Just a short glimpse into my life

A little background.

The Cowboys are KING around here. I grew up that way. at my grandfathers knee.. back then there was no DVR, pod casts, rewind. you either saw the game RIGHT THEN. or you DIDNT see it at all.

At my house and his its still the same. When the boys are on, DONT screw with us.

BUT we are a little more advanced now. We have DVR's. even he has one. He has had one for nigh on 5 years now.

Which is lucky for him. Cause he is now an avid church goer. and Church on Sundays starts at 6 and ends at 8. (at night) and the game starts at 7 tonight.

So, this is the phone call I get. This is the phone call, or some variation there of, that I get ONCE a week. at least.
actually, I was outside, so when I came back in I looked at the caller ID and saw he had called, so I called him back. He is fixing to be leaving cause he is going to a visitation at the funeral home before church tonight.

SO here is the phone call:
at 4:23pm. game starts at 7:15pm

"Hello-" (his wife answered)
"Let me holler at hunney" (yes I call him hunney, cute story, remind me later to tell you why)
"Hey Chelle! "
"Yep, whats up? "
"was tryin to fix the tv. needed it to go over, but I just told it to record"
(now, here is where he looses most folks. He thinks you KNOW what he is thinking. BR has threatened to strangle him on more than one occasion)
"I told you last week that it would automatically set for an hour after it was over."
"oh well I told it to start now. I'll catch it I reckon when I get home"
"Just listen, we can reset it right fast"
"I only have a few minutes"
"this will take 2 minutes tops" (optimism is a failing I have)
"alright, set it for me"
"pick up the remote" (I know that you have to start with basics)
"the TV one?"
"no, the satilite one" (see, I told you)
"oh, good, I was wonderin why you wanted the TV one"
"I didnt want the TV one.. oh never mind"
"so what do I do?"
" first we have to make sure you are actually recording--do you see a red light on the DVR?" (belive me, this is a crucial question)
"whats a DVR?"
" the satilite box" (stupid me...)
"by the TV?"
"yep, that one. Not the one in the atic" ( OH HELL, why did I say that.. he doesnt 'get' flippancy-- It has to do with his HIA syndrome)
"there's one in the atic?"
"no." (CRAP CRAP CRAP.. I will NEVER learn)
"do I need one?"
"never mind, is the red light on?"
"yes"
"okay, push the stop button"
"on the Tape player?"
"what tape player?" (I bet he means the VCR)
"the one that plays those disks?" (hmmmm... I was wrong)
"NO, on the remote for the DVR-- I mean satilite box"
"the one in here?"
"huh?"
"this satilite box"
"Yes, push the stop button on the remote to the satlite box"
"the yellow pause button?"
"no, the one with a square on it"
"the one that says DISH NETWORK?"
"no, the one UNDER the pause button, with a square"
"do you mean the arrow?"
"the one 2 over to the left"
"the record button?"
"no, that one has a red circle. its BESIDE the play button, Hit the one beside the record button, wiht a white box"
"ohhhh, okay." "Well crap"
"what?"
"am I sure I want to stop recording"
"yes, push the purple key to the left of the select button, till it highlights yes"
"okay"
"push select"
"now?"
"preferably"
"okay, I did that"
"now, hit guide"
"get the TV guide? why? you told me the game came on KBTV at 7:15" (did I mention he is deef as a post? and yes, I meant dEEf)
"it does. hit the GUIDE BUTTON, on the remote"
"the satilite remote?"
"yep"
"okay"
"now scroll forward till 7"
"what do you mean?"
"hit the long button to the right of the select button until you get to the game that says Cowboys and Packers"
"okay"
"now, hit select"
"on the remote?"(naw, on the flippin fridge)
"yep"
"do I want to set it?"
"yes. make sure its highlighted to record it to the DVR, once, then hit select"
"okay"
"you should be all set"
"how do I watch it?"
"when you get home, have Mary come in, hit the rewind key and holler at you when its finished rewinding"
"why?"
"cause otherwise, you will come in during the middle of the game, and know what is going on and then whats the point in watching the begining if you already know the middle?"
"hmmmm, never thought about that"
"and you can fast forward through the commercials"
"oh, you can?"
"and y'all think I am the dumb one"
"So, does that mean I dont have to stay up till 11? I can just fast forward?"
"no, we cant fast forward if its live, we cant see the future, only what we recorded, but if you time it just right, you should get live right towards the end of the game, thereby missing all the commercials"
"ohhh, how do you rewind?"
"that button with the 2 arrows on the left hand side?, hit it 2 or 3 times, everytime you hit it, it gets faster on the rewind"
"dont use the one you taught me to use for seeing the play I missed"
"no, that would take an hour, it only does 30 seconds at a time"
"ohhhhhh.. so I come in, hit the rewind button and get to watch from the opening kickoff till the end"
"yes, but you dont do it, let Mary do it, that way you dont see it backwards"
"hmmmm, okay"
"so, where is that peice of paper where I wrote down these instructions last week?"
"I think Mary cleaned the counter and threw it away"
"oh"
"well, now I am runnin late, thought you said this would take 2 minutes"
"you had an I D 10 T problem. But we got it fixed"
"how often does that happen?"
"what?"
"the I D 10 T problem?"
"Apparently weekly"
"hmmmm, wonder why?"
"I dont know, but when you drive by here on your way to town, you need to drop back off Rayleys car seat, you left with it earlier when you droped her off"
"oh, wonder how I did that?"
"Dont know"
"I'll see you in a minute"
"awright"


5 minutes later he drove up, put Rayley's car seat in the truck and then walked up to the house. He opened the door and told me my keys were in the floor board of the back seat. I was gona loose them. this made no sense. My keys are in the ashtray. always. unless I am in town and they are in my pocket. but with my kids you never know....
SO, I put on some shoes, grabbed up Bow and walked out. He opened the truck door for me, and handed me a VERY large, egg shaped, bright purple and yellow, with 4 buttons on it 'key chain'. Dangiling off were 2 keys about 4 inches long and 2 inches wide.

I told him Thank you. shook my head and sent up a little prayer that they make it the 1/4 mile to church and are able to remember where they live on the way out....

He asked me if I had the same TV stuff he does, I said yes. he looked at my house and asked where we put the attic box, since we didnt have one.

I told him I kept it in the truck.