Luckily Blessing are not eggs- you CAN put them all in one basket

well a title eludes me-

most times I think of a title and then write. But for the last few days- I just couldn't think of one, and so I didn't write.

Its been kinda hard to write a funny and upbeat blog this week- and noone reads this to get depressed- SO- I have tried to store up some funnies- of course, I cant remember any of them- :)

BUT- lets get the bad part out of the way-

A dear family friend lost his battle with Cancer this week- Him and his wife have been a part of my life for my entire life- they were best friends with my grandparents- Heck, I didn't know we wernt kin till I was grown. Miles Weaver you will be missed-

A wonderful woman who I have known for years lost her newborn baby on the same day. She has known that Faith Renee was going to have a short life outside of the protective embrace of her body, but pre eclemsia moved her due date up 2 months and so she didn't have as much time as she wanted with this darling gift from God. Tonya, Todd and her beautiful girls have shared this awful time with so many of us, showing us what true faith looks like- Its amazing how many lives a baby that's never taken a single breath could touch- but before this sweet angel was even born she had taught more people the true meaning of faith and love then a thousand lectures ever could.

And my great aunt, who has taken care of my uncle and is one of the hardest working women I know, fell and broke her arm- right under her shoulder on Friday night- Due to where its at, they can not set it- I am thankful it wasn't a hip- But, its bad none the less.

now onto the selfish, feel sorry for me, part of my week-


Our calf died- well, she wasn't a calf anymore she was over a year old, but was .... for lack of a better term- mentally insufficient. She was blind, had been since birth, but she also never grew- she looked like a 3 month old calf her whole life.
She was a happy cow- or as happy as one of Gods dumbest creatures could be. She would follow you around, she would love all over you, and she ate like a horse. But there was just something wrong with her. She wasn't being raised as a pet, like everything else here she had a purpose, and that was to nourish our bodies. But since she wouldn't have made a good batch of sawmill gravy we kept feeding her, and wasting the feed.

My kids gave me HELL all week- I mean to the point that I was ready to throw in the towel. because if I didn't throw it down, I was liable to make a hangman's noose out of it. I did come to the conclusion that kids should NOT come with instruction manuals- instead they should come with a lifetime supply of Prozac, duct tape and earplugs.

BR's personal truck has been down for a week or so, which means I have been driving him back and forth. not a big deal, its 8 miles, and honestly, its only an hour or two before I wake up anyway.
Its just the aggravation of knowing that we have a vehicle down.

I faced some disappointment and annoyance at the community/family cemetery this week. Every year we have a cemetery working, lunch business meeting etc. and there is a board who runs the cemetery.

Now, I have been going to this since I was old enough to drive. I went a few times before then- I would come with family members, but I have went since I could drive. My family has been buried there since the 1800's. Well, it never fails, there is always something to argue about, most times I am NOT involved in the actual argument, but will try to explain it so everyone will understand, and everyone there that is over 60 will look at me like I am a 5 year old int erupting a prayer meeting. OH and there are usually 2-3 people there that are not eligible for Social Security.

They cant STAND it when I speak up- and will actually ARGUE with me, when I am trying to help THEM prove THEIR point. They don't listen to one another, they simply wait for the noise to stop and start talking. One year one of them actually had the NERVE to say "let the adults figure this out" Well, we were TRYING to explain to the 'adults' that they had written "you must have a DESCENDANT in this cemetery to be buried here" INSTEAD of : "you must have a DIRECT ANCESTOR in this cemetery to be buried here"
or "you must be a DESCENDANT of someone buried here"

I was NOT a happy camper that day to say the least. BUT, still I go back- BR wont. He says he has no use for the whole deal. But not me- I love my family's history, I respect everything my family did to make this country what it is, and to make me who I am, so I am determined to be a part of their eternal resting place. Now to say the President of the board doesn't like me is an understatement. Oh she plays a good game- Most of the time, but I know that I am NOT her favorite person. Which is fine, I mean if everyone loved me and worshiped me, I would never have any fun pissing someone off. Right? -

Well, My Great Aunt asked me if I would accept a nomination for the board. I said I would. It was for the vacancy that Uncle Miles left. We go today, and there are people there I have NEVER seen show up for working, meetings, or even lunch- But I was just thrilled to see more people getting involved. Like I said, I think I am the only person who comes who hasnt had a knee replacement, hip replacement, or has most of my real teeth-

anyway, we went over some old business, some new business, and got it all straitened out. THEN, it came time to vote- My Aunts hand went up, but she was ignored and someone else spoke. They were nominating someone who had just moved back here from the big city. - Because she worked with computers and ... I dont know what all- I will be honest, I dont know who the woman is, If she has ever been out there, I wasnt introduced to her- I know almost everyone that comes to those meetings, and can pretty much tell you who's graves they descend from. Well once I was nominated, our President went right into a speech about how this was NOT a Ralph Cemetery (my mothers family)- BUT there was already 2 of the 5 people on the board that were Ralphs (my grandfather, and his sister)- and how it wouldnt be right for ME to be on there too- Well, A Byerly donated the land- and to be honest, and like I pointed out- there wasnt really anyone that wasnt kin on that board. its a small community, and folks had lots of kids back then. And if her 'speech' wasnt enough, her sister chimed in. Saying how it wasnt fair. Now, dont get me wrong- when everyone showed up that morning, they knew who they were going to vote for. I have no doubt in my mind. BUT, I am NOT happy about being blindsided with this. I dont believe that this speach just come off the top of her head- and I dont honestly think she cares who I am kin to- any other time you have to BEG someone to get on the board- She just honestly didnt want me on it- And thats fine- but say so- dont give me some cockamamie story about 'kin folks'. This board has been ran with Byerly's and Ralphs, and Dubose's all its eternity. and a few fights have broken out that pitted brother against brother and cousin against cousin- More than one family fued has started out there and would still be going on, if the participants were not permanent residents of there now.

