Maybe I should take up Turkey Hunting.

Its really never interested me. I go more for big game. If I am going to waste my time getting up before dawn and traipsing out through the cold, to sit in a COLD stand, and freeze my toes off, while I am denied my cigerettes and Dr Pepper, plus my computer, I am going to kill something that feeds me for more than one meal. Plus its a teeny target. And I HATE those calls. They are like nails on a chalk board. They turn my stomache, and make my hands dry. I dont know why I always want to put on lotion after I hear one, but it makes my skin crawl, my stomache turn and stimulates a need to mosturize. Not my idea of fun. I have been known to hide any calls that BR manages to bring into this house.

But today was the National Wild Turkey Federation Banguet and we always go. And they usually have some good stuff there. We enjoy two of these things a year, the NRA banquet and the NWTF banquet. We have been doing them for years and always save up the money to go and support our local chapters. One day the boys will be enjoying the bounties of what we donate. And it gives me a reason to put on makeup, dig out my fat babies, and BR and I get to enjoy an evening out. Kid free.

Of course it started out in the pea patch. All my days do here lately. I put up 11 more meals worth last night. That makes 66. I honestly cant put anything else in my freezer. I had to put this stuff in the fridge freezer. I had to take all the flour and cornmeal and such out of that freezer to fit it in there.

I woke the boys up to help me pick. They were NOT happy about that.. We got out there and I told them that to make any money they would have to get busy. They just kinda sat down at the front of the row and started staring at the peas. I started picking. Matt got to working a little, but was still running way behind me. And Brett was still staring at the fist plant.

I told Matt that since he was doing so well and Brett was just sitting there that when he got done, if he did his row RIGHT, and didnt leave alot he would get to go where ever he wanted while I sat out there all day and waited on Brett to finish. He wanted to go to my MIL's. So I told him I would call her and ask.

He got busy. Brett was STILL sitting there. I did my row, Matt was half way done with his and so I jumped over onto his. He was at least showing some get up and go. I met him about 1/4 of the way down. I told him to turn around and lets go back, you really would be suprised at how many you miss just cause of the angle. He did miss quite a few, but was catching most of them on the way back. I only pointed out about 35. Thats a far cry from the 112 that I picked after him the other day.

Brett had started moving by now and I jumped over onto his row. Starting at the front. I had emptied my two and half gallon bucket before I started. I found 18 peas on the first 2 plants. He had stared at these plants for over an hour.

I have offered them money. About 200 peas fit in a small bucket, I offered them 3 cents a pea OR 3.50 a bucket. They are thrilled with the 3.50 a bucket. I will explain it to them when the season is over.

Money didnt light a fire under them, more money didnt light a fire under them, and even a promise of going where ever they wanted today didnt. THey could go to Aunt Jeans, THEY LOVE to go there, my grandfathers, I was trying to get ahold of my MIL. Just where ever. But no. Its not that I want to force them to work in the garden. Its that I want to spend some time with just me and them, we never get to. AND I want them to appriciate the food, where they get it and possibly learn a little about the best way to live. Self relience is an amazing thing when you work hard for everything. Its great to know that you can survive. By growing and hunting your own food. Plus it tastes sooo much better.

Finally, after I had 3/4 of a bucket. and he barely had 1/2, I told him, if you make enough money you can buy you a cell phone. He got BUSY. I really didnt know he wanted a cell phone THAT bad. He is 9. But DAILY he and his brother ask me if I will buy them a cell phone. At least once a day. ANd its not like I am on mine 24/7. They dont even work here at home. And he never goes anywhere where you can use it.

I really dont want to buy them a cell phone. Really I dont. I dont think they need one. I dont think any 9 year old needs one. Heck, I was in 8th grade before I got my own phone in my room. And I paid for it with my birthday money.

I wonder if you can get a track phone that will allow you to only text message? They could text each other. I dont want them to be able to call other people. And they are NOT allowed to have them at school. Its a HUGE nono.

When we got done pickin we got to the old place and started shellin. Uncle Gerald and Aunt Etta had to leave before we were done so I finished them up with the help of abbot and costello. They were bound and determined to loose a finger. OR see just how many peas you could shove through at once with out clogging the whole machine up.

