Today I went to a funeral for a baby girl- Faith Renee Hancock- the newborn daughter of Todd and Tonya. I cant express how sad I am for them and their families. As I was driving to the funeral, in my pretty pink and green and yellow flowered dress, because they asked us to wear spring colors, I saw people all around, on their horses riding, on their lawnmowers, at the farmers market, getting gas in their 4wheelers or boats, or at a car show in down town Jasper, with a bouncy house and festive atmosphere- and I couldnt help but be mad at everyone- for going about their day and their lives, while quite a few of the people of this town were going to a cemetary to lay a baby to rest- the hardest thing a family can do- We were going to witness it, we were going to share it in, and these people were just going about their lives like nothing had happened.
I was SO mad at them. And I was jealous- A beautiful spring day, and I was going to witness every parents worst nightmare. Be a part of every grandparents worst day. And they were enjoying life, or going about their mundane chores like someone's world wasnt ending.
And then I realized, we all do it- every second of every day- there is someone with their greatest triumph and someone suffering their greatest loss- while we are whooping and hollering and having a blast, someone else is sad and lonely and desperate for the hurt to go away. So, try to remember that- sometimes the lady in walmart who runs out in front of you with her buggy isnt doing it to be rude or disrespectful, she is just thinking back to watching all those pretty pink balloons lift off from a sad muddy graveyard and float to the heavens with a prayer for a baby who never felt the sunshine.
The service was beautiful, heartwrenching and touching. I pray I never have to watch another man carry his baby's casket into a crowd of people to be put into the ground- But I also pray that I get to witness the love and empathy that I saw today for the rest of my life.
What these parents did for us, their friends and family, to allow us into their most sacred and heartbreaking time is beyond words. I will never be able to repay them for teaching me the true meaning of life, love , and Faith- for sharing their joys and heartbreak with us, through pictures, blog posts and facebook-
Now, as a Christian I dont believe today is the end of the world- But, if it is- I know I saw the purest love today that there ever has been. Love that is born the second parents realize a million in one chance has happened, there is a life growing, for them to nurture and love- THAT is pure love- to love something that isnt even here yet- to anticipate it, to long for it. And true grief is to have it taken from you before you can enjoy it.
That being said- Is it supposed to be at 5pm central or eastern that the world ends? cause its already 3 here and I got alot to do and need to know if I only have another hour.....
In true Byerly fashion, my kids enjoyed last night- just incase the end IS coming-
See, we are the type of family that really does try to stay quiet, and keep to ourselves, and we work hard at not causing drama- or excitement- BUT, it seems to find us- no matter what- Just a simple BBQ? let my kids come over- one will fall in your swimming pool and try to walk on the bottom.
Having a nice family reunion? some kid will make fun of one of my kids and then someone ends up with a bloody nose and whining about 'that mean byerly boy'.. We just attract situations- most of the time, NOT even of our own making. We are just in the right place, at the right time, and BOOM- we are a headline- AGAIN.
My sister in law came and got them and took them to her moms pool hall- its in a tiny little town north of here- Before they left I made them put on decent clothes, and told them "DONT be rude, please be good, and DONT insult anyone- alot of my clients are from Pineland, and they ALL know you are my kids- even if YOU dont know them!"
I didnt mention anything about enticeing K9 units or being involoved in a manhunt-
I have GOT to learn that I need to quit telling them what NOT to do, and only tell them what they CAN do- (its the buzzard catching thing ALL over again- )
so anyway- as I hear the story, this is what happened. They were all playing pool, when my sister in law gets a phone call from her daughter- she is dog sitting the K9 for the police department- at the policemans house.
my neice needs a lighter... to light a candle.. well sister in law, being the astute person she is, knows this is bunk- BUT, heads over there anyway- well it WAS bunk- Come to find out- the policemans house sits on an airstrip- and planes DO use it. well, As my neice is in the house, some guy from out of state, lands his plane and then walks in and closes the door- like he owns the place- the Dog went on full alert, and the man left. BUT- and this is where my kids become involved-- When my sister in law gets there, with my so far, well behaved children in tow, the resident police officer comes screaching in on two wheels, with a few on duty buddies. (my kids got so excited at this point of the story that I pretty much had to get the rest from my sister in law) - I heard 'dust flying everywhere' 'two wheels' , 'like on TV' etc etc....
SO- then they go to looking for said pilot- the one who has NO clue where he is- and proceed to arrest him- well in the meantime, my kids are enjoying the crap out of this- I mean they are in the MIDDLE of a man hunt- guns drawn, full police mode- (or at least thats what they remember in their heads)-
THEN, my neice brings out the K9 dog- and proceeded to tell my intellegent but commonsense lacking boys that he only attacks when commanded by words in German.
Which leads them to attempt to say every 'germanish' word they can think of- "Schnitzel"
"Farfenugen"
"fritzgerald"
(they dont know many german words...)
All my Sister in law could think of was "OMG- what if his attack word IS "Schinitzel"?
Luckily for them, it wasnt- and soon law and order was restored to the sleepy little town of Pineland, but forever will it be remembered that was the day that the Byerly boys came to town. EVEN if they were not directly involoved!
Now, I also have to tell off on Bow- A friend of ours came over to pick something up- this is the guy who has the distinct privledge of picking up all of my dead animals and taking them to his wife who is a taxidermist- the day he had a dozen frozen rabbits all over the bed of his truck because the bag busted is PRICELESS- and he was on the porch and we were shooting the breeze when the kids dumped out some grub worms- He asked Bow if he had ever eaten one. Bow just looked at him with the 'hmmmmm- I cant remember if I am supposed to admit to that or not' look...
So then, Brett asks "have you ever ate a BBQ'd grasshopper? "
and Tom Says "no, but I've had chocolate covered Grasshoppers"
and Bow says "I eat chocolate covered Bunnies!" I guess he thinks his easter bunnies are the real thing- dipped in chocolate- which brings me to my next point- I need to make sure there is NEVER any dipping chocolate around here- as we still have a few live bunnies at the barn....
********** breaking news*********
Just overheard in my kitchen-
my nephew who is 8 is over here with Rayley and Bow, they are playing- They just came in and asked if they could have a sandwhich- I said "yes"
So, they went into the kitchen, and I hear the normal sounds- Getting of the bread, jelly, peanut butter, and setting it on the counter-
Then Masen says " So where are the sandwhiches?"
Rayley said "uhhh we have to make them"
"OH" he said-
Then, he says "so uhhhhhh where is the package they are in?" Rayley said "well there is the bread, the peanut butter and the jelly, we have to assemble it"
"ohhhhhh"
5 minutes later he says "ya know, I have never made my own sandwhich before" So to his future wife- dont let him fool ya, his aunt Michelle made him learn how- once upon a time.....
20 minutes ago they were outside playing- and in came Bow, he had a 'needle' in his 'inger'
I knew imediatly he had a cactus thorn in his thumb- Behind him came in Rayley and Masen.
Now, we dont just have cactus growing all over- BRett has a cactus garden. With maybe 3 cacti in it.
I asked "so why did you idiots get in the cactus?"
They all looked at me like a deer in the headlights- to which Masen replied "I DIDNT" all proud of hisself-
"I am not stupid, I know this is a cactus thorn, and I know it didnt jump off and attack you, so WHY did you touch it?"
Bertha Sue- in her infinate wisdom and beleif that a good excuse will always get someone ELSE in trouble says "well Masen dared us to"
uhhhhh okay-
SO, me, being me, said "well aint that just the brightest thing you have ever done?"
"well when someone dares you to do something you HAVE to do it, its the law!"
"well in that case, I DARE you to clean up the trash in the yard and double dog dare you to clean your room"
all this time I am sticking tape to Bows thumb trying to get this miniscule hairlike thorn out, while he screams-
"not funny MOOOOM" and to Masen " you butthead, your an idiot"
"well Rayley, he cant be both and let me explain the differnce to you between an idiot and an ass- see, an ass is gonna see just how much of an idiot you are- and in this case the ass won.
who is standing here begging for tape? saying they have thorns in their hands?
Right- YOU and Bow-
whats Masen standing there doing? -
Laughing at you for being an idiot.
You KNEW there were thorns, you KNEW they hurt, and yet, you were dumb enough to stick your hand in them. "
Now Masen did want to be insulted that I called him an ass- but I also explained to him that he KNEW better than to touch them, and no matter how dumb some people are, when you take advantage of that, you are indeed an ass.
Nothing to be mad about- its just kids being kids- and hopefully, kids that have learned a life lesson, again, at the hands of mother nature- and thanks to my lackluster parenting skills-
If not, Scotch tape is a good thorn puller-
Now its 4pm my time, and I either have an hour to get my toe nails painted so I dont go into the afterlife with chipped nails and am driven nuts for eternity, OR the world ISNT going to end, and I have to cook BR's supper- either way- I have work to do-
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Logic doesnt work with MY kids......
Well, I reread my 'love and logic' book- I am TRYING to raise happy healthy kids, without the aid of pharmasutical enhancements.
It seems sooo easy in a book- but resisting the urge to reach out and touch someone, especially when they feel the need to be a smartmouthed brat is very hard.
