getting in trouble cause kids are calling US names and they get mad and holler and jump up. Well our kids love us, (sometimes) and want to take up for us. even when its names that in no way would describe us. LOL

but none of that matters. mostly.

This all started a week ago last thursday. around 8:45 am the phone rang. It was the school. The assistant principal was breathless and obviously upset. She said "Michelle, can you and Billy come to the school? We need to see you imediatly"
"yes, we can. Whats wrong?"
"we just need to see you. Your kids have made a bomb."

well, there was a fleeting moment when I saw a Uhaul truck and horse shit falling out. Then I realized. My kids are morons. They couldnt pour water out of a boot with the instructions on the heel.
So, BR asks me what in the world is going on. He was falling asleep since he had been out at work ALL night. I told him.
"are you serious?"
I wont repeat the rest of his comments, but needless to say he was NOT thrilled.

So, we arrive at the school and are set down in the foyer. Matt comes through a little while later. So we pulled him over to us. He tells us a little. and across the room we see cops.
Matt is scared, and saying he had been in a room by himself with just a teacher all morning. And being questioned. So he sat down with us, played with Bow and Rayley and do you know that NOT ONCE did anyone come looking for him. He had asked to go to the bathroom and just never showed back up for class. we were out there for 45 minutes.
Finally they came and got us. he went back to solitary confinement.
We were introduced to both principals (whom I already know. Since I am one of just a few people in the PTA) and the Interm superentendant. And his replacement who had been hired the day before, and the police officer that is stationed at the High School. And a Lt with the City Police, AND the Chief of Police.
I found Bows toys (we were in the room where we do all our PTA stuff) and set him and Rayley down to play. they are familier with the surroundings and have spent many an hour in there, so there was no problems and we got down to buisiness.

This is what I gleened from the things we were told. Brett, Matt and a another boy had discussed making a bomb. And Brett had explained what needed to be put in one. Kids overheard this and told their principals about it this morning. Those principals had called ours. So, they were called into the office.

And Matt sang like a canary. He said that yes they had discussed it. And that although he had only been a small part of it, he had reminded them that in addition to the canister, batteries, and toilet paper, they would need gun powder to make it have the pretty colors like fireworks have.

So here I jumped in. I asked if it was just my boys. NO. there was another boy.
They went on to tell me that when asked about the 'bomb' the boys had said that they were going to play with it this weekend. playing army. and that when asked if they had the bomb they were told that yes. it was in Bretts backpack.

I asked what it was made of.
an axe canister. that was cut wiht bolt cutter or side cutters or something. I stopped them and said that we dont have any such thing here. For one, my kids are not old enough for that sort of thing. for 2 it stinks to high heaven, and 3. the smell of it gives me a miagraine.
and I had to ask "it didnt blow up when they punctured it?" Cause, I have always been under the impression that if you punctured an aresol can it would blow up. It says so right on the can. And I watched a full can of Kenra hairspray shoot about 100 feet out of my burning home (and that HURT, that crap is EXPENSIVE!). It was amazing. it shot THROUGH a wall. or a few walls. there was at least two it had to go through, and thats if it made it through the doorway OUT of the bathroom. if not, it was 3. Plus, I have had the misfortune to have someone put the occasional can in my burn trash, and they are LOUD when they pop. and even become airborne when empty. which my kids have also seen. I reckon I tend to shelter them from the wrong things. maybe I shouldnt let them see me dispose of trash either....
Then they said it had batteries in it.
"rechargable?" No.. disposable. well, I dont own any of those.
and paper. that COULD be mine. or the kids. or who evers.
SO why did Brett have it? well the other kid had brought it all in and didnt have his backpack. Brett did. He hadnt had ANY of the ingrediants, but the MORON had the finished product IN his bag. My little mule...

I explained to them that my kids DONT do playdates. PERIOD. I dont like other kids. at all. I have 4 of them. they are thier own playdates.

Then they asked me if my kids had access to gun powder. We said no. We dont have any. They brought up accelerants. Again. none here. we use rich lighter pine to start fires. (its a old pine tree stump that has died, and the sap is in the wood and its highly flamable. you stick a match to it and it will catch on fire. VERY nice, no paper to roll up, no lighter fluid, nothing.) They wanted to know what kind of video games they played. none. honestly. they dont. They play real life games. But I will admit they do have a few GI joes. and army men, and cowboys and indians, and lots of other typical toys that kid have had for hundreds of years.

