The cool things we dream of

I came in here to write up some of the stupid crap my kids have done today.

Then BRett comes running in here. (they had been counting their change on the kitchen table).

"if I have enough money can I buy myself a cell phone?"
"Brett, you are 9. What in the world do you need with a cell phone?"
Matt Says "To call a lawyer, I think you abuse us."
"cause they are cool" Brett says.
"pleeeeaaaassssssseeeeee let them have cell phones momma" chimes in Rayley.
then he says "so I can let Matt call Britney"
I wont let Matt call her. I told him to get her address and write her a letter. He thinks I should let him email her. He's 8. Does she really have email?

I kept asking why, they kept saying cause.
I told them that cell phones didnt even work here.
But they work from town is the answer I got.

I told them there is a monthly bill.
They said they would just put it with mine.


Brett finally says "most of the kids in my class have them"
Truthfully? in 3rd grade?
then Matt says that kids in his class have them too.

Then they got back on the email thing. They said that when they asked their friends for their address' the last day of school they were given email address. And wanted to know why they didnt have email address'. Or phones in their rooms. And pointed out how mean I was to not let them call their friends on MY phone.

What are they going to talk about? Spiderman? The smelly kid that used to sit behind them? or the same things they talk about between themselves. farting, what they can blow out their nose when they laugh and how much coke burns? finding creepy crawlies and how to sneak them into the house?

I do remember being in about the 5th grade talking to a friend. matter of fact it was the summer before 6th grade. I was at my grandparents house. They had a HUGE house and phones in every room. I was talking on the phone and could put someone on hold and then go to another room. I remember it getting late and needing to take a bath and told my friend that I wished there was a phone that didnt have a cord. Wouldnt it be neat to be able to just walk around and not be tied to a cord? I remember us sitting there talking about how cool that would be and how when we grew up we would try to invent one. Where you wernt tied within 2 feet of the phone, that was stuck on the wall. And I am not that old.

Now all I own are cordless phones. I do have a corded phone. but its never hooked up till the lights go out. The other day I was searching for a phone and Brett told me "mom, at walmart I saw a phone that has a cord on it. Its really neat. You should buy one of those and you wouldnt ever loose the phone again. I bet they arent that expensive. You could just hang it on the wall and always know right where it was."

I just laughed. When I was their age I dreamed of a cordless one, they think corded ones are neat.

I even remember asking my grandparents when I watched Annie (I was in the 3rd grade and we got a VCR) about the phone line being attached to the car when they made that phone call. Then I asked if they thought there would ever really be anything like that. They just laughed and said no, it just wasnt possible. I told them that I was gona be rich one day and get a phone in my car. They patted me on the head and smiled. I might not be rich, but I do have a phone! If I just had service out here in the woods I might have it made! :)

oh, back to the kids.....
They actually do have friends that call here. But its always someone wanting to come over. Now I will admit, I dont like kids. and I dont want kids at my house. I gave birth to enough kids so mine dont need 'playdates'. And I sure as HELL dont want to have to entertain mom or dad. Thats why my kids dont go to other peoples houses. I have seen how their kids act. I dont want mine to go there and act like that. AND I dont want to have to reciprocate. NoWAY noHOW!

oh sorry. I got off on a tangent there.
But seriously. I have had a kids dad come up to me and tell me "we drove up to your house the other day, Little Steven didnt want to go with us to grandma's and wanted to come see matt instead. But y'all wernt home.I fiqured they could play in the woods or ride y'alls horses." First of all, I live in the STICKS. You HAVE to go out of your way to go to my house. Most people that come here are lost or were invited. with a map. My own sisterinlaw, who I love dearly and invite to come and see me, wont. cause my drive way almost requires a 4 wheel drive. there's a reason for this. It cuts down on the riff raff. This same kid, called here on mothers day. MOTHERS DAY. and wanted to come over. uhhhhhhh nope. This is supposed to be the day I am pampared (yeah... right...) why in the hell would I want someone elses kid here for me to have to deal with?

As far as us not being home.... Its a good thing. I would have had to hurt their feelings. I wouldnt EVER have the audacity to just drop off my kids. ANYWHERE. Heck, my inlaws, grandfather and mother get mad at me cause I never ask them to watch my kids. Its not that I wouldnt LOVE to grocery shop with out all 4. Its just that I dont want to inconvience them. if they wanted them, they would call and ask.



