I quit smoking on March 22, 2011 with Electronic Cigarettes

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

I am raising heathens..

Okay, I promised to spill the beans on my children.
But first.

My sister in law, ( I have talked about her before, ) Amanda's mom has been real sick. Amanda and Luke have taken my kids all their lives, and naturaly she has taken my children to see her mom. And Daisy just loved them. Well, she has had a bad heart for years. And lately has been in and out of the hospital. for about a month. A few weeks ago they almost lost her, and then she improved. Well, while in the hospital she asked for my kids to cme and see her. So as soon as she came home Amanda came and got them. They went over and played, helped in the yard, and visited. They came home and had really enjoyed themselves. Amanda said that Daisy just lit up when she saw them. She does have grandchildren, but has always treated my children as her own.

well shortly after that weekend she was admited back into the hospital. She has been getting worse and worse. She died on Monday night. I didnt tell the kids until last night. I didnt want them dwelling on it in school. Tonight was visitation, and I broke the news to Rayley today and thought she took it pretty well. She asked why she died, and I explained that she was very sick. And in her unequivical belief in GOd and Heaven she was fine wiht it. But I knew the finality of it hadnt set in. She told me stories all day about times she had spent with 'day day' as they called her.

When I told the boys they cried, but did bounce back pretty quickly. they talked about her and how much fun they always had. But tonight, once we left the funeral home it hit them. they were pretty well behaived while we were there. And I spent all night being told stories about them from Amanda's family. they are quite popular. It also seemed that everyone in town had seen them with Amanda at one time or another through the years. (they live in the next town over, and I dont go there often). And I think the whole town was at visitation.

But once we got in the truck, and were about half way home (its a good 35-40 minute ride) it dawned on them. And the water works started. I cant take the pain away. and honestly dont want to. I hope they did understand that in the end we wernt praying for God to save her. We were praying for God to do the best thing. Her death was alot like my grandmothers. and I am not ashamed to say that in the end I was actually glad that God had called her home. Its been a little over 4 years, and I still pick up the phone to call her, but I know that she wasnt living. She was existing. And as much as I want her here, to love my kids, to continue to teach me, I wouldnt bring her back as she was, if it was in my power. I know Amanda feels the same way. I just dont quite know if I managed to get it across to the kids.

I might need to call my cousin who is a preacher and get him to help me wiht the spiritual side of it. they have had a range of emotions. everything from complete despair, to asking why God would do this, to talking about who all she is seeing now that she is in Heaven.

The service is tomorrow. and BR is taking off to go. Matter of fact, everyone in our family is going. We are not the type of family that has lunch with all the inlaws once a month, but we do speak when we see them in the grocery store, pray for them when they are ill, and offer a helping hand if they need it.
But we are not going for Daisy. We are going for Amanda. She is ours, and she is hurting. Thats just how we do it. But I reckon thats how everyone does it.

We did get tickled tonight. Well today. Rayley picked out the plant that we sent. BUT wouldnt let the florist have it delivered. SHE was taking IT to HER Aunt 'manda. So we did. Well, I was looking at all the beautiful sprays, and pot plants, and flowers. And I came across the one my sister in law (BR's sister) adn MIL had gotten together.
First of all Amanda and Luke just bought a house. It was a camp house. One bedroom, kitchen and living room are together and you couldnt swing a good sized cat in there with out knocking out a light.
This plant is bigger than me. its taller (I am 5 ft 2. ) and it would take 3 of us to hold hands around it and not touch its leaves.
When I saw it I went and got Amanda and had to show it to her. You talk about cackiling and carrying on. She just kept asking where she was going to put it. and its NOT like any of us have a big house. But of all of us, Amanda and LUke do have the smallest.

The good news is, Luke wants to redecorate in camoflauge, they have a really nice couch made out of camo material (hunting, not army) that he wants, and he has aquired some beautiful prints from the NWTF and NRA banquets. he wants it to look very rustic. So this will fit right in. He can hide behind it.
or in it.

Now. On to the tale of my very own McGuiver children...

As I have posted before, they tend to play alot on the bus. There are other kids their age, boys, and I dont know these kids. It could be kids I wouldnt even allow them to play with if I was inclined to allow mine to have playdates.