And anyone who knows me - OR has ever been to a meeting out there, will know that I am the FIRST one to argue with MY FAMILY about whats going on. I am the one who calls them out when they get descendants and ancestors mixed up. So honestly, I am not sore about loosing by one vote, I know it was all about who showed up to vote for who, not who would have been the better person for the job. And like I said, I dont even know who the woman is- she wasnt there yesterday for me to 'recognize' her. It was a popularity contest and Unfortunately, my popular vote was kinda cut short, my great aunt had fallen the night before and broken her shoulder- and her husband was with her, other family was tending to the food stuff for the funeral, and a cousin got called in to work, 2 family members thought it was 11:30 and not 10:30 and one lady who was voting for me, got the names mixed up- Michelle and Melissa are quite simmular- especially when you dont hear real well.

And I am not really sore about the whole situation- But it was just one more thing in a pretty bad week.

On our way to the funeral home for visitation we happened upon a wreck- I knew both ladies in the wreck, luckily only one suffered some minor injuries- the other was fine but sore I am sure, But it was still quite disturbing-

THEN, we had Uncle Miles' Funeral- once it was over I was supposed to go back to the church and serve. But as the funeral possession passed my house, my truck decided to overheat and start blowing white smoke- SO- I whipped myself up into my driveway and we tried to find the problem. If I am right, and have diagnosed it correctly, (I aint a diesel mechanic by any stretch) I think its the ERG cooler- which is basically like your appendix, except it doesnt have a purpose at all- except to make some EPA lawyer smile for getting one over on you. anyway- its some piece of crap that cools the exhaust with water from my radiator or some such- and has broken. lucky for ME its BEHIND the freakin engine- we are talking - total truck tear down.

This morning BR was going to take himself to work in my truck- and now the dang thing wont even start- not sure what is wrong. But I am thinking I need to find me a preacher and get healing hands laid on it for sure. The dadgum thing is in that 'limbo' of not being paid off, but not being under warranty...
SO, if anyone has an old Ford truck- one with a carburetor, and gas lines, and a normal engine in- that they wanna sell for a few thousand bucks- please let me know-

But this is supposed to be a funny blog, something to make you glad you have a normal life and dont live in THIS house- amongst all the crazy - and so far all I have done is whine and depress you.

So- I refuse to count my sorrows- (I am running out of fingers and toes ) I just thought it might be therapeutic to get them on paper- Instead I am going to count my blessings- Uncle Miles is NOT suffering any more- Faith gave each of us a look into our own souls, not to mention her family showed us that love CAN overcome even the hardest of sorrows- BR's truck is a Toyota- even with a few hundred thousand miles on it, its got life left- we just gotta get the gas to the engine without a sputter- The calf wasnt getting any bigger, but I refused to admit I had screwed up when I got her- all I could see wast ribeue on the hoof.
Noone was seriously injured IN that wreck- And lots of folks stopped at 5pm on a Friday to help people they didnt know (till we got them out, it is a small town after all)- My truck can be fixed, if not, its not the end of the world, God will show me a way- And I am young- I still got LOTS of years of tending the cemetery left in me- including the graves of those who dont like me.


Lets see- my favorite Uncle Miles and Aunt Lynn story- My grandparents had a 'bar' that we ate at- it was about 4 feet high- and every meal except Thanksgiving was served there- so Aunt Lynn and Uncle Miles were visiting, and all weekend he had been showing off his new fangled hearing aids- And EVERYONE was trying to convince my grandfather he needed to get some too- Well, during breakfast that morning, my grandmother asked if anyone needed anything else- Automatically, Aunt Lynn, who for years had the responsibility of repeating everything said to Uncle Miles because he couldnt hear a buffalo fart, leaned over right in his ear and said rather loudly "DORIS ASKED IF YOU NEEDED ANYTHING ELSE" - Forgetting all about those newfangled hearing aids that he had just spent a small fortune on- and Uncle Miles pert near fell off his chair. I think it was another 15 years before my grandmother convinced my grandfather to get hearing aids. AND I just recently found out that when he does wear them, he turns them off when all my kids come around....






and something my kids did this week- OH Rayley cut Bows hair, on THURSDAY! we had funerals, and everything else- Ugggg-- I dont know WHY she cut it, but she did- So we had to put in an emergency call to our beautician- who luckily is also my cousin, and does housecalls...

OH and Bertha Sue, with her pink hair and her prissy walk, and her eyelashes batting came walking into my house the other day- with a BONE- like a leg bone from something- not huge, but a good foot or so long- and told me she wanted to figure out how to carve something out of it, and make a chair with that pelvis that the dogs drug up. That it would fit in her barbie house and then Ken and Barbie would have a 'trophy' room like other big game hunters- so she could pretend they got to go on safari and hunt.

We argued for about 10 minutes, and finally I put my foot down, said "GET IT OUT OF MY HOUSE" and turned around to walk off, her spitting and sputtering about how mean I was and never let her decorate her own barbie house and .... I dont know something about the world coming to an end and I was the cause of it- blah blah blah- (on a side note, I will get it out of her room this week and throw it on the burn pile-)

So, I come on in the living room, and sit down for a little while- Rayley asked if she could eat something, I told her yes, to wash her hand first- Then, I get the remote and start trying to find something- In comes Miss Priss- sandwich in hand and plops herself down in the chair like she has good sense. - I pay her no mind, instead I turn it on "mounted in Alaska" its a show about a taxidermist who does some amazing mounts.

Next thing I know- Pricess Whinesalot says "REALLY? Mounted in Alaska? I AM trying to eat here ya know!" Like this grossed her out-

she had JUST been involved in disposing of a calf- and toting around a bone from God knows what- wanting to pretend its a trophy for her barbie- (who by the way needs a pink gun I was told.....) and she is offended by a show about tanned leather and plaster forms?? Heck, she was just asking me not too long ago how many rabbits it would take to make a fur coat since she has a sewing machine and all....

NEVER Return to the scene of the crime-

The banquet was a BLAST!

We worked hard but over 14,000.00 was given to our local 4-H group and Police Dept. -







Our day started by putting together and setting up all the merchandise- that's always controlled chaos-

And once the kids get done they are wilder than a band of wild Indians. and somehow someone always gets hurt- First it was Bertha Sue- she hurt her finger, BR took care of it- she went back off to play- THEN the next time it was Brett who came in with blood pouring from his thumb- I was busy doing treasurer stuff and didn't have a band aid, but someone had some electrical tape- and a friend of mine is a taxidermist so we were good to go-






We left there and had to come home to get dressed to go back- Bow was going to stay with my mother in law, but decided he wanted to go with us. Uggggggg NOT what I wanted to do- I am so busy I cant even say hello to half the people I know, and keep up with the older kids- much less keep an eye on a 2 year old who gets bored easily.

