Turkey, Football and Kids. oh... and Family

"Anticipation of Death is worse than Death itself"

This is written on the wall at the Death Chamber at Huntsville.

We shall see how this applies to my day.

I am going to do this blog a little differnt. I am splitting it up. Writing some now, and the rest when I get home.

My day started at 4:30.
The MO-RONIC dog was whining to get out. So up I got and got let her out.

I decided to go ahead and put the ham in. my mothers oven isnt real good, but my main reason for volunteering my own oven for the ham is simple. I wanted lunch ready by 1. I have a full day planned. and it revoloves around football.

My grandfather and I talked about it last night. He was thrilled his day will work perfectly for it. Mine wont.. But THANK GOD for my DVR. and plus, I can now say "I need to go home, the game is on... nono.. I would hate to ask you to turn off your lifetime movie "how my family hates me and why I am derpressed" just so I can see something that I look forward to 8 months out of the year...

ANyway, I got the ham going and headed back to bed. Then at 5:30 the alarm went off telling me to get up and put the kids on the bus. So I climbed over BR and turned it off. This is NOT an easy task. Anytime I sleep with BR its a night of me being sandwiched between 2 furneses. That both feel the middle of the bed is theres. And BR is like a mountain, so its not just leaning over him to hit the button, you need a raple, a few carabieners, and possibly a rescue helicopter. PLUS, its like being on an avalance prone mountain. If you move wrong you take the chance on waking up the imbonabale (yes I know thats mispelled) snowman. or as the family likes to call him : BOW. Once you wake him up, sleep as you know it is over.

So, I got that done. and promptly fell back asleep. Then, at 6:23 the OTHER alarm clock, the one in the living room where I usually sleep, finally had penetrated through my sleep fogged brain. and do you know what the first thing I thought of was? There was no brown sugar on the ham...

I didnt dress the ham. I just picked it up, foil wrapped and in its pan. But as I was trying to put a 13 pound ham in the oven this morning with out moving the racks down I tore the foil. But in my sleep walking state it didnt actually dawn on me.

So, I got up, turned off that alarm, and went back to bed. I slid back in the covers, not even waking BR. Bow had scrunched over to him, so I had the entire other side of the bed to myself. I laid down. closed my eyes and was JUST about asleep. when I had this awful urge. There was NO stopping it. and usually I can. I am famous for NOT sneezing. I just make a little jerk with my body and squeak a little. ( I think it is in defience to my grandfathers sneezes, of which buildings have been brought down by... ) but not this time. This was going to be a humdinger.

And I tried. I really did. so I sneezed. and then I looked quickly to Bow. he moved a little sighed and scrunched up his sweet little mouth, then settled into his daddys chest and went back to sleep.
BUT when you have had 4 kids there are somethings that just dont work like they should. and although each and every time my feet had hit the floor this morning I had made a visit to the potty (both on the way OUT of the room, and again before getting back into bed.. ) I had to go. okay, so I had to sneak BACK out of bed. no big deal. I did.
Then back INTO bed. so far so good.

BUT I had woken up Duke. who got up to make sure I hadnt droped food at some point. well instead he found the cat. So, he had to chase her. and they dont do this quietly.

This woke up Bow.

so, the day had started. I got up and went into the kitchen. BR followed. And sure enough there was NO brown sugar on the ham. Pinapples and cherries, but no sugar.

and the pineapples were few and far between. Cherries too. THis sent us into a search for pineapples. we tore the kitchen apart. and aside from opening the 8 cans of fruit cocktail and putting pinapple chunks all over it, there was nothing we could do.

So we flipped the ham. since it was sitting on its side, and the cut portion was not facing down, and moved the few pineapples and cherries. Then I slathered brown sugar all over it and slapped it back in the oven.

then BR made breakfast. bacon and eggs. it was pretty good. Then he washed the pan. and the pans that I hadnt washed yesterday.

Once we were done we came into the living room and made sure the TV was set for the games. Then proceeded to watch some things we had recorded. well, truthfully, I tried to watch the parade. But BR hates the parade. and truthfully, I hate all the commentary of it. show me the dang floats and shut up!