Now there has been lots of crap that I have just ignored. Brett getting cut by a 5th grader that used a broken pencil sharpener. Matt getting punched in the gut. them being called names, them getting in trouble cause kids are calling US names and they get mad and holler and jump up. Well our kids love us, (sometimes) and want to take up for us. even when its names that in no way would describe us. LOL

but none of that matters. mostly.

This all started a week ago last thursday. around 8:45 am the phone rang. It was the school. The assistant principal was breathless and obviously upset. She said "Michelle, can you and Billy come to the school? We need to see you imediatly"
"yes, we can. Whats wrong?"
"we just need to see you. Your kids have made a bomb."

well, there was a fleeting moment when I saw a Uhaul truck and horse shit falling out. Then I realized. My kids are morons. They couldnt pour water out of a boot with the instructions on the heel.
So, BR asks me what in the world is going on. He was falling asleep since he had been out at work ALL night. I told him.
"are you serious?"
I wont repeat the rest of his comments, but needless to say he was NOT thrilled.

So, we arrive at the school and are set down in the foyer. Matt comes through a little while later. So we pulled him over to us. He tells us a little. and across the room we see cops.
Matt is scared, and saying he had been in a room by himself with just a teacher all morning. And being questioned. So he sat down with us, played with Bow and Rayley and do you know that NOT ONCE did anyone come looking for him. He had asked to go to the bathroom and just never showed back up for class. we were out there for 45 minutes.
Finally they came and got us. he went back to solitary confinement.
We were introduced to both principals (whom I already know. Since I am one of just a few people in the PTA) and the Interm superentendant. And his replacement who had been hired the day before, and the police officer that is stationed at the High School. And a Lt with the City Police, AND the Chief of Police.
I found Bows toys (we were in the room where we do all our PTA stuff) and set him and Rayley down to play. they are familier with the surroundings and have spent many an hour in there, so there was no problems and we got down to buisiness.

This is what I gleened from the things we were told. Brett, Matt and a another boy had discussed making a bomb. And Brett had explained what needed to be put in one. Kids overheard this and told their principals about it this morning. Those principals had called ours. So, they were called into the office.

And Matt sang like a canary. He said that yes they had discussed it. And that although he had only been a small part of it, he had reminded them that in addition to the canister, batteries, and toilet paper, they would need gun powder to make it have the pretty colors like fireworks have.

So here I jumped in. I asked if it was just my boys. NO. there was another boy.
They went on to tell me that when asked about the 'bomb' the boys had said that they were going to play with it this weekend. playing army. and that when asked if they had the bomb they were told that yes. it was in Bretts backpack.

I asked what it was made of.
an axe canister. that was cut wiht bolt cutter or side cutters or something. I stopped them and said that we dont have any such thing here. For one, my kids are not old enough for that sort of thing. for 2 it stinks to high heaven, and 3. the smell of it gives me a miagraine.
and I had to ask "it didnt blow up when they punctured it?" Cause, I have always been under the impression that if you punctured an aresol can it would blow up. It says so right on the can. And I watched a full can of Kenra hairspray shoot about 100 feet out of my burning home (and that HURT, that crap is EXPENSIVE!). It was amazing. it shot THROUGH a wall. or a few walls. there was at least two it had to go through, and thats if it made it through the doorway OUT of the bathroom. if not, it was 3. Plus, I have had the misfortune to have someone put the occasional can in my burn trash, and they are LOUD when they pop. and even become airborne when empty. which my kids have also seen. I reckon I tend to shelter them from the wrong things. maybe I shouldnt let them see me dispose of trash either....
Then they said it had batteries in it.
"rechargable?" No.. disposable. well, I dont own any of those.
and paper. that COULD be mine. or the kids. or who evers.
SO why did Brett have it? well the other kid had brought it all in and didnt have his backpack. Brett did. He hadnt had ANY of the ingrediants, but the MORON had the finished product IN his bag. My little mule...

I explained to them that my kids DONT do playdates. PERIOD. I dont like other kids. at all. I have 4 of them. they are thier own playdates.

