I quit smoking on March 22, 2011 with Electronic Cigarettes

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Hello, My name is Michelle

First of all, let me appologize for my neglect and lack of communication. I have been suffering from a terrible ailment. Not a physical ailment, but a mental one. A dependacy if you will. I am ashamed to admit that I have become an addict. I have been sucked down into the deep black hole of dependancy. Not being able to function, not caring about showers, food or any of the basic nessesities of life. Instead I have sunk into a deep unfunctional dependancy.

And in doing so, I have not blogged, I have not checked emails, I have not been to the message boards I frequant or help to moderate. I have done nothing but sat here and fed my addiction. One mouse click at a time. You see, I was challenged to a game of Gems Swap II and I took the bait. All that night I played this mind numbing game. Never making it past level 1. I played until my mouse hand was LITERLY asleep. I couldnt feel my fingers, my eyes were crossing and my husband was wondering if I had fallen prey to a romantic liason on the world wide web.

So, I drug myself to bed, where I lay dreaming of colorful baubles, that taunted me and danced around. In singles and doubles, but never getting close enough to another of their ilk to make a line of 3. In my dreams I did everything I could to make them gravitate to each other. Begging the pink hearts to gather round the other pink hearts. THe green squares to please find a match. And so on.

The next morning I woke up to get the boys to school and had to get back on the computer. I even got Bow back to sleep so I could. He didnt even fight me. And after that, there was no stopping me. I HAD to get past level 1. Finally, the vixen who had introduced me to this fun and exciting new world let loose a secret. She told me that I had to turn the back grounds of them gems white. From Black. Meaning each space had to be touched by me. OHHH, the gradure. I was now able to advance. I got to level two. Then Three. I was on FIRE!

I even got to level 4! the feelings were amazing. There is no pause button, so once the clock starts you are up against it all. I started challenging other friends. And it felt so good when someone would take the bait. I was in a phycadelic world of beautiful baubles and bringing my closest internet friends in with me. We were enjoying the heediness of a great game, lamenting when we were just one black square away from the next level.

THen THEY started to cuss me. and call me names. It was awful. I had given them this wonderful pastime, to enjoy and bask in, and in my mind I also knew that I NEEDED them to be addicted. With out them, I had noone to challenge. But, none of them are able to tear themselves away either. THey are hooked. Same as me.

As dawn came, on my second day of play, I continued. I would get so close to level 5. Only to be thwarted by one measley square. But I kept plugging along. You become a person in a trance. Having to continue.

Next thing I know, Rayley wakes up. She comes in and sets beside me. Her first words are "Mom, I'm Hungry, can I have some cereal?"
"yes baby, let me finish this round"
"okay, is it fun?"
"yes baby. and agervating. " I said as I fouriously clicked
"so you are getting rows of 3?"
"sure am"
"then what?"
"then I get to the next level and do it again"
she watched a few more minutes. enjoying having me to herself and watching the pretty jewels.
then, out of the blue I hear " So, you have to turn all the squares white?"

I had spent HOURS trying to fiqure out why I couldnt advance. HOURS. it took this kid 5 minutes.

I did eventually get up and get her some food. and I picked up a few things. Promising myself that if I did a little work, I could go right back to playing my game. and play I did.

Its not like this is my first addiction. I have been addicted to caffine since I was knee high to a grasshopper and cant get off it. I am still struggiling every day with my cigerettes. But, this is just as gripping, just as soul sucking, and gives me as much if not more of an adriniline rush, as any of the other vices I might have.

This was days ago. And then BR chose to take Saturday off. Not on purpose, but his truck needed work and they didnt get it done till that evening. So he couldnt go TO work.
He actually wanted me to leave the house. Wanted to go to town and get a bite to eat.

He asked the kids where they wanted to go.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOO, when we go to a buffet I have to wait on them hand and foot, constantly getting up and getting them something else. THEN I have to pay for the food!

At least at home I can throw it all on the table and they can sometimes get their own! But if I DO have to get it, I dont have to walk a country mile to do it.

So, I picked the mexican food joint. Matt did second that, and BR promised Brett he could get what ever he wanted at the resturant.

So, everyone dressed, I played a quick game while BR took a shower. and then we headed into town.

The kids were SO good at lunch. The waitress kept on completmenting them. And they really were good. YEs ma'am and No ma'am. and no fighting, and we laughed and honestly, we had a great time. We didnt have to get on them a single time.

