The birds, the bee's and the fires that make them grow

Yesterday I did something I VERY rarely do. I took a shower while all my kids were awake. And noone else was home.

There are many reasons I dont take showers when they are home and will be alone. The least of which is they are equal opportunity destroyers. basicly any opportunity is equally fun and challenging. But I was desperate. Playing baseball was hard work.

I was in the shower for 3 minutes and 27 seconds before Brett came running in.
MOM, MOM, Tony Romo! Here's TOny ROMO!!
Where is HERE?? I mean in the house? on TV? the driveway? I told him it was okay, just not to touch the TV and I would rewind. NO, on a poster he had gotten out of the bag of lunch chips I had bought.
he wanted to show me the poster.
I pulled open the door and told him it was neat.
He told me he would hang it up in the living room for me. I told him it was okay, he could put it in his room.
This seemed confusing to him and he wanted to discuss why. While my hair is dripping shampoo in my eyes, he wants to know why...

I told him it didnt match my decor. So he wanted to put it up in my room. Beside my blue and white Pom Poms from the only Dallas game I have ever been to, and the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader Calender that is a year old, but BR keeps changing the month on like its this years. I told him that since there were other quarterbacks on it I thought it would taint my 'Cowboys' shrine.
OH, okay. Can he put it in his room then?
Yes, please.

so I rinsed my hair and started to lather up my legs. I dont know WHY I thought I would have enough time to shave. Usually I am lucky to get through the hair washing before they start to throw themselves up against the walls in an attempt to check the load bearing weight of the sheetrock and 1X3's that make this trailer a home.
RIght about the time I poised the very dull, and possibly rusty triple blade against that little weird bone on my ankle the door bursts open again.
"MOM, MOM!!"
"WHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTT?"
"There was TRADIN cards in there too!!"
"Really ? Cool, Give one to your brother and sister, I'll be out in a minute."
"Do you know who they are? None of them are cowboys..."
"then no, I probably dont know them"
"Do you want them? or can we have them?"
"y'all take these, I'll get the next ones."
"Thanks mom, your the best!"

Since by now I have decided that shaving is not a good idea I opt to just lather up and get out.
"MOM!! MOM!!"
"yes Rayley"
"Brett wont let me have the card with the guy wearing purple"
"But mom, he's a nose tackle, thats gota be cool, and hard. How do you get ahold of their noses with that helmet on?"
"But I dont like Green!"
"But he is just a safety, thats gota be a boring job, mom says its a contract sport and there is nothing safe about it!"
and Matt wants to know if he gets 4 quarterbacks does he get a dollar.
I told him no. just alot of confusion.

so like all those fancy cereals, these packs of chips are OFF my grocery list until they STOP putting goodies in the bag.

Today was a town day, but just for milk (3 gallons), bread (3 loaves) and some hamburger meat. I only took Bow and it only took me about an hour to get what I needed. I ended up spending a little less than 100.00 too. I got back 4 bucks in change! :) I will admit, I spent a good 20 minutes looking at toys for Bow. He is at the age to start enjoying them. I want to get him one of those floor mat things with the toys that hang down. I just couldnt decide which one to get him. By the time I decide he will have outgrown this stage.
Oh and I got Princess GimeGime some boots. Its her 'prize' for sleeping in her bed for a week. (its been two, but she has no sense of time) They are kinda cute, in a weird ugg knock off sort of way. They are brown with floof coming out the top, and fake laces, that tie up with a bow and 2 fluffy balls on the ends of the strings.
When she tried them on I said "look at the cute balls" and she informed me ... never mind we wont go into this conversation...


I also had to do a mystery shop at another store and was glad that Bow was in such high spirits. He was just a doll all day. smiling and flirting with everyone that walked by.

