the countdown for school

I am sitting here at 10:50am. I was supposed to be in town by 9am for school clothes shopping. I have a very full week, Wend and Thursday I have to be at the school for registration. The PTA has a booth. Then I have to leave there Thursday, before its over, but oh well, to reset up the garage sale. It rained on us last weekend. like 4 inches worth. and made it impossible to sell anything. Then Friday we are doing the sale. I need to get Rayley some shoes, Matt needs a new pair of boots, Brett has to have Tennis shoes, and boots, and Brett and Matt both need clothes. I dont know how lots of people are affording to do it. And we dont have a choice, Our kids HAVE to wear the uniforms. YOu cant just get the nicest clothes left from last year and let them wear them. Nope, you have to wear the uniforms.

ANyway, I got up, got dressed, told them to get dressed and Matt had on a pair of VERY dirty jeans. I told him to go and change, he had a meltdown. There was no clean jeans.

Well, I have 2 problems with this. 3 days ago, I asked if there was any more laundry. Everyone said no. I picked up a few things I could find, and threw them in. THEN, 2 days ago, I asked Brett to put a blanket in the washer that Bow had managed to spill his sippy cup on. He couldnt. He was washing jeans. So, 30 minutes later I reminded him to get his jeans out and dry them. He even offered to put my blanket in at that time.

The dryer went off, I told him to get them. He asked if I needed anything to go in the washer. I really thought he had learned his lesson.

Fast forward to today. Come to find out, he had washed 3 pair of jeans. the ones they wore yesterday, and the ones he was wearing today. Just writing about it makes my blood boil.

I took Rayley to my cousins house yesterday, she had offered to give her a hair cut for school. It is SOOO adorable. I never dreamed it would be this cute. Then she offered to cut Bows, and Then show me where I am messing up with Bretts. His is so thick upfront, and then she cut Matts.

I was so grateful for all of that. Then she looked over Rayleys again, we decided we could go shorter with it. Then she offered to cut mine!! So, we all got hair cuts, and she did a great job.

Rayley wanted her hair cut just like mine. and thats what she got. The poor baby has no hair, it was down to her shoulders, but it was stringy, and thin, and broken. If you put it in a pony tail, the pony is smaller than your pinky. I really wish she could have the typical little girl pigtails and pony tails, and wear lots of big bows, but she just doesnt have the hair for it. But I am thrilled with this hair cut, it looks great on her. and will be easy to deal with during her morning meltdowns.











yes I have a mini me.






The pictures are blurry, I know that. But Brett hasnt quite fiqured out the concept of picture taking yet. He tries hard, and luckily he does, otherwise there would never be a picture of me taken. LOL


She does love her hair. and I do too. I just dont know how to style mine now that she has this hair cut. I feel kinda silly having twinkie haircuts with her. LOL

When BR got home I was on the phone. He came in and whispered that my hair was too short. Its a little shorter than normal, but not by much. It had just been a while since I got it cut.

Then a little while later, a commercial for Jon and Kate came on. "I like her hair, well not the back, I like your back better, but the front"

OMG. I told him her hair was MUCH shorter than mine!!

"well, she doesnt have bangs, can you not have bangs?"

"okay, I can probebly get rid of the bangs."

"oh and it would be nice if you would wear clothes- real clothes- everyday, instead of sweat pants and T shirts"

Honestly. For what? seriously. IN addition to the fact that I dont really have anything except 3 pair of jeans, and a few shirts, I wouldnt be comfertable, at all. I sit around the house all day. NO ONE sees me. I slop hogs, I check on chickens, and I really just dont get the point. I have a few nice 'town' outfits, I dont have 'just sitting around the house in comfertable jeans' outfits. I used to years ago. But thats not really something you just go and buy. Its things you aquire. I hate to shop. and my 'comfertable, just around the house' clothes were all 10-15 years old when they burned up. Not to mention, I had a JOB. I dressed everyday to leave the house. Its not like I sit around in a night gown.

He has always told me he wishes I wouldnt wear makeup. I look just fine wiht out it, that I dont have to do all that to my hair, etc etc. so now he wants me to get up in the morning, get in full dress, hair, makeup and such to look at the kids and scream at them?

Not to mention, the extra laundry. I dont go anywhere. I never leave the house. when I do, I am dressed, makeup, hair, etc. and most times I hear "your just going to walmart, why are you getting dressed? " I understand that he doesnt want a frumpy housewife. BUT, I am not actually in PJ's. I have on work out pants, and such. My hair isnt up in rollers or a Aunt Jamima rag, its brushed. not teased but brushed. AND to do all this, I will be washing my few outfits 4 or 5 times as much, they will wear out quicker. I will be using makeup, so instead of blush and eyeshadow lasting me a year or two, it will last maybe 3 or 4 months. Not to mention the hairspray. Hairspray is ONE thing I dont scrimp on. But a can lasts me months and months. Now I might get a month out of it.