And of course they asked about bullies, changes at home. told us we might need to concider counciling. Asked if there was anything bad going on that would prompt them to want to basicly have a mass killing. We said no. they are just normal boys who love fireworks, play in the woods, play army all the time, pretending to blow things up and are always coming up with stupid concotions.

They stressed how dangerous this was. for them to be doing such a thing. They asked if they could speak wiht our kids. We told them yes. we had nothing to hide. They said they would contiue to investigate it and then once the kids were debriefed we could come back and get them. Take them home until the final decision was made.

So BR and I left. we went and ate. then we came back and sat in the parking lot for an hour. By 12:30 I was tired of sitting, Bow and Rayley were cranky and I had to pee. So I went into the school and asked if they were done. yes. and they would call me.

So, we left. BR and I were upset. the range of emotions, wondering if we were raising Ted Kazinski, wondering if they had a lick of sense. To astonishment. And just plain embaressment.

BR and I tried to stress that you cant just talk about Bombs at school. Tried to get to the bottom of it. Explained how bad it was that we had to meet with the cops. what juvie was. What prison for us would mean. How hard it is to get a Hazmat licence and that our livlihood depended on it. and that this would follow them all through school.

And we got more of the story.
Truthfully they were playing. Brett has said for months now that he wants to be in the army. They were discussing all kinds of stuff, from movies to wanting to blow things up, to being in the army. (brett thinks you have to make your own bombs in the army). And Brett did tell the boy some of the ingrediants for a bomb. mainly batteries.

Of course, during all of this, Matt brought up the gun powder, cause he isnt as much into the army thing, as he wants to see the pretty colors when it blows up. (I dont know how fireworks work, so when asked one year, how they make the pretty colors I told him gunpowder... )

Brett also said he had never told the kid to bring the stuff to school, and that he knew even when they were all talking that I would never allow them to get together and play, he just went along. Matt chimed in and said "oh I do that alot too, its easier than explaining that you dont deal well with kids" LOL smart little buggers.

Brett also said that he knew the bomb wouldnt work. But he thought it was neat and wanted to keep it in his room. This I can belive. He collects everything. I cant throw away a single magazine, half my newspapers and sales papers end up in their room, they have june bugs hanging on the wall, every stamp that comes through the door, bottle tops, bottles, enough wasp nests to scare even a bug scientist, shells, rocks, sticks, you name it, if it intriques them for any reason, they keep it and shove it somewhere in that toxic zone they call a bedroom.

During all of this BR and I were still very upset. we discussed all the repercusions, all the problems iwth what they did. and we tried to come up with a suitable punishment.
we decided to start off with them having to split wood the next day. So they did. an entire tree. BR cut it up. They put the logs in the tractor bucket, I drove it to the house, they repeated the process and then came home and split and stacked it. Then cleaned out my truck, put it in there. We took it to my moms and they had to stack it on her porch.

They had an absolute blast. They LOVED it. wanted to split more. I kid you not.
So, then it was their rooms. Clean them. spotless.
of course they had to do their laundry.
and helped my mom clean her yard.
By the time Monday rolled around they were looking forward to my dad arriving. I had a PTA meeting so in I went. Leaving them with my mom. I went by the school and got their work. Asking if any decisions had been made. Not yet.
My dad arrived and they visited iwth him. Then, the next day we did more laundry, Matt helped me clean the kitchen. Brett the living room. They scrubbed my walls. (it was thier handprints anyway)
Finally the school called.
they were suspended the rest of the week. giving them 7 days off.
They were in ISS till the Thanksgiving holidays. (this is a room with just them, a partition and their work. NO talking, no interaction, no recess, no leaving the classroom period.)
and off the bus for the remainder of the school year.

