I needed a laugh.

I am in a VERY bad mood today.
At 4am or there abouts the alarm went off. Since I had went to bed before midnight it woke me up. After a few minutes I woke up BR. I dont know how he can sleep through this. He hit snooze, so I tried to doze back off. I didnt have to be up until 5:15.

9 minutes later, it happened again. And this time it kinda woke up Bow, he went back to sleep, and I tried. Of course, my mind started thinking, for some reason baseball is bothering me this year. I just have a feelings its going to be a crappy year.

The next time it went off BR got up. So I was blessed with the most agervating thing in the world. His box fan hitting me squarly in the face. You would think that after 16 years I wouldnt mind this slight annoyance. But I hate it. TOTALLY despise having this fan on. The noise, the cold air, and the sore throat and clogged up nose that it gives me every morning.

How do I know that the fan is to blame?

THere have been times when I didnt wake up with a stuffed up nose and a sore throat. When BR was working a job in Alabama and I was not subject to the torture of constant whirring and tornadic force winds blown into my face. The time he was driving over the road, and most recently, the 2 years that he worked nights and I slept on the couch. I was able to wake up, with no scratchy dry throat, no cold nose, and best of all, there was no sound of plastic blades being spun at 87 MPH.

But now he has went to days. So, I am back in our bed. And as much as I love my husband, I despise his fan. And the sad thing is, he cant understand why on earth anyone would not like his fan. He doesnt get that its annoying, that its what stuffs up my nose and makes my throat sore. He says I am crazy. Or maybe he just doesnt care. Maybe he thinks its cute to make me suffer. I dont know.

AND on top of that, he will not turn it off when not in use. SERIOUSLY. it almost hurts his feelings that I dont like this fan. And to be fair, its not his fault. He was raised with one in his face. Each of his siblings has to have one in their face going. and each of their spouses hates them as much as I do. Not a single one of them can sleep with out this confounded contraption sounding like a helicopter trying to take off in the night.

I can get up and turn off the fan when he gets out of bed. But thats not the point. and like when he was sleeping days and I was sleeping on the couch, if I went through the bedroom and turned it after he got up, or left, he would act exasperated at having to turn the dial and start the blades to turning. Plus, there are times when he doesnt wake me up when he gets up. So, I wake up later, having been subject to this annoyance in my sleep and the clog and sore is that much worse.

And GOD FORBID, the day when it wont start back up. Yes this has happened, more than once in our 16 years. It runs for days, or weeks, and then I just cant take the noise/wind speed/agervation any more and I turn the dial off. When he comes back in to go to bed, or just walks by and its not on, and he turns the dial, and it wont come on. It has given up the ghost. You better hope its the time of year when fans are on sale. Cause you are making a midnight run to walmart. Again, his siblings are the same way. And their mother. I love her to death, but this fan thing is the most agervating habit you can give a child.

I have tried to buy quiet fans too. NOPE, that aint gona happen. And finding a noisy, vibrating, box fan is getting harder and harder to do. Because the normal, quiet loving public is more and more demanding a fan that doesnt sound like a prop plane taking off.

Sorry, back to my morning. So, He got up. Leaving the fan going. So I got up, turned it off, since when he is out of bed it blows RIGHT in my face.

I laid back down, Bow snuggled back up to me and then the cat, who I am starting to really dislike as much as the fan, jumped up and tried to lay down beside Bow. Not a problem. I dont care who she lays beside. Rayley had a cat as a baby that laid beside her and she couldnt sleep if the cat wasnt there. Seriously. when that cat was ran over (someone left the door open and out she went- yet with this cat, I can throw her out the door and she will tear down a wall to get back in) she diddnt sleep for weeks. Anyway, Fido (yes, thats the cats name.. she fetches) was bound and determined to sleep beside Bow. Which is fine, except her fur was tickling him, and he was finding her distracting and was trying to bite her. He loves this cat. HE can body slam her, pick her up and tote her, bite her ears, it doesnt matter, she searches for him and puts herself in harms way. I have tried to stop it. I have taken her away from him, she just jumps down and goes back to him. She seeks him out.
So, her laying beside him was keeping him up, and I had about 30 minutes before I had to be up. PLUS, I really would prefer he stay asleep for a few more hours.

So I picked her up, and put her off the side of the bed. 2 seconds later she was back. Again, off the bed, a third and a fourth time. Then, I fet her jump BACK up. but she was at my feet. That was fine. No problem. I really dont mind her in the bed. at long as she stays at my feet. I mean this cat was BORN in my bed. UNDER the covers. against my leg. NOT a good way to wake up at 4am. But thats what her mom did. (another VERY GOOD CAT, but again. door got opened and I never saw her again.)

But instead I feel wet on my leg. Since she is NOT pregnant, I knew what she had done. So, I jumped up, grabbed her and threw her out the door. I am fed up. Finding that she has soiled dirty laundry is bad enough. or even clean laundry that she has found stacked up. It doesnt happen ALL the time, but its happened enough that I fed up with it. To be honest, I am fed up with all the bed wetting around here. Its CONSTNANT. and I am just tired of it. I know that kids cant help their bladders. And it heriditory. So, I get that its not their faults, but when I have to start every day by washing at least one set of sheets and blankets, it is just agervating. Or what ever Bow pees on. He can get a diaper off, and much prefers it that way. or when the diaper doesnt work and you have worse than just some liqued to clean up.... But for her to pee in my bed is the last straw.