Anyway. Back to the cell phones. I told Brett that his 11 bucks and some change wasnt NEAR enough to buy one. He swore it was. I told him that if all it costs was eleven bucks to get a cell phone I would have replaced mine that I ran over on Christmas eve. (its a sony ericson, z5something or other. not a bad little phone, but its kinda crooked now, but it did stand up to a truck running over it and mushing it...)

I do want to get them those 'chatnow' phones. They are cell phone thingys that are 2 way radios. But you can text message. I plan on teaching one of them to text message pretty soon. So I can give dictation while I am driving.

heck earlier today I was printing some things and was on the floor messing with my printer. I asked one of the kids to push enter. it took him 5 minutes to calm down enough to push it. He was so excited that he was getting to touch my 'puter.

OH and thats another thing. BRett wants to play games on the cell phone. He isnt even capable of playing shrek 3 on the PS2. But in his defence that might be 'cause I never let them play it.

But even if I wanted to get them phones I couldnt. I already have 5 on my plan. BR and I, my mother and father in law and my mother. There will come a day when I have to get them one. And I dont know what I will do then.

Did I tell y'all that they made the AB honor roll for the entire year? BOTH of them!! I am SOOO happy!

And I swear Rayley is eating me out of house and home.
Last night I made banana bread. I made 24 mini muffins and 18 large muffins. I ate 4 mini muffins while they were still warm. (they broke when I was taking them out, I had to eat them....)

BR ate 3 big ones when he came home and took 2 to work.

There are 3 big ones left. I was ONLY gone to town for 4 hours. I had to go and get groceries. My mom called and offered to watch the kids over here. So I hauled butt.

While I was gone I dont know what all she ate. tuna fish I know. Since I have been home she has had 2 peices of pizza, a ham sandwich, a PB&J, muffins, 3 glasses of milk, another PB&J and .....
I am going to have to sell blood to buy groceries for this kid.
And the boys are twice as bad.

I really could just pinch their little heads off. As soon as I get Bow to sleep they will come in here and wake him up. One time it was by all of them spinning around in circles trying to get dizzy. Then as soon as he is good and awake, they will leave the room. I will make them come back and play iwth him, and they will inevitably piss him off so no one but me can make him happy.

And He has a new game.

He will go to the end of the couch, stand up and peer over it and look into their rooms. Then when he sees or hears them coming he will drop down, squeal, and crawl real fast to hide behind me. And will just laugh his fool little head off. As long as his head is hid he thinks no one can see him. you call his name and he laughs harder and squeals.

And did I tell you he was cruisin?? Yep. EVERYWHERE> if he can stand up and hold on he will follow till there aint nothin else to hold on to. Then he hits the floor crawlin.

The kids sat in the floor for about 30 minutes today taking turns playing peek a boo with him. He just stared at them at first. Then would laugh. Then he decided to take away the blanket. He would crawl over to who ever was covered and pull down the blanket. Then he started biting on them. Matt will let him bite and slobber all over him. I am really scared he will catch something.

This child eats ANYTHING. and EVERYTHiNg. I thought Matt was bad. that is why we call him Hoover. But he wasnt nothin compared to this thing. I tape his ears at night, cause they kinda stick out. well he was sitting here trying to not go to sleep and I heared the tape coming off. I look over and he is eating it. He wont even suck on a binkie cause it keeps his mouth too occupied to put things in.

So far today I have taken away : Tape, a hair bow, 5 differnt shoes, 8 differnt peices of paper, my remote 3 times, my toes 7 times, matts nose and ear. Rayleys hair, Rayleys MP3 player, my mouse, my shirt, 6 wipes ( he knows how to hit the button and open them), the cat twice,(yes, I have to take away the cat. she will just sit there), my cell phone, various toys the kids brought in, and he has bit at least everyone of his own toys a few times. I also made him quit chewing on the couch, the coffee table, my computer desk, and the cow the kids and BR rope.

I did make a mistake today, since I was gone most of the day the kids never really were made to go outside. My mom let them watch TV. they were wound up tighter than an 8 day clock. It didnt matter what they were doing, they would end up wrassilin, fightin, bouncin, spinnin, jumpin, throwin somethin, you name it I threatened their lives over it in the last 5 hours. I sent them to bed at 8:40. At 10 I can still hear them. No TV, No lights, no nothin. Just them talkin, and tossin somethin around.

tomorrow they will be awoken early and sent outside. with strict order to NOT come in with threats of bodily harm.

I will have them BEGGIN to go to bed.