Why I never try to fix anything.

Last Night I could feel a little ickiness coming on so I took a sudafed. I hate taking sudafed. It makes my brain feel like a ping pong ball bouncing around in my head. Plus I cant really fall asleep.

At 12:30 I went to sleep. At 2:30 I was woken up by a loud commercial. why do they do this? the program will be so low you have to turn it up full blast, but the commercials are so loud on the lowest setting that you can hear them outside.

I woke up, turned down the TV, turned back on Antiques roadshow ( I fall asleep watching that everynight off the DVR.) and there was a chirping. it was a smoke alarm with a low battery. Except I have electric ones. They are on a breaker. I am not sure I like the thought of that, but anyway, its how they are. SO why in the hell do they chirp? I tried to ignore it. Eventually I fell back asleep. The chirping has been going on for a few days, off and on. But it hasnt been this loud.

When Antiques roadshow went off it woke me up because it was dead silence. Except for the annoying little chirp.

I turned it back on and went back to sleep.

At 4 am I was awake again. The baby was snoring. So loud he woke me back up. By now the DVR has went into automatic download mode. You cant turn it on, or anything until it gets done. I hate that. Oh and there was the damn agervating chirp.

Finally I went BACK to sleep. At 6:45 BR came home and woke me up. I was sleeping so soundly at that point. He said I should go on to bed ( I was asleep on the couch) cause it was too cold in here for Bow. It wasnt, the child is a furnace and was soaking wet from sweat as always. But he had already gotten him and started that way. I drug myself off the couch, got a diaper and hoped I could get bright eyes back to sleep. At least I couldnt hear the damn annoying chirp from in there.

I mentioned it to him. He said "what chirp?, I dont hear anything."
I told him it was in Rayley's room and you could hear it from the living room.
"I dont know, I havent heard it. Whats it sound like?"
A FREAKIN CHIRP! an ANNOYING FREAKIN CHIRP!

I did fiqure out why he wanted me to go to bed. He had been out working all night and it had turned cold. He was a freakin ice cube. So I had a furnace on one side and an ice cube on the other. I should have just let him take Bow to bed and they could have leveled each other out.

I got to sleep about 30 minutes after I went in there. He had turned on Gladiator (his fall asleep movie of choice on the DVR) and was snoring before the freakin words came up on the screen. BUT I know from 14 years of marriage that if you change the channel, even when he is snoring he will wake up, and ask why you did that. Then complain for the next 3 hours how what ever it is that you are watching is keeping him awake.

It was about 7:30 before I got to sleep. Then at 8:15 I was awoken by the phone. Seriously. The PHONE. My kids are gone for the night. I am sleeping, BOW is sleeping. I dont HAVE to get up and someone calls at 8:15.
It was my grandfather. I should have known. He wont call at 8. That might be too early. BUt its no holds barred at 8:15. That is when all of the free world should be awake.

He hung up right before I could get there. And do you know what I heard upon walking into the living room? YEP. A DAMN CHIRP! I decided it was time to either fix the alarm or find the bird and kill it, I searched out the cordless phone, tried to soothe Bow, who I had woken up trying to get untangled from frosty and the flash, and after I dialed he didnt answer for 6 rings. Then he said "are you alseep?"
NOPE! I am awake.
I put Bow down, started talking to him and trying to find something tall enough to stand on to reach the stupid fire alarm.
"whats that?"
"whats WHAT?"
"that pinging"
Okay, this man couldnt hear a buffalo fart next to him, but he hears a ping over the phone at 8 in the morning.
"its not a ping, its a chirp"
"sounds like a ping to me"
"well it aint"
"Huh?"

I told him what it was. He told me to change the batteries and they wont do that. I told him they were on an electric circut. He asked if I was sure.
I told him YES.
He wanted to know how I knew.
Other than the fact that it was messed up when we got the house and they had to rewire it, the breaker box says that number 14 is the fire alarms.
He asked if the breaker was messed up. Nope. First thing I checked. I had even reflipped it incase it was flipped, but didnt look flipped.