I had made plans with my mother to keep the kids this evening. Since she is the only one that will keep Bow. At all.
When we got home I went strait for the shower. By the time I got out of the shower my house was again wrecked. BR was off today, and got up shortly after we got home at around 11. We had until 5:00 to leave, but I still wanted to go ahead and get my make up on and hair done. I know the kind of catasprophes that can happen around here if I wait till a normal time to do it.

Of course while I was flatironing my hair, which resulted in me having it all piled on top of my head held up with barrets and clipie things to make sure I did a good job on it. I looked like a sheepdog. Of course, at this point BR decided he needed help with his head. He shaves most of it, just leaving a small amount on top and it still has to be cut real short. I call it a high and tight on steriods. I was showered, had just finished puttin on lotion, gotten my makeup on and was half way done with my hair and had to stop, help him and ended up using the clippers, which shot hair ALL over me. and it stuck to the lotion.

All this time the kids keep bringing Bow in the bathroom to tell me something. Mostly just so each time they came in there I would be seen by Bow and he would start screaming wanting me to hold him. I really dont take long to get ready. usually about 15 minutes. TOnight I was trying to look nice, so 30.

After I cut BR's hair, and got him happy he jumped back in the shower to wash all the hair off and Brett came through with a very upset Bow. So I went to take care of that. Once I got him happy I started back. I had like 4 minutes left on my hair, then the phone rang. I had to take it. When I got off the phone ANd got Bow happy again, I headed back into the bathroom. My hot iron had timed out by now and I had to turn it back on. BR and BRett were standing at the closet door saying things like "Boy is she gona be mad." and "we gotta tell her anyway"
So BR says "come look at this." and both of them are just a snickerin.

I fiqured that there was cat issues somewhere. I had movedher litter box in there. I was bracing myself for the envitable griping when I walked to the door. BRett was still giggiling and BR was saying "YOU HAVE GOT to see this."

I looked. Fire ants ALL over his hanging up clothes. he said he couldnt imagine where they came from, there was no line of ants. So I got to looking. we moved the clothes back and low and behold there was a hole in the sheetrock. NOt a large hole, just a small pin hole where the staple they held the wall in place with had went plumb through. Ants were TEAMING out of it.

I just walked away. Of course it was the section of BR's clothes that were his nice clothes. The shirt he was going to wear tonight.

I told him to throw them in the tub and I would deal with them later. See this is why I started at one oclock trying to get ready. Here it was 3:30 and there was a catstprohpe.

I just ignored it and finished my hair. What about a shirt? well there were 3 in the floor, but since I had asked earlier which shirt he wanted washed and he said nothing I hadnt washed them. I tried for years to have a laundry basket in our room. Nothing ever made it in there. You just are supposed to pick the stuff up off the floor and KNOW what is dirty and what aint.
I aint Miss Cleo.

Finally I was able to get dressed. I put on my shirt, with out messing up my hair, my jeans, with just a little bit of pushing, pulling and holding my breath, and then steped into my boots. I have lime green and periwinkle fat babies, luckily. Cause its okay to show the tops of them. Noone thinks anything about you not untucking your jeans when you wear fat babies. This works out great for me. Since I cant bend over once I get my jeans on to make sure they are pulled down it is perfect. I look like I did it on purpose.

Since we were taking the kids to my moms I didnt have to dress them. IF I had needed to dress them I would have started trying to get ready around 11. I made them get all rounded up, got them in the truck and we started off.

We had decided to go to subway and eat before our banquet. I aint real fond of the food they serve at them things. So we went and got our gas (had to fill up of course), and headed into town. It was quite weird to go to town with out any kids. I kept thinking I was forgetting something.

We arrived at the event center a little early, and sat out in the truck playing with our phones. HE showed me how easy it is to get on the internet with his, and how quickly it brings up pages. He had a damn one dollar phone that loads pages and pictures 100 times faster than my 500 computer. Is sickining. Of course the site he chose to show me the fast loading pictures was the Thong of the Day site at the bob and tom website. Not my idea of quality web surfing.

We were meeting both his brothers and their wives for the banquet and were supposed to be saving their seats.

They had a few nice things. One item on the silent auction caught my eye. It was a glass bowl that sat in a deer horn base. It would match the silver ice server that sits in a deer horn base and has 4 tumblers that I got a few years ago. BR bid on it and we checked out the raffle table. They had about 6 or 7 guns they were giving away, and then had like 15 differnt raffle buckets. Each bucket had anywhere from 7-15 items that you could win. Then there was the bonus table, and of course the 2 gun tables. One for the smaller raffle package, and one for the larger package (you get a try at the smaller package too). for years we have bought the larger package. Its quite expensive. 200.00. but BR worked overtime just for that money. We know it goes to a good cause, and usually win a little something.

