Stupid is as Stupid does...

Well, Poor Hoover didnt make it to school today. I woke him up and he was swollen up even worse. He almost looked like Bubba Blue from Forrest Gump. Imagine him with a fat lip and there you have it. I even pulled out a bag of frozen shrimp out of the freezer and asked him if he wanted shrimp kabobs. He didnt get it. And I couldnt get him to say "shrimp kabobbs, shrimp burgers, shrimp ...." I tried.

I kept him home. BR got mad cause I didnt take him last night to the ER and get stitches. I had thought about it. But when we mentioned it to him he went into hysterics. I fiqured it was safer to not go to the ER. Had I not been able to make the bleeding stop it would have been the only option. But it did stop bleeding before he even went to bed.

Brett was NOT happy about Matt not going to school. He felt it was unfair. I reckon Matt was thinking the same thing. Not about going to school, but about having a huge swollen appendage that he couldnt get rid of. I am sure he would have traded places with MR. Poorpitifulme in a heartbeat. Brett was so mad at me that he wouldnt even tell me good bye. It made him even madder when I laughed at him.

When Matt did wake up he came in and sat beside me. I asked how he was feeling. He tried to talk and couldnt. Finaly in his agervation he got up and got a peice of paper. And a pen. All I could think was "oh great, now I have to read chicken scratch ALL day. This kid writes like an afflicted chicken. I promise you. He would have to improve his writing 100% to become a doctor.

But when I got the note to the question "are you hurting bad?" it said "no"
plain and clear.

Not bad...

I asked are you hungry. "yes"
"but I cant eat"
ahhhh I didnt think about that.

I offered ice cream. Then realized, it had been MONTHS since I had bought any. So I went and looked. Yep. ALL chrystalized. it looked like supermans home planet.

I talked him into chicken broth. He agree'd. He ended up finding an old soup spoon and would pour it into his mouth, holding his head at an angle and swallow. It was funny to watch. But his grunts and hand signals got rude when I would laugh at him.

I knew the next thing I wanted to do would be met with absolute resistance. The ice that I tried to make him put on it had been. But I had to make him do the lysterine. I started by telling him that he really should go to the Dr. and the only way to avoid that was to pour this on there. Otherwise they would have to take a scalpel and scrape it away, give him shots and then give him something that burned like alchol. No, I am NOT above lying to get something done.

Heck years ago I told them potaoe salad was mashed taters with cherry's in it for them to try it. They LOVED it. I have kept up the creative marketing since then.

He agree'd. So I poured it into a cup, gave him a Q-tip and asked if I could dab it on. He declined. He wanted to do it. I was sure one touch and it would be over. But it wasnt. He said it didnt hurt. so then I went to the pouring it on there. Before long he was doing it every hour or so with out me telling him. He even said he liked the taste of it. That sounded great to me. I wouldnt have to stay on him to do it.

It took about 4 hours before he would mumble. And it took a good 8 hours before he didnt have drool constantly coming out of his mouth. He looked like the English Mastiff on Hooch. it was kinda funny. But again, it pissed him off if you laughed.

He did play, and was tossing a ball around by 11 am. asking when Brett would be home. He played with Rayley. WHo would get mad cause she couldnt understand him. She kept asking him to speak up. And he was great with Bow. He helped me clean the kitchen. helped me make lunch and was a great kid. I know he hurt. and the few times I would make him laugh he would get tears in his eyes.

I told him that I would call his baseball coach to say he wasnt gona play tonight if he wanted me to. He said that he didnt want to play. But since he was so entergetic I couldnt understand why. Till he explained that he didnt want folks to laugh at him. I tried to explain that noone would, everyone has had a busted lip and if nothing else, it would get him lots of sympathy and compasion. He didnt want to admit he had fallen and busted his lip.

But he did decide after Brett got home to play ball. I wasnt going to make him. But he did have to go to the ball park. I had to take Brett.
I think he realized it would be better to play than to just sit and awnser questions all night.

My mother in law had saw Matt when she dropped off Brett and called me. She said it was awful and that maybe I was right and should have taken him to the ER. She said she had never seen a kid go so crazy being hurt. And that with all his theatrics last night it was hard to tell how bad it was. I told her I knew. And that this had really been the first time either one had gotten hurt like that. THis is shocking to both of us. How they have never broken a bone or needed stiches before is just by the Grace of God. He does take care of fools apparently. I was just glad it was Matt and not Brett. Brett pukes at the sight of his own blood. I fiqure he would faint if he ever saw that much of his own blood.