I drug a stool in there to stand on and balanced my way up on it.
Then he asked for my address, I started to tell him. "1278..." I am Eight inches too short. i have to stand on the stool and look strait up, and I cant quite reach the alarm.
"whats that?"
"My address" I started looking for something to poke at the annoying white cylender from hell with.
"12784?"
"well thats the first part of it. 12784 RR 839" AHA! her Beauty Pagent trophy's.. IF I cant prod it into silence I will beat it into oblivion.
"wait, your address is 6 numbers?"
"yep" I started poking with the beauty queens outstretched arm. But it was too wide, and wouldnt hit the little button. I am poking with one arm, looking strait up and trying to maintain my balance while holding the phone.
"thats wierd"
"thats what they gave me" I swear, there should BE SOMETHING here...
"okay, so what is it?"
"12784 RR 839" There we go, an unused pencil. One of the many we are always trying to find come homework time.
"what the RR stand for?"
"Retard Route." To get the pencil I had to get DOWN off the stool; its not really a stool, its a kitchen stool/chair/ladder thing. Most folks' grandma's had them in their houses. Neat little thing, the steps fold up and slide under it and it has 4 legs that it stands on, but they are not real sturdy, Its missing 2 of its rubber boots, on opposite sids. Plus I am blind as a bat, trying to hold the phone between my cheek and shoulder, just woke up, am dealing with someone who I am not sure isnt starting to suffer from dememtia, AND this DAMN THING IS chirping like a hungry freakin baby bird.
"huh?"
"RECREATIONAL ROAD"
Now remember I still have this INSESENT chirping that is SO loud when you are in the room with it. And I have a goofball on the phone.
"okay so what else?"
"nothing else"
"thats it?"
"yep" I say as I am prodding with my newly found prize, holding it by my finger tips, at the little white button that is recessed on this torture device.
"city and state?"
"yes, I have to have a city and state on my mail for it to be delivered here."
"what about a zip?"
"Yep, since about 1963. They have been in effect."
"same as mine?" He says, right BEFORE teh ALARM goes off! Apparently, if you hit the button and HOLD it down for a few seconds, it will 'test' the alarm. Sending SHRILL beeps all through the house.
"YES, since you live less than an 1/8th of a mile from me, its the same as yours."
"wonder why my address is so easy and yours is so long?"
"I live off the actual HIGHWAY, and YOU live off a Country Road that breaks OFF the highway" Ahhh, I got the SHRILL BEEPIN to stop and now its quiet again.
"oh.. I reckon I do."
"so what do you need the address for?" I started to climb back down, slung the pencil as far into the recesses of her bedroom as I could and headed back to the kitchen to find caffine.
"Well, Matts birthday is coming up, you did remember didnt you?"
"yep. I remembered." I said, right as it CHIRPED once more.
"well I didnt know if you would have the party before I got home or not."
"when are you coming home?"
"we will be done on Friday, and start out that night or early saturday, we'll be home by Saturday afternoon"
"I wasnt gona have it before Saturday afternoon anyway, and his birthday is not till Sunday"
"oh, so you think you can hold off on it till we get there?"
"well yeah, its not like its a big production and My dad is coming in for it, so if y'all can make it that afternoon let meknow and we will try to make it convienent."
"okay. Are you looking at Saturday or Sunday?" didnt we JUST go over this?
"Saturday if possible, but if your job isnt over till Saturday we will do it on Sunday"
"okay, well if you dont mind planning it for Sunday, that way we will be sure to be there."
"no problem, I dont mind a bit"
"so is it gona be at Jeans again?"
"no, I thought it would be here, We have imposed on her too much"
"oh, well Jeanies been doing them for a few years now, so I fiqured......"
"she did them LAST year, and I thought we would let it be here again, like it was the year before"
"oh, well, I'm gona send his card. We might not get in till late Sunday night and wont be able to make it."
"alrighty."

HUH! So I was right, having those parties over there was ALL to make his wife happy. Oh well.

The kids were dropped off around 10. Amanda didnt even sit down, she ran in, dropped them off, talked about 5 words and hauled butt. The boys were mildly annoyed at Rayley. She kept asking for some lolly calli shoes. And singing this off the wall song. and then BEGGIN for some lolly cally shoes again.. They said it was something to do with shoes, make up and a locket or some such...

I asked her what she was talking about. She said something about a commercial, and it was on TV, and the shoes were princess shoes, and they had spots and dots and were pink and colorful, and ....

I swear with in the first 3 minutes of them being home I could feel the vien in my forehead start to expand. Dangerously.

I told them that we had to get ALL the laundry done up today. to PLEASE go find EVERYTHIN they had in their rooms that I needed to get washed.