We had a great turnout and our 4-H kids helped us SOOO much~! Even Bow went this time- I think he was pretty good- honestly, I am not sure- I saw him running through a few times, dragging a trash can helping out, and one time a friend came by to tell me she had corralled him and redressed him, as he decided it was time to get all comfy and strip down.

Rayley impressed quite a few folks, I had people I didn't know coming up to me and saying "that MUST be your daughter with the pink hair!" when I said "uhhhhhhh... yeah.... " they would say things like "I KNEW it was, she has your same bubbly personality!" or "she is cute as can be! and she looks JUST like you!" " well she is you made over- she had me ROLLING with laughter" or my favorite "I knew she was, she is the sweetest thing, and pretty as a picture"

Now, granted, most of these folks were drunk, but its nice to know she can pull the wool over folks' eyes (and me for that matter) and they think we are nice and funny, and even cute!!

One time a friend that I hadn't seen since High School stopped me- She said "that must be your daughter with the pink hair"
"Yeah, " I said laughing with a scared chuckle
"well she is ADORABLE! I saw her coming out of the bathroom and said 'OMG you have GOT to belong to Michelle Byerly' and she said 'yes ma'am' And she asked if I knew you, and I told her 'yes, we were friends in school' and then she asked if I knew her dad and told her that yes, I knew him from school too. So she looked up at me and said "so you know we Byerly's are not nice people right?"

ROFLMAO! I swear, you NEVER know what my kids will say-

But I did get compliments on my kids all night- I was very proud- they were polite, and helpful, and worked hard.

Anyway, BR and I found a few things we were interested in, put our raffle tickets in the buckets, prayed for the best and went to work. AND LORD did we work. He had to rebox all the guns, and I was at the check in/checkout table.

Then as the night was winding down, they started drawing the raffle tickets- we got an adorable coat rack with the NRA stamped on it and the hooks are shotgun shells.

BR got a gun bag for the new .22 off the silent auction table, and then they did the 5 gun draw. I almost died when they called out our name second! we had won the Henry Golden Boy .22!! I have always wanted one of these- they are SOOOO pretty!! And I am laying claim to it- since the guys got that ugly Smith and Wesson 10-22 thing the other day.

THEN, some friends of ours won the last gun of the night- a Kimber pistol! I was pleased that 2 of the 250 raffle tickets I sold won guns- I thought that was a pretty good average.

Yesterday we did NOTHING- I barely even cleaned the house- I just did what was necessary to get by, we had gotten home well after midnight and didn't fall into bed until after 2am. We have to clean up the venue before we leave, and get all the trash gathered up and such, plus count all the money, tickets etc. So, its a long night. You should see my poor truck, I bet there are 12-14 60 gallon bags in it. PLUS about 45 broken down boxes. We had to put straps across the stuff to keep it in the back while I drove home!

Even Bow helped us with the trash- and he was still going strong at 1:30- I mean STRONG!

Of course, like every other week, it had to come to an end- one minute we were enjoying being lazy and doing nothing, and the next, it was 2am Monday morning and BR had to go to work! His Toyota is messed up again, (if anyone wants a good mechanic, holler at me- I will tell you which one is NOT), and so I am driving him to his job- its only 8 miles, so its not like its hard.

Anyway- This morning at 2am I got up and drive BR to work, I was worried about loosing a bag of trash, I had lost one somewhere on the way home we thought, but as I came back to the house from his job I didn't see any bags, so I decided I was safe.

THEN, BR texted me- said "there is a bag of trash at the river bridge on 63" well, that's the way we came home Saturday night- SO I jumped in my truck, still in my Chip and Dale fluffy sleep pants and shirt, hair all a mess, no makeup and head out to pick up trash on the side of the road, at 2:30 AM.

I got there, got turned around, got the bag of trash, tried my hardest to put it in the back and just couldn't make it fit. SO, I threw it in the backseat, jumped back in the truck, looked in my side mirrors, because the trash in the back of my truck is stacked WELL over the cab, I cant see out the back glass- SO, I looked out my side mirror, went to turn off my hazards and pull out and what is behind me? A county Mounty... yep- the police, with their lights a spinnin and the spotlight shinin....

well hell.

So- I jumped out- IN my blue and pink chip and dale, sleepwear, hoping like heck that I wasn't in the wrong place at the wrong time, and there hadn't been a person stealing trash from folks houses and then driving up and down the highway throwing it out and I was gonna get confused with them.

The passenger of the police car got out, mag light shining, like the spotlight, headlights and flashing red and blue lights were not enough to identify me-

So, I start trying to explain exactly WHY I am in the middle of the road road at 2:30AM in my Pjs'. Looking like something the cat dragged in and the dog didn't want.

I recognized the cop right away, and just hoped he did me- He did. and as I was telling my story, 'had all this trash from the banquet, waiting on the dump to open, BR passed by in his 18 wheeler and saw the trash, he texted to tell me I had dropped a bag, I came to get it, blah, blah, blah, he said "Michelle?" I said "YEP!:) " "Girl, I just cant believe someone would come back to pick it up! Especially at 2 in the morning! I would have told BR what he could do" He said they wouldnt have ever known who did it-

Honestly, I had every intention of picking up anything I dropped- I was just glad that it wasnt like last year, when it was boxes and Styrofoam that was flying everywhere- And I was glad BR had saw it and called me. But I figure that its JUST my luck that I see 2 cars in the 45 minutes I was on the highway, and ONE happens to be a COP! The three of us agree'd - you should NEVER return to the scene of the crime, thats how they catch ya!!

I loaded myself back up, and came home-

why must everything run on batteries?