Yesterday I started off by giving them each a plastic sheet for their beds.
"whats this?"
"read the package"
"But we dont wet the bed"
"this is not for your bed wetting, its for mine"
"huh?"
"from here on out, I will walk in and wake you once, I will then holler from the door to wake you a second time, the third time will be a pitcher full of water dumped on your head- and then you will be responsible for remaking your bed"
"But thats not fair!"
"your mean"
"GAWD I wish I could move out"
"awwww, I knew y'all would understand, thank you, I cant wait to start this new chapter in our lives!- Now, go make your beds, be sure to use 2 sheets and a blanket"
Basicly I am tired of begging, pleading, screaming, crying, whining and fighting with them to get the most simple thing done on a daily basis.
Every day I get the foot stomping, eye rolling, exasperated sighing and various under their breath comments that every mom has came to accept. And I will not stand for it anymore.
Yes its easier to ignore it, walk away from it, or just throw a fit in general. BUT, I have come to find out that it takes WAY too much energy and time away from me- Eventually what I want done gets done, but at great risk to my mental wellbeing and their physical wellbeing.
I am trying to find a solution to this- one that keeps me out of jail, and possibly them out of therapy. although to be honest, the latter is not of much concern to me. They will need someone to blame their lifes failures on, may as well be me right... :)
I sent my truck in for repairs on Monday- I had to have it towed to Lufkin- I am praying its just that stupid EGR cooler thing- just another EPA regulation to make our vehicles less efficiant and more expensive.
I am doing great with this not smoking thing- by switching to a personal vaporizer or electronic cigarette- well except for one small problem. See, when you have stick that is actually ON fire, you tend to watch where you set it, but when you have something that just 'fires' when you tell it to, and is convenient to sit down, or put in your pocket, you tend to set it down, or put it in your pocket- CONSTANTLY- which means I am always looking for it. This is a small price to pay- and honestly, I used to have to search for lighters the same way- but, at times it can get annoying.
I am 58 days in- not even a major pang for a cigarette- I am really proud- I have never stuck with any 'quit smoking' thing this long, without being ready to jump off a bridge, or throw someone else off one.
It is labor intesive- not to the point of taking up your whole day- but think of it as if you were having to roll your own cigarettes. occasionally you have to take the time to refill a cartridge, or clean your filters and such- but, I get to 'vape' strawberry pie flavored nicotine- or butterscotch, or watermelon. I am IN LOVE. if you are courious about how to quit smoking and start vaping- check out
http://www.e-cigarette-forum.com
AND DONT buy one from a gas station- they are a waste of money-
I am letting the kids go on an archery shoot next month- The boys, this will be their first trip away from home. I am SOOO apprehensive about it. Not that I am worried about them, or the people they are going with. I trust them totally. But I dont trust my kids no further than I can throw them. They will do SOMETHING to make people wonder if they have ANY home training, or act a fool, or worse, tell half of a story about something and make me look like a worse parent than I really am.
Now, everyone's hour of free time is up and we are fixing to start our 4 hours of school for the day- wish me luck!! or them.
It seems sooo easy in a book- but resisting the urge to reach out and touch someone, especially when they feel the need to be a smartmouthed brat is very hard.
Yesterday I started off by giving them each a plastic sheet for their beds.
"whats this?"
"read the package"
"But we dont wet the bed"
"this is not for your bed wetting, its for mine"
"huh?"
"from here on out, I will walk in and wake you once, I will then holler from the door to wake you a second time, the third time will be a pitcher full of water dumped on your head- and then you will be responsible for remaking your bed"
"But thats not fair!"
"your mean"
"GAWD I wish I could move out"
"awwww, I knew y'all would understand, thank you, I cant wait to start this new chapter in our lives!- Now, go make your beds, be sure to use 2 sheets and a blanket"
Basicly I am tired of begging, pleading, screaming, crying, whining and fighting with them to get the most simple thing done on a daily basis.
Every day I get the foot stomping, eye rolling, exasperated sighing and various under their breath comments that every mom has came to accept. And I will not stand for it anymore.
Yes its easier to ignore it, walk away from it, or just throw a fit in general. BUT, I have come to find out that it takes WAY too much energy and time away from me- Eventually what I want done gets done, but at great risk to my mental wellbeing and their physical wellbeing.
I am trying to find a solution to this- one that keeps me out of jail, and possibly them out of therapy. although to be honest, the latter is not of much concern to me. They will need someone to blame their lifes failures on, may as well be me right... :)
I sent my truck in for repairs on Monday- I had to have it towed to Lufkin- I am praying its just that stupid EGR cooler thing- just another EPA regulation to make our vehicles less efficiant and more expensive.
I am doing great with this not smoking thing- by switching to a personal vaporizer or electronic cigarette- well except for one small problem. See, when you have stick that is actually ON fire, you tend to watch where you set it, but when you have something that just 'fires' when you tell it to, and is convenient to sit down, or put in your pocket, you tend to set it down, or put it in your pocket- CONSTANTLY- which means I am always looking for it. This is a small price to pay- and honestly, I used to have to search for lighters the same way- but, at times it can get annoying.
I am 58 days in- not even a major pang for a cigarette- I am really proud- I have never stuck with any 'quit smoking' thing this long, without being ready to jump off a bridge, or throw someone else off one.
It is labor intesive- not to the point of taking up your whole day- but think of it as if you were having to roll your own cigarettes. occasionally you have to take the time to refill a cartridge, or clean your filters and such- but, I get to 'vape' strawberry pie flavored nicotine- or butterscotch, or watermelon. I am IN LOVE. if you are courious about how to quit smoking and start vaping- check out
http://www.e-cigarette-forum.com
AND DONT buy one from a gas station- they are a waste of money-
I am letting the kids go on an archery shoot next month- The boys, this will be their first trip away from home. I am SOOO apprehensive about it. Not that I am worried about them, or the people they are going with. I trust them totally. But I dont trust my kids no further than I can throw them. They will do SOMETHING to make people wonder if they have ANY home training, or act a fool, or worse, tell half of a story about something and make me look like a worse parent than I really am.
Now, everyone's hour of free time is up and we are fixing to start our 4 hours of school for the day- wish me luck!! or them.
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Luckily Blessing are not eggs- you CAN put them all in one basket
well a title eludes me-
most times I think of a title and then write. But for the last few days- I just couldn't think of one, and so I didn't write.
Its been kinda hard to write a funny and upbeat blog this week- and noone reads this to get depressed- SO- I have tried to store up some funnies- of course, I cant remember any of them- :)
BUT- lets get the bad part out of the way-
A dear family friend lost his battle with Cancer this week- Him and his wife have been a part of my life for my entire life- they were best friends with my grandparents- Heck, I didn't know we wernt kin till I was grown. Miles Weaver you will be missed-
A wonderful woman who I have known for years lost her newborn baby on the same day. She has known that Faith Renee was going to have a short life outside of the protective embrace of her body, but pre eclemsia moved her due date up 2 months and so she didn't have as much time as she wanted with this darling gift from God. Tonya, Todd and her beautiful girls have shared this awful time with so many of us, showing us what true faith looks like- Its amazing how many lives a baby that's never taken a single breath could touch- but before this sweet angel was even born she had taught more people the true meaning of faith and love then a thousand lectures ever could.
And my great aunt, who has taken care of my uncle and is one of the hardest working women I know, fell and broke her arm- right under her shoulder on Friday night- Due to where its at, they can not set it- I am thankful it wasn't a hip- But, its bad none the less.
now onto the selfish, feel sorry for me, part of my week-
Our calf died- well, she wasn't a calf anymore she was over a year old, but was .... for lack of a better term- mentally insufficient. She was blind, had been since birth, but she also never grew- she looked like a 3 month old calf her whole life.
She was a happy cow- or as happy as one of Gods dumbest creatures could be. She would follow you around, she would love all over you, and she ate like a horse. But there was just something wrong with her. She wasn't being raised as a pet, like everything else here she had a purpose, and that was to nourish our bodies. But since she wouldn't have made a good batch of sawmill gravy we kept feeding her, and wasting the feed.
My kids gave me HELL all week- I mean to the point that I was ready to throw in the towel. because if I didn't throw it down, I was liable to make a hangman's noose out of it. I did come to the conclusion that kids should NOT come with instruction manuals- instead they should come with a lifetime supply of Prozac, duct tape and earplugs.
BR's personal truck has been down for a week or so, which means I have been driving him back and forth. not a big deal, its 8 miles, and honestly, its only an hour or two before I wake up anyway.
Its just the aggravation of knowing that we have a vehicle down.
I faced some disappointment and annoyance at the community/family cemetery this week. Every year we have a cemetery working, lunch business meeting etc. and there is a board who runs the cemetery.
Now, I have been going to this since I was old enough to drive. I went a few times before then- I would come with family members, but I have went since I could drive. My family has been buried there since the 1800's. Well, it never fails, there is always something to argue about, most times I am NOT involved in the actual argument, but will try to explain it so everyone will understand, and everyone there that is over 60 will look at me like I am a 5 year old int erupting a prayer meeting. OH and there are usually 2-3 people there that are not eligible for Social Security.