They grumbled and groaned then started that way.
I went to their door to ask what they wanted for lunch. And I heard
"is that all of it?"
"yeah"
"well dont stuff ALL of it under there"
"why not?"
"if we come out of here and dont have ANY clothes she will know something is up"
"oh your right"
"wait dont put that one in there"
"why not?"
"cause she just folded it and gave it to us to put up yesterday,"
"oh yea.. she might realize we hadnt worn it yet"
"be sure to get the hangers out of the shirts, 'member she caught us last time cause of that!"
"oh yea..."

They came out with a small pile. I decided right then and there to make chili for lunch.
"here are all the clothes"
"oh good, thats not much, I will get them done up in a little while"
"okay, can we go play till lunch?"
"sure!"
"whats for lunch?"
"chili"
"I HATE CHILI!"
"I know,--- are you sure you got all the clothes?"
"yep"
"then go play"
out they went. I went and got about 3 loads of clothes from the laundry room, took them in their room, put them on the bed, found their stash, piled them on top and called them back in.

"I found the clothes in y'alls room."
"what clothes?"
"Matt did that!"
"nu-uh" you did it too!"
"doesnt matter, y'all get it started."
They drug it all out, and got started. The seperated it, started a load and then with out me saying a word took out and folded the load I had in the dryer.
THey got 2 loads done and my other sister in law called. She wanted to take them to the air show in town.

I told her they could go and she said she would be by in about an hour. I made them do up the other load of laundry and told them they needed to get dressed.

Rayley was still running around singing about some lally callie girls and their beautiful. The boys were ready to stick a sock in her mouth and I was close behind them. I DONT have a clue what she is saying.

When Suzie got here the boys ran out QUICK. I told them I would wait on them to get any more laundry done.

Once they left I did get a little cleaning done, but not much, Bow kept waking up. THen BR woke up and somehow we decided to think about moving the furniture around.
HE got ready and went to work, and the kids got home a little while later. I told them I had a special project and needed their help. They came in and we got started. First we had to clean. and pick up everything, and find places for all kinds of junk.

There was NO way in Hell I was gona subject myself to moving furniture and all that with BR's help. NOT gona happen. I dont even put up the Christmas tree if he is home.

After about 45 minutes I fiqure out that doing it with kids was also not easy. They wanted to help, and would start something but would get distracted and not finish it.
Then I had to find some coax, I was moving the TV to the other side of the room and needed about 15 more feet. I looked for about 30 minutes till I found some. I started unhooking everything and got it all taken apart, then I checked the coax to make sure it was good. I wasnt gona wait till the last to do that. Sometimes I DO think ahead.

I had them still picking stuff up and I got the drill. I started to drill a hole in the floor for the coax to run through. You'da thought I was tearing down the house peice by peice. Rayley kept tellingme that daddy was gona be so mad at me. SHe was convinced I would get a whoopin, get grounded AND loose my movie privledges.

ANd the boys couldnt belive I would drill a hole in the floor. They wanted to do it so bad. THey kept begging to. Finaly I got it big enough and showed them how we were going to stick it through. But first I had to poke a hole through the insulation. I sent Brett under the house to find where I was poking the hanger and told him to rip a small hole in the plastic liner.

He wanted my assurance that he wouldnt get in trouble. I promised him he wouldnt and out he went. after about 15 minutes I crawled under there and did it myself.

We got that ran and I got the satalite box set back up. Then it was time to move the TV. Its a big screen, and a new one, but not a light weight one. WIth Bretts help ( not really ) I was able to get it across the floor and onto the stand. I ended up dragging it and him most of the way.

Then I started vacumming. And then after 5 minutes I had to take it apart to unclog it. I did this 3 times.
Once the HUGE mess was made, stuff all out of place and my nerves were frayed, the kids decided it wasnt as fun as it looked. Once this realization was made I couldnt get them to stay on task for anything in the world. I begged, I pleaded, I threatened, and I hollered.

And Bow Hollered. He would be happy for a few minutes then want to be held. UNLESS I turned on the vaccumm, he could be screaming his fool head off, tears streaming, and red all over, then you turn on that vacuum and BOOM, its a new baby. He stops crying, and starts staring. He is entranced with it. I might start using it as a distraction.

