Are they asleep yet?: Our last hope is dashed

After the buzzard debacle I was hoping to not have anything to blog about. For a few days at least.

Yesterday was one of those days where you KNOW you have something to do, but cant remember what. Then I remembered that it was Coffee with the superentendant. But thats at 7:30am. I have to leave the house at a little before 7. Which is fine, except I have the other two brats. And I would have to take them with me.

So I opted out.
I felt really bad. Cause last time there was 1 other person there. and I knew she wasnt going either.

Then luckily later in the day (around 1:30) I was talking to Pam about the benifit that we are doing for Bridge City PTA (due to Hurricanne Ike) and she mentioned seeing me at the ballpark. I asked her what in tarnation she was talking about. Tryouts were at 5:30. WELL HELL.

So, I called my mother in law, making sure she was coming strait home. Sometimes she will go get groceries and not get home till around 4:30 or so. She was. Then I called BR. I asked him what time he would be home. He was on his way 2 hours south to drop off a load. But would try to get back quickly. This would put him home at 4:45 at the earliest.

Then I tried to find all the baseball equiptment. I quit soonvafter. Then I did something I never do. I called and asked my mother in law to keep my 2 youngest brats. It was a bad connection and I couldnt hear her reply. I was in luck!

While I was getting ready I had an audience. I finished doing my hair and makeup and Rayley said "well, you'd be pretty, if you wore girl clothes" I had on my Dallas Cowboys hoodie and jeans. It was nasty outside, threatening rain, I was going to a ballpark, AND, if we were there after dark it would get chilly. I asked just what she expected me to wear.
"a pretty skirt would be nice"
I snorted
so she said at least a pretty shirt. I was appalled. a child of mine not worshiping the great blue star!!
Then she said if I wasnt so fat I could wear her Dallas Cowboys cheerleading suit. And suggested I get my own. I snorted again. She told me that wasnt very lady like.

Then, she is playing with my hair and says "why are these ones rotten?"
"WHAT?
"these on bottom, are they dead cause your old?"
"NO, they are just not bleached by the sun!"
I have blonde hair, I dont die it, but the bottom layer is brown. I would imagine if I never got out in the sun it would be dirty blonde on top, but if I get outside alot its platnuim on top. Its just always been like that. I have had a 'dye' line where you could see the brown roots since 3rd grade.

My beautician is always telling me that she has people pay hundreds of dollars to make their hair look like this.

I have some hairs that are so bleached out by the sun they are white, its just a jumble of 50 differnt shades of blonde. and my child thinks its rotten. Just wait, hers will do the same thing. I was a cotten top when I was little too. As was BR.

When the boys got home I told the boys to hurry up and get dressed, then I went and dropped off the brats. BR was running a little late, but was home and almost ready when I got back. We hauled butt to town and were only 10 minutes late.

This year they have the 9 year olds on 'minor' league. Then 10, 11, and 12 year olds have a chance to make the 'majors'. If they dont make the cut they are on the 'minors'.

Each kid got two balls thrown out to them from a pitching machine, they had to catch it in center feild and throw it to second base. Matt missed both, but not by much, and did manage to get it thrown back in quickly.

Brett caught one. Both were thrown back in. Neither kid had time to warm up.

Then it was hitting. They were pitching them out of the pitching machine which I thought was dumb. The machine was erratic and I think ONE 9 year old hit the ball. These kids are not THAT bad. Matt swung at everything, and his swing looked good. But the balls were just in the dirt.

Brett was with the 10 year olds, so by then they had a little bit of the erraticsism (yep, its a word... now) worked out. Brett hit the second ball as a pop up foul, but it went back and over his head, going out of the park we were in and into the park next to us, (about 12 feet away). Then his 3rd ball he hit down the 3rd base line.

Again, very few kids hit the ball. Batting practice pitches would have been better.

That was it and we were done. I am hoping both make the 'minor' leagues. it would be much better on me. Only one team, one set of practices, and much less deisel.

We got home around 7 and did something we have NEVER done. We turned on American Idol. there is a hometown boy on there, Micheal Sarver. So we watched it. and now we know why we dont.

It wasnt that bad, but just not something we are into. Of course, come 8 the TV started to change. We record both Dirty Jobs and Scrubs on Tuesday night. I told BR to just go ahead and turn it off, even though Micheal hadnt been on yet. He said no, we could skip Scrubs. I thought that was very nice. :) I had put a roast in the crock pot earlier and thrown in taters and carrots before we left, so all we had to do was heat up the rolls. Supper was great. I think I ate enough to kill a horse. I was just glad that I had for some reason done supper like this today.

I had forgotten my cell phone when we left. this is something I NEVER do. But when we got home BR went to plug his in, he saw I had a text message. It was from Holly. She always has to remind me about the 4-H meetings. Seems we had one at 6:00. Oopps. I missed it. In all fairness she texted me on Monday to remind me. But we only catch a signal here every great once in a while, so I didnt get it. Stupid At&T.

