The isle of misplaced items...

Well Happy New Year!!

They say that what ever you are doing on New Years day you will do for the rest of the year.

I debated on not cleaning, because I really dont want to be cleaning all year, I thought about not cooking, not doing laundry, not hollering, not cussing, not threatening someones life.

BUT, to not clean would mean my house would be eligable for consideration as a National disaster area all year.

Not doing laundry would mean I would have the 12 loads in my bathroom floor ALL year.

Not cooking would mean I would hear "I'm starving" all year, plus, it would mean no cabbage and purple hull peas for luck and money.

the hollering, cussing, threatining, and such would mean that I couldnt spend the day with my kids, meaning I wouldnt see them in the new year.

So I just decided to treat it as any other day; clean, cook, scream, holler, and do alot of praying.

We took down the Christmas Tree. Its artificial, and I am kinda ornament happy. So there were ALOT of ornaments to take down. I put them up with fishing string, and unbeknownst to me, my children- apparently everytime they walked by, twirled the ornaments on the branches, wrapping the line around each branch.
multiple times.
IT was NOT fun to try and unwrap them from the branches. each one. wrapped. around and around.

and I REFUSED to cut them, because it took me hours to tie the fishingline onto them when we decorated the tree.

THEN I had to proceed to get the tree apart, its like an 8ft tree, VERY heavy and VERY full. I cant find a box big enough for it, So, I decided to put it in large garbage bags. I had to tie the branches down, then pull and tug the bags. this took quite a few bags and even more Duct tape.

I finally got it into 3 huge garbage bags.

Then we had to start on the actual house.

But as I write this, I realize, I havent even told you about Christmas!

It was nice. Christmas eve we went to BR's moms, where the kids got their gifts from them, Rayley a jewerly box, the boys a Romo Jersey (the Dallas Cowboys quarterback for you sad folks who dont follow Americas Team) and Bow got an airplane to ride on.







Here he is explain how to get it out of the box....





When my brother and sister in law showed up, The kids got into fine form. They dont have children yet, so they relish in corrupting mine to the fullest extent.
At school Matt has learned some... dancing techniques, I guess you would call them and does them every chance he gets. noone can keep a strait face when he starts doing them. And he dances like that everytime he gets around Amanda and Luke.

The kids also got to open their Christmas eve gifts from BR and I, their PJ's and houseshoes and such. They changed into them shortly after.

And Matt being Matt, he put back on his cowboy boots. cause thats just how he is.



Then he proceeded to dance around - at my sister in laws request I do belive....



Dont ask... I dont know. all I know is- the kid needs some sun on them legs..




When we finally left it was late and Rayley was in the truck whining. She said "ya know, its late and we should be snug in our beds by NOW!"

I had planned on a special Christmas picture of the family that we did when Rayley was a baby. I had talked BR into being Santa at the kids school that year and got some pics of him and the kids.

FINALLY on CHristmas eve night after we got home, I was able to get the picture.



I had gotten my sister in law over early in the evening to take our family portrait infront of the tree. IT didnt turn out well. BR looks like he was snatched off a murderous rampage and shoved in the chair. Of course, he really doesnt have a poker face, so this might be his true feelings about having to take the picture.


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But once we got home I was able to take our santa pics. And Bow LOVES santa. He didnt want me in Santas lap, he didnt want ANYONE but him in Santas lap. He doesnt look happy, but I can assure you, this is his "dont even think about moving me" look.
.

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He was quite disapointed when Santa left to finish his duties.
.

Christmas morning we all woke up, the kids opened presents and then we went to my grandfathers and his moms. We were having fish at his moms for Christmas dinner.


All in all it was a nice Christmas, BR was home and we all enjoyed ourselves.

IN addition to their other gifts, santa also got each kid a card game. One night they were playing poker. Matt had gotten out all his change, and they were playin poker. After a little while Rayley came in here mad as a wet hen. Then she started gripin about the boys, in a way that only an overly dramatic five year old can. something about havin to go 'all in' and loosin all her money. I asked WHY she went all in. "well MOM, its Matts Money and Bretts cards, they said I had to- they were mad cause I was winnin.. I KNOW'D I shoulda folded. Stupid BOYS!"

this is why momma doesnt let the kids HAVE board or card games, they dont play pretty. Sometimes I could just STRANGLE santa.... He even gave Bow a deck of cards. I am not sure why... something about trying to 'even out the gifts'... needless to say, they were all over my floor for about 3 days, till I caught them all asleep and threw them away...