My kids never get sick- oh I hear the 'my stomach hurts' all the time, for which I usually tell them the age old remedy for. And they do get migraines, which they COULD avoid if they tried, all of their triggers are obvious and usually avoidable. But they just dont get SICK- the other morning I am sitting here in my recliner, Bow is in his usual place, kinda behind my left shoulder because I am kinda twisted around playing on the computer. all of a sudden I hear "mom, me not feel good" and then it hit me between the shoulder blades, and proceeded to roll all the way down my back, and INTO my pants. I couldnt even move. Then it hit me, and I hated to laugh, I mean there is a miserable 3 year old beside me saying "i sorry oma, i sorry" but I couldnt help it, I had to laugh- IT went DOWN my pants. So, then you have to make the decision, do you run with your baby to the toilet, get a warm washrag and wipe him down, pamper him and love on him, while you see if there is anything else left in his tiny little tummy waiting to be expelled, OR do you get up and go strait to YOUR bathroom and strip, then jump in a hot shower? Well, being the loving and devoted mom I am- I said "ohhh baby, its okay- do you need to puke some more?" "do you feel better??" "Momma's not mad baby-" as I was walking quickly to the shower, shucking clothes as I went.


The day got better from there- Nothing as bad- but just a thousand little things that when added together make you want to sit in a dark room in the fetal posistion, rocking back and forth, while sobbing uncontrolably and cursing the day you were born.

BUT- even in the face of ALL the adversity, I havent had a cigarette!!

And if being puked on wasnt enough to send you to the nearest store to buy a carton of poison laden tabacco wrapped in paper dipped in arsnic, my darling mother in law was nice enough to buy my children a 'paper jamz' - NOW, if you dont know what this is, its a cardboard guitar, that takes batteries and you 'play' it. Its loaded with rock songs. So far I have only heard ONE I recognize, 'rockstar ' by Nickleback. The rest are some God Awful headbanging crap that I wouldnt have listened to if Bon Jovi or Axel Rose had been singing it. None of the 4 play the same songs, and for a peice of paper they are extreamly loud. VERY loud. I cant wait for one of the dogs to accidentally tear them up. Unfortunatly, they have managed to take better care of these cheap miagraine inducers then they do their own computers. THis is how China is going to take over the world- By all these toys they are sending over here at cheap prices, and gullible americans are buying up left and right while waiting on their prozac prescriptions from the pharmacy to get ready. Because no sane person could purposly allow these noisemaking, nerve grating toys into their home unless they were under a pharmasutical induced cloud of 'happy'. But you mark my words- "noisy annoying toys from China are the downfall of American Freedom - everyone with a child between 2 and 25 is admited to mental hospitals begging for shock therapy" will be the headline in a newspaper one day.

Our banquet for the Friends of the NRA is tomorrow night- I just am amazed at how quickly time flies by. The next two days are going to be quite busy- we set up tonight and then tomorrow we put together all the merchandise and at 5:30 we open the doors.

just normal boring days around here-

well, I have already let myself slide-

Its hard to come in here and write like I used to- I guess because everytime something strikes me as funny, I put it on facebook, so I fiqure there is no sense in writing it here too-

I will work on that- either stop posting on facebook, or start watching the kids closer to get double the tales to tell....

Today we went to a gunshow- I got to drive- BR does NOT like my driving. AT ALL. you know those cartoons where the wife is griping about the husbands driving? or all the sitcoms where she sits there and harps on him the entire time? thats my truck- But I am driving- He used to make me so nervous that I would be a basket case before we got the 20 miles into town. But in the last year I have gotten to where I handle it better. Used to I couldnt even relax- now I am able to sit back and drive.
Anyway- we all loaded up today and drove a few hours to a gunshow- Nothing like taking MY kids to a place that has nothing but guns and knives. they were IN HEAVEN! I bet we walked around that place 8 times. Even Bow was good- and everyone had to comment to Rayley about her pink hair- which she loves.

we didnt find what we were looking for there- So we went on to Academy and got the new gun. When we got home I dont even think the kids came in the house- they went strait to the shooting lane to try it out.

They are doing shooting sports again, and its shotgun season right now- The boys did real well- although, at one point, I was busy- I was in charge of handing out ammunition to all the kids, and they had started shooting- Next thing I hear is Brett saying "Mom, MOM, MICHELLE" -
"what?"
"Hoover just got one!"
well, for me thats not news- they do it here all the time- so, me, being the supportive and loving mom I am says " way to go boy, momma's proud" and gave him an exaggerated thumbs up. Everyone thought this was funny- to which Brett proceeded to tell me that was NOT right- and it was embarrassing when I did that-

Uhhhhh-- he was the one HOLLERING for me, to tell me that Hoover had got one. like it was the first time he ever held a shotgun.

I just laughed and told them that was what I was there for- to embarrass them, and that I was glad I was doing my job to the utmost of my ability.

BUT, that wasnt the best 'part'- While the big kids are shooting, the young kids play in the dirt- Well, its another young boy thats about Bow's age, and another girl thats Rayley's and a few in between.

The younger kids were between me, (and I was up with the shooters) and the other moms who were at the lines of cars- The moms started laughing, and calling my name- Come to find out- The treat that I always buy for the kids on the way to shooting sports is going to have to cease. -- See, I always get them a soda, its once every two weeks and I fiqure it wont hurt. WELL- it wouldnt if Bow had ANY modesty or home training. which after last Thursday I have come to understand he has neither of.

This child just gets the urge to pee, so he stands up, and lets loose- the kids have to cover up the wet spot and move down to fresher dirt.

UGGGGGGG I swear I teach my kids manners! And really try to work hard with them. I tell them, "dont pee off the front of the porch by the steps, go down to the edge, where it doesnt matter if you kill the grass"


THEN, at the end, I am giving directions for the kids for our next fundraiser, and the other little boys mom is standing back there, jumping up and down, calling my name again. I am standing on a trailer, trying to look everyone in the eye; working to get all the information out there, and express how important this even is- and she is laughin her head off and jumping up and down. HE WAS DOING IT AGAIN!!

OMG! SO, all these folks that dont know what he had been doing are paying attention to me, and he is 10 feet behind them, and I cant help it- I have to scream "BOWDRIE MARSHALL!" yep, everyone turned around and saw him....

I am very lucky that for the most part the folks out there are country folks too- so, at the very least they have all had a relative who has no couth and can deal with it just smiling at each other and saying "bless her heart" and letting it go.