They cant STAND it when I speak up- and will actually ARGUE with me, when I am trying to help THEM prove THEIR point. They don't listen to one another, they simply wait for the noise to stop and start talking. One year one of them actually had the NERVE to say "let the adults figure this out" Well, we were TRYING to explain to the 'adults' that they had written "you must have a DESCENDANT in this cemetery to be buried here" INSTEAD of : "you must have a DIRECT ANCESTOR in this cemetery to be buried here"
or "you must be a DESCENDANT of someone buried here"
I was NOT a happy camper that day to say the least. BUT, still I go back- BR wont. He says he has no use for the whole deal. But not me- I love my family's history, I respect everything my family did to make this country what it is, and to make me who I am, so I am determined to be a part of their eternal resting place. Now to say the President of the board doesn't like me is an understatement. Oh she plays a good game- Most of the time, but I know that I am NOT her favorite person. Which is fine, I mean if everyone loved me and worshiped me, I would never have any fun pissing someone off. Right? -
Well, My Great Aunt asked me if I would accept a nomination for the board. I said I would. It was for the vacancy that Uncle Miles left. We go today, and there are people there I have NEVER seen show up for working, meetings, or even lunch- But I was just thrilled to see more people getting involved. Like I said, I think I am the only person who comes who hasnt had a knee replacement, hip replacement, or has most of my real teeth-
anyway, we went over some old business, some new business, and got it all straitened out. THEN, it came time to vote- My Aunts hand went up, but she was ignored and someone else spoke. They were nominating someone who had just moved back here from the big city. - Because she worked with computers and ... I dont know what all- I will be honest, I dont know who the woman is, If she has ever been out there, I wasnt introduced to her- I know almost everyone that comes to those meetings, and can pretty much tell you who's graves they descend from. Well once I was nominated, our President went right into a speech about how this was NOT a Ralph Cemetery (my mothers family)- BUT there was already 2 of the 5 people on the board that were Ralphs (my grandfather, and his sister)- and how it wouldnt be right for ME to be on there too- Well, A Byerly donated the land- and to be honest, and like I pointed out- there wasnt really anyone that wasnt kin on that board. its a small community, and folks had lots of kids back then. And if her 'speech' wasnt enough, her sister chimed in. Saying how it wasnt fair. Now, dont get me wrong- when everyone showed up that morning, they knew who they were going to vote for. I have no doubt in my mind. BUT, I am NOT happy about being blindsided with this. I dont believe that this speach just come off the top of her head- and I dont honestly think she cares who I am kin to- any other time you have to BEG someone to get on the board- She just honestly didnt want me on it- And thats fine- but say so- dont give me some cockamamie story about 'kin folks'. This board has been ran with Byerly's and Ralphs, and Dubose's all its eternity. and a few fights have broken out that pitted brother against brother and cousin against cousin- More than one family fued has started out there and would still be going on, if the participants were not permanent residents of there now.
And anyone who knows me - OR has ever been to a meeting out there, will know that I am the FIRST one to argue with MY FAMILY about whats going on. I am the one who calls them out when they get descendants and ancestors mixed up. So honestly, I am not sore about loosing by one vote, I know it was all about who showed up to vote for who, not who would have been the better person for the job. And like I said, I dont even know who the woman is- she wasnt there yesterday for me to 'recognize' her. It was a popularity contest and Unfortunately, my popular vote was kinda cut short, my great aunt had fallen the night before and broken her shoulder- and her husband was with her, other family was tending to the food stuff for the funeral, and a cousin got called in to work, 2 family members thought it was 11:30 and not 10:30 and one lady who was voting for me, got the names mixed up- Michelle and Melissa are quite simmular- especially when you dont hear real well.
And I am not really sore about the whole situation- But it was just one more thing in a pretty bad week.
On our way to the funeral home for visitation we happened upon a wreck- I knew both ladies in the wreck, luckily only one suffered some minor injuries- the other was fine but sore I am sure, But it was still quite disturbing-
THEN, we had Uncle Miles' Funeral- once it was over I was supposed to go back to the church and serve. But as the funeral possession passed my house, my truck decided to overheat and start blowing white smoke- SO- I whipped myself up into my driveway and we tried to find the problem. If I am right, and have diagnosed it correctly, (I aint a diesel mechanic by any stretch) I think its the ERG cooler- which is basically like your appendix, except it doesnt have a purpose at all- except to make some EPA lawyer smile for getting one over on you. anyway- its some piece of crap that cools the exhaust with water from my radiator or some such- and has broken. lucky for ME its BEHIND the freakin engine- we are talking - total truck tear down.
This morning BR was going to take himself to work in my truck- and now the dang thing wont even start- not sure what is wrong. But I am thinking I need to find me a preacher and get healing hands laid on it for sure. The dadgum thing is in that 'limbo' of not being paid off, but not being under warranty...
SO, if anyone has an old Ford truck- one with a carburetor, and gas lines, and a normal engine in- that they wanna sell for a few thousand bucks- please let me know-
But this is supposed to be a funny blog, something to make you glad you have a normal life and dont live in THIS house- amongst all the crazy - and so far all I have done is whine and depress you.
So- I refuse to count my sorrows- (I am running out of fingers and toes ) I just thought it might be therapeutic to get them on paper- Instead I am going to count my blessings- Uncle Miles is NOT suffering any more- Faith gave each of us a look into our own souls, not to mention her family showed us that love CAN overcome even the hardest of sorrows- BR's truck is a Toyota- even with a few hundred thousand miles on it, its got life left- we just gotta get the gas to the engine without a sputter- The calf wasnt getting any bigger, but I refused to admit I had screwed up when I got her- all I could see wast ribeue on the hoof.
Noone was seriously injured IN that wreck- And lots of folks stopped at 5pm on a Friday to help people they didnt know (till we got them out, it is a small town after all)- My truck can be fixed, if not, its not the end of the world, God will show me a way- And I am young- I still got LOTS of years of tending the cemetery left in me- including the graves of those who dont like me.
Lets see- my favorite Uncle Miles and Aunt Lynn story- My grandparents had a 'bar' that we ate at- it was about 4 feet high- and every meal except Thanksgiving was served there- so Aunt Lynn and Uncle Miles were visiting, and all weekend he had been showing off his new fangled hearing aids- And EVERYONE was trying to convince my grandfather he needed to get some too- Well, during breakfast that morning, my grandmother asked if anyone needed anything else- Automatically, Aunt Lynn, who for years had the responsibility of repeating everything said to Uncle Miles because he couldnt hear a buffalo fart, leaned over right in his ear and said rather loudly "DORIS ASKED IF YOU NEEDED ANYTHING ELSE" - Forgetting all about those newfangled hearing aids that he had just spent a small fortune on- and Uncle Miles pert near fell off his chair. I think it was another 15 years before my grandmother convinced my grandfather to get hearing aids. AND I just recently found out that when he does wear them, he turns them off when all my kids come around....
and something my kids did this week- OH Rayley cut Bows hair, on THURSDAY! we had funerals, and everything else- Ugggg-- I dont know WHY she cut it, but she did- So we had to put in an emergency call to our beautician- who luckily is also my cousin, and does housecalls...
OH and Bertha Sue, with her pink hair and her prissy walk, and her eyelashes batting came walking into my house the other day- with a BONE- like a leg bone from something- not huge, but a good foot or so long- and told me she wanted to figure out how to carve something out of it, and make a chair with that pelvis that the dogs drug up. That it would fit in her barbie house and then Ken and Barbie would have a 'trophy' room like other big game hunters- so she could pretend they got to go on safari and hunt.
We argued for about 10 minutes, and finally I put my foot down, said "GET IT OUT OF MY HOUSE" and turned around to walk off, her spitting and sputtering about how mean I was and never let her decorate her own barbie house and .... I dont know something about the world coming to an end and I was the cause of it- blah blah blah- (on a side note, I will get it out of her room this week and throw it on the burn pile-)
So, I come on in the living room, and sit down for a little while- Rayley asked if she could eat something, I told her yes, to wash her hand first- Then, I get the remote and start trying to find something- In comes Miss Priss- sandwich in hand and plops herself down in the chair like she has good sense. - I pay her no mind, instead I turn it on "mounted in Alaska" its a show about a taxidermist who does some amazing mounts.
Next thing I know- Pricess Whinesalot says "REALLY? Mounted in Alaska? I AM trying to eat here ya know!" Like this grossed her out-
she had JUST been involved in disposing of a calf- and toting around a bone from God knows what- wanting to pretend its a trophy for her barbie- (who by the way needs a pink gun I was told.....) and she is offended by a show about tanned leather and plaster forms?? Heck, she was just asking me not too long ago how many rabbits it would take to make a fur coat since she has a sewing machine and all....
most times I think of a title and then write. But for the last few days- I just couldn't think of one, and so I didn't write.