Now, this can pose more problems than its worth. I cant afford to drive them back and forth. And wont ask BR to work an extra night at work (he already works 6) for the gas money. We already have cut our expenses to the bone. There is VERY little that could give me the cash.
SO home schooling is seeming more and more like a good idea.
Of course, even with all the work I would pile on, (and I did all week cause they finished their own school work in mere hours), they would still have time to play in the woods, make up games and generaly be boys. Alot more time than they have now. And they would be involved in baseball and 4-H.

My Mother in law, when I finally decided I had to let the family in on my childrens stupidity, offered to drive them in. well fine. BUT it will cost me 50.00 a week for them to ride the daycare van the 1/8 of a mile to and from school.

So they are still in school. and once I was informed of their punishment, they were no longer under house arrest. they were free to enjoy their grandfather for the rest of the week. But if at anytime my mother in law stops working, I will have to rethink their school career.

At first I was apprehensive about telling their story. But I have not told it to a single person that was not shocked at the reaction.
I know what they did was wrong. in part.
They SHOULDNT have discussed it on the bus. They shouldnt have actually gotten the stuff together. BUT, they are boys. and even that is not the right excuse, they are KIDS. they have played war, and cowboys and indians, and pretended to wreck stuff, and blow stuff up since they could walk and talk. Bow does it now. He will take a car and wreck it into another one.

If they KNEW what I had done as a kid we would probebly be trying to post bail on them now. Black cats were my favorite thing. I would make roads in the dirt, drive cars around, make hills, blow up the hills and the cars would go flying.

My grandfather and father in law both admited to stink bombs in school. My grandfathers were ink wells with something poured in. My father in laws were actual stink bombs, or m80's in a toilet.

We didnt have to MAKE bombs, we had them. LOL

Now, I grasp that in light of todays society we have to be more careful. But, we still live in a slightly differnt world here. Maybe we shouldnt. but we do. I dont lock my doors. I dont look for the evil in people. I am not ignorant. I know its there. But I dont have to worry about it as much as some people. I allow my kids to go outside and play for hours with out me down their throats.

I am not downplaying this. And I dont want anyone to think I am. But at any time I can sit here and listen to them playing in their rooms. they are always making shooting noises, or kaboom noises, or just general noises of destruction. They go out in the woods (I dont have a backyard, I have 20 feet of sand and then tree's. ) and they climb trees, they throw pinecones at each other ( cause I refuse to buy them slingshots. they have heard me talk about sweetgum balls and slingshots, and what we used to do with them), they try to make bows and arrows, they take their toy guns and 'attack' each other. They found another kid that likes the same stuff and they talked about it.

Would they have gotten in the same amount of trouble had their not been a 'bomb'? who knows.. But I have to assume that yes. They would. because it was stressed to me that the 'planning' of it was the scary part.

Heck, these are kids that will spend from dawn till dusk getting together the 'supplies' to play survior man, and sleep outside in a hut they made. they will get water, and make an entire house, they will make beds, pillows, a fake TV out of sticks. They will take out food, blankets, and anything else. They swear they are going to sleep out there. They spent ALL day making the house and any mention by me of them not being allowed to do it is met wiht absolute horor.

With in 10 minutes of dusk, they are back in here. They LOVE to plan things. they plan 'fancy meals' making the table, setting the places, putting out salt and pepper, filling glasses with ice, the whole nine yards. And then get mad when its just tuna fish and I refuse to allow them to light a candle.

Of course like BR said "yep, you have really hurt them by making them take an 11 day vacation"

They cried when they had to go back to school. I am scared they will do something REALLY stupid to get kicked out permentaly...

My kids have done some stupid things. I will be the first to admit to that. and they dont always make wise decisions. they are not pictures of perfection. they talk too much, have a smart eleck attitude at times, dont always do what I tell them, ignore me quite often. Fight each other like wild indians, refuse to clean their room, can be ungrateful, and almost rude. Have lied. more than once. But they are not the unibomber. and I really dont believe they harbored any illwill. or even thought with ONE little ounce of intellegence that they were actully MAKING a bomb. to them it was a toy.

Do I think if they had access to fireworks they might set them off with out my knowledge. Hell yeah. Do I think they would tie their sister up and put dynamite under her and light it? ... okay bad example...
But they dont. We do a big fireworks thing twice a year. But my husband and brothers in law are waaaayyyy too into them for there to be a single grain of gunpowder with a wick attached to not be blown up before the night is over.