Then he turned it on a recorded bob and tom. They are on wgn or some such. But Tim Wilson was on there. and the first song he sang had me in tears. I kid you not. BR and I were both alternating between laughing, crying and saying "ohhhh thats US!"

It was mobile home schoolin, or some such. I have tried all day to get it on the computer. but I cant. This is my new theme song. You have GOT to hear it. I will try to find it.

If I cant find it (and chances are on this old dial up I wont), I will rewatch it and type up the lyrics on here.

Between this and Redneck Woman by Gretchen Wilson, These are the songs you need to listen to if you want songs that represent me. They will give you a glimpse into my life.


So, now I am sitting here, and its 11:30am. We are watching Dirty Jobs, and I look over at BR "This sure has been a nice day, I hate to ruin it with all this family crap"
"eeeeehhhhh, not really"
"what cha mean?"
"Its kinda like the saying they have on the wall of the death chamber in Huntsville "The anticipation of death is worse than death itsself" "
"aaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh" I said with that dreaded feeling in the pit of my stomache.

So here I sit, supposed to be at my moms, and I am still in my jammies. But its so peaceful. Bow has slept most of the morning, and its been quiet.



Its now 7pm. I went and had lunch. it wasnt bad. And the kids were good. They went outside and played as soon as we finished eating and sat down.
I learned something very detremental to my being while I was there. It is impossible for BR and I to function in our lives with out a DVR. Redneck weddings was on. and something would catch our eye, or we wouldnt hear something, and we would both grab for the remote and damn the luck, she doesnt have a DVR. I kid you not. There was no rewinding, no recording, no nothing... I couldnt live like that. It shouldnt be asked of anyone TO live like that. Especially not with 4 kids. I never go through a show with out my kids arguing, fighting, needing a drink, to eat or just wanting to tell me they have to pee.

There was an awkward moment when we first got there. My mom picked up the remote to turn off the cartoons and put it on the ball game. Rayley started to whine. Mom told her "well you know how your mom and dad are about football." Brett said "yep, they are rabid about it, but mostly mom.. Dad isnt as bad"
I heard all of this and said "you dont have to change it, my game doesnt come on till 3. "
"there is a game on now."
"not till 3 for me"
"NFL! it said NFL on the guide. just cause I dont watch it doesnt mean I dont know what it is!"
"but its NOT either of my teams"
"well its ON right now, but just dont watch it smartass"
So, BR cleared it up. "The cowboys are not playing, its someone else, she doesnt watch anyone else"
"oh, I thought they were all the same"


So, lunch was good. and then we left, came home, dropped off the food and got back in the truck. When I was getting out I thought I smelled cat poo. I fiqured it was cause BR had just said that he had been smelling cat poo the entire time we were in her living room, but didnt think she had a cat inside. I said she didnt. Thn Brett is climbing over Rayley to get back in, and says "Rayley stinks", So, BR said "well she was in my lap most of the time I was there"

Then I really smelled it. I looked at my feet, then looked at Matts. we talked about it, and I went and got Rayley some new clothes. Maybe she had gotten in some outside.

So we get almost to the end of the driveway and Brett says "ohhh that makes sense"
and the WHOLE truck starts to smell like it.
It was on HIS shoes. and the fool is waving it around behind mine and Matts heads. We made him take them off and throw them in the back.
BR asked him where his shoes had been while we were at mothers. He said, "between the chair you were sitting in in the living room and the door" thats about a 2 foot space...

So we got to Marthas and BR's sister, her husband and all her kids were there. They are all grown, the youngest is 15. And his youngest brother and his wife - Amanda came over later, Luke worked all day so he wasnt there. We visited for a while, enjoying the conversations while the kids tormented each other outside. My kids LOVE to see Jamie and Garret. Kristian the oldest just wanted to play with Bow. which was fine with me! A cousin and her teenage daughter (who also LOVES bow and Rayley ) came over too.