Its been kinda hard to write a funny and upbeat blog this week- and noone reads this to get depressed- SO- I have tried to store up some funnies- of course, I cant remember any of them- :)
BUT- lets get the bad part out of the way-
A dear family friend lost his battle with Cancer this week- Him and his wife have been a part of my life for my entire life- they were best friends with my grandparents- Heck, I didn't know we wernt kin till I was grown. Miles Weaver you will be missed-
A wonderful woman who I have known for years lost her newborn baby on the same day. She has known that Faith Renee was going to have a short life outside of the protective embrace of her body, but pre eclemsia moved her due date up 2 months and so she didn't have as much time as she wanted with this darling gift from God. Tonya, Todd and her beautiful girls have shared this awful time with so many of us, showing us what true faith looks like- Its amazing how many lives a baby that's never taken a single breath could touch- but before this sweet angel was even born she had taught more people the true meaning of faith and love then a thousand lectures ever could.
And my great aunt, who has taken care of my uncle and is one of the hardest working women I know, fell and broke her arm- right under her shoulder on Friday night- Due to where its at, they can not set it- I am thankful it wasn't a hip- But, its bad none the less.
now onto the selfish, feel sorry for me, part of my week-
Our calf died- well, she wasn't a calf anymore she was over a year old, but was .... for lack of a better term- mentally insufficient. She was blind, had been since birth, but she also never grew- she looked like a 3 month old calf her whole life.
She was a happy cow- or as happy as one of Gods dumbest creatures could be. She would follow you around, she would love all over you, and she ate like a horse. But there was just something wrong with her. She wasn't being raised as a pet, like everything else here she had a purpose, and that was to nourish our bodies. But since she wouldn't have made a good batch of sawmill gravy we kept feeding her, and wasting the feed.
My kids gave me HELL all week- I mean to the point that I was ready to throw in the towel. because if I didn't throw it down, I was liable to make a hangman's noose out of it. I did come to the conclusion that kids should NOT come with instruction manuals- instead they should come with a lifetime supply of Prozac, duct tape and earplugs.
BR's personal truck has been down for a week or so, which means I have been driving him back and forth. not a big deal, its 8 miles, and honestly, its only an hour or two before I wake up anyway.
Its just the aggravation of knowing that we have a vehicle down.
I faced some disappointment and annoyance at the community/family cemetery this week. Every year we have a cemetery working, lunch business meeting etc. and there is a board who runs the cemetery.
Now, I have been going to this since I was old enough to drive. I went a few times before then- I would come with family members, but I have went since I could drive. My family has been buried there since the 1800's. Well, it never fails, there is always something to argue about, most times I am NOT involved in the actual argument, but will try to explain it so everyone will understand, and everyone there that is over 60 will look at me like I am a 5 year old int erupting a prayer meeting. OH and there are usually 2-3 people there that are not eligible for Social Security.
They cant STAND it when I speak up- and will actually ARGUE with me, when I am trying to help THEM prove THEIR point. They don't listen to one another, they simply wait for the noise to stop and start talking. One year one of them actually had the NERVE to say "let the adults figure this out" Well, we were TRYING to explain to the 'adults' that they had written "you must have a DESCENDANT in this cemetery to be buried here" INSTEAD of : "you must have a DIRECT ANCESTOR in this cemetery to be buried here"
or "you must be a DESCENDANT of someone buried here"
I was NOT a happy camper that day to say the least. BUT, still I go back- BR wont. He says he has no use for the whole deal. But not me- I love my family's history, I respect everything my family did to make this country what it is, and to make me who I am, so I am determined to be a part of their eternal resting place. Now to say the President of the board doesn't like me is an understatement. Oh she plays a good game- Most of the time, but I know that I am NOT her favorite person. Which is fine, I mean if everyone loved me and worshiped me, I would never have any fun pissing someone off. Right? -
Well, My Great Aunt asked me if I would accept a nomination for the board. I said I would. It was for the vacancy that Uncle Miles left. We go today, and there are people there I have NEVER seen show up for working, meetings, or even lunch- But I was just thrilled to see more people getting involved. Like I said, I think I am the only person who comes who hasnt had a knee replacement, hip replacement, or has most of my real teeth-
anyway, we went over some old business, some new business, and got it all straitened out. THEN, it came time to vote- My Aunts hand went up, but she was ignored and someone else spoke. They were nominating someone who had just moved back here from the big city. - Because she worked with computers and ... I dont know what all- I will be honest, I dont know who the woman is, If she has ever been out there, I wasnt introduced to her- I know almost everyone that comes to those meetings, and can pretty much tell you who's graves they descend from. Well once I was nominated, our President went right into a speech about how this was NOT a Ralph Cemetery (my mothers family)- BUT there was already 2 of the 5 people on the board that were Ralphs (my grandfather, and his sister)- and how it wouldnt be right for ME to be on there too- Well, A Byerly donated the land- and to be honest, and like I pointed out- there wasnt really anyone that wasnt kin on that board. its a small community, and folks had lots of kids back then. And if her 'speech' wasnt enough, her sister chimed in. Saying how it wasnt fair. Now, dont get me wrong- when everyone showed up that morning, they knew who they were going to vote for. I have no doubt in my mind. BUT, I am NOT happy about being blindsided with this. I dont believe that this speach just come off the top of her head- and I dont honestly think she cares who I am kin to- any other time you have to BEG someone to get on the board- She just honestly didnt want me on it- And thats fine- but say so- dont give me some cockamamie story about 'kin folks'. This board has been ran with Byerly's and Ralphs, and Dubose's all its eternity. and a few fights have broken out that pitted brother against brother and cousin against cousin- More than one family fued has started out there and would still be going on, if the participants were not permanent residents of there now.
And anyone who knows me - OR has ever been to a meeting out there, will know that I am the FIRST one to argue with MY FAMILY about whats going on. I am the one who calls them out when they get descendants and ancestors mixed up. So honestly, I am not sore about loosing by one vote, I know it was all about who showed up to vote for who, not who would have been the better person for the job. And like I said, I dont even know who the woman is- she wasnt there yesterday for me to 'recognize' her. It was a popularity contest and Unfortunately, my popular vote was kinda cut short, my great aunt had fallen the night before and broken her shoulder- and her husband was with her, other family was tending to the food stuff for the funeral, and a cousin got called in to work, 2 family members thought it was 11:30 and not 10:30 and one lady who was voting for me, got the names mixed up- Michelle and Melissa are quite simmular- especially when you dont hear real well.
And I am not really sore about the whole situation- But it was just one more thing in a pretty bad week.
On our way to the funeral home for visitation we happened upon a wreck- I knew both ladies in the wreck, luckily only one suffered some minor injuries- the other was fine but sore I am sure, But it was still quite disturbing-
THEN, we had Uncle Miles' Funeral- once it was over I was supposed to go back to the church and serve. But as the funeral possession passed my house, my truck decided to overheat and start blowing white smoke- SO- I whipped myself up into my driveway and we tried to find the problem. If I am right, and have diagnosed it correctly, (I aint a diesel mechanic by any stretch) I think its the ERG cooler- which is basically like your appendix, except it doesnt have a purpose at all- except to make some EPA lawyer smile for getting one over on you. anyway- its some piece of crap that cools the exhaust with water from my radiator or some such- and has broken. lucky for ME its BEHIND the freakin engine- we are talking - total truck tear down.
This morning BR was going to take himself to work in my truck- and now the dang thing wont even start- not sure what is wrong. But I am thinking I need to find me a preacher and get healing hands laid on it for sure. The dadgum thing is in that 'limbo' of not being paid off, but not being under warranty...
SO, if anyone has an old Ford truck- one with a carburetor, and gas lines, and a normal engine in- that they wanna sell for a few thousand bucks- please let me know-
But this is supposed to be a funny blog, something to make you glad you have a normal life and dont live in THIS house- amongst all the crazy - and so far all I have done is whine and depress you.
So- I refuse to count my sorrows- (I am running out of fingers and toes ) I just thought it might be therapeutic to get them on paper- Instead I am going to count my blessings- Uncle Miles is NOT suffering any more- Faith gave each of us a look into our own souls, not to mention her family showed us that love CAN overcome even the hardest of sorrows- BR's truck is a Toyota- even with a few hundred thousand miles on it, its got life left- we just gotta get the gas to the engine without a sputter- The calf wasnt getting any bigger, but I refused to admit I had screwed up when I got her- all I could see wast ribeue on the hoof.
Noone was seriously injured IN that wreck- And lots of folks stopped at 5pm on a Friday to help people they didnt know (till we got them out, it is a small town after all)- My truck can be fixed, if not, its not the end of the world, God will show me a way- And I am young- I still got LOTS of years of tending the cemetery left in me- including the graves of those who dont like me.
Lets see- my favorite Uncle Miles and Aunt Lynn story- My grandparents had a 'bar' that we ate at- it was about 4 feet high- and every meal except Thanksgiving was served there- so Aunt Lynn and Uncle Miles were visiting, and all weekend he had been showing off his new fangled hearing aids- And EVERYONE was trying to convince my grandfather he needed to get some too- Well, during breakfast that morning, my grandmother asked if anyone needed anything else- Automatically, Aunt Lynn, who for years had the responsibility of repeating everything said to Uncle Miles because he couldnt hear a buffalo fart, leaned over right in his ear and said rather loudly "DORIS ASKED IF YOU NEEDED ANYTHING ELSE" - Forgetting all about those newfangled hearing aids that he had just spent a small fortune on- and Uncle Miles pert near fell off his chair. I think it was another 15 years before my grandmother convinced my grandfather to get hearing aids. AND I just recently found out that when he does wear them, he turns them off when all my kids come around....
and something my kids did this week- OH Rayley cut Bows hair, on THURSDAY! we had funerals, and everything else- Ugggg-- I dont know WHY she cut it, but she did- So we had to put in an emergency call to our beautician- who luckily is also my cousin, and does housecalls...