I can say that I despise gift cards, especially given to children. The boys get it, and were happy, Rayley was just confused. and then they spent them on some of the dumbest stuff. They all traded some of it to me for a McDonalds meal, then Brett bought food from the deli with some more of his another time, (they were walmart gift cards) and Rayley and Matt bought toys with part of theirs.




OTher things that have happened this week:


We hatched out baby chicks this week, I tried to put them outside, but I cant keep the brooder a good temp. I was attempting to rig up the light one day, got the drill, and started screwing in a board to hang it off of, when I couldnt get it to grab the screws. THe bit was just ate all up. I was so mad. I had planned to start the kids chicken coop that day too. But couldnt do it with out the drill. Now, I cant imagine why the drill was put up with an ate up bit on it, well yeah, I can, but the bad part is, I cant get the bits out. I am just not strong enough to do it. So that entire plan went down the drain. I was so mad that I swore I would get me a quick connect for the drill and bits to fit it no matter what I had to do to get it. I hate when my plans go awry because of someone else!


The kids also got into an arasol fight. One had deoderant, one hairspray, one athletes feet spray and Bow had a spray water bottle. My house still stinks. Its really never a good idea for me to take a shower. It always ends in disaster. or at the very least with me having a miagraine.



So- as you know, Matt has a slight problem with HIA syndrome. Usually its reserved to you asking him to get you a glass with ice and a Dr Pepper and after 5 minutes you holler and ask where its at and he says "oh THANK YOU, I was wondering why I was in the kitchen holding your glass" Then he brings you back some tea with no ice.
OR my favorite when he comes back empty handed and the dishwasher is now running: "huh? I thought you wanted me to put it in the dishwasher"

And sadly, the kid isnt playing. I mean he isnt mentally challenged, he just doesnt pay attention. I've sent him to the barn, to check on the rabbits and he has came back to tell me there are no eggs. I ask how the rabbits are and he says "I dont know, I didnt check them"
so you ask "WHY"
"well when I got down there, I forgot what I went for, so I just checked the chickens."

OR I will send him with a pot of food down to give it to the hogs,

an hour later I ask him where my pot is. there are usually two places. ONE, he fed the hogs, dropped the pan outside the fence, and walked back home. OR two: he set it down by the door, opened the door, went outside, forgot what he was doing and decided to chase a grasshopper.


Now, most normal people would not rely on him for anything, I am not normal. Dont get me wrong, the kid is QUICK. he is VERY smart, he is just one of those people with his head in the clouds. I mean we call him Christopher around here. After Christopher Walkin. He is notorious for just busting out with some off the wall statement in the middle of anything. Like the family just sitting watching something on TV, and he comes up and says "hey- Did you know Lions dont live in Jungles?"

Now this kid is the clown of the family, always making someone laugh, and he is a mimic on everything, he can do some really good impressions and can quote lines from movies and commercials all day long. even movies he has seen ONCE.

BUT, none of that is really relivant to what I am tellin about today.

My cousin had came over to do my hair, and she washed it in the kitchen sink. Well the next time I was in the shower I rememembered that I had forgotten to bring the shampoo into the shower. So I waited the 3 minutes and 27 seconds it took for one of my children to have some catastrophe that noone except me could solve and when they did I decided I'd catch them and ask them to bring it to me.

It happened to be Matt.
so- this is what transpired.

"hey babe, will you go and get my shampoo out of the kitchen? its by the sink"
"why do you need shampoo?"
"well, I decided to wash the shower walls while I'm in here bathing"
"oh, do you want the pinesol too?"
"nope, the shampoo will do"
and I proceed to stand under the hot water, washing away my troubles and pretending not to hear someone bouncing off the walls.. I think they were throwing ornaments at each other.

"mom- there aint no shampoo by the sink"
"yes there is baby, its called 'mane and tail' its a big white bottle, with a blue lid"
"alright, but I didnt see any, you sure the pinesol wont do?"
"I'm positive"
and I went back to scrubbing. ignoring the slamming front door, just hopin it wasnt Bow going out in the freezing rain with just his diaper on again.