One time Rayley came running in and jumped in her Aunt Amandas lap and was all upset. She said "The girls and Garrett are sitting on the lid of the trashcan and they put Matt in there and wont let him out!"
We all agree'd that was fine. Just to not let him stay in there too long, as he might fall asleep.

They were also putting them in the trash cans, putting the lids on and rolling them around the yard. Sounds fun to me.

I talked to Lisa and Jamie about Bretts birthday cake. I want to start making them. Jamie and Lisa do adorable cakes and stuff all the time, plus, I have a friend who is a GENIUS on making cakes. and although I will never be as good as her, she has inspired me. I keep begging her to do it profesionally. She is an internet friend though, and I cant afford to fly her to Texas for a 10 year olds party...

I want to do a baseball diamond. I was thinking about the hamburger. Then a pirate ship. But, decided the diamond might be easier. :)

Unless he ticks me off between now and then. Then I will do a football field. make it a cake for ME :)

Lisa asked me when I was going to put up my tree. She couldnt belive I already didnt have it up. Used to it was up well before Thanksgiving. I told her as soon as I got rid of this dang bunny I would. I am so tired of it being in my living room. I dont know what I am going to do with it. I dont even know if it could live in the wild.. But its not a friendly bunny. It doesnt want to be held, or loved. And honestly, I didnt know a rabbit ate so much or their cages had to be cleaned so dang much. I mean ALOT. But I have to put up the tree so she can take our CHristmas Pictures.

Finally around 6:45 BR came in and said he needed to go to work and to bring him home. He said I could go back over. I told him that was okay. We would go on home. Bow was becoming way too much to handle. He was about to drive me nuts. He has been off his game all day. I am not sure he isnt teething or something. Nothing I could do has made him happy and he has been awful clingy! :(

We went out on the porch and I told the kids to load up. Martha said "I want them to stay here tonight"
So, I hauled butt to the truck, didnt even stop long enough to say goodbye, just hollered over my shoulder "BYE! Love you!" and got in.

I have GOT to clean my house. its a disaster. I mean LITERLY. PLUS, I want to watch my games. And Bow needs some quiet to sleep.

When we got home it was dark, but I could tell my screen door was open slightly. So I came on up on the porch and sure enough, there was a black trash bag stuck in the screen. I fiqured it was more greens from Uncle Geralds garden. But no. it was clothes. kids clothes.

I brought it in and looked. There was no note. So I checked the caller ID. no one had called.

I have NO clue where they came from, or who gave them to me. I am thrilled, I havent looked through them all yet, but there seems to be some nice clothes in there. I just cant imagine where they came from.

I called Martha, to make sure that she really wanted the kids. She said yes and I told her that I hadnt gotten a peice of chocolate pie. My brother in law, Lisa's Husband Gavin makes a wonderful Chocolate pie. but I hadnt gotten a peice, nor had I gotten any dressing. So I told her NOT to eat it all. She asked me how long I would be awake. I told her hours so she is going to bring me a peice and my dressing later.
I told her about the clothes fairy. She had no clue either. It had happened between 3:30 and 6:30.

I am used to friends or family giving me clothes their kids outgrow and I do the same. But seldom do I just come home to a bag dropped off. and since it has no note, I am starting to get a complex. Does someone want my kids to start dressing better? Feel that we are in need of clothing but too proud to ask? or is there a complete stranger out there doing clothes drive bys, and saw the bikes in the yard and the basketball goal and decided I had a few kids that might need them?


All in all, this hasnt been a bad day. It could have been worse. But its been a tiring day. and I STILL dont have that song.. I WANT that song by Tim Wilson.

Now, I have a football game to watch, 2 actually. After I watch the 'boys I have a Texas-Texas A&M game that I also have to watch. You gotta LOVE the DVR!

I had told Lisa about being at moms today, and she felt the same way. She wont watch anything with out it being recorded either. you have to be able to fast forward through commercials! I cant watch something now with out that luxery.

The birds, the bee's and the fires that make them grow

Yesterday I did something I VERY rarely do. I took a shower while all my kids were awake. And noone else was home.