OH and Bertha Sue, with her pink hair and her prissy walk, and her eyelashes batting came walking into my house the other day- with a BONE- like a leg bone from something- not huge, but a good foot or so long- and told me she wanted to figure out how to carve something out of it, and make a chair with that pelvis that the dogs drug up. That it would fit in her barbie house and then Ken and Barbie would have a 'trophy' room like other big game hunters- so she could pretend they got to go on safari and hunt.
We argued for about 10 minutes, and finally I put my foot down, said "GET IT OUT OF MY HOUSE" and turned around to walk off, her spitting and sputtering about how mean I was and never let her decorate her own barbie house and .... I dont know something about the world coming to an end and I was the cause of it- blah blah blah- (on a side note, I will get it out of her room this week and throw it on the burn pile-)
So, I come on in the living room, and sit down for a little while- Rayley asked if she could eat something, I told her yes, to wash her hand first- Then, I get the remote and start trying to find something- In comes Miss Priss- sandwich in hand and plops herself down in the chair like she has good sense. - I pay her no mind, instead I turn it on "mounted in Alaska" its a show about a taxidermist who does some amazing mounts.
Next thing I know- Pricess Whinesalot says "REALLY? Mounted in Alaska? I AM trying to eat here ya know!" Like this grossed her out-
she had JUST been involved in disposing of a calf- and toting around a bone from God knows what- wanting to pretend its a trophy for her barbie- (who by the way needs a pink gun I was told.....) and she is offended by a show about tanned leather and plaster forms?? Heck, she was just asking me not too long ago how many rabbits it would take to make a fur coat since she has a sewing machine and all....
Monday, May 9, 2011
NEVER Return to the scene of the crime-
The banquet was a BLAST!
We worked hard but over 14,000.00 was given to our local 4-H group and Police Dept. -
Our day started by putting together and setting up all the merchandise- that's always controlled chaos-
And once the kids get done they are wilder than a band of wild Indians. and somehow someone always gets hurt- First it was Bertha Sue- she hurt her finger, BR took care of it- she went back off to play- THEN the next time it was Brett who came in with blood pouring from his thumb- I was busy doing treasurer stuff and didn't have a band aid, but someone had some electrical tape- and a friend of mine is a taxidermist so we were good to go-
We left there and had to come home to get dressed to go back- Bow was going to stay with my mother in law, but decided he wanted to go with us. Uggggggg NOT what I wanted to do- I am so busy I cant even say hello to half the people I know, and keep up with the older kids- much less keep an eye on a 2 year old who gets bored easily.
We had a great turnout and our 4-H kids helped us SOOO much~! Even Bow went this time- I think he was pretty good- honestly, I am not sure- I saw him running through a few times, dragging a trash can helping out, and one time a friend came by to tell me she had corralled him and redressed him, as he decided it was time to get all comfy and strip down.
Rayley impressed quite a few folks, I had people I didn't know coming up to me and saying "that MUST be your daughter with the pink hair!" when I said "uhhhhhhh... yeah.... " they would say things like "I KNEW it was, she has your same bubbly personality!" or "she is cute as can be! and she looks JUST like you!" " well she is you made over- she had me ROLLING with laughter" or my favorite "I knew she was, she is the sweetest thing, and pretty as a picture"
Now, granted, most of these folks were drunk, but its nice to know she can pull the wool over folks' eyes (and me for that matter) and they think we are nice and funny, and even cute!!
One time a friend that I hadn't seen since High School stopped me- She said "that must be your daughter with the pink hair"
"Yeah, " I said laughing with a scared chuckle
"well she is ADORABLE! I saw her coming out of the bathroom and said 'OMG you have GOT to belong to Michelle Byerly' and she said 'yes ma'am' And she asked if I knew you, and I told her 'yes, we were friends in school' and then she asked if I knew her dad and told her that yes, I knew him from school too. So she looked up at me and said "so you know we Byerly's are not nice people right?"
ROFLMAO! I swear, you NEVER know what my kids will say-
But I did get compliments on my kids all night- I was very proud- they were polite, and helpful, and worked hard.
Anyway, BR and I found a few things we were interested in, put our raffle tickets in the buckets, prayed for the best and went to work. AND LORD did we work. He had to rebox all the guns, and I was at the check in/checkout table.
Then as the night was winding down, they started drawing the raffle tickets- we got an adorable coat rack with the NRA stamped on it and the hooks are shotgun shells.
BR got a gun bag for the new .22 off the silent auction table, and then they did the 5 gun draw. I almost died when they called out our name second! we had won the Henry Golden Boy .22!! I have always wanted one of these- they are SOOOO pretty!! And I am laying claim to it- since the guys got that ugly Smith and Wesson 10-22 thing the other day.
THEN, some friends of ours won the last gun of the night- a Kimber pistol! I was pleased that 2 of the 250 raffle tickets I sold won guns- I thought that was a pretty good average.
Yesterday we did NOTHING- I barely even cleaned the house- I just did what was necessary to get by, we had gotten home well after midnight and didn't fall into bed until after 2am. We have to clean up the venue before we leave, and get all the trash gathered up and such, plus count all the money, tickets etc. So, its a long night. You should see my poor truck, I bet there are 12-14 60 gallon bags in it. PLUS about 45 broken down boxes. We had to put straps across the stuff to keep it in the back while I drove home!
Even Bow helped us with the trash- and he was still going strong at 1:30- I mean STRONG!
Of course, like every other week, it had to come to an end- one minute we were enjoying being lazy and doing nothing, and the next, it was 2am Monday morning and BR had to go to work! His Toyota is messed up again, (if anyone wants a good mechanic, holler at me- I will tell you which one is NOT), and so I am driving him to his job- its only 8 miles, so its not like its hard.
Anyway- This morning at 2am I got up and drive BR to work, I was worried about loosing a bag of trash, I had lost one somewhere on the way home we thought, but as I came back to the house from his job I didn't see any bags, so I decided I was safe.
THEN, BR texted me- said "there is a bag of trash at the river bridge on 63" well, that's the way we came home Saturday night- SO I jumped in my truck, still in my Chip and Dale fluffy sleep pants and shirt, hair all a mess, no makeup and head out to pick up trash on the side of the road, at 2:30 AM.
I got there, got turned around, got the bag of trash, tried my hardest to put it in the back and just couldn't make it fit. SO, I threw it in the backseat, jumped back in the truck, looked in my side mirrors, because the trash in the back of my truck is stacked WELL over the cab, I cant see out the back glass- SO, I looked out my side mirror, went to turn off my hazards and pull out and what is behind me? A county Mounty... yep- the police, with their lights a spinnin and the spotlight shinin....
well hell.
So- I jumped out- IN my blue and pink chip and dale, sleepwear, hoping like heck that I wasn't in the wrong place at the wrong time, and there hadn't been a person stealing trash from folks houses and then driving up and down the highway throwing it out and I was gonna get confused with them.
The passenger of the police car got out, mag light shining, like the spotlight, headlights and flashing red and blue lights were not enough to identify me-
So, I start trying to explain exactly WHY I am in the middle of the road road at 2:30AM in my Pjs'. Looking like something the cat dragged in and the dog didn't want.
I recognized the cop right away, and just hoped he did me- He did. and as I was telling my story, 'had all this trash from the banquet, waiting on the dump to open, BR passed by in his 18 wheeler and saw the trash, he texted to tell me I had dropped a bag, I came to get it, blah, blah, blah, he said "Michelle?" I said "YEP!:) " "Girl, I just cant believe someone would come back to pick it up! Especially at 2 in the morning! I would have told BR what he could do" He said they wouldnt have ever known who did it-
Honestly, I had every intention of picking up anything I dropped- I was just glad that it wasnt like last year, when it was boxes and Styrofoam that was flying everywhere- And I was glad BR had saw it and called me. But I figure that its JUST my luck that I see 2 cars in the 45 minutes I was on the highway, and ONE happens to be a COP! The three of us agree'd - you should NEVER return to the scene of the crime, thats how they catch ya!!
I loaded myself back up, and came home-
We worked hard but over 14,000.00 was given to our local 4-H group and Police Dept. -
Our day started by putting together and setting up all the merchandise- that's always controlled chaos-
And once the kids get done they are wilder than a band of wild Indians. and somehow someone always gets hurt- First it was Bertha Sue- she hurt her finger, BR took care of it- she went back off to play- THEN the next time it was Brett who came in with blood pouring from his thumb- I was busy doing treasurer stuff and didn't have a band aid, but someone had some electrical tape- and a friend of mine is a taxidermist so we were good to go-
We left there and had to come home to get dressed to go back- Bow was going to stay with my mother in law, but decided he wanted to go with us. Uggggggg NOT what I wanted to do- I am so busy I cant even say hello to half the people I know, and keep up with the older kids- much less keep an eye on a 2 year old who gets bored easily.