And the time. I am not one who takes 3 hours to get ready, But a shower, blowdry and makeup does take me about 45 minutes. Now, thats 45 minutes out of my day. BUT dont stop there. Thats also 45 minutes that the kids are into something. a marker, sissors, trying to rope the ceiling fan, pulling the blinds down and off peice by peice, dumping all the toys in the living room, getting their own koolaid and spilling it, trying to fill up the sugar thing and dropping 4 pounds on the floor.

You get the idea. SO, now I have a mess that it took them 45 minutes to make- that I have to clean up. You dont clean these messes up quickly. so, thats at least an hour and a half to clean up the mess they made when I was in the shower. Now, I am looking at 2 hours and 15 minutes wasted, so I can look nice in the hour that he is home before he goes to bed. Usually that hour is spent washing dishes or cooking, so I am sweaty or a soapy wet mess when I am done.



off my soapbox now. kinda

and I let this sit in drafts for a week. My new computer that my dad bought me arrived. It was SOOO nice of him to get it! it even has wifi. I have to drive to town for it to work, but its cool. Unfortunatly, I had to send it off for repairs less than a week after it arrived. I got it back in 2 days. They changed some stuff out. and its STILL messed up. It goes back today.

I had the garage sale, got rained out and had another. I didnt make much money, and the stuff in it was nice. I sent an entire truck load, and I do mean a LOAD to hospice. After trying to sell it 3 times I decided that God wanted me to donate the stuff to those less fortunate. I did keep most of Bows clothes. I hope to give them to someone. The people that I had the sale with said I was bad luck. They have never had a garage sale where they didnt make less than 600.00. LOL

I got the school supplies sold, we only have 10 more that need selling and I am confident they will sell at open house. T shirts are ordered and I am almost ready for school to start.

We have went school clothes shopping, and I have been working on that garage sale for weeks. I have went through everyones closets, gotten it all out. GOt rid of LOTS of toys, etc. My kids STILL wont clean up.

Today my mother is coming to get them at one. She wanted them to come and visit. For weeks and weeks I have begged them to clean their rooms. Threatened to throw it all away. Yesterday I went into their bathroom, I had asked it be cleaned for a while. They ignored me. So, I threw away everything except toothbrushes. All Rayleys play makeup... gone.
The boys cologne and such? GONE.

and all toys that were in there, are GONE. I mopped the floor by hand, cleaned the toilet, the tub and the sink. The whole thing took me less than 15 minutes. That was all it would have taken them. but in their lazyness they lost lots of stuff.

I cant have that bathroom messy, its the one visitors use.
I cant have their bedrooms so messy I cant walk in them.

and I am SOOO tired of doing laundry. They refuse to put it up. instead its on the floor. Aside from my time, which noone seems to respect, water and electricity are expensive. VERY expensive. I am tired of wasting it on them.

I sat them down and explained that I am not a maid, I am not the hired help and I am fed up with being treated that way. They ignored me and pretended to clean but only played for the next 5 hours. So, when they leave here today, its gone. and its not just the one room thats messy.

When I explained it, I told them all clean or everything goes. including baseball cards. Well Brett said "if both rooms aint clean you will take the stuff from the clean room too?"

well, since yesterday they had the bright idea to take the toys they like, and put them in Rayleys room, 'giving' them to her, so I would clean their room of the trashy toys and trash, I said "YEP" -- if both rooms aint clean, they loose it all.

I dont want to. It all comes down to the bottom line. money was spent on that stuff. PLUS, Bow plays with it too. But, If they want to treat me like a prison warden, I am going to treat them like inmates. Inmates on cell restiction. No personal property and no privledges.

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anyway, we did get most of the school clothes. I only got Brett a few pair of the pants, and a few shirts. he just needs shoes. Which we cant find. They have to be a solid color. and they dont want the logo to be large or showy. He wont wear loafers, and they recalled all the kids chukas.

Matt did get new boots, again. and Rayley got a few outfits and some new shoes.. She is soooo excited to go to school.

The other day she came in here and told me "mom, you are gona have to write a note for me, or just tell everyone" (now, she is a drama queen, and talks with her hands, so at this point she is gestering quite lividly) "you need to tell the school that I am Rayley Lorena Byerly, (hands go to her hips at this point) and that I am Brett and Matt Byerly's little sister" " you HAVE to write this down, are yougetting all this? " I am nodding my head of course " You tell them just who I am, so there is no confusion"

So I told her "sweetie, I can assure you, there will be NO confusion as to who you are"

"fine, just so they know"

I dont know what I am going to do with her. Seriously. But she did get Matts old teacher. Maybe that will help. Although she is totally differnt from Matt.
He was quiet and although lazy, he didnt get in alot of trouble for talking. She will I am quite sure..

Bow is going to be a handful when they start school. He wont know what to do with himself. I feel sorry for the poor thing. He is used to having them to beat up on.

Just yesterday Brett was telling my grandfather how mean Bow was. So he told Bow, "hit me in the nose" Bow balled up his fist, rared back and knocked the snot out of him. my grandfather laughed so hard he cried.

And if the kids make him mad, and they are not with in hitting distance, he will take his fingers, make a gun and 'shoot' them as they walk off.