There are many reasons I dont take showers when they are home and will be alone. The least of which is they are equal opportunity destroyers. basicly any opportunity is equally fun and challenging. But I was desperate. Playing baseball was hard work.

I was in the shower for 3 minutes and 27 seconds before Brett came running in.
MOM, MOM, Tony Romo! Here's TOny ROMO!!
Where is HERE?? I mean in the house? on TV? the driveway? I told him it was okay, just not to touch the TV and I would rewind. NO, on a poster he had gotten out of the bag of lunch chips I had bought.
he wanted to show me the poster.
I pulled open the door and told him it was neat.
He told me he would hang it up in the living room for me. I told him it was okay, he could put it in his room.
This seemed confusing to him and he wanted to discuss why. While my hair is dripping shampoo in my eyes, he wants to know why...

I told him it didnt match my decor. So he wanted to put it up in my room. Beside my blue and white Pom Poms from the only Dallas game I have ever been to, and the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader Calender that is a year old, but BR keeps changing the month on like its this years. I told him that since there were other quarterbacks on it I thought it would taint my 'Cowboys' shrine.
OH, okay. Can he put it in his room then?
Yes, please.

so I rinsed my hair and started to lather up my legs. I dont know WHY I thought I would have enough time to shave. Usually I am lucky to get through the hair washing before they start to throw themselves up against the walls in an attempt to check the load bearing weight of the sheetrock and 1X3's that make this trailer a home.
RIght about the time I poised the very dull, and possibly rusty triple blade against that little weird bone on my ankle the door bursts open again.
"MOM, MOM!!"
"WHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTT?"
"There was TRADIN cards in there too!!"
"Really ? Cool, Give one to your brother and sister, I'll be out in a minute."
"Do you know who they are? None of them are cowboys..."
"then no, I probably dont know them"
"Do you want them? or can we have them?"
"y'all take these, I'll get the next ones."
"Thanks mom, your the best!"

Since by now I have decided that shaving is not a good idea I opt to just lather up and get out.
"MOM!! MOM!!"
"yes Rayley"
"Brett wont let me have the card with the guy wearing purple"
"But mom, he's a nose tackle, thats gota be cool, and hard. How do you get ahold of their noses with that helmet on?"
"But I dont like Green!"
"But he is just a safety, thats gota be a boring job, mom says its a contract sport and there is nothing safe about it!"
and Matt wants to know if he gets 4 quarterbacks does he get a dollar.
I told him no. just alot of confusion.

so like all those fancy cereals, these packs of chips are OFF my grocery list until they STOP putting goodies in the bag.

Today was a town day, but just for milk (3 gallons), bread (3 loaves) and some hamburger meat. I only took Bow and it only took me about an hour to get what I needed. I ended up spending a little less than 100.00 too. I got back 4 bucks in change! :) I will admit, I spent a good 20 minutes looking at toys for Bow. He is at the age to start enjoying them. I want to get him one of those floor mat things with the toys that hang down. I just couldnt decide which one to get him. By the time I decide he will have outgrown this stage.
Oh and I got Princess GimeGime some boots. Its her 'prize' for sleeping in her bed for a week. (its been two, but she has no sense of time) They are kinda cute, in a weird ugg knock off sort of way. They are brown with floof coming out the top, and fake laces, that tie up with a bow and 2 fluffy balls on the ends of the strings.
When she tried them on I said "look at the cute balls" and she informed me ... never mind we wont go into this conversation...


I also had to do a mystery shop at another store and was glad that Bow was in such high spirits. He was just a doll all day. smiling and flirting with everyone that walked by.

As I was getting ready to go to town BR was getting ready to go to work. He came to kiss me goodbye and said "you stink"
Gee thanks. I love you too.
"no seriously, something in your make up stinks"
I start searching and smelling everything, I dont want to put outdated stuff on my face. The last thing I need is a huge red rash across my face. I can just imagine the stares that would grant me. since I couldnt imagine the blush or eyeshadow going bad I had to guess it was the mascara or base.
I asked him what it smelled like, I was imagining rotten eggs or something. He said "sawdust"
This is the same guy that wont kiss me if I have on lipstick cause he swears it has guano in it, but in all honestly I would have thought sawdust would be kinda appealing...