Oh and while I write this, we got our first pre-order for our benefit!! We are counting on selling 1,000.00 plates, will ALL the money going to the BRidge City PTA. if we do that, we will raise 5,000.00. These kids had NO fundraisers this year, and have done NOTHING. No field trips, no fun things, and its just not fair. We really hope we can do a little something for them.

I have been trying to get the newspaper interested, or a TV station, but they just dont care. I bet if we were doing this for New Orleans they would be all over it like a chicken on a June bug.

Our local businesses have been very generous with us. And Walmart is donating the chips and water. Thats not a bad lick. The few things that we couldnt get donated and are having to buy at cost, some of us are chipping in and getting, so there is NO expenses out of the money raised. Plus we are all cooking desserts. I volunteered to make around 12 dozen cookies. sometimes I scare me.

OH, and I spoke to my children last night. I told them that there are things we cant catch and bring home.

They looked at me funny. So I elaborated.

First on the list. They are not allowed to catch any bears. This would NOT be an issue, except some idiot decided they should RE-introduce bears into the wild here. I mean its worked out so well with the wolves in Idaho... They havent been here for many many years. Our forefathers eradicated them. For good reason. But the mo-rons in the capital decided that bobcats, coyotes, and panthers were not enough of a threat to livestock, children and pets and took it upon themselves to bring us a new species. I am NOT happy about it. But they didnt ask. Its just the small bears, but a small bear will still tear something up, kill small farm animals and tear up a chicken coop or hog pen. Not to mention a kid dumb enough to try to catch them. I am sure there is a 'no kill' on them too-until they 'establish' themselves and they can open a hunting season. I am sorry, but I look at a bear in my yard same as I do a potential rapist. I doubt they are just there to borrow the phone.

They looked at each other and said "even those little ones they just released up here?"
I said "NO BEARS!"
So one said: "maan mom! we have been waiting on them to miagrate over here from Scrappin valley or Tyler county so we could find one! thats no fair!!" (Scrappin Valley is about 30 miles as the crow flies, and Tyler County is about 7, strait down the road)

and the other said:

"y'all said it would be about 2 years before they would be in our back yard we'll be bigger then."
I started listing, deciding alphebetical order would be best.

When I listed Armadillo, they said "NOW THATS NO FAIR!, you told us a long time ago, if we thought we could catch it, to go ahead"
Well that was BEFORE they caught a freakin buzzard. Now I know there is more than a snowballs chance in hell that they can. So, I took it off the table.

Then I get "gee mom, no buzzards, no snakes, no more rats, no coons, not even an armadillo - but you dont tell us till we do it. you are gona have to make a more comprehensive list, I guesss you just dont want us catchin nothin..."

I told them to quit using words they couldnt spell, and I didnt care how good their argument was, to stop catching creatures and bringng them HOME."

they started listing other animals
I shot each down.
They accused me of taking away all their fun.
Finally, I told them, they could bring home ALL the wild animals they wanted. BUT they had to be DEAD, skinned, and ready to eat!

They started to smile so I added "and YOU have to eat the first bite of it.-AND it has to be a legal kill."

I thought that, maybe, JUST maybe, if they know they have to eat it, they will stop bringing it home. Cause I could see their little wheels turning, they would expect us to eat EVERYTHING they brought home, but fake not being hungry.

I think I was wrong. Apparently they have a country kids version of a 'bucket list' and they were in their room modifying it last night...

I doubt that this will stop them. And honestly, I dont want their courisosity to end. I just dont want extra hospital bills. And this could be partly mine and BR's fault. In the past, we have been asked if they could go outside and catch something, or in a fit of agervation, we have told them to go outside and chase something. Something we never fiqured they would find, or could actually catch. So, our version of "go play in the street" has to be modified. before they bring home an Emu.

I mean when a kid says "were going saber tooth tiger hunting" we just smile and tell them good luck.

or when we get agervated and want them out of the house, we will tell them "go catch a Turkey"

I thought they were just playacting, and actually GOT that we were being facetious. I was wrong.

I am not sure I have alot of hope for them. I have a feeling they will be a handful all their lives. So, I decided last night I have one chance left. Maybe ONE of my kids (one out of 4 aint bad right?) will grow up, make REALLY good money and support me in my old age. Princess whinesalot is out. She is gona have to marry a millionaire just to afford the dry cleaning of her clothes. Her shoe habbit is going to cost a pretty penny, and it will take all of the poor mans time and effort to deal with her drama. so that leaves dear little Bow.

Then, I am sitting here working on this benefit, and Bow comes from the kitchen whining. he crawls up on the couch and gets right in my face, with this pitiful little whine. Since he cant talk he either grunts or whines.
and then I look.

My last hope, the light at the end of the tunnel, the last 11 years of my life, and the next 18 are dashed in one fell swoop. Stomped on. Killed. burried and burned.

I have NO chance of even a decent nursing home when I get old. They will probably still be living with me when they are 40. Missing a few fingers, an eye or three, maybe even more important limbs. Aflicted with some animal borne desiese like leopordsy from the 'dillers, and draining the life out of me.