Have they heard stories about sparkelers and duct tape? saw the BIL's and FIL take a soda bottle, some 'the works' cleaner and tin foil and mix them together? Heard about smoke bombs? seen grown idiots lighting fireworks? seen a movie where they improvise a bomb? or just steal one from the armory? have the seen the freakin Coyote buy enough explosives from Acme to wipe the entire middle east off the map? yep.

Do they even rememeber what the ingredients were? I doubt it. Do they have access to all of these things? Nope.

Anyway, I will stop explaining. I am sure you are tired of reading. and you formed your own opinion already anyway. I cant explain you into understanding my thinking. But I can tell you that if I ever thought that my kids were actually capable of hurting another human being, I would be the first to do something about it. I love them dearly, but I will not knowingly put a demon on the streets. And I never take my kids side first rattle out of the box. Quite the opposite. which has resulted in me appologising to them more than once.

It took me days to see the stupidity of it all. Actually it took me quite a few friends and relatives saying "heck, I did MUCH worse in school" or "GIRL, you shoudl see what my kids have done" and it took some remembering back to when I was a kid. In the country. Surrounded by boys. We actually probebly DID do some stuff that would be construed as terroristic. But the cows and horses and goats survived. and we wernt trying to hurt them. They were just courious and would follow us out to the back of the pasture. at least till the first bang. Then they would take off for home.

Maybe they are exposed to the wrong things. And that I will take complete blame for. Yes they have seen every John Wayne movie, a bunch of westerns, Arnolds movies, and hundreds more as BR and I watch them (for the 2nd or 3rd time, we always vet all movies..). I pick and choose their cartoons. If it wasnt on TV when I was a kid, they aint watchin it. Honestly.
I buy them toy guns, toy soldiers, canteens, and such and encourage them to go outside and use their imagination.

I let them read Harry Potter, Huck Finn, hunting magazines, and the sunday comics.
They have seen war documentaries, Steve Erwin, national geographic, worlds wildest videos, dirtiest jobs and buildings being blown up on purpose.

anyway. There is the story of my juvinile delinquents.

My baby is one...

Well, its happened. My sweet darlin little baby, the last one I will ever have, my adorable and loving, easy going darlin has turned into a full fledged toddler. He is walking, playing, dancing and showing attitude.

Up till the day of his birthday I could still look at him and see baby. the wild hair, the chubby cheeks, and the smile with a few teeth.

Then November 13th came, and I took him to town to get his hair cut. BR and I and my dad all went.

His hair is NOT near as bad as Bretts was Brett had much more hair when he was born, and has 2 topknots making his stick up alot worse.
Matt was born with more hair than Rayley has now. and by the time he was one, I was to the point of wanting to pull it back in a rubber band.

Matt did have this tail same as Bow, But Matts was well past his collar.

So here is a few of the pictures.

he was an EXCELENT baby. with Brett and Matt I had to hold them down. They screamed, they cried, they kicked. Bow just wanted to watch. he was SOOOOO good. I even let the slobbering brat have a sucker.

So gone is my darling baby, and here is my big boy.

Dont you just LOVE those boots? My dad got him those. They are TOO cute. He cant walk real well in them yet. He doesnt like the feel of shoes. Up till this week he has never had a pair on. Heck, he seldom wears socks. But he has done pretty good.

We had his party on Saturday. And BOY did he love it. He got to open his presents and this kid was so calm, he literly didnt even try to open any of them when we got there,and they were sitting on the floor!!

I had to help him open the first, and it was just a ring stacker. That was it, he was through. He just wanted to play with the toy. So we had to help him with them all. He didnt want to give up the newest toy to get another package opened. He got a scooter thing from my mom and really loved that.

I had to pry him away from his toys to give him his cake.

I put him in his highchair and sat his cake in front of him. He just looked at it. I told him to go ahead. he just pulled the glow stick out that I had used as a candle and looked at it.

I put his hands in it, he looked at me like I was crazy. I gave him some iceing, he ate it and then poked the glowstick back in the cake.
It took us 15 minutes to get him to even start to break it apart. He ate a little of it, but could have really cared less. I have NEVER had a kid be this easy. My others tore into it like they had never seen a cake before and they thought it would bite them. they had to be hosed down and were died from the icing for days afterwards. Not Bow. he was almost clean as a whistle. which is very odd for him...