Of course I had to get up. Had to get Bow up. who was bright eyed and bushy tailed, and stomped out here. I have woken up the boys, gotten them started on getting ready and luckily, Rayley decided to wake up too. She was asleep on the couch. I dont know when she got there, but she told me I had just missed O'Rielly and hoped that I had recorded it, since noone will teach her to use the remote.

Of course she wanted to go to daycare, and couldnt understand why she cant. So we had a drama queen moment when the boys left. Bow is proceeding to tear up the living room and the damn cat managed to get back in the house when I let the dogs out. She is currently hiding under my bed.

Oh and when BR came through after his shower to finish getting dressed, he turned on the ceiling fan here in the living room. We hadnt been in this house 2 weeks and one day while I was at work, he went and bought this ceiling fan and installed it. I have gotten better about a ceiling fan, and will occasionally turn this on one, trying to keep the AC off. But, today was NOT the day. Of course, some of my aversion to a ceiling fan might be physcological. I had one fall on my head when I was in 8th grade. Ruining a peach cobbler that I had been begging for and crashing the glass kitchen table that I was sitting at. I still have the scar on my hand from the flying glass.

Back to that damn cat.

I have had her ancesters for years. They NEVER had these behavior problems. They didnt sleep in my drawers, they didnt find clean clothes and pile up on them. They didnt sleep on top of my dryer where clothes were stacked, or in my iron pile. and they NEVER pee'd ANYWHERE except a liter box. but she has simease in her. maybe this is why?

My grandfather brought the matriarch of this cat family with him from South Texas. A small, black tortise shell, tailess cat. The ugliest thing you have ever seen. And sweet as a bowl of sugar. My first of her offspring was Ugg. that was Rayleys cat. Then we had this ones mom. Again, a wonderful cat. The most annoying thing she ever did was follow me from room to room with her babies. They were hours old and she brought them in the living room. Cause this is where I came. It took me the longest time to make her quit bringing them to me on the couch.

Anyway, Since I am in such a bad mood. I thought I would blog about something that would make me smile.

When the boys were little, I mean like a year old and two years old. Me, my grandmother, grandfather, Great Aunt Jean, BR and them, went to a mexican resturant in Hondo, Texas. It took a big table, and of course neither boy was very close to BR or I, they were sitting beside someone else.

Brett was across the table from us, Matt a little further down on my side. Everyone was talking and the kids had been given crackers. I think BRett was given chips, cause we fiqured he could handle them, But Matt was still a baby of sorts, and just given crackers. Next thing we know, the waitress screached and pointed at Matt. She didnt speak english, but she was very upset. So we all looked. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary, he had his fingers in his mouth and was smiling. She kept saying "baby hurt, baby hurt" and finally she showed us, She picked up the hot sauce, they sit out a dozen of the little bowls of hot sauce to dip your chips in. And when she did, he reached up wanting it. She said "no no baby, hurt baby" and he started to cry. He started to babble to Brett.
Brett started to holler to give it back. He wanted it back.
Matt continued to holler/babble to Brett and Brett continued to say "give my brofer back his hot stuff"

See, Matt didnt talk to us. PERIOD. he talked to Brett. Till he was 3. Brett would translate. and occasionally after about 2, Matt would say a few words every once in a while, but for the most part, anything he wanted to communicate, was done THROUGH Brett.
By now the waitress was motioning to us that he was eating the sauce. She put it close to him again, and he reached out and grabbed some on a finger. Right into his mouth it went. Well all the noise had caused quite a stir and everyone was staring. I am sure they were thinking what bad parents we were. Then when he put it in his mouth and smacked his lips, noone could belive it. THe waitress just looked kind of shocked, said "he like?" and when we nodded our heads, kind of in shock too, she said "he have?" we said "why not" it was half gone anyway.
Brett just said "I told y'all so" and went back to eating and talking.

to this day Aunt Jean still cant belive he loved it so much, she had said it was too hot for her to eat. Of course it might be cause when he was a newborn, we were staying in a hotel with a mexican resturant in it. THE BEST resturant you have ever ate in, and we ate there every night. Now he wasnt eating it, but he was still nursing. and I didnt hold back on the jalapanoes, the sauce, or anyting.

ANyway, once everyone calmed down, and started smiling again. Putting away the cell phones they were calling CPS on, we started to enjoy the company and appitizers. when the food came BRett said something. AUnt Jean asked him what? She is a little hard of hearing. He said it again. I wasnt paying any attention, I was arguing iwth my grandmother about something, and finally Brett said "I WANT MY FORK-N-KNIFE", VERY loudly. Not a big deal you say? well, very very fast, I want you to say "FORkiNKNIFE" with a southern accent.

Yep, the whole place gasped, out came the cell phones ready to dial CPS again, and people just stared. Finally BR said "he wants his Fork and Knife."
"YES FORK-N-KNIFE" said BRett.

a collective sigh, a few giggles, and I was again relieved.
Maybe this is why I dont get all excited when they do something mo-ronic. Why nothing really shocks me. You just get immune to it.

This story always makes me laugh, and has been told and retold so many times that everyone with in a 150 mile radius has heard it. It was one of my grandmothers favorites before she died. And Aunt Jean just retold it to us the other day.
So, aside from the fact that I have to put my bed clothes in the dryer, and still havent decided that we wont have 'suprise stew' for dinner, I am feeling a little better.

Thank you.