I did call his coach and tell him about it.ANd asked him to not make a big deal otu of it since he was embarresed. He told me to tell him to tell the other kids he had been in a fight. This appealed to him. LOL

First I took him to my cousins house. He works at the ER and I wanted to find out how much damage I had done by not taking him in last night. He said it looked good. and they wouldnt have stitched it up anyway. He did tell me to add some peroxide to the lysterine and that it would just be real sore. This sounded great to me. I can just imagine how much money they would want. Plus you know they would have given me a perscription for something that has the same general make up of lysterine and costs 100.00. With out insurance I swear they really stick it to you.

His game went well. He batted in a run and played good defence. I left right as his game was over and went to watch Bretts. It was already in progress. I walked up as he was walking back to the dugout. He had struck out. Matt showed up and was batless. he had his bat bag, but no bat. I asked him where it was. He didnt know. I sent him back to find it. This is a 90.00 bat. His birthday present last year.

Then Brett missed a ball in center field. The kid got a triple. When his next at bat came up He had 2 strikes and 2 balls. then he got hit under the knee in the shin. He started limping down to first base and I told him to shake it off. From where I was standing I couldnt see 1st base, so a few minutes later I decided to walk down and see how he was doing. The coaches were discussing something and the pitcher was keeping warm.

Come to find out the 1st base coach was getting in a pinch runner. I asked what the deal was. Brett was coming off the bag and then when he saw me he said "I can run, it doesnt hurt". His coach asked if he was sure. He said yes.

I asked if that was what the hold up was. And the coach told me that he was hit on the shin. He was sure it hurt. I told him that when he saw Matts lip, he would understand that Brett would do just fine. Brett just shook his head. I think he was getting sympothy and didnt realize it was gona screw him out of the baserunning. he just liked the attention. The coach wanted to make sure he was fine and asked me if I thought he was hurt. I told him that if he wasnt flailing around like a fish out of water that he was just fine.

Well, the next pitch went wild and he had to run. He took off light a light. I dont think I have ever seen him run that fast. The coach just looked at me. I said, "you just wait, you'll want to kick him in the other shin when you see Matt".

Brett managed to steal third. And then stole home. Matt came back and couldnt find his bat anywhere. He cant remember if he had it when he left the dugout or droped it on the way. I cant wait to hear about this from BR. I called the coach, and a few other moms. they hadnt seen his bat.

After the game Matt and I went to get Brett from the dugout and One of the coaches saw Matts lip. He was shocked. He asked him what happened, and since he was in uniform asked if he had played. Matt told him that he had. He couldnt belive it.

Brett hollered at the first base coach to look at it. Now it was Matts turn to get attention. He preened as much as a kid with a busted lip can preen. Brett tried to take credit for it. The first base coach told me that I was right. Brett could deal with the little pop on the leg. it had hit the dirt before it hit him. I just laughed.

When we got in the truck I asked Brett what the hold up was. He swears the coach was insistant on him being more hurt than he was. ANd I asked if it still hurt. He said "by the time I got to second I had forgotten about it" He did say he could hear me hollerin at him to RUN.

We drove around the ballpark for 20 minutes looking for the bat Matt had lost and never could find it. I guess I will place an ad in the local peddler tomorrow. offer a reward. It does have his name on it. Engraved and in sharpie. But I doubt that means much to anyone. And there are NOT that many Byerly's at the ball park. Matter of fact, mine are the only ones. I fiqure we will never see it again. And you know good and well that some parent is telling their kid "wow, what a great find."

When we got home Brett was getting undressed and said "ohhh look, its got a little bruise". Matt said "oh no... I have a alittle bruise too". Brett asked where. Matt just looked at him. Looked at me and said "your right mom. he can be dumb as a box of rocks..."

I told Matt that we needed to medicate his lip. And I poured a little peroxide in a medicane cup and filled it up with lysterine. He was skeptical. But I reminded him of what Johnny had said. And he let me pour it on there. I expected it to sting a little. But instead it became the most facinating thing the boys had ever seen. The way it bubbled up and turned white just intriqued them. I asked Matt if it tickeled. He said he couldnt feel it. I guess thats a good thing.. LOL

I am going to send him to school tomorrow. He still cant close his mouth and sounds like a fish out of water with all his slurping. But at least he is controlling the drooling now. Since he and Brett go to differnt schools I am sure he will tell them all that 'the other guy looks worse'.