He went back to playing. He was having a blast.

We had went to my aunts house and so we loaded it all up to come home. Then decided since it was my dads last night we would go out to eat. I redressed him and Rayley put on her new outfit. She and Barbie have the same outfit.
She is so proud of this ensemble that she wants to wear it every day. Wait till she see's the other one I got her...

When we got outside I took a picture of them all. I really cant belive how big they are all getting. The years are flying by. It had turned chilly, so Rayley was NOT much into standing still.

see my running board?? thats where I liked to have jerked the dang thing off. And do you know that BR hasnt said a word? oh he told someone, (I think my dad) what happened, and explained how I was suffering from HIA, and how dumb it was. But as far as gettin mad cause I screwed up the truck, he hasnt said a word. I would like to get it fixed. but not till I win the lottery. LOL

After we ate we came home and Bow got back in the floor playing wiht his toys. He was so thrilled. He has never really just had an abundance of toys, so this was all new to him. He plays with some of the kids stuff, and always has something in his hands, but as far as buying him a new something everytime we go to walmart, or even once a month, we just havent done that. he had one of those wicker baskets full of stuff, and never really cared about it all.

He didnt get a whole lot of stuff, a little einstien learning thingy, the walker/scooter, a big dump truck, a train that spits out balls, and that ring thing, and a cup stacking thing. He also got some outfits.

but he sure did wear the new off them. I sent the kids to bed. Telling them to tell Pop bye, cause he would be a distant memory by the time we got up. Of course, I got the same line from him that he probably wouldnt leave till later in the morning. I didnt believe a word of it. I think he sneaks off so early, cause he is scared if he waits till everyone wakes up, I will fiqure out how to stow a kid in his trunk and he wont make a clean getaway..

Bow played till well after 10, the older kids had been in bed and asleep for a while. Finally he got up here in my lap and went to sleep. But come the next morning he was right back on the scooter/walker thing, and throwing toys .

I just cant belive the year has flown by. I will admit, there are times when I think I will never get these kids grown. When I think that I will have someone in my lap for the rest of my life. But there are also days when I could just put a rock on thier heads and make them stay young.
for all their maturity, they are really innocent. They are smart as whips, but untainted by societies problems. I would love for them to stay that way.

Dont get me wrong. They are not sweet and innocent little angels. But they are not scared to walk outside and go to the end of the property by themselves. I can literly tell them to go outside and not come back in until I call, and they do, and I am secure in knowing they are right there. somewhere. in the woods.

And speaking of shoving them otu the door and locking it. Bow does NOT appriciate when they go out and dont take him. I cant just let them go out with him and me not go, They love him, and they are great with him, but they are also easily distracted. And he is fearless, so he would be halfway to Houston before they realized he was gone. Heck, half the time they loose Rayley, or Rayley and Brett loose Matt. OR Matt and Rayley loose Brett. Or whats really funny is when one of them will come back inside, and the other two dont realize it and stay outside searching for that one, freaking out cause they aint willing to admit they lost them. calling them on the 2 way radio and the one that came in has laid it down. They wont admit to 'loosing' the other one, they will just call and try to draw him/her out. Since I can hear everything said they try to talk in code.

I guess I will close now. and I havent forgotten about my promise to post the drama. But I fiqure I better break the last 10 or so days up into more manageable blocks. But I will tell Frank and Jesse's story this week. Its a doozy. a real humdinger...

Monday, November 17, 2008

all is okay

I know I havent blogged lately. its been a drama filled week. I am too tired to blog tonight, plus I have a headache. BUT I promise to blog soon.
Hopefully tomorrow.

I have all kinds of stuff. the boys getting kicked out of school, Bow turned one, a first hair cut, a drama queens life. I will try to break it all up, so its not so long.

I have to find a groove. I prefer to blog when the kids go to sleep. BUT lately I have been so tired. Plus BR is still not sure which shift to work, so he is around at my normal blog time, and my dad came to visit so I spent time with him.

But thank you for bearing with me. I promise I will make it up to you. :)