the head is connected to the shoulders, which are between the thighs.

Well I have exhausted all avenues of getting someone honest to return Matts bat. I knew it was stupid to try. I just have to wonder about the people that would see a BRIGHT orange expensive bat in their kids hands and not ask where it came from.

Oh well. Its his own fault I reckon. I cant fix it. And I have to tell BR. This morning I called the local radio station and put it on there. Matt made up flyers and put them at the ballpark. I even offered a reward. But I am sure that the name on the bat has been scratched off, and the kid has convinced mom and dad that it was given to them by someone on their team.

I think I am going to get some spray paint and paint all kinds of grafiti on Bretts bat. really make it look awful. Its an expensive bat too. (I am not talking a 300.00 bat for a 9 year old, but it is a 150.00 bat. in last years colors, so I got it for 70. and it was a present. so I dont feel like it was an absolute waste). Anyway. If I spray paint them and make them look like total crap, it will solve a few problems. No confusion with other kids having the same bat, and two, who would want to steal it? Plus if I did see someone with it I could identify it quickly. :)

I dont know how the moms that buy the 300.00 bats deal with it. I would have my hands on that thing at ALL times. I would be standing at the dugout when he left the plate to get it and not let him have it back till he was walking back out to hit again.

Anyway, on to a better subject. .........

I didnt get a phone call from any principals today.

yep thats about the best thing that happened.

Matt did ask me if I was going to go to his 'olympic games' tomorrow. I said yes, I just needed to know what time. "oh no!" he says.
"what?"
"I dont have the peice of paper that tells you"
"why not?"
"I walked into day care and gave it strait to Meme ( my mother in law) so I didnt loose it"
"well crap. Okay, I will call her"

So I did.
"hey Martha, Matt said that he gave you a ...."
"OH HELL!"
"yea, that peice of pap...."
"I forgot all about that!"
"...its okay, I just need to know the time off it. I dont need the...."
"I cant imagine what I did with it!"
"... oh... well did you read it?"
"no, he handed it to me, told me it was important and then I folded it and.... "
"you dont know where it is?"
"I cant imagine... let me call work and see if they can find it"
"okay."
"I'll call you right back."
so I waited.
She called back.
"its not there on the desk"
"did she look in the trash?"
"no, can you just call the school tommorow?"
"well.. I could. BUT if they start at 8 and some classes do, and thats the first time I will be able to call, I wont be able to get there till he's been outside for a while, doing his stuff"
"well she looked. I remmeber the paper, he handed it to me, told me it was important and I folded it up and now I dont know what I did with it."
"alright."
"why cant you just show up at 8 and then you will already be there?"
"cause there is a chance that his classes 2 hour slot is at noon. I dont want to sit there and stare at the inside of my truck for 4 hours trying to keep Bow happy"
"oh, well, I am sure it will be okay if you dont go"

NO. it wont be okay if I dont go. but I am glad that everyone else is taking it so well. This is why I wrote a note to Matts teacher and asked the EXACT time.
But at least I know he got his HIA syndrome honest.

When we got to the ballpark I told Matt to take his flyers to the concession stand at the other end of the complex, and come RIGHT back. and handed him his walkie talkie. Off he went. 20 minutes later I called him.
5 minutes later I called again.
and then again.
Finally I hear a womans voice say "he left his walkie talkie at the concession stand." aha! HIA strikes again.
I waited another 10 mintues, then decided that since the other team was up to bat I had a chance to go and get Matt then get back before Brett batted. he was up 2nd when they left the field.

I gathered up Bow, walked to the truck, drove around towards Matts field and started looking. Matt came running up to the truck, When I asked what he was doing he told me that he had been playing with a friend.
That was NOT part of my instructions. Even if there was a slight communication problem, you can NOT get "play with friend" out of "go put up one flyer at that concession stand, and COME RIGHT BACK, here is your walkie talkie, dont loose it. "

I asked him where his walkie talkie was. He just looked at me. Good thing his head is attached.

I asked him where the other flyer was. He got a dumbfounded look. I told him that he brought 2 flyers, one for each concession stand. He said he hung it up on the back of the concession stand. and one on the front.