There was only one thing on the regular auction that really struck us. The one deer print. Its a limited edition print on canvas and really beautiful. We got one last year and its hard to tell its not a real painting.

I signed the boys up for the JAKES thing, they will really enjoy that. I am going to put them in the shooting sports this year so this will mesh right in with that. Plus I found out today that there is no longer a limit on draw weight when bow hunting. Since they will be doing archary in 4-H they will really enjoy that. I am able to pull back over the previous requirement of 40 pounds, but they arent yet.

Luke and Amanda were the only ones to show up. They said that Toby and Suzie had decided to drive an hour to Beaumont instead. Toby needed a clip for his phone or something. I called her and told her that I would think about her when I won that gun. She said she would think about me when she saved the money she would have spent on raffle tickets to NOT win the gun.

We had a good time, and this time it was fried catfish. Not bad either. So I managed to eat a little. Luckily I had only gotten a 6 inch sub at subway. We had a little bit of a problem with our silent auction thing. My old vets wife was trying for it too. She kept running up there when he would threaten to pick up the papers. The last time she ran up there he had already called pencils down, so she wasnt able to write her name down. Amanda picked out a miniature wooden bench that would be perfect for Rayley. it was so cute and in the back was a metal frame work cut out of a turkeys legs, with baby chicks behind her. She only got a 100.00 package of raffle tickets. It took me forever to put in all those dang tickets, but she put most of hers in the bucket with the camoflauge crock pot.

BEfore we got started depositing them, I tore all of mine apart and twisted them up. Not leaving them flat. Everyone at the table was picking at me about it. Telling me that I was goofy ( okay, so I cleaned that up for a PG rating... I think the direct quote had something to do with the fact that carrying all those tickets up there I would have them scattered like a mentaly challenged womans droppings) BR finally took them away and told me to just drop them in there. Since I didnt want them ALL dropped in the buckets with just turkey calls I didnt want him to go and do it.

Noone really bid alot. Most of the pictures were going for VERY cheap. 125-160 dollars. Heck, BR had bid 285 or so on both of the ones we have gotten previously. I was having high hopes for getting out of here cheap!

The one we wanted was number 6. It was the first deer picture and the prettiest by far. And since things were going so low I belive some of the members decided to jump the price up a little. Just my luck. BR ended up getting it for 200.00. Not a great price, but not as bad as it could have been.
The rest of the stuff up there wasnt of interested to us. There was one bear picture that was quite nice, but since it was the LAST picture on the table, and its an open bar, we always know that the LAST thing is the most expensive and is way out of our price range.


Luke decided he wanted an elk picture that they had. ANd started bidding. Well someone else wanted it to. Before it was over he got the highest priced thing of the night. 600.00. I was shocked. Usually Luke is so tight he can make a buffalo nickle fart. But if there is one thing you will learn about Byerly's is that they dont back down from a challenge, and telling them they cant buy something is a challenge.

He also decided he liked the bear picture and low and behold so did the same woman that he had been in a dead heat against on the elk picture. That one only went up to 300.00. Amanda was quite thrilled with that.

Then it came time for the raffles. I had gotten 500.00 worth of tickets for my 200.00 so I laid out all the cards. BR again got agervated with me. Telling me they went in order and it wouldnt be hard to find them.

They did the jakes sign ups first, and Matts name was called out! I picked him out a cooler. one of those little soft sided ones.

I tried to call Matt at my moms and tell him that he had won something, but like the other 3 times I had called to check on the kids and Bow, there was no answer. I really HATE it when someone wont awnser the phone. Especially when they have my kids. Maybe that cell phone would come in handy after all. I know nothing was wrong. My grandfather lives next door, and he would call if they needed me.

Then it was the adult ones.
They called out the first numbers and it was ME! I went up and got a gun case, turkey calls and various other sundries. I hate a turkey call. its like someone grating their nails on a chalk board. There was not only a slate call, but 2 or 3 mouth calls. YUCK.