Since I looked perplexed he said "I bet its that creamy goop you put on before the colored crap"
Creamy goop?? colored crap? ahhhhh the lotion? I am guessing that would make the base the 'colored crap'.
But it prevents wrinkles. And the base hides them. I cant forgo either one!
He doesnt see the logic in this. To him I would MAKE more wrinkles by using it and twisting up my nose due to the smell.

I couldnt take the time to argue with him, I had managed to put BOTH contacts in ONE eye. and couldnt get them out. Plus I had an eyelash in there. It felt like I had a 2X4 and an entire window pane in one eye. Since I am blind as a bat, I couldnt see what I was doing and gouging at my eye was NOT helping. The contacts had glued themselves together. Of course I had forgotten to put in the contacts until AFTER I put on my make up, so I had mascara running down to my chin. I would buy waterproof mascara, but last time I did this I woke up and couldnt open my eyes.

WHen I got back home with all 4 kids they were burning off the national forest that borders our place. On one side you can chunk a rock and hit the forest so it looks pretty close. The kids were freaked out. They were worried it would spread to the house and burn it down. I had to promise them that I would stay up all night and make sure we were safe.
We couldnt open the doors or the windows due to the smoke and the kids couldnt understand why there were no fire trucks to keep it in check. They had made a fire lane and I wasnt worried, but I do understand their fear. Heck the first year they came home and it was stil smoldering I thought they were never going to stop crying. it wasnt until we drove all the way up the driveway and they saw the house was still there that they calmed down. Rayley was scared all the deer would never come back. To her this meant she would NEVER get to hunt like her brothers. The boys were afraid they would burn the oat patch and the deer would starve. And then they decided that the squirrels would NOT be able to live in charred trees and thier lives were ruined. No more hunting. EVER. I convinced them this was the best thing for the wildlife and it happens EVERY YEAR.

My house smells like smoke, and you cant see the driveway, but they did calm down.

OH and this is the note I got in email from Bretts teacher.

Well I believe he has driven me crazy today. He had to stay in to clean out his desk and it took 45 minutes. He has been acting silly most of the afternoon and not getting things completed unless I stayed on him. Hopefully tomorrow will be better.

THis woman has been teaching over 20 years. It took MY kid less than 7 months to drive her crazy. I dont know if this is a record or an omen.
Of course after the room cleaning and house cleaning that was done this weekend I can tell her, 45 minutes to clean out a desk was pretty damn quick. I watched him have to make a bed. This took a good 30 minutes. And there was just 4 items. 2 sheets (that I thought would be self explanitory), a pillow and a blanket.
Matt actually put the flat sheet on, and then cinched it up with the fitted sheet over it. And was appalled when I told him this is NOT how its done.
They have been making their own beds for a while now. But it still is confusing.



After I had sent them off to bed Matt comes running back in.
"We learned about pollumnation today."
"you learned about WHAT? ohhh pollination, thats pretty neat isnt it?"
" NO pollumnation."
"Do you mean where Bee's and Butterflies carry pollen to flowers and make them grow?"
"NNNOOOOOO pollumnation"
"what the hell is pollumnation?"
"Those little particles that polumnate the air, and can kill you"
"OHHHH you mean Pollution?"
"well, if thats how you want to say it"

I am glad my dear Hoover is learning, but I am thinking he doesnt LISTEN completely to every word... This is how world wars are started..

Oh and on a personal note. Is it just my TV, or does Cindy McCain look like she has no iris'? When she stands behind ole John all you can see is slits with white. its really scary looking. Almost like she is possesed. Of course after years of listening to him I would have a permanent blank stare too I am sure.

I reckon Mondays aint all bad

Well, I thought the game was great! And I knew the Giants would pull it off. Like I said, they beat the best team already, this should have been a cakewalk. Of course since we had it paused we were a little behind. Right before the first quarter was over my MIL called, seemed my father in law had joined a football pot and they couldnt read it. So she starts telling me his numbers and asking if he won the 500.00 for that quarter since the score was 3 and 0.