BUT, we did have some new kids out there- I hope their parents were not traumatized too badly.

I have been busy with cakes lately- unfortunately, Business is fixing to taper off quit quickly- I am going to have to significantly raise prices. Its a shame, I would love for everyone to have a really cool cake for a cheap price, but I just cant keep doing them for free.

I have been smoke free for 41 days now- and I STILL love it. There is nothing more exhilarating than to know I can live my life without a cigarette. and today, on the way home, I was having breath holding contests with Brett! I dont know how good I did- because it started annoying BR while I was driving and he took away our stop watch. LOL If you know someone who needs to quit, please look into a personal vaporizer, or ecig. its amazing- just dont buy the crappy ones at a gas station- they aint worth it- for not much more you can get something MUCH better!

The farm is pretty normal, we have lots of hogs we need to butcher, but its way too hot- and I have a beautiful smokehouse that we still havent gotten to use.

Today marked the first day of squirrel season, so the boys will be changing up their schedule a little- now, its going to be:
up before dawn,
take the dogs hunting,
come home and feed
THEN start school.

This will last maybe a day- they HATE getting up early. And honestly, I'd rather have an hour or so to myself before they DO wake up.

Although they do love any opportunity to head to the woods- especially if there is hunting involved! They have been rabbit hunting the last week or so- its a night time thing, so they REALLY love that- no 8:30 bedtime- But they HATE the 6am wakeup call!! I keep telling them "it doesnt matter HOW late you go to bed, you STILL have to get up in the morning to wake up the chickens!"

Easter was great- All my inlaws came over and watched the kids hunt eggs, and we all visited on the porch for a while- and we finally got some rain last week- and hail!

Now, I am fixing to make BR's breakfast and lunch, set the computer to download some drivers for the printer and pray that makes it do wireless printing!

I have worked on making it be wireless for days now- And I can NOT get them to pair up. I am afraid that the only way I will get them paired up is to literly shove the computer INTO the printer and throw them BOTH out the window.

Remember me?

Okay, its been a year- I cant believe its been an entire year- All I can say is Facebook spoiled me.

I still tattle on my kids, I just do it in 140 char. or less now.

BUT, I will also do a quick recap for everyone- in the last year:

*Rayley has become a full time homeschool child
*Bow has grown so much- he can spell his name and CAT and DOG
*We got 3 new dogs, 2 grown squirrel dogs and one new puppy
*My cake buisiness has really blossomed- I did 74 cakes last year- I averaged making 4.63 on each cake- BUT, I enjoyed it. I have done 20 or so this year too.
*Brett got bit by a coral snake- it was a dry bite, but beings how its the most poisonous snake in these parts so he was very lucky.
*BR went to work on the worst day of the year, (it never snows or ices in Jasper) and fell 25 feet down a set of metal stairs and pulled his pinky finger off.
* I quit smoking- a few times, but this last time its stuck- (I am VERY proud of this) and instead I use a personal vapor -
*our farm has grown by about 10 pigs, a feinting goat and did we have the blind calf last time I blogged?
*The kids got to butcher their first hog with Rayley and Bow right in the middle
* We butchered our second set of broilers- This time Rayley got to help AND I have Video to prove it-
*Brett killed his first AND second deer- at the same time-
*I took my conceal Carry class- and passed! I shot that target UP!
*Brett learned how to pull a piglet during birth
*Hoover kept us laughing-
*Rayley has PINK hair on purpose
*I got a beautiful new porch
*I built a really cool smokehouse
*The boys got new bows for Christmas, Rayley got her pink .22 and Bow- who knows what that child got-
*My boys are as big as I am- (that might not be saying much- ) Rayley still hasnt grown into her feet and Bow is.... well Bow- They have changed alot in the last year- BUT are still the same kids- They have grown alot, but still work the ONLY nerve I have left- They are getting more mature every day, and yet I swear I will never get them grown enough to subject the world to them.
*The boys brought home 2 pups who destroyed my AC ducts during the hottest days of the summer-
*Bow decided to start using the toilet for its inteded use and not as a bathtub.
*I destroyed BR's tractor-
*I became addicted to games on facebook and cant stop






Honestly, I dont know what all has happened- its been a fast and fun year- one I wish I had blogged about, because already I am forgetting what happened-

We are hitting the preteen years on the boys, Rayley is becoming more of a drama queen, and Bow is.... well BOW- mean as a snake and smart as a whip and is always into something.

I will try my hardest to get back into the swing of things- start writing again- maybe relate a few of the stories from the last year before I forget them. And hope to entertain you again for years to come!

BUT, right now we have to get ready for Church- OH thats another thing- and very possibly the most important- all 3 of my older childern gave their life to the Lord and were saved this year- They are a true blessing and if we can all survivie their raising, I think they might make some good people-



Ya know, there have been a hundred times I came in here to blog, but I would say "well crap, I cant tell this story without telling the story about XX and YY" and dont have time for that- SO- I wouldnt do it. I wish I had- But now I am taking the plunge and WILL start back.


Thanks for always reading, Thanks for asking me when I was going to blog again, and most of all, thanks for taking the time to read about my crazy life-

what came first? the chicken or the dyed egg?

Hope you had a Great Easter!! We did.



I decided, like I do every year to let the kids dye eggs. I had no more than got the viniger in the second cup with the color tabs and hear the boys laughing. I turn around and there is Bow, with red lips.. spitting... He had decided to 'taste' it. THEN before I could put water in the first 3 cups, Bow spilled the first one. Green. ALL over everything.

But we got the 36 eggs done. and Bow only spilled 3 cups of color.








I have been trying to get back to church for a while now, Sundays are just such a hard day on us if thats the day BR takes off. We just have so much to do. But with him taking off during the week now we are able to squeeze a few hours out on Sunday and this one happened to be Easter. Come to find out our church was having a dinner, egg hunt and fun day. The congregation was asked to bring candy filled eggs and desserts or chips, the church was providing hotdogs or hamburgers. So, I found out Saturday afternoon about it. And I cant go somewhere and bring all my kids and not contribute, so I decided to make a cake. I didnt have any of the stuff I use normally, so I had to impervise. I knew what I wanted, and managed to get a presentable facsimile.