Then they asked me if my kids had access to gun powder. We said no. We dont have any. They brought up accelerants. Again. none here. we use rich lighter pine to start fires. (its a old pine tree stump that has died, and the sap is in the wood and its highly flamable. you stick a match to it and it will catch on fire. VERY nice, no paper to roll up, no lighter fluid, nothing.) They wanted to know what kind of video games they played. none. honestly. they dont. They play real life games. But I will admit they do have a few GI joes. and army men, and cowboys and indians, and lots of other typical toys that kid have had for hundreds of years.

And of course they asked about bullies, changes at home. told us we might need to concider counciling. Asked if there was anything bad going on that would prompt them to want to basicly have a mass killing. We said no. they are just normal boys who love fireworks, play in the woods, play army all the time, pretending to blow things up and are always coming up with stupid concotions.

They stressed how dangerous this was. for them to be doing such a thing. They asked if they could speak wiht our kids. We told them yes. we had nothing to hide. They said they would contiue to investigate it and then once the kids were debriefed we could come back and get them. Take them home until the final decision was made.

So BR and I left. we went and ate. then we came back and sat in the parking lot for an hour. By 12:30 I was tired of sitting, Bow and Rayley were cranky and I had to pee. So I went into the school and asked if they were done. yes. and they would call me.

So, we left. BR and I were upset. the range of emotions, wondering if we were raising Ted Kazinski, wondering if they had a lick of sense. To astonishment. And just plain embaressment.

BR and I tried to stress that you cant just talk about Bombs at school. Tried to get to the bottom of it. Explained how bad it was that we had to meet with the cops. what juvie was. What prison for us would mean. How hard it is to get a Hazmat licence and that our livlihood depended on it. and that this would follow them all through school.

And we got more of the story.
Truthfully they were playing. Brett has said for months now that he wants to be in the army. They were discussing all kinds of stuff, from movies to wanting to blow things up, to being in the army. (brett thinks you have to make your own bombs in the army). And Brett did tell the boy some of the ingrediants for a bomb. mainly batteries.

Of course, during all of this, Matt brought up the gun powder, cause he isnt as much into the army thing, as he wants to see the pretty colors when it blows up. (I dont know how fireworks work, so when asked one year, how they make the pretty colors I told him gunpowder... )

Brett also said he had never told the kid to bring the stuff to school, and that he knew even when they were all talking that I would never allow them to get together and play, he just went along. Matt chimed in and said "oh I do that alot too, its easier than explaining that you dont deal well with kids" LOL smart little buggers.

Brett also said that he knew the bomb wouldnt work. But he thought it was neat and wanted to keep it in his room. This I can belive. He collects everything. I cant throw away a single magazine, half my newspapers and sales papers end up in their room, they have june bugs hanging on the wall, every stamp that comes through the door, bottle tops, bottles, enough wasp nests to scare even a bug scientist, shells, rocks, sticks, you name it, if it intriques them for any reason, they keep it and shove it somewhere in that toxic zone they call a bedroom.

During all of this BR and I were still very upset. we discussed all the repercusions, all the problems iwth what they did. and we tried to come up with a suitable punishment.
we decided to start off with them having to split wood the next day. So they did. an entire tree. BR cut it up. They put the logs in the tractor bucket, I drove it to the house, they repeated the process and then came home and split and stacked it. Then cleaned out my truck, put it in there. We took it to my moms and they had to stack it on her porch.

They had an absolute blast. They LOVED it. wanted to split more. I kid you not.
So, then it was their rooms. Clean them. spotless.
of course they had to do their laundry.
and helped my mom clean her yard.
By the time Monday rolled around they were looking forward to my dad arriving. I had a PTA meeting so in I went. Leaving them with my mom. I went by the school and got their work. Asking if any decisions had been made. Not yet.
My dad arrived and they visited iwth him. Then, the next day we did more laundry, Matt helped me clean the kitchen. Brett the living room. They scrubbed my walls. (it was thier handprints anyway)
Finally the school called.
they were suspended the rest of the week. giving them 7 days off.
They were in ISS till the Thanksgiving holidays. (this is a room with just them, a partition and their work. NO talking, no interaction, no recess, no leaving the classroom period.)
and off the bus for the remainder of the school year.