I also had to switch a phone line. I have 4 lines coming into the house, 3 are for the main number and 1 is for the puter. There is a main number line over where the TV used to be, but the couch is now. ANd the puter line is where the TV is now. So I was just going to switch those two out. I got Matt with me and we went outside so I could get it switched over. I sent him under the house to pull on the one that was closest to me. It was the one that I needed to make the puter line. He tugged on one. I started to unscrew it. Then he decided it was a differnt one. I told him to double check. He was sure. Then maybe he wasnt so sure.

I decided to go adn do it my own self.
Once I got down on my belly for the second time and inched my way under the house, I realized what was wrong.
I had forgotten that all the lines go into the house in the same place. I had laid the lines when it was still in two peices to avoid drilling holes in the floor. We couldnt fiqure out what went where.

So I started just unhooking lines. I sent Matt in the house to get me the cordless phone and to hook up the corded phone to the old home/new puter line.

I unhooked the first line and hooked it back. Nope. I wasnt able to get him to answer. And my phone went dead while I was trying. I had gotten the one with a dead battery. So I went back in and got another one. I tried the second line. actually, since I know my luck, I picked the second line to try. THen opted to go for the one that would have been third. that should make things go smoother.

I got them all hooked back up and tried to call. Phone was dead again. well this was the 2nd of the 3 phones. It kept searching, and wouldnt let me make the call. I went in and got the last of the cordless phones. TOld the kids to quit roughousing and told Matt to keep an eye on that phone. I would be calling it to test it out in just a minute.
Nope. another dead end. So that means the LAST one is the one that is going to work. I really thought I had gotten one over on old Murphy. But alas, the cadgey old snot is always one ahead of me.

I got it hooked up, Still had a dial tone on the house phone , and called the puter phone. Sure enough, it rang! Then Matt picked it up.
"uhhhhh.. Hello?" And I hear in the back ground. "dont answer that, its moms computer calling, you'll mess it up!"
I said "Matt"
"huh?"
"Matt is that you?"
"yeah, who's this?"
"its your mom"
"where you at?"

I just hung up. Bill Engvall would have a feild day at this house.

During all this Bow was not a happy camper, Rayley did try to keep him sorta entertained and he would laugh and smile at her till her lolly colly shoes song got on his nerves too. Then she would want to dust. So I would give her a rag and tell her to dust something.. That is NOT what she wanted to dust..

I got the couch moved, and BR's chair. All that was really left was just the trash that was from under the couch and stuff.

I called my mother in law over to see if she wanted a DVD holder I had. She came and got it and played with Bow for a few minutes. She liked the living room like this. Rayley got in her lap too, and started to tell her all about the freakin lololoy cally shoes. How pretty they were, and to please buy her some. the boys were at the end of their rope. I was close and noone could really understand what she was talking about. The boys tried to tell me, something about having to call to order them.

So I called Amanda and asked what the hell she had found this on and what was it!
She said she didnt know, it was channel 174 or 175, a commercial during cartoons, and Rayley had asked her for them too, and her Uncle Luke told her to buy them so she was gona check at walmart tomorrow. I said that BRett and Matt said it was a mail order thing. She said no, that was something else she had wanted before she saw the shoes.

Now we are on an all out search for these freaking shoes. I have watched the cartoon channels ALL night trying to see the commercial again.. Her daddy told me to wait till in the morning, turn it on cartoons and tell her to pause the TV when the commercial came on so I could get them for her. I told him I didnt want to watch cartoons all day. He didnt seem to care. Then he pointed out that if I didnt do this, she would continue to sing the song, ask for us to 'bry' her them with every breath and drive us all nuts.

I reckon I will be watching cartoons tomorrow.

We did get the living room done. I havent told BR yet. And the boys got 5 loads of laundry done. I only have about 4 more to go. I think.. Plus all their blankets and sheets and such.

Oh and BR's uniforms. I have to get those done first thing. since he is out. the living room is more open. Lots more room, BUT the way I moved the couch I am now on the left side. I am sitting on the left arm of it, my drink is on my left, the computer is more leftish and I cant get comfertable. Maybe I will get used to it. I hope.

I got all the kids bathed and in bed, or I thought I did. Till Rayley came in here all upset. Something about her bird dying.
Between the tears and incoherant speach I finally fiqured out she thought she had a bird that lived in her room and now it was gone. And we had to find it cause it was sick and had died in her room.