As I was getting ready to go to town BR was getting ready to go to work. He came to kiss me goodbye and said "you stink"
Gee thanks. I love you too.
"no seriously, something in your make up stinks"
I start searching and smelling everything, I dont want to put outdated stuff on my face. The last thing I need is a huge red rash across my face. I can just imagine the stares that would grant me. since I couldnt imagine the blush or eyeshadow going bad I had to guess it was the mascara or base.
I asked him what it smelled like, I was imagining rotten eggs or something. He said "sawdust"
This is the same guy that wont kiss me if I have on lipstick cause he swears it has guano in it, but in all honestly I would have thought sawdust would be kinda appealing...

Since I looked perplexed he said "I bet its that creamy goop you put on before the colored crap"
Creamy goop?? colored crap? ahhhhh the lotion? I am guessing that would make the base the 'colored crap'.
But it prevents wrinkles. And the base hides them. I cant forgo either one!
He doesnt see the logic in this. To him I would MAKE more wrinkles by using it and twisting up my nose due to the smell.

I couldnt take the time to argue with him, I had managed to put BOTH contacts in ONE eye. and couldnt get them out. Plus I had an eyelash in there. It felt like I had a 2X4 and an entire window pane in one eye. Since I am blind as a bat, I couldnt see what I was doing and gouging at my eye was NOT helping. The contacts had glued themselves together. Of course I had forgotten to put in the contacts until AFTER I put on my make up, so I had mascara running down to my chin. I would buy waterproof mascara, but last time I did this I woke up and couldnt open my eyes.

WHen I got back home with all 4 kids they were burning off the national forest that borders our place. On one side you can chunk a rock and hit the forest so it looks pretty close. The kids were freaked out. They were worried it would spread to the house and burn it down. I had to promise them that I would stay up all night and make sure we were safe.
We couldnt open the doors or the windows due to the smoke and the kids couldnt understand why there were no fire trucks to keep it in check. They had made a fire lane and I wasnt worried, but I do understand their fear. Heck the first year they came home and it was stil smoldering I thought they were never going to stop crying. it wasnt until we drove all the way up the driveway and they saw the house was still there that they calmed down. Rayley was scared all the deer would never come back. To her this meant she would NEVER get to hunt like her brothers. The boys were afraid they would burn the oat patch and the deer would starve. And then they decided that the squirrels would NOT be able to live in charred trees and thier lives were ruined. No more hunting. EVER. I convinced them this was the best thing for the wildlife and it happens EVERY YEAR.

My house smells like smoke, and you cant see the driveway, but they did calm down.

OH and this is the note I got in email from Bretts teacher.

Well I believe he has driven me crazy today. He had to stay in to clean out his desk and it took 45 minutes. He has been acting silly most of the afternoon and not getting things completed unless I stayed on him. Hopefully tomorrow will be better.

THis woman has been teaching over 20 years. It took MY kid less than 7 months to drive her crazy. I dont know if this is a record or an omen.
Of course after the room cleaning and house cleaning that was done this weekend I can tell her, 45 minutes to clean out a desk was pretty damn quick. I watched him have to make a bed. This took a good 30 minutes. And there was just 4 items. 2 sheets (that I thought would be self explanitory), a pillow and a blanket.
Matt actually put the flat sheet on, and then cinched it up with the fitted sheet over it. And was appalled when I told him this is NOT how its done.
They have been making their own beds for a while now. But it still is confusing.



After I had sent them off to bed Matt comes running back in.
"We learned about pollumnation today."
"you learned about WHAT? ohhh pollination, thats pretty neat isnt it?"
" NO pollumnation."
"Do you mean where Bee's and Butterflies carry pollen to flowers and make them grow?"
"NNNOOOOOO pollumnation"
"what the hell is pollumnation?"
"Those little particles that polumnate the air, and can kill you"
"OHHHH you mean Pollution?"
"well, if thats how you want to say it"

I am glad my dear Hoover is learning, but I am thinking he doesnt LISTEN completely to every word... This is how world wars are started..

Oh and on a personal note. Is it just my TV, or does Cindy McCain look like she has no iris'? When she stands behind ole John all you can see is slits with white. its really scary looking. Almost like she is possesed. Of course after years of listening to him I would have a permanent blank stare too I am sure.