Then they went down the buckets.
Amanada was checking hers, I was checking mine and a friend that was sitting beside us was checking hers. Noone won anything. The last bucket came along and they called out the numbers. Amanda hadnt won yet, and I was watching our friends tickets. She was like 3 numbers off. Aint that about right. THen I realized it was MY numbers. I had that ticket too!! :) so I got the first and last bucket! The Emcee said it was cause of my lucky green boots. Of course there were more calls. This time a box call, more mouth calls, another striker call, a deer/doe call, a crow call, an umbrella and binoculars.

Then they were on the bonus tickets. you got 40 in the larger raffle packet. THey had a few guns, a hunting blind, 2 really nice lawn chairs, a big nice grill, a turkey fryer, and something else. They started calling out the numbers on that one. The guns always go first. then someone got the blind, our friends got the chairs, and low and behold I got my number called. I picked the grill!! Usually you take your booty back to your seat, but I asked if it was okay if I left it there. He said yes, and told everyone "that grill is hers, and if anyone touches it she is gona stomp you with them green lizard boots!"

They were onto the red ticket guns, I got to put 2 tickets in that one, and had my fingers crossed. There were 3 guns and a print. Just my luck my number would be called 4th.. Of course when we were looking at all the prizes, we always discuss "what if" and BR tells me which guns to pick in what order. When we got to that table he told me if I picked that print over a gun he would kill me with the gun we won last time. Heck, I aint that stupid.

They called out the first number, not me, not Amanda and not our friends. Amanada and Luke only had this one ticket in a gun bucket.
The second time he drew out he started to read out the numbers and then said "Amanda Byerly!" that goofball had written her name on the tickets. I saw her over there doing something before we went and dropped the tickets, but didnt pay her no mind.

I was SOO thrilled that they had won one. I dont think they have won from the raffle before. Not even sure they bought much before. but I think now they have the bug.

They called out the next numbers for the last gun and the print. Nope. NEITHER of my tickets matched it. :(

They had asked us to fill out a form for Chevrolet, just a little questionaire, and there was going to be a drawing on it too. I handed mine to our friend, but tried to scrunch it up some. BR told me to just hand it over, and picking at me, she grabbed it and Lukes and hers and ran them over the side of the table, to straiten them up. Well they decided to draw for it next, heck I had forgotten about it. Guess who's name they drew? Our friends. Kid you not. I think when she took ours up there she threw mine away..... :)

They won a sponsered membership for next year. or this year, or something. Either way, it wasnt a bad deal.

Then they went to the gun drawins. the last of the night. There were 3 guns up there. They drew all 3 tickets. The first was not me. The second wasnt even close.

and this guy LOVES to draw it out. He will call out the numbers, then hold off on the last one.
This was the LAST gun of the night. and he was taking his sweet time. 62797 with a pause for effect and then 4. I heard what sounded like cheers of delight up towards the front, so I barely glanced at my ticket. then BR jerked it out of my hand, he stood up. There were groans and everyone was loud. I was trying to make sure he had said 4. BR was lookin like he was fixing to strangle someone, cause that WAS our number. Then the guy at our table grabbed the ticket and pretended to run. We all started laughing, and the guy called out the number again. BR was still standing and heading up there. well, if he goes up and gets the gun, he has to put it in his name. which means that he has to go to town and pick it up. His work schedule doesnt allow it with out him missing a days work. So I told him he couldnt go and get it. He was handing me the ticket and the emcee started saying something. Now I have seen him throw a ticket to the floor, cause someone didnt holler out quick enough. I started hollering, "I'm comin!" He was laughing and said he was waiting on me. Whew! The last gun of the night. I have GOT to quit doing this. my heart wont take much more..

I got a H & R 20 Guage Youth Model. I get to pick it up on Monday. I am SOOO excited!! When I got up there he told me it would fit me perfect! and he's right, I do better with a youth model. But even if I didnt, I got 4 kids at home that will fight over it! :)

When we got home BR started counting the prizes, there are at least a dozen calls of various agervating sounds, binoculours, a cooler, a nice grill with NWTF and turkey tracks cut out of the side, with a poker that has a turkey foot made of the metal, a huge umbrella, a gun case, the antler bowl and the picture. Not bad.

The kids played with that crap for hours. between them and BR I thought they would never stop with the scratching and gobbiling and grunting.

I never did get to point out that my scrunching of them tickets might just be a good thing.. and maybe I wont.

I did one last thing before I went to bed, aside from a full body drenching in the greasiest lotion I could find.

I sent my sister in law a text that said "Did you feel the love while I was thinking about you tonight? Hope you had fun, wish you had came!"