They did it to him. They have played with him and picked at him since the day he was born. They treat him like he is their age. He follows them everywhere. He does the same things they do, and when they wrassle or fight, he is right in the middle of it. They play keepaway from him, toss him around like a sack of taters, and are always trying to get a rise out of him.

Tomorrow I will go and get the rest of the kids school supplies. This is gona cost a fortune.

We are an hour into the 'clean' the final chance the kids have. They have 3 hours left, and right now I can hear them playing and throwing things in Rayleys bedroom. I find it quite disturbing. They think one of three things. That A)- I wont really do it.. B) that I will eventually give them back the things, or C) that they will get to replace it with more toys at the next birthday, or by just asking for stuff from the grandmothers.

BUT- I have spoken to every family member, I have told them that I will nto allow any more toys, or such in the house. I have explained that any toys recieved will go strait to hospice. One or two will ignore me. But, I have to have control. and When they ignore me and waste their money, I loose control. I am outnumbered by these children. and they know it. I am tired of always begging, pleading, threating and punishing. I dont want to spend my life doing that.

If I make a grandparent mad, so be it. Life is too short for me to be miserable while the rest of the world gets their way.

I cant even go into their rooms to put up clothes. I cant go in to wake them up. I swear its booby trapped. Half the time I cant even FIND them when they sleep. They cant use their beds, they sleep on the 2 foot deep piles of clothes, blankets, toys and various other sundry that makes up the floor of their rooms.

Then they get mad when you step on them. Its a health hazard. OSHA would fine me to high heaven if they walked in here. I am not even sure its safe to live in the house. These kids have dirty clothes that they havent seen in months. Socks that could walk on their own when they took them off. They have just sat in there and fermented for God knows how long.

I dont ask for a spotless room, I just ask for it to be livable. I am not a spotless housekeeper. You can find dust anywhere you look, But I dont leave dirty diapers all over the floor.

I am really worried about them. They just dont have any sense of responsibility. And I have tried to always make them appriciate what they get. I dont buy them the latest toys, I dont give them everything they ask for. Heck, I dont buy anything unless its birthday or Christmast. Dont get me wrong, they get things, but its NOT from us. I dont know why they think the world revolves around them. And I am doing what I think is right to correct the mistakes that I have made. Its all I can do. And its not like this is a new thing. I have made them pick up their toys from the day they were old enough to pull them out of the toybox. Maybe its because I always had them at grandparents houses, I would tell them to clean up, they would say "oh dont worry about it baby, I'll get it later" or "Michelle, they are just babies, dont be so hard on them" Either way, my fault, theirs, or just bad breeding, its got to stop. At the rate they are going, they will be the adults who are always sitting there saying "I dont like the President, but what will my vote do?" or "I dont think I should have to serve Jury Duty, let someone else who wants to do it" or my favorite "why should I help at my kids school, there are lots of moms who want to do it" The reason our country is going to hell in a handbasket, is because too many people expect someone else to do all the dirty work, expect everyone else to make things right for them, and expect someone else to pick up the peices. Well, when we as a country stop helping out our neighbor, our kids schools, our judicial system, and ignoring our elections, we will be standing in line hoping the soup is still hot and there is still good veggies in it. If they can find someone willing to serve it to us. OR praying that the judge hasnt had a bad day, listened to the case and doesnt have a predjudice towards us for some unknown slight. When we cant find a jury of our peers, when the crazy people are the only ones to vote, when all the moms with an extra hour a day spend it watching Dr Phil instead of helping out in the classroom, or making mums for a fundraiser, we will be relying on someone who could care less about us.

Sorry, I got back on that soapbox.... I just cant help it. The lack of interest that people have in things outside their own little world amaze me. and it saddens me.

THis is kinda why I havent been blogging lately. I have tried, but I just seem to be in such a bad mood lately that I cant help but whine. I dont do enough for my world, and I know that. But, trutfully, be it here at home, at the school, at the polls, wherever, no matter how hard I work, it seems like I am the only one trying. and I know that sounds selfish, but when you work your butt off, doing just the little things, cleaning, cooking, folding laundry, and then you walk in and 15 minutes later it looks like you have sat on your ass all day, you just wonder. "why did I do it? why didnt I just sit on my ass all day?" I dont want flowers, or Thank yous, or grand standing. I dont care if my name is ever in lights, I just want to know that what I have done is used. what I have done is respected. Not admired, just respected. I want the new clothes I bought, spent hard earned money on, to be put up. taken care of. I want the floor I just vaccummed to not have easter grass (where the HELL does that come from? its like gremlins, it mulitplies.... ) strown across it because I went to pee. And if I make ONE more meal where I get asked "why didnt you make ________- to go with it", or "why do we have to eat this? I'd rather have that" I am going to scream.

damn... that soap box is hard to get off of.. LOL


I have officially taken Brett off cleaning duty. He was in there, trying to clean, and Rayley and Matt were just throwing stuff at each other, or fighting. So now, their whole future relies on the two laziest people in the house. and there is less than an hour to go. I did tell him that his future is on his siblings shoulders, so he could choose to clean if he wanted. They are now cleaning and he is sitting. I dont blame him, but he is risking alot.

anyone got any trash bags I can borrow?