Two things that to me scream Jesus and my love for him are the old rugged cross and dogwoods. So I used both in my cake.



The bottom tier is white cake with buttercream frosting, the top teir or cross is white cake with handpainted fondant. As are the dogwood flowers.

Sunday morning the heathens got their baskets.




When we got there I took the cake to the ladies who were getting the cooking started. They loved the cake and asked if they could auction it off. I didnt know there was an auction, so I said it was given to the church, to do as they wished. They decided to auction it.

Church was wonderful, so many souls were given to the Lord, and the love was beautiful. The food was good enough to eat, and the kids had so many eggs to hunt that they couldnt carry their baskets! The auction was going great, it was for relay for life, and there was some good money being raised. Then it came time for my cake. The lady who was labeling everything didnt know who I was so the auctioneer asked who made it.
Well, my eldest, who never misses an oppertunity to speak; spoke.

"MY MOM"
"who?" said the auctioneer
"Michelle Byerly" said big mouth
"well Michelle Byerly, can you tell us whats in it?"
so I started talking, from the back, where I was hiding. But he couldnt hear me, so Brett took over.
I guess the auctioneer was impressed with him, so he told him to auction it off. Brett was so proud!

The man who bought it in turn gave it back to the kids. That was mighty nice of him. Un-needed, BUT nice. LOL

Once we left there I called my sisterin law and mother in law and told them we were on our way. So they got the Easter Bunny to get busy. When we drove up they and my brother in law were there. The kids were almost too tired to hunt them. Seriously. I am VERy lucky that my brother in law and sister in law were there to follow the Easter Bunny around, because they could remember where those eggs were. Where as when it was my mother in laws turn to follow, she failed to remember.. So, the kids gave up after about 33 of the 50 plus eggs were found. (we had some plastic eggs too). Then it turned into an Easter egg hunt for the adults.




We also had two new chicks hatch out that day!!

BR was off on Wend. and told me to get the stuff ready, we were going fishing. OH JOY. We let Rayley skip school too, since she only sees her dad for about 3 hours a week on his one day off.. She is in bed when he comes home all the rest of the time.
Dont get me wrong, I love the serenity of fishing. The quietness, the peacefulness, the fun competition that BR and I have with it. We have spent many an hour fishing together. I dont mind the dirt, the smell, (well except stink bait... ), the worms, can bait my own hook, unhook my own fish, and undo most of my own tangles. Till BR decides he can do it better and takes it away. But fishing with kids is... differnt.
Especially four of them..


BR had one thing he had to do before we got started, he had to tote some dirt for my great uncle. So the kids and I drove to the pond and sat around. Finally, when I knew that BR was close to being done, I told them to unload the chairs, poles, and tackle box.

Kids being kids they just couldnt resist wetting the hook, so Brett threw his over the dock railing. That is when I knew the day had just went to hell. because he had no sooner than dropped that hook in, then he had a bite.
I kid you not. there was NO bait on it. NOTHING. just a hook!

I knew then and there that I was NOT going to let them start before I had another able bodied adult beside me.

When he got there, I did Bow's first, and the kid has never seen a fishing pole before today. But he took to it like..well, a fish to water. It didnt take him 2 seconds to start screaming "got un" and he was right! I didnt even have Rayley's hook baited yet..





Now Rayley had decided she was NOT going to use a worm. She will play with worms, but she wasnt gonna squeeze ones guts out she said. OH WE could bait it with a worm, but she wasnt.

So, I got to bait her hook too, till I dug through the tackle box and found some fake hot pink maggots. She LOVED those, and started baiting her own hook. Now the first fish she caught, like 45 seconds after we got there, I took off, but with everyone catching them so quick, and having to even help the boys out at times because of the way the fish were taking the hook, I finally told her that if she was going to fish, she was gonna do it all. So she decided to learn to get it off the hook her self..



















Bow wouldnt touch one to save his life. he kept saying 'bite me' thinking it would bite him. It was just little perch, although some were real good frying size.








We put the first 30 or 45 minutes 'handsized' catch's on the stringer to just take a picture of. And threw back 30 that were smaller. Then we quit keeping them. we told the kids that they were all too small and threw back the strung ones too. manyof them were great eating size, but we just honestly didnt want to clean them.






We did this for about 4 hours. Just constant, bait, hook, reel. The boys and even Rayley for the most part were self sufficiant, exept for all the trees, and each other that they kept hooking.

I even stopped baiting Bow's line to try and save myself the headache. But Bretts first fish was not a fluke. They would still bite the empty hook. LOL

Finally it was time to go home. I started gathering everything up and the kids helped.

***Now, as I am writing this blog I said to myself "self, where in the HELL is the camera?- you cant blog about this with out pictures-" and self said "why sweetie, I dont have a clue. Wonder where you put it?" actually, self was NOT that nice.. But this blog is family friendly....

So Me and Self started looking.. we couldnt find it.. We looked in the truck, in the armsof the chairs, in the house.... finally I told self that she needed to go back to the pond and look. cause I'm pretty sure the moron left it on the tire of BR's tractor when we were getting ready to go.. You know, to keep it out of little dirty grubby hands??..... yep..
Well, Self refused to go. So I did. Down the highway, down the lane past my garden, through the hay pasture, past the blueberry patch, into the woods and to the serene little hole where the pond is on my aunt and uncles land...



and guess what I found?? I can tell you this, I could just kick myself...

If you dont know, on Wend night, it rained over an inch and a half. and BR's tractor tires are HUGE.

Amazingly, it survived.. and it will still take a picture.. I dont know if the pictures will ever be good, or right, but it will work...

****** Confession over. back to your regularly scheduled program. which is NOT supposed to make ME look like an idiot. *************


Thursday my grandfather and his wife had offered to come over and help us process the 20 broilers we had left.

when I got Bertha Sue and the boys up that morning, her to go to school and them to feed, she was NOT going. I told her she had to. If she didnt she wouldnt be able to go to the zoo next week. That the truency officer would call the cops on me and I'd have to homeschool her too.