One time, Rayley looked behind us and saw a print of some mexican musicians. It was a typical scene, Dusty street adobe buildings, and they were standing in the street wiht all their instruments. A lady was leaned out a window of a building and Rayley looks up adn says "Look mom, the 5 muscateers". ROFLMAO. Oh well, at least she can count..

Once we left there we went and spent some time at BR's parents. Of course, my mother in law has became adicted to the games you play on the satilite. So she was playing scrabble when we got there. We played a few word games. and visited. Then we came home and I played a few games on my own.

Today was just a lazy day. BR and the kids did go out and fix some part on the tractor. We are getting ready for planting season. The taters go in the ground on Feb 14. So we have to disk up the field they will be going in this week.

Hunney (my grandfather) called and he and I were discussing the placement of the few things we are planting. Taters, Corn, peas. NO SQUASH!! of course, nothing goes in till the taters come up, but we were discussing the rest of the field and if we needed to disk it all up, or leave some of it in pasture so we could put a heifer on it.
BR was over here steady talking. Asking me questions and gesteruing wildly. Then when I hung up, he got exasperated. So I asked why. He said that he was wondering where the corn was going to go, are we planting enough for the cows too, or just us, and shouldnt we be disking up the whole field, and that the horses and a few cows wouldnt need the other two small pastures and .... blah blah blah.

I explained that Uncle Gerald was putting my corn up near his pea patch, that only the taters would be down here, then that land would go fallow for summer grass. He said that he needs to know all this. I am not sure why. He will be working 12-15 hours a day. usually 6 days a week. The planting Uncle Gerald will do. Simply cause even if I show up with the tractor he will still do it. He just LOVES it that much. I will be helping him. Of course we will do alot of the disking. or at least most of it. and then I will end up doing most of the picking.

But When I explained that I wasnt even really privey to it all, that Uncle Gerald had picked the best places on the land for the crops I wanted, and basicly he would just tell me where and when to show up to do what ever grunt work he wanted me to do. Thats just what he does. which is fine. This man knows and has forgotten more about planting than I will ever be able to learn. But BR said I had to understand his point. He is getting his information from the 'dumbass chain'. First it goes through a senile, deaf old man, talking to another senile deaf old man, deciding stuff that niether one is listening to the other on, and is passed to a blonde, who then tells him half of it, before interjecting with a story or going off on a tangent, then following up a little while later with more tidbits. And GOD FORBID, if he doesnt have his english to blonde dictionary handy.

And I understood. Hunney and Uncle Gerald are senile, old and deaf as a post. The both of them. And they will agrue. Like the other one even listens. Its like watching 2 kids arguing over a toy. Except usually the knotheads are both on the same side. they just want to argue, and its easier to argue with someone who you think is wrong, then it is to listen to them.

As far as me and my blondeness. He should be used to it by now. I mean its been 16 years. heck, he should be used to THEM by now. and he is. But being a Byerly, he has to bitch about something. its in his blood.

I just wish that BR had time to learn all this from Uncle Gerald. Cause we are all aware that my memory SUCKS.

Oh today the boys also decided to shoot again. I had some old apples that I offered them and they couldnt wait to shoot them.

And we DID refrain from telling them the story of William Tell. THank GOD. Cause they were wondering who was gona hold the apple while the other shot...

Brett wanted to have a contest. So they did. and Matt got it first!!

Then on the LAST round, cause it was getting way too cold, Brett finally got his arrow in an apple.

They were 21 feet out. We are fixing to move them back to 10 yards, but this is pretty good.

Oh and Matts boots FINALLY came in! Matter of fact, Friday was a banner day for him. His boots came in AND he got Bulldog of the week. Of course, the goal is for each kid to get bulldog of the week at least once during the school year. and since we have been in school for around 20 weeks, it makes sense that he should get it now. Brett got it the first 6 weeks, before he screwed up too badly. But at least Matt did get it this soon. Last year Brett got it like the month school was out! she had already went through the class once, then started over, and he finally got it.

Anyway, it doesnt matter how he got it. I am still proud :)

But, all in all, I think he had a pretty good weekend. and he LOVES his boots. He is so thrilled!!

And I had to include this picture of Rayley. She just looked over at me and was cute as a spotted pup. She was up on her daddy's tractor and I took the picture while she was berating one of the boys for something or other. I didnt get a smile.

These are her new Fat Babies. She is so proud of them. And Her clothes are by barbie. Even the cap.
The second one is her hiding from Bow. She fiqured she would just blend it I reckon...

Now, if y'all will excuse me, I have a challenge I must meet. Now, dont judge. You would be adicted to. or you might be... Its on facebook. if you need an invite just shoot me an email......

LEvel 5, here I come!!

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