We had a great turnout and our 4-H kids helped us SOOO much~! Even Bow went this time- I think he was pretty good- honestly, I am not sure- I saw him running through a few times, dragging a trash can helping out, and one time a friend came by to tell me she had corralled him and redressed him, as he decided it was time to get all comfy and strip down.
Rayley impressed quite a few folks, I had people I didn't know coming up to me and saying "that MUST be your daughter with the pink hair!" when I said "uhhhhhhh... yeah.... " they would say things like "I KNEW it was, she has your same bubbly personality!" or "she is cute as can be! and she looks JUST like you!" " well she is you made over- she had me ROLLING with laughter" or my favorite "I knew she was, she is the sweetest thing, and pretty as a picture"
Now, granted, most of these folks were drunk, but its nice to know she can pull the wool over folks' eyes (and me for that matter) and they think we are nice and funny, and even cute!!
One time a friend that I hadn't seen since High School stopped me- She said "that must be your daughter with the pink hair"
"Yeah, " I said laughing with a scared chuckle
"well she is ADORABLE! I saw her coming out of the bathroom and said 'OMG you have GOT to belong to Michelle Byerly' and she said 'yes ma'am' And she asked if I knew you, and I told her 'yes, we were friends in school' and then she asked if I knew her dad and told her that yes, I knew him from school too. So she looked up at me and said "so you know we Byerly's are not nice people right?"
ROFLMAO! I swear, you NEVER know what my kids will say-
But I did get compliments on my kids all night- I was very proud- they were polite, and helpful, and worked hard.
Anyway, BR and I found a few things we were interested in, put our raffle tickets in the buckets, prayed for the best and went to work. AND LORD did we work. He had to rebox all the guns, and I was at the check in/checkout table.
Then as the night was winding down, they started drawing the raffle tickets- we got an adorable coat rack with the NRA stamped on it and the hooks are shotgun shells.
BR got a gun bag for the new .22 off the silent auction table, and then they did the 5 gun draw. I almost died when they called out our name second! we had won the Henry Golden Boy .22!! I have always wanted one of these- they are SOOOO pretty!! And I am laying claim to it- since the guys got that ugly Smith and Wesson 10-22 thing the other day.
THEN, some friends of ours won the last gun of the night- a Kimber pistol! I was pleased that 2 of the 250 raffle tickets I sold won guns- I thought that was a pretty good average.
Yesterday we did NOTHING- I barely even cleaned the house- I just did what was necessary to get by, we had gotten home well after midnight and didn't fall into bed until after 2am. We have to clean up the venue before we leave, and get all the trash gathered up and such, plus count all the money, tickets etc. So, its a long night. You should see my poor truck, I bet there are 12-14 60 gallon bags in it. PLUS about 45 broken down boxes. We had to put straps across the stuff to keep it in the back while I drove home!
Even Bow helped us with the trash- and he was still going strong at 1:30- I mean STRONG!
Of course, like every other week, it had to come to an end- one minute we were enjoying being lazy and doing nothing, and the next, it was 2am Monday morning and BR had to go to work! His Toyota is messed up again, (if anyone wants a good mechanic, holler at me- I will tell you which one is NOT), and so I am driving him to his job- its only 8 miles, so its not like its hard.
Anyway- This morning at 2am I got up and drive BR to work, I was worried about loosing a bag of trash, I had lost one somewhere on the way home we thought, but as I came back to the house from his job I didn't see any bags, so I decided I was safe.
THEN, BR texted me- said "there is a bag of trash at the river bridge on 63" well, that's the way we came home Saturday night- SO I jumped in my truck, still in my Chip and Dale fluffy sleep pants and shirt, hair all a mess, no makeup and head out to pick up trash on the side of the road, at 2:30 AM.
I got there, got turned around, got the bag of trash, tried my hardest to put it in the back and just couldn't make it fit. SO, I threw it in the backseat, jumped back in the truck, looked in my side mirrors, because the trash in the back of my truck is stacked WELL over the cab, I cant see out the back glass- SO, I looked out my side mirror, went to turn off my hazards and pull out and what is behind me? A county Mounty... yep- the police, with their lights a spinnin and the spotlight shinin....
well hell.
So- I jumped out- IN my blue and pink chip and dale, sleepwear, hoping like heck that I wasn't in the wrong place at the wrong time, and there hadn't been a person stealing trash from folks houses and then driving up and down the highway throwing it out and I was gonna get confused with them.
The passenger of the police car got out, mag light shining, like the spotlight, headlights and flashing red and blue lights were not enough to identify me-
So, I start trying to explain exactly WHY I am in the middle of the road road at 2:30AM in my Pjs'. Looking like something the cat dragged in and the dog didn't want.
I recognized the cop right away, and just hoped he did me- He did. and as I was telling my story, 'had all this trash from the banquet, waiting on the dump to open, BR passed by in his 18 wheeler and saw the trash, he texted to tell me I had dropped a bag, I came to get it, blah, blah, blah, he said "Michelle?" I said "YEP!:) " "Girl, I just cant believe someone would come back to pick it up! Especially at 2 in the morning! I would have told BR what he could do" He said they wouldnt have ever known who did it-
Honestly, I had every intention of picking up anything I dropped- I was just glad that it wasnt like last year, when it was boxes and Styrofoam that was flying everywhere- And I was glad BR had saw it and called me. But I figure that its JUST my luck that I see 2 cars in the 45 minutes I was on the highway, and ONE happens to be a COP! The three of us agree'd - you should NEVER return to the scene of the crime, thats how they catch ya!!
I loaded myself back up, and came home-
Friday, May 6, 2011
why must everything run on batteries?
My kids never get sick- oh I hear the 'my stomach hurts' all the time, for which I usually tell them the age old remedy for. And they do get migraines, which they COULD avoid if they tried, all of their triggers are obvious and usually avoidable. But they just dont get SICK- the other morning I am sitting here in my recliner, Bow is in his usual place, kinda behind my left shoulder because I am kinda twisted around playing on the computer. all of a sudden I hear "mom, me not feel good" and then it hit me between the shoulder blades, and proceeded to roll all the way down my back, and INTO my pants. I couldnt even move. Then it hit me, and I hated to laugh, I mean there is a miserable 3 year old beside me saying "i sorry oma, i sorry" but I couldnt help it, I had to laugh- IT went DOWN my pants. So, then you have to make the decision, do you run with your baby to the toilet, get a warm washrag and wipe him down, pamper him and love on him, while you see if there is anything else left in his tiny little tummy waiting to be expelled, OR do you get up and go strait to YOUR bathroom and strip, then jump in a hot shower? Well, being the loving and devoted mom I am- I said "ohhh baby, its okay- do you need to puke some more?" "do you feel better??" "Momma's not mad baby-" as I was walking quickly to the shower, shucking clothes as I went.
The day got better from there- Nothing as bad- but just a thousand little things that when added together make you want to sit in a dark room in the fetal posistion, rocking back and forth, while sobbing uncontrolably and cursing the day you were born.
BUT- even in the face of ALL the adversity, I havent had a cigarette!!
And if being puked on wasnt enough to send you to the nearest store to buy a carton of poison laden tabacco wrapped in paper dipped in arsnic, my darling mother in law was nice enough to buy my children a 'paper jamz' - NOW, if you dont know what this is, its a cardboard guitar, that takes batteries and you 'play' it. Its loaded with rock songs. So far I have only heard ONE I recognize, 'rockstar ' by Nickleback. The rest are some God Awful headbanging crap that I wouldnt have listened to if Bon Jovi or Axel Rose had been singing it. None of the 4 play the same songs, and for a peice of paper they are extreamly loud. VERY loud. I cant wait for one of the dogs to accidentally tear them up. Unfortunatly, they have managed to take better care of these cheap miagraine inducers then they do their own computers. THis is how China is going to take over the world- By all these toys they are sending over here at cheap prices, and gullible americans are buying up left and right while waiting on their prozac prescriptions from the pharmacy to get ready. Because no sane person could purposly allow these noisemaking, nerve grating toys into their home unless they were under a pharmasutical induced cloud of 'happy'. But you mark my words- "noisy annoying toys from China are the downfall of American Freedom - everyone with a child between 2 and 25 is admited to mental hospitals begging for shock therapy" will be the headline in a newspaper one day.
Our banquet for the Friends of the NRA is tomorrow night- I just am amazed at how quickly time flies by. The next two days are going to be quite busy- we set up tonight and then tomorrow we put together all the merchandise and at 5:30 we open the doors.
The day got better from there- Nothing as bad- but just a thousand little things that when added together make you want to sit in a dark room in the fetal posistion, rocking back and forth, while sobbing uncontrolably and cursing the day you were born.
BUT- even in the face of ALL the adversity, I havent had a cigarette!!