So she started to sulk. AND cry. and beller. When I asked why she said "I'm not gonna learn how to kill a chicken- then I'm gonna grow up and be useless!! Its not fair!!"

I assured her that there would be plenty of time for her to learn. But she wasnt convinced.

I honestly have never butchered a chicken before. Deer, squirrel, Rabbit, coon, snake, fish, all of that I can do- I was sick when our family helped my cousin do his. and although we knew the general way to do it. I did want guidence. AND I wanted my birds to still be whole, like you buy at the store, not cut from sternum to pelvis.

And wanted to know how to kill them by watching, not just being told. So he showed the boys how to wring their necks, we dipped them in hot water, plucked, and seared off the hairs and feathers, then we gutted them and put them on ice. It was really not hard work. And the boys really did work. I was proud of them. In the next day or two we will get together again and my grandfather is going to show me the best way to actually cut up a chicken. I get mystery peices.

But in the end, we got over 100 lbs of chicken. each bird weighed anywhere from 5 to 6 pounds after butchering. Thats not bad.

Poor Bertha Sue came home right as the last bird was being cleaned out. She missed all the 'learning and fun' as she called it. BUT, she did promptly offer up a solution. She wanted to kill her daddys big rooster. When I told her she could, if she could catch him and then we'd show her how. She counter offered with getting her BB gun and taking care of it. But she wasnt getting close enough to lay hands on him till he was dead as a doorknob. I declined the OH so tempting offer. One day he will be in the stew pot though, cause that is one mean clump of feathers.

Bow is still taking care of his ducks, EVERY day he tells me he needs to feed them. And I actually had to start buying him green beans to feed them with. At first the kids all claimed a duck. But I think they have pretty much decided they just all belong to Bow. Of course they might be the only thing on the place, save the dogs that are safe from us. NOONE I know eats duck. Its ALL dark meat, and quite greasy.. I've heard that wild duck is good, the breast, cooked on a pit. But I aint willin to chance it. Hunting duck is expensive.

Of course, when the kids asked me the other day if we were gonna start raising ducks and butchering them, and I told them no- that the ducks, horses and dogs are about all that was safe around here- one of them, little miss darling to be specific said "well, I aint too sure about the dog part" .....

I think I just ate a ......

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testical...

seriously. THIS is what I heard at the dinner table tonight. Seriously.

BUT, let me rewind a few days..

The kids are talking to me again- Thats a good thing.
mostly.

On Friday morning we got up early, loaded up our chickens and went to the fatstock show.

We were the last to check in, and Bretts birds were accepted. One of Matts had a broken wing- dont ask me why this matters, ALL they check is the breast. thats all they even touch. The drumsticks dont matter, noone eats the wings, they dont even LOOK at them. BUT, we had to grab an alternate. It wasnt as good of a bird, but it made a trio.

We were brought in in waves of 10 and there were 30 kids showing. Of course, we were the last ones in the ring.

Here is what you do, you walk in with your 3 birds, and 2 people who either love you too much to say no, or owe you a REALLY big favor. You take these birds, that weigh between 8 adn 10 lbs, and you hold them up. You hold them with one hand, by the feet. Upsidedown, breasts out. And you want to hold them up chest high for the judge. Now if you dont think this gets hard, try holding a frozen turkey up by one hand for 3 hours. OH and while you are doing this, have someone stand behind a counter and occasionally lob globs of slime at you. 'cause chickens are NOT discresionary eliminators. Matter of fact, in my experience, in that very small brain that a chicken has, it has just a few functions, EAT, attack if its a rooster, and poop. EVERYwhere. And if you are holding it upside down, the poop CAN defy gravity.

Okay, so it wasnt 3 hours, but he had 30 kids and all 30 kids had 3 birds each.
He was kinda placing them as he went. And Brett quickly moved up past Matt. Then he moved up past the next kid. Then finally the judge sent some kids to the end of the line. Then he kept moving Brett up. He even took him and his birds (and his birds handlers) all the way across the ring and compared his birds to the ones at about halfway down. We got excited for a minute. He felt up one bird, then the other, then the other, and on and on. FINALLY he put Brett back in line. where he was to start with.










when it ended the kids were in 28th place for Matt and 21st place for Brett. We could have done so much better if we had guidence from the start, but our Guardian angels didnt know we needed help till 3 weeks in. And we did real good once they got here. He helped us ALOT. We would have never even made it to the ring if we hadnt gotten that help. We didnt make sale, and the kids didnt get to do showmanship, but we did learn, we did finish the project, and we now know what to do next year. PLUS, my kids have more knowledge about chickens and how they come to be on your dining room table.




Ours were not as big as some, but the judge said they were nice. He liked one of Bretts alot, but you need to have 3 great ones.

Once we were elminated from the ring we looked at the rabbits, and then the hogs, then not knowing what else we had to do, ( stay, listen, sign out, do showmanship-??) since thats something they dont tell you when you are getting ready for show- I guess they think everyone just knows.... we started home.

Once we got home, we had a dead bird. And one that was dying. They stress really bad, and are not the healthiest of animals, I mean you are putting 8 pounds of meat on them in 6 weeks- so they will have heartattacks pretty easy. So the boys decided to butcher them. They also got two roosters that were not in my laying flock and should have been butchered the weekend I got so sick. The general rule of thumb when harvesting chickens is- do as many as you can, cause if you do one, or you do 20, you are going to have a MESS.

They did all of it. They killed them, plucked them, and cleaned them. Their daddy had given them their pocket knives that morning to carry at all times, so they got to use those. And we gave some guidence where we could.

Getting your pocket knife as a country kid is a very important time. Its like getting your first gun. We had never let them have them before because we really couldnt trust that they wouldnt bring them to school. Or loose them since they wouldnt be keeping up with them all the time. But he decided the time was right. And it was. You dont know how often you pull out a pocket knife when you are outside working. And yes, I carry one most of the time.

Once the kids got done with the butchering, and we got done seperating the seed peas from their hulls we headed to the gardens to plant the 10lbs of corn.

I am not sure how many rows we got. I lost count after the 11th row. But I know it was alot. cause I had to walk behind the planter every step of the way. And its not a brisk walk. Its a slow, tedious walk, constantly watching the ground. Walking in tilled ground. Our planter is about 50 years old, and sometimes it has issues. When your driving the tractor you dont know that the gears have stopped and your not planting.