Well I guess they held them. I explained it to her and yes he had won.

Well I was about 6 minutes into the 2nd quarter and she called back, wanting to know what 300.00 forward and 200.00 backward meant. I told her and off the phone we got. Then she called back to ask if he was still winning, I said I didnt know, the quarter wasnt over. She said well, say the score is 7 to 3 and he had a 7. Now I am really lost. I thought he had a 0 and a 3. She said he also has a 4. And she threw in a 6. Now remember I am blonde, but I have done a football pot or two. I was confused as hell. Come to find out he bought 2 slots. Hmmmm.. its coming together. That doesnt explain why he has 5 numbers... but we are getting close. I told her to go to his name, draw a line from his name to the number on the side, never leaving that line, then the number on the bottom. what were those numbers. she says, 7, 3, 4, 0.

alright, just pick ONE square with his name, draw that line. BOTH numbers that intersect are the ones she needs for each quarter.

but that other name was just drawing her like a moth to a flame.

I got enough out of her to decide he had won the 2nd quarter, but not the first. the 0 was pulled out of thin air.

come to find out, she was confused as to why the numbers were not in chronological order, and thought he got 2 name spots cause there was 2 teams.

I didnt even try to explain that this is an impossibility. It wasnt worth it. I'd rather try to teach an aggie to make ice. Luckily, my sister in law had seen a pot before and was able to decifer the scribilings. She called back (again before I was to the end of the 3rd) to tell me I was right, and he had won 2 quarters!

I think next year I am gona take BR's advise and let the machine get it. :) I will have a special 'football' message.

So far I had known the end score for each quarter BEFORE I got to watch it.

The rest of the game was uneventful, phonewise. till it was 35 seconds to go and the patriots had the ball back, the phone rang! I didnt say Hello, I answerd by saying "There's 35 seconds left, please dont tell me! I had the game paused!" Since it was my BIL I handed it over to BR and waited for him to get done. I just knew it was ruined. But no, it wasnt, BR explained to him that we were behind and he didn't say a word.

The kids got off to school fairly easy this morning, I didnt want to get up, but they wern't total brats.

Although Rayley, Bow and BR were all still sleepin like big ole' fat huntin dogs I stayed awake. We had to go and get hay today so I played on the computer till it was time to get going. It was kinda nice, the quiet, the peace. Well except for that dingo lookin idiot I dragged home. She kept popping her head up in the window wanting in. I wouldnt care, but she is gona mess up my screen.

That and the cat that was missing for 3 days. The swelling went down, but now she is wanting to love. nothing like catbut in your face first thing in the morning!

Rayley wanted to stay at moms today, so BR and Bow and I had a nice trip to get the hay and back. We even went by the feedstore and visited for a little while. BR bought me a present too. Its a sign that says "raisin kids is like being pecked to death by chickens" OH how right that sign is. I thought the two previous signs I had were the most fitting, one says "I only have a kitchen 'cause it came with the house" and the other says " Unless your God or George Strait, wipe your feet" Upon seeing this one BR called me at work and said "I promise you if George Strait comes to the house that SOB better wipe his boots"

I am not real sure why he would have to, since noone else does.. But the odds are slim to none of him comin' over, I reckon we wont find out.

He got one for the kids room too. "bunkhouse rules, No swearin', No spittin', No fartin' "

Upon seeing it Matt said "Thank you for that!"

Anyway, this sign is my new mantra. I want a T-shirt that says it! Although I do think its a slight exageration. I've had chickens. They are MUCH nicer than kids. Granted, both eat bugs, scratch in the dirt and make weird noises at the most aggervating times, but chickens dont poop as much.

The rest of the day has been quite uneventful, we dropped off the hay, put out the feed, and came home in time for the kids to get in.

They have been outside with their daddy all evening and right now they are grilling supper. All I had to do was bake some taters.

Oh and my other sister in law came by, she is a great photographer and took some Christmas pics of the kids. Here is one.