And if being puked on wasnt enough to send you to the nearest store to buy a carton of poison laden tabacco wrapped in paper dipped in arsnic, my darling mother in law was nice enough to buy my children a 'paper jamz' - NOW, if you dont know what this is, its a cardboard guitar, that takes batteries and you 'play' it. Its loaded with rock songs. So far I have only heard ONE I recognize, 'rockstar ' by Nickleback. The rest are some God Awful headbanging crap that I wouldnt have listened to if Bon Jovi or Axel Rose had been singing it. None of the 4 play the same songs, and for a peice of paper they are extreamly loud. VERY loud. I cant wait for one of the dogs to accidentally tear them up. Unfortunatly, they have managed to take better care of these cheap miagraine inducers then they do their own computers. THis is how China is going to take over the world- By all these toys they are sending over here at cheap prices, and gullible americans are buying up left and right while waiting on their prozac prescriptions from the pharmacy to get ready. Because no sane person could purposly allow these noisemaking, nerve grating toys into their home unless they were under a pharmasutical induced cloud of 'happy'. But you mark my words- "noisy annoying toys from China are the downfall of American Freedom - everyone with a child between 2 and 25 is admited to mental hospitals begging for shock therapy" will be the headline in a newspaper one day.
Our banquet for the Friends of the NRA is tomorrow night- I just am amazed at how quickly time flies by. The next two days are going to be quite busy- we set up tonight and then tomorrow we put together all the merchandise and at 5:30 we open the doors.
Sunday, May 1, 2011
just normal boring days around here-
well, I have already let myself slide-
Its hard to come in here and write like I used to- I guess because everytime something strikes me as funny, I put it on facebook, so I fiqure there is no sense in writing it here too-
I will work on that- either stop posting on facebook, or start watching the kids closer to get double the tales to tell....
Today we went to a gunshow- I got to drive- BR does NOT like my driving. AT ALL. you know those cartoons where the wife is griping about the husbands driving? or all the sitcoms where she sits there and harps on him the entire time? thats my truck- But I am driving- He used to make me so nervous that I would be a basket case before we got the 20 miles into town. But in the last year I have gotten to where I handle it better. Used to I couldnt even relax- now I am able to sit back and drive.
Anyway- we all loaded up today and drove a few hours to a gunshow- Nothing like taking MY kids to a place that has nothing but guns and knives. they were IN HEAVEN! I bet we walked around that place 8 times. Even Bow was good- and everyone had to comment to Rayley about her pink hair- which she loves.
we didnt find what we were looking for there- So we went on to Academy and got the new gun. When we got home I dont even think the kids came in the house- they went strait to the shooting lane to try it out.
They are doing shooting sports again, and its shotgun season right now- The boys did real well- although, at one point, I was busy- I was in charge of handing out ammunition to all the kids, and they had started shooting- Next thing I hear is Brett saying "Mom, MOM, MICHELLE" -
"what?"
"Hoover just got one!"
well, for me thats not news- they do it here all the time- so, me, being the supportive and loving mom I am says " way to go boy, momma's proud" and gave him an exaggerated thumbs up. Everyone thought this was funny- to which Brett proceeded to tell me that was NOT right- and it was embarrassing when I did that-
Uhhhhh-- he was the one HOLLERING for me, to tell me that Hoover had got one. like it was the first time he ever held a shotgun.
I just laughed and told them that was what I was there for- to embarrass them, and that I was glad I was doing my job to the utmost of my ability.
BUT, that wasnt the best 'part'- While the big kids are shooting, the young kids play in the dirt- Well, its another young boy thats about Bow's age, and another girl thats Rayley's and a few in between.
The younger kids were between me, (and I was up with the shooters) and the other moms who were at the lines of cars- The moms started laughing, and calling my name- Come to find out- The treat that I always buy for the kids on the way to shooting sports is going to have to cease. -- See, I always get them a soda, its once every two weeks and I fiqure it wont hurt. WELL- it wouldnt if Bow had ANY modesty or home training. which after last Thursday I have come to understand he has neither of.
This child just gets the urge to pee, so he stands up, and lets loose- the kids have to cover up the wet spot and move down to fresher dirt.
UGGGGGGG I swear I teach my kids manners! And really try to work hard with them. I tell them, "dont pee off the front of the porch by the steps, go down to the edge, where it doesnt matter if you kill the grass"
THEN, at the end, I am giving directions for the kids for our next fundraiser, and the other little boys mom is standing back there, jumping up and down, calling my name again. I am standing on a trailer, trying to look everyone in the eye; working to get all the information out there, and express how important this even is- and she is laughin her head off and jumping up and down. HE WAS DOING IT AGAIN!!
OMG! SO, all these folks that dont know what he had been doing are paying attention to me, and he is 10 feet behind them, and I cant help it- I have to scream "BOWDRIE MARSHALL!" yep, everyone turned around and saw him....
I am very lucky that for the most part the folks out there are country folks too- so, at the very least they have all had a relative who has no couth and can deal with it just smiling at each other and saying "bless her heart" and letting it go.
BUT, we did have some new kids out there- I hope their parents were not traumatized too badly.
I have been busy with cakes lately- unfortunately, Business is fixing to taper off quit quickly- I am going to have to significantly raise prices. Its a shame, I would love for everyone to have a really cool cake for a cheap price, but I just cant keep doing them for free.
I have been smoke free for 41 days now- and I STILL love it. There is nothing more exhilarating than to know I can live my life without a cigarette. and today, on the way home, I was having breath holding contests with Brett! I dont know how good I did- because it started annoying BR while I was driving and he took away our stop watch. LOL If you know someone who needs to quit, please look into a personal vaporizer, or ecig. its amazing- just dont buy the crappy ones at a gas station- they aint worth it- for not much more you can get something MUCH better!
The farm is pretty normal, we have lots of hogs we need to butcher, but its way too hot- and I have a beautiful smokehouse that we still havent gotten to use.
Today marked the first day of squirrel season, so the boys will be changing up their schedule a little- now, its going to be:
up before dawn,
take the dogs hunting,
come home and feed
THEN start school.
This will last maybe a day- they HATE getting up early. And honestly, I'd rather have an hour or so to myself before they DO wake up.
Although they do love any opportunity to head to the woods- especially if there is hunting involved! They have been rabbit hunting the last week or so- its a night time thing, so they REALLY love that- no 8:30 bedtime- But they HATE the 6am wakeup call!! I keep telling them "it doesnt matter HOW late you go to bed, you STILL have to get up in the morning to wake up the chickens!"
Easter was great- All my inlaws came over and watched the kids hunt eggs, and we all visited on the porch for a while- and we finally got some rain last week- and hail!
Now, I am fixing to make BR's breakfast and lunch, set the computer to download some drivers for the printer and pray that makes it do wireless printing!
I have worked on making it be wireless for days now- And I can NOT get them to pair up. I am afraid that the only way I will get them paired up is to literly shove the computer INTO the printer and throw them BOTH out the window.
Its hard to come in here and write like I used to- I guess because everytime something strikes me as funny, I put it on facebook, so I fiqure there is no sense in writing it here too-
I will work on that- either stop posting on facebook, or start watching the kids closer to get double the tales to tell....
Today we went to a gunshow- I got to drive- BR does NOT like my driving. AT ALL. you know those cartoons where the wife is griping about the husbands driving? or all the sitcoms where she sits there and harps on him the entire time? thats my truck- But I am driving- He used to make me so nervous that I would be a basket case before we got the 20 miles into town. But in the last year I have gotten to where I handle it better. Used to I couldnt even relax- now I am able to sit back and drive.
Anyway- we all loaded up today and drove a few hours to a gunshow- Nothing like taking MY kids to a place that has nothing but guns and knives. they were IN HEAVEN! I bet we walked around that place 8 times. Even Bow was good- and everyone had to comment to Rayley about her pink hair- which she loves.
we didnt find what we were looking for there- So we went on to Academy and got the new gun. When we got home I dont even think the kids came in the house- they went strait to the shooting lane to try it out.
They are doing shooting sports again, and its shotgun season right now- The boys did real well- although, at one point, I was busy- I was in charge of handing out ammunition to all the kids, and they had started shooting- Next thing I hear is Brett saying "Mom, MOM, MICHELLE" -
"what?"
"Hoover just got one!"
well, for me thats not news- they do it here all the time- so, me, being the supportive and loving mom I am says " way to go boy, momma's proud" and gave him an exaggerated thumbs up. Everyone thought this was funny- to which Brett proceeded to tell me that was NOT right- and it was embarrassing when I did that-
Uhhhhh-- he was the one HOLLERING for me, to tell me that Hoover had got one. like it was the first time he ever held a shotgun.
I just laughed and told them that was what I was there for- to embarrass them, and that I was glad I was doing my job to the utmost of my ability.
BUT, that wasnt the best 'part'- While the big kids are shooting, the young kids play in the dirt- Well, its another young boy thats about Bow's age, and another girl thats Rayley's and a few in between.
The younger kids were between me, (and I was up with the shooters) and the other moms who were at the lines of cars- The moms started laughing, and calling my name- Come to find out- The treat that I always buy for the kids on the way to shooting sports is going to have to cease. -- See, I always get them a soda, its once every two weeks and I fiqure it wont hurt. WELL- it wouldnt if Bow had ANY modesty or home training. which after last Thursday I have come to understand he has neither of.