Oh and I got to carry Bow- about halfway through the corn my grandfather came and got him. He had fallen asleep and never even knew I transfered him, but I was SSOOOO relieved. Talk about deadweight!

Towards the end I decided to take a break, and told Hoover to watch the chains. Its like bike chains that turn the fertilizer hopper and the seeder.

Matt did about half a row, and I walked back to the tractor and jumped on to talk to BR. I was sittin on the hood and next thing I knew Hoover was sittin on the planter. I told him that was fine, but he better watch the one chain, I'd watch the other. At the end of the rows BR would pick up the planter and then set it back down when he lined back up. this was fun, so Brett decided to join Hoov.





We got to the last row and BR happened to ask "everything okay back there?"
well I looked behind us and could see right off that no, one was not spinning. Then we had to find out where we had stopped.

this entailed walking back down the rows and digging it up till we found corn. It was 3 rows back.

We fixed that, and again, I had to start walking. IT was NOT fun. By the time we were done I was dusty, and my feet hurt so bad that I didnt think I could put one in front of the other to walk anywhere else.

We came home, fed and relaxed the rest of the day. Usually we try to clean at least one of the stalls or coops a day- we decided to skip it. LOL And we REALLY needed to casterate the meat hogs. But, just didnt have the energy. If you dont cut them, they can make the meat taste bad, and they dont grow out as quickly. A cut animal puts on more weight quicker. And like I said, the testosterone being gone will make the meat taste better.

The boys decided to cook breakfast one morning for me. The night before I had kinda fallen asleep early, I try to wait till BR gets home around 10-11. But I had a fever and just didnt feel good. The next morning I got up, got Rayley headed to school, BR's lunch cooked and them awake to feed. Next thing I know the smoke alarms are waking me up. Now they have cooked breakfast before, so they know how. But our alarms are VERY sensitive. They didnt burn anything, they just got too much smoke going I reckon.

Then, yesterday morning I had sent them out to feed around 6. Next thing I know its pert near 9 and they were still gone. So I set off the truck alarm. We had to start school AND they still had their chores in the house to do. Like gathering up laundry, making the bathroom presentable, etc.

They came up to the house, out of breath. I asked what they were doing. THey had found a rich lighter pine stump in the woods and as a suprise were chopping it up to use in the BBQ pit. That was soo sweet. Except I knew they were stalling, not wanting to get their day started. But they did chop me up a 5 gallon bucketfull.

We ran to town yesterday and got some WHite Oak saplings, I think there is about 100 of them, to put out. We got them through our local NWTF chapter.

And once we got home it was feeding time and time to start supper. We needed to fry up the chickens that were in the fridge. So we fed everything, (roughly 91 animals. ya know- thats ALOT of poop...) and then I was messing with the horses that we are boarding and Bow was putting water in the stock tank. The boys had ran off to the edge of the clearing about 25 feet away. Then I hear:
"There it comes!"
"well STOP it"
"I'm TRYING"
"okay I got it!"
"what is it?"
"I dont know"

I asked what kind of snake they had- they said it was a big un. That does NOT tell me much.
Then, it started into some underbrush, at this point Brett grabbed the tail, it whipped around to hiss and strike him. But he was quick.

They killed it and brought it to us. I told them to feed it to the hogs, we had to get supper on the table. Fryin chicken is NOT a quick meal.

Plus its not good to let Bow see you playin with a 'nake' as he calls them. He doesnt have the sense to kill it first.

So they came in and washed up. Brett cut up the chickens and proceeded to fry it. Matt was helping, but then he disapeared. Come to find out he hadnt fed the snake to the hogs after all and had it placed infront of the steps with a string on it to pull it in front of his dad when he got home. I dont know how that turned out since I was supervising the cooking. I helped them make a couple of pans of biscuts and BR came home. He had ran out of hours he is allowed to be on the road and got to come home early- so we all sat around talking.

Rayley finally made it home- she had been with my mother in law after school and they had to run some erronds. Then my MIL's truck broke down. which we need to go and get fixed this morning. its just a belt and the pully arm. Anyway Bow told his
all about his day. In his own language.
Every day he feeds his ducks. I give him a bowl of green beans and he heads out and hand feeds the 4 babies. He cant count past 3, so when you ask him how many ducks he has he will put up his fingers and with the first finger say "un, ooo, ree," and then another finger and say "un". He also told his daddy the story of killing the 'nake'. Without words he uses alot of hand and body motion.

Finally around 9 supper was ready. mashed taters, gravy (which I had to make, cause noone else around here can) biscuts and fried chicken.

I am very proud of my boys. They raised these birds from a day old. they kept them warm, they fed them, cleaned up after them, watered them, then they butchered them, cleaned them, and prepared them. I know grown folks who couldnt do that. And they were good. If you've never had a fresh chicken, you should do everything you can to get one. They are VERY good. you would be suprised at how bland a store bought chicken is. I reckon somehow they take every bit of the meat taste out of them at the plant.


Anyway, the meal started off like they all do, with the prayer- which Rayley likes to say. Bow likes to say it too. And sometimes we let him. But if someone else is saying it, he will cross his little hands and talk along with the one giving Thanks. Some of the words are legible. And if he thinks you are going on too long, he will start throwin out an Amen, to speed you up. I need to record it one day.

Then we ate. Everyone was talking about differnt things, we discussed the math and history the boys are learning, Rayley talked about school, and Bow smeared food on everything. We do have protocol as to what can be discussed at the dinner table. I dont like potty humor. PERIOD. Now, we will talk about chores we have to do on occasion, mucking stalls, etc, but for the most part, I just want normal conversations.
We all ate so much we were having a hard time moving, and were starting to get up and clear away stuff when Rayley took her last bite.

She screwed up her face and said "I think I just ate a testical"

We didnt gasp, we didnt freak out. This was one of those moments when you dont even laugh, you just tear up. You need to laugh so hard you cant. One of us managed to say "what?" and she said "Really! Its hard and nasty!" So, amid wiping tears, and laughing BR said "I think you meant 'grissle'."