About 5 minutes later he came back. "there is NO shampoo in there, "
"are you looking by the sink? there is a bottle of Ivory dishwashing soap, then on the other side between the sink and a plate with whats left of Bretts cake, there is a big white bottle with a blue lid, thats what I need"
"why aint it in here? aint this where you use it?"
"remember, Pat washed my hair the other day?"
"oh yeah"
So he goes off again, by now I'm runnin out of hot water. But it wasnt long before he was back
"mom, its NOT there" He says with a mouthful of something.
"whats in your mouth?"
"some of Bretts cake"
okay, so he found the cake, maybe it had gotten moved. so I wash my hair with ivory bar soap, remembering how hard it is to get body wash out of it, condition it, and get out of the shower in time to hear a glass ornament shatter, there are only like 10 out of 100 balls on the tree that are glass- Bow always seems to find them to chunk at someone- next thing I know I look down and there is Bow with a belt telling me to go and whoop someone. He doesnt say it, he just grunts, hands me the belt and says "ett". I'm guessin "ett" was not happy with him throwing the ornament and had gotten onto him.

I walked into the kitchen, and then went to retrieve my camera.







Because, there - right where I said it was, was my shampoo.

I called Matt into the kitchen and asked him what that was.
"oh"

I asked him why he couldnt find it.
"I didnt know you meant the KITCHEN sink"
"so I thought back over the entire conversation, maybe he had missed the word kitchen in the first sentence.- so I asked "between the SINK and Bretts cake?- what did that mean? close to the ivory DISHWASHING soap? do we keep that in your bathroom?, There are FOUR sinks in this house. TWO in my bathroom, so those were eliminated strait off, ONE in YOUR bathroom, where we dont keep Ivory DISHWASHING soap OR Bretts cake- that leaves?????"

"well, you still never said KITCHEN its not like I can read your mind"

at this point I just decided to laugh. seriously, what else could you do?


Then fast forward to today. I told the kids that we had alot to do, we had to get the house picked up and everything before we went to town I HAD to get dog food and cat food, even after spending ALL day in town yesterday, I was out. They were NOT on the list. - BUT I did get me a quick connect for BR's drill. AND while I was there, I saw a good price on another drill and flashlight combo and just decided that I did deserve a Christmas present after all. *smirk*

Anyway:

As I was cleaning up the Christmas tree mess, packing it up and getting decorations put away I asked the kids to pick up the livingroom and lets vaccum. I would turn around and they would be watching cartoons. I decided to let them watch the bugs bunny marathon, for one, because you seldom see bugs on TV anymore, its mostly just those stupid cartoons with crummy jokes and worse animation. and because I love them. And, I didnt want the day to be ALL work, we can work and watch TV too right?

Not here.

everytime I turned around, from doing laundry, to pulling Bow out of a toilet full of pinesol (Rayley was cleaning their bathroom... ) they would be sitting watching TV.

"at least get the living room cleaned up so you can vaccum"
"mom, I cant find the vacuum"
"well, if you clean up a little, it will magically appear." I said, looking at it.
After an hour of wressilin the tree, the duct tape and trying to keep Bow from throwing all the ornaments like baseballs, and asking them to vacuum up the broken glass from the tree area about 10 times, I finally lost my cool.

"GET THE VACUUM AND GET IT DONE! I want to set the bags with the tree in it back where the tree was, till I can get it outside, and then we can have enough room in the rest of the living room to get it picked up and vaccumed" I said as I shooed Matt out of my chair where he had been sitting watching TV.

"mom, I really cant find the vacuum. I looked in YOUR room, in MY room, in Rayleys room, its NOT in here! I think you loaned it to someone and you forgot.. like when you lost the tree last month... " (and I didnt LOOSE the tree, I just simply forgot where I had stored it.... )

I looked at him, and he shrugged and said "I promise, its NOT here"

"did you look everywhere Matt?"
"YES"
"what color is it?"
"green" he says like I have lost my ever lovin mind
"how tall is it?"
"bout yeigh high" he says raising his arm up and looking at me funny.
"does it have a long black cord?"
"mooom, what are you getting at?"

"nothing Matt- I am just shocked that I am amazed that you lost the vaccum." and I took out my camera, while sitting IN my chair mind you, and took the following picture, never missing a scene from the Bugs Bunny Cartoon on the TV.... .