Now, this can pose more problems than its worth. I cant afford to drive them back and forth. And wont ask BR to work an extra night at work (he already works 6) for the gas money. We already have cut our expenses to the bone. There is VERY little that could give me the cash.
SO home schooling is seeming more and more like a good idea.
Of course, even with all the work I would pile on, (and I did all week cause they finished their own school work in mere hours), they would still have time to play in the woods, make up games and generaly be boys. Alot more time than they have now. And they would be involved in baseball and 4-H.

My Mother in law, when I finally decided I had to let the family in on my childrens stupidity, offered to drive them in. well fine. BUT it will cost me 50.00 a week for them to ride the daycare van the 1/8 of a mile to and from school.

So they are still in school. and once I was informed of their punishment, they were no longer under house arrest. they were free to enjoy their grandfather for the rest of the week. But if at anytime my mother in law stops working, I will have to rethink their school career.

At first I was apprehensive about telling their story. But I have not told it to a single person that was not shocked at the reaction.
I know what they did was wrong. in part.
They SHOULDNT have discussed it on the bus. They shouldnt have actually gotten the stuff together. BUT, they are boys. and even that is not the right excuse, they are KIDS. they have played war, and cowboys and indians, and pretended to wreck stuff, and blow stuff up since they could walk and talk. Bow does it now. He will take a car and wreck it into another one.

If they KNEW what I had done as a kid we would probebly be trying to post bail on them now. Black cats were my favorite thing. I would make roads in the dirt, drive cars around, make hills, blow up the hills and the cars would go flying.

My grandfather and father in law both admited to stink bombs in school. My grandfathers were ink wells with something poured in. My father in laws were actual stink bombs, or m80's in a toilet.

We didnt have to MAKE bombs, we had them. LOL

Now, I grasp that in light of todays society we have to be more careful. But, we still live in a slightly differnt world here. Maybe we shouldnt. but we do. I dont lock my doors. I dont look for the evil in people. I am not ignorant. I know its there. But I dont have to worry about it as much as some people. I allow my kids to go outside and play for hours with out me down their throats.

I am not downplaying this. And I dont want anyone to think I am. But at any time I can sit here and listen to them playing in their rooms. they are always making shooting noises, or kaboom noises, or just general noises of destruction. They go out in the woods (I dont have a backyard, I have 20 feet of sand and then tree's. ) and they climb trees, they throw pinecones at each other ( cause I refuse to buy them slingshots. they have heard me talk about sweetgum balls and slingshots, and what we used to do with them), they try to make bows and arrows, they take their toy guns and 'attack' each other. They found another kid that likes the same stuff and they talked about it.

Would they have gotten in the same amount of trouble had their not been a 'bomb'? who knows.. But I have to assume that yes. They would. because it was stressed to me that the 'planning' of it was the scary part.

Heck, these are kids that will spend from dawn till dusk getting together the 'supplies' to play survior man, and sleep outside in a hut they made. they will get water, and make an entire house, they will make beds, pillows, a fake TV out of sticks. They will take out food, blankets, and anything else. They swear they are going to sleep out there. They spent ALL day making the house and any mention by me of them not being allowed to do it is met wiht absolute horor.

With in 10 minutes of dusk, they are back in here. They LOVE to plan things. they plan 'fancy meals' making the table, setting the places, putting out salt and pepper, filling glasses with ice, the whole nine yards. And then get mad when its just tuna fish and I refuse to allow them to light a candle.

Of course like BR said "yep, you have really hurt them by making them take an 11 day vacation"

They cried when they had to go back to school. I am scared they will do something REALLY stupid to get kicked out permentaly...

My kids have done some stupid things. I will be the first to admit to that. and they dont always make wise decisions. they are not pictures of perfection. they talk too much, have a smart eleck attitude at times, dont always do what I tell them, ignore me quite often. Fight each other like wild indians, refuse to clean their room, can be ungrateful, and almost rude. Have lied. more than once. But they are not the unibomber. and I really dont believe they harbored any illwill. or even thought with ONE little ounce of intellegence that they were actully MAKING a bomb. to them it was a toy.