I told him to go and get the 2nd flyer, the walkie talkie and get his butt back to Bretts field NOW.

I drove back. He beat me there with his flyer. I asked him where his walkie talkie was. He told me it was in the back seat. I told him NO, I had handed it to him BEFORE he left the first time. He just looked at me with that blank deer in a headlights look. I promise this kid would loose his head if it wasnt attached. Honest.

I told him he had 3 minutes to get BACK to the other side, get the walkie talkie and get his butt back to Bretts field.

I finaly got Bow out again. Just in time to see Brett get a strike.
He ended up striking out. which is good, cause he went down swinging.

Matt showed back up. He had his flyer. I told him to go and put it at the concession stand and get back over here to me.

He went. with out the walkie talkie. He had set it down beside me.

He did show back up quickly. To ask for money. I dont buy from the concession stand. For one, its too expensive. For two, you could feed these kids mud if you sold it to them from a concession stand and they would like it.

I made him sit beside me for the rest of the game. Brett walked his next at bat. and got a stand up double. If walks counted in your batting average he would really be a jam up player. He stole 3rd on the next wild pitch and came on home. I guess this is good. Since he bats at the bottom of the lineup he takes his scores where he can. Unless they get walked most times they dont get on base. (neither does he) So he just steals his way around. Maybe its his forte. or would be if he was faster than a snail on salt.

When it was over I went to fetch Brett and his crap. Matt went to the bathroom. 10 minutes later we started towards the truck. Brett wanted to go find Matt. I told him no. So we started towards the truck, from 150 feet away I could see the back door open and told Brett that he was already there. Then we see Matt off to our right. I asked him what the hell he thought he was doing. The truck door was open. He said "I know, I opened it"
I told him that was NOT the point. He shouldnt LEAVE it open. EVER.
And while I am letting the kids know they dont have the sense God gave a goat
I hear laughter. Its a guy I have known for 20 years. Matter of fact he was a teacher of mine in HS. And I have gotten to know him in the last few years through the schools and the PTA and the store I used to work at. One of his kids is a year or so older than Brett. I asked if he wanted a few more and told him that I would sell him mine. He declined.
But did tell me that he was impressed. I asked of what.
"you havent killed them yet."
That is true.

I do wish sometimes that there was a nice remote training device that I could attach to them though. For those times when you cant reach out and pop them up side the head. Just push a little button and it gives them a little zap. Nothing to hurt them. or not badly. Just to get their attention. It wouldnt be cruel. it would actually be nicer than I am once I finally get close enough to them to get a hold.

I am not talking stun gun here. more like 9 volt battery to the tounge.

We did have to go to walmart. I needed caffine. and shake and bake. I found 93/7 hamburger meat for 2.00 a pound. that was a great find. Usually its 3.46.

When we got home I didnt even have to send them to bed. I was unloading the groceries ( all I needed was Dr pepper and shake and bake and dog food, how did I manage to get 114.00 worth of food?) they disapeared. They were in the bed. Nice as that was, I didnt appriciate having to unload it all by myself. ANd neither did Bow. He started throwing a fit. So a ticked off kid came out and said "I guess since he is crying so loud I will hold him while you finish that."

So nice of him. so VERY nice.

Then Matt, the one who cant remember to zip his pants on an hourly basis, says to Brett. "we forgot to make our lunches. You can go and make yours, I'll hold Bow then we can switch" Cause for some reason he has also remembered that I cant allow both boys in the kitchen at the same time. Something will get broken. usually something of mine.

Brett says "shhhhhh, if you dont tell her she will forget and maybe let us get a hot lunch tomorrow."

Matt told him "you know she wont. She says its too expensive"
and Brett said "well maybe she will forget alltogether and we just charge the hotlunch."
"okay, maybe so."


I got the last of the groceries in and the cold stuff put up and was walking back in the living room about 5 minutes later. I thanked them for holding Bow and told them it was time to go on to bed, they had to get up a little early to get their lunches made in the morning.


In their mumbles and gripes I head "See STUPID! you should have went and made yours when I said! Now we have to get up early! I hate you!"

"oh shut up! at least I tried."

I just wish they would put half the effort into doing things right the first time that they do trying to get out of doing things at all.