This child just gets the urge to pee, so he stands up, and lets loose- the kids have to cover up the wet spot and move down to fresher dirt.
UGGGGGGG I swear I teach my kids manners! And really try to work hard with them. I tell them, "dont pee off the front of the porch by the steps, go down to the edge, where it doesnt matter if you kill the grass"
THEN, at the end, I am giving directions for the kids for our next fundraiser, and the other little boys mom is standing back there, jumping up and down, calling my name again. I am standing on a trailer, trying to look everyone in the eye; working to get all the information out there, and express how important this even is- and she is laughin her head off and jumping up and down. HE WAS DOING IT AGAIN!!
OMG! SO, all these folks that dont know what he had been doing are paying attention to me, and he is 10 feet behind them, and I cant help it- I have to scream "BOWDRIE MARSHALL!" yep, everyone turned around and saw him....
I am very lucky that for the most part the folks out there are country folks too- so, at the very least they have all had a relative who has no couth and can deal with it just smiling at each other and saying "bless her heart" and letting it go.
BUT, we did have some new kids out there- I hope their parents were not traumatized too badly.
I have been busy with cakes lately- unfortunately, Business is fixing to taper off quit quickly- I am going to have to significantly raise prices. Its a shame, I would love for everyone to have a really cool cake for a cheap price, but I just cant keep doing them for free.
I have been smoke free for 41 days now- and I STILL love it. There is nothing more exhilarating than to know I can live my life without a cigarette. and today, on the way home, I was having breath holding contests with Brett! I dont know how good I did- because it started annoying BR while I was driving and he took away our stop watch. LOL If you know someone who needs to quit, please look into a personal vaporizer, or ecig. its amazing- just dont buy the crappy ones at a gas station- they aint worth it- for not much more you can get something MUCH better!
The farm is pretty normal, we have lots of hogs we need to butcher, but its way too hot- and I have a beautiful smokehouse that we still havent gotten to use.
Today marked the first day of squirrel season, so the boys will be changing up their schedule a little- now, its going to be:
up before dawn,
take the dogs hunting,
come home and feed
THEN start school.
This will last maybe a day- they HATE getting up early. And honestly, I'd rather have an hour or so to myself before they DO wake up.
Although they do love any opportunity to head to the woods- especially if there is hunting involved! They have been rabbit hunting the last week or so- its a night time thing, so they REALLY love that- no 8:30 bedtime- But they HATE the 6am wakeup call!! I keep telling them "it doesnt matter HOW late you go to bed, you STILL have to get up in the morning to wake up the chickens!"
Easter was great- All my inlaws came over and watched the kids hunt eggs, and we all visited on the porch for a while- and we finally got some rain last week- and hail!
Now, I am fixing to make BR's breakfast and lunch, set the computer to download some drivers for the printer and pray that makes it do wireless printing!
I have worked on making it be wireless for days now- And I can NOT get them to pair up. I am afraid that the only way I will get them paired up is to literly shove the computer INTO the printer and throw them BOTH out the window.
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Remember me?
Okay, its been a year- I cant believe its been an entire year- All I can say is Facebook spoiled me.
I still tattle on my kids, I just do it in 140 char. or less now.
BUT, I will also do a quick recap for everyone- in the last year:
*Rayley has become a full time homeschool child
*Bow has grown so much- he can spell his name and CAT and DOG
*We got 3 new dogs, 2 grown squirrel dogs and one new puppy
*My cake buisiness has really blossomed- I did 74 cakes last year- I averaged making 4.63 on each cake- BUT, I enjoyed it. I have done 20 or so this year too.
*Brett got bit by a coral snake- it was a dry bite, but beings how its the most poisonous snake in these parts so he was very lucky.
*BR went to work on the worst day of the year, (it never snows or ices in Jasper) and fell 25 feet down a set of metal stairs and pulled his pinky finger off.
* I quit smoking- a few times, but this last time its stuck- (I am VERY proud of this) and instead I use a personal vapor -
*our farm has grown by about 10 pigs, a feinting goat and did we have the blind calf last time I blogged?
*The kids got to butcher their first hog with Rayley and Bow right in the middle
* We butchered our second set of broilers- This time Rayley got to help AND I have Video to prove it-
*Brett killed his first AND second deer- at the same time-
*I took my conceal Carry class- and passed! I shot that target UP!
*Brett learned how to pull a piglet during birth
*Hoover kept us laughing-
*Rayley has PINK hair on purpose
*I got a beautiful new porch
*I built a really cool smokehouse
*The boys got new bows for Christmas, Rayley got her pink .22 and Bow- who knows what that child got-
*My boys are as big as I am- (that might not be saying much- ) Rayley still hasnt grown into her feet and Bow is.... well Bow- They have changed alot in the last year- BUT are still the same kids- They have grown alot, but still work the ONLY nerve I have left- They are getting more mature every day, and yet I swear I will never get them grown enough to subject the world to them.
*The boys brought home 2 pups who destroyed my AC ducts during the hottest days of the summer-
*Bow decided to start using the toilet for its inteded use and not as a bathtub.
*I destroyed BR's tractor-
*I became addicted to games on facebook and cant stop
Honestly, I dont know what all has happened- its been a fast and fun year- one I wish I had blogged about, because already I am forgetting what happened-
We are hitting the preteen years on the boys, Rayley is becoming more of a drama queen, and Bow is.... well BOW- mean as a snake and smart as a whip and is always into something.
I will try my hardest to get back into the swing of things- start writing again- maybe relate a few of the stories from the last year before I forget them. And hope to entertain you again for years to come!
BUT, right now we have to get ready for Church- OH thats another thing- and very possibly the most important- all 3 of my older childern gave their life to the Lord and were saved this year- They are a true blessing and if we can all survivie their raising, I think they might make some good people-
Ya know, there have been a hundred times I came in here to blog, but I would say "well crap, I cant tell this story without telling the story about XX and YY" and dont have time for that- SO- I wouldnt do it. I wish I had- But now I am taking the plunge and WILL start back.
Thanks for always reading, Thanks for asking me when I was going to blog again, and most of all, thanks for taking the time to read about my crazy life-
I still tattle on my kids, I just do it in 140 char. or less now.
BUT, I will also do a quick recap for everyone- in the last year:
*Rayley has become a full time homeschool child
*Bow has grown so much- he can spell his name and CAT and DOG
*We got 3 new dogs, 2 grown squirrel dogs and one new puppy
*My cake buisiness has really blossomed- I did 74 cakes last year- I averaged making 4.63 on each cake- BUT, I enjoyed it. I have done 20 or so this year too.
*Brett got bit by a coral snake- it was a dry bite, but beings how its the most poisonous snake in these parts so he was very lucky.
*BR went to work on the worst day of the year, (it never snows or ices in Jasper) and fell 25 feet down a set of metal stairs and pulled his pinky finger off.
* I quit smoking- a few times, but this last time its stuck- (I am VERY proud of this) and instead I use a personal vapor -
*our farm has grown by about 10 pigs, a feinting goat and did we have the blind calf last time I blogged?
*The kids got to butcher their first hog with Rayley and Bow right in the middle
* We butchered our second set of broilers- This time Rayley got to help AND I have Video to prove it-
*Brett killed his first AND second deer- at the same time-
*I took my conceal Carry class- and passed! I shot that target UP!
*Brett learned how to pull a piglet during birth
*Hoover kept us laughing-
*Rayley has PINK hair on purpose
*I got a beautiful new porch
*I built a really cool smokehouse
*The boys got new bows for Christmas, Rayley got her pink .22 and Bow- who knows what that child got-
*My boys are as big as I am- (that might not be saying much- ) Rayley still hasnt grown into her feet and Bow is.... well Bow- They have changed alot in the last year- BUT are still the same kids- They have grown alot, but still work the ONLY nerve I have left- They are getting more mature every day, and yet I swear I will never get them grown enough to subject the world to them.
*The boys brought home 2 pups who destroyed my AC ducts during the hottest days of the summer-
*Bow decided to start using the toilet for its inteded use and not as a bathtub.
*I destroyed BR's tractor-
*I became addicted to games on facebook and cant stop
Honestly, I dont know what all has happened- its been a fast and fun year- one I wish I had blogged about, because already I am forgetting what happened-
We are hitting the preteen years on the boys, Rayley is becoming more of a drama queen, and Bow is.... well BOW- mean as a snake and smart as a whip and is always into something.
I will try my hardest to get back into the swing of things- start writing again- maybe relate a few of the stories from the last year before I forget them. And hope to entertain you again for years to come!
BUT, right now we have to get ready for Church- OH thats another thing- and very possibly the most important- all 3 of my older childern gave their life to the Lord and were saved this year- They are a true blessing and if we can all survivie their raising, I think they might make some good people-
Ya know, there have been a hundred times I came in here to blog, but I would say "well crap, I cant tell this story without telling the story about XX and YY" and dont have time for that- SO- I wouldnt do it. I wish I had- But now I am taking the plunge and WILL start back.
Thanks for always reading, Thanks for asking me when I was going to blog again, and most of all, thanks for taking the time to read about my crazy life-
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