Do I think if they had access to fireworks they might set them off with out my knowledge. Hell yeah. Do I think they would tie their sister up and put dynamite under her and light it? ... okay bad example...
But they dont. We do a big fireworks thing twice a year. But my husband and brothers in law are waaaayyyy too into them for there to be a single grain of gunpowder with a wick attached to not be blown up before the night is over.

Have they heard stories about sparkelers and duct tape? saw the BIL's and FIL take a soda bottle, some 'the works' cleaner and tin foil and mix them together? Heard about smoke bombs? seen grown idiots lighting fireworks? seen a movie where they improvise a bomb? or just steal one from the armory? have the seen the freakin Coyote buy enough explosives from Acme to wipe the entire middle east off the map? yep.

Do they even rememeber what the ingredients were? I doubt it. Do they have access to all of these things? Nope.

Anyway, I will stop explaining. I am sure you are tired of reading. and you formed your own opinion already anyway. I cant explain you into understanding my thinking. But I can tell you that if I ever thought that my kids were actually capable of hurting another human being, I would be the first to do something about it. I love them dearly, but I will not knowingly put a demon on the streets. And I never take my kids side first rattle out of the box. Quite the opposite. which has resulted in me appologising to them more than once.

It took me days to see the stupidity of it all. Actually it took me quite a few friends and relatives saying "heck, I did MUCH worse in school" or "GIRL, you shoudl see what my kids have done" and it took some remembering back to when I was a kid. In the country. Surrounded by boys. We actually probebly DID do some stuff that would be construed as terroristic. But the cows and horses and goats survived. and we wernt trying to hurt them. They were just courious and would follow us out to the back of the pasture. at least till the first bang. Then they would take off for home.

Maybe they are exposed to the wrong things. And that I will take complete blame for. Yes they have seen every John Wayne movie, a bunch of westerns, Arnolds movies, and hundreds more as BR and I watch them (for the 2nd or 3rd time, we always vet all movies..). I pick and choose their cartoons. If it wasnt on TV when I was a kid, they aint watchin it. Honestly.
I buy them toy guns, toy soldiers, canteens, and such and encourage them to go outside and use their imagination.

I let them read Harry Potter, Huck Finn, hunting magazines, and the sunday comics.
They have seen war documentaries, Steve Erwin, national geographic, worlds wildest videos, dirtiest jobs and buildings being blown up on purpose.

anyway. There is the story of my juvinile delinquents.


Eboni said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Eboni said...

Oh my, Chelle, that story was worth waiting for. I really enjoyed the parts that describe the punishments and how you and BR handled it. I love your honesty and the honesty you have with your kids. No pretensions! You have a wonderful family. I love that you do not try to shelter them too much especially with the reading. The more they know the better off they will be as adults. What happens sometimes is that other kids make use of the well-roundedness of other kids (is that a word?) and use them for things they can't or do not know how to do. Did you talk with the other kid's parents? Just asking and wondering how they felt about it. We had some kids here one halloween who were basically good kids but in a group, they decided to get in a fight with a couple of girls. Those girls were beaten so badly we all felt deep pain of what happened to her. The group were kids who were high profile students and athletes and who knows what got into them? I felt that the community should have spoken up and reminded that several great people had died in order for them to have the opportunities they had, and that these people had died and left their own kids behind just so the rest of us could benefit from integration. Anyway, I digress. Just wanted to let you know that you are up for mother of the year, superchick. PS- I deleted the other post because I was unable to re-do a sentence...

maidto5 said...

THank you pearly :)

I havent attempted to contact the other kids parents. I know the mom in passing. but really dont know them. Whats wierd is, my great aunt, her grandson, is married to the sister of the dad of the kid. But that family is not one that I know. (very small community)

their 'adventure' was the talk of the funeral home last night. everyone there knew my kids even if I dont know them, so they all were enthralled. ut the one question was "oh my, aint you scared of when Rayley goes to school and what she will pull?" LOL

Thats awful about those kids. and I have always said, one boy= intelligence with 1/2 a brain
2 boys = NO brain and lack of sense
3 boys= pure pandamonium..

And I aint real sure about supermom. But at least they will have interesting things for my Eulogy and can explain why I am bald... ;)