TO tell or not to tell.... Yep, I'm tellin...

I have debated all day whether to write about this or not.

Then it dawned on me. One day my sons future wife, or girlfriend, or that REALLY fine girl that sits across from him in English class (if he makes it that far, I kinda hope they still have that 'work all day and get credit' class) will read this and it will cause him as much embarressment as he has caused me.

I got a call today from the principal. I really HATE caller ID. I mean yes you can screen your calls, but when the school shows up its really a tug of war to answer the phone. I really DONT want to know what they have done now.

It seems Matt went into the bathroom and pee'd on the floor. The principal put him on the phone. In between tears and sniffing and sniviling I got

"watching boys playing"
"missed a little"

well.... This is maybe what he was saying, but I heard
"we were in there goofing off, they were acting ignorant and I decided to join in with the only weapon I had..."

I asked him why== he didnt mean to.

I talked to the principal again. I told him that in our house we ARE NOT in the habit of pee'in on the floor. I can just imagine what this man see's when he looks at my kid.
A house where they just get to stand up while watching TV and relive themselves. I will admit, I do tell them to go outside, but thats to save water.. its better for the enviroment... right??

I told him that they are in charge of keeping their bathroom clean. And have been for a while.

The first time I went in and saw pee on the toilet I started making THEM clean it up. I was so mad when they saw their daddy pee standing up. I had it easy for a little while. Once I convinced them to push it down..

I had asked Matt when I had him on the phone what he would have to do if it was here that he had done that. "clean the bathroom". I SOOOOO was invisioning him with a bucket and a toothbrush having to clean that bathroom at the school. I wanted him to have to.
BUT NO! The principal told me he couldnt do that. Instead he would give him 2 licks and 2 days in ISS.
Alright, BUT please tell him when he gets home he will be scrubbing BOTH bathrooms. He said he would pass it along. I appologized again, assured him we did have some bathroom etiquitte and got off the phone. Red faced and ashamed. But mostly spittin mad. I swear I could have bit a nail slap in two.

My mother in law worked late tonight, so I had to wait till almost 5 to get started on the cleaning. He walked in and never said a word.
of course Brett was MORE than willing to let me know about it.

I told Matt to start cleaning. BY hand. everywhere. he was to scrub it all, from the walls to the floor with a Mr Clean pad. He went at it with no whining. Oh he wanted to tell me his side.

How it was them playing, and he just turned around to look. And that THEY didnt get in trouble for playing in the bathroom.

Next thing I know he is running water in the tub, I went in there. it was full of water, he is standing in it in his underwear and scrubbing the walls. He wanted to know if he could just bathe while he was in there. I told him no. and to hurry. He had to do my bathroom too.

The other two went outside and with the quiet I started trying to get Bow to sleep. I had JUST about got it done and looked out the window. BRett had a 2 foot long stick and was throwing it strait up and trying to make it into the basketball goal, while standing UNDER it. Rayley had the Bow and Arrow set and was trying to master it. Since it is about the same size of her she couldnt manage it. so she just started chunking the arrow. She chunked it at the target, she chunked it at the trash can, the burn barrel, the patio furniture, then started chunking it at my truck.

Now, Dont go callin CPS. there is no tip on them. I was still trying to get the baby to sleep and so I quietly tried to get Matts attention, after about 3 minutes I got his attention. I told him to go and tell his brother, QUIETLY, to come here and quit chunking that stick up in the air above his head. And get his sister before I whooped her too. He walked 3 feet away from me, opened the door and SCREAMED at them to come here. They said NO. He started to argue, never telling them it was me that wanted them. WHen asked why, he would just say "cause".

Well of course this woke up Bow. All he had to do was take 2 more steps outside and pull the door behind him. Then he could have argued with them all day long. Instead he opted to anger them, wake up Bow and try my patience, all in one fell swoop.

I sent him back to cleaning and waited for Goober and Gomer to come in and ask me why I was making them come in. Bretts first words were "I wasnt gona poke my eye out"

AHA! so he KNEW the danger, he was just choosing to ignore it.
Rayley had the nerve to say "MOOOOM, I was tryin to kill a fly on your truck! I was playin Uncle Ted." (for those that dont know, uncle Ted is Ted Nugent, they watch his hunting shows)

WHen I got them two calmed down and started on something constuctive, I asked Matt if the licks hurt. YEP, he said... GOod, that means mine will hurt that much worse. BUT why was I going to do it if he already got some? It just seemed like the right thing to do.

One time I looked up and he was outside. In his underwear. I went to the door and asked what he was doing. HE was checking on his brother and sister, he had gotten worried about them.
BULL CRAP! He was sneaking out.

He got that room done and wanted a break. I told him NOPE, get started on mine. He went in there. I made him scrub the floor where my hairspray lands. That is some hard stuff to get up.

At 8 I let him stop to eat.
I was back in the living room and Brett was cleaning up a mess he had made on the table. I hear "DONT poke me in the eye with a knife!"
"I didnt poke you, I just got close!"
"Yes you did!, you were trying to poke me in the eye with that knife!"
Then Brett says "Dont panic mom, it was just a butter knife, and I really wasnt trying to poke him"
And Matt says "you just wait, I'll get one of my own!"
I stopped this, and started asking. Apparently Brett had picked a butter knife up off the floor where he dropped it, Matt was being nosey looking down and when Brett came up with it he came close to him. And Matt did admit it was the handle end that had hit him in the face. Brett was holding it right the whole time.

I told them this is why I dont let them have knives. I make them use plastic spatulas to spread mayo and such. Not that the handle of it wont poke your eye out either. I know this cause they pointed it out to me.


I told Matt to hurry and finish and to get back to work. I found things for him to scrub. He got finished and I was getting them ready for bed, I remembered I had to write checks for school pics, for both kids. AND I found a note in Matts bag where his class had made a book with their drawings. Oh joy. I had to buy that too. I didnt even go to town today and I spent 50 bucks.

Then I look at Matt and tell him, you have to wear nice clothes tomorrow, you have class pictures. And I see his hair. Talk about wooley.. I told him to go to my bathroom and I would cut his hair, he started to protest, then decided not to. This is actually the best behaved this child has been in a long time. He HATES for me to cut his hair. He is usually a wuss. squirming and squeeling and swearing I am takin off hide. This time he sat still, didnt try to bury his head in his chest and acted like he had some sense.

5 minutes later he had a high and tight and I had hair EVERYWHERE! He looked at me and said "your done?"
Yep
"why didnt it take as long as it usually does?"
cause you were still.
"OH!, thats why you always want me to be still."
That and its easier on me.

I made him get in the shower and I rinsed him off and made him wash his hair. I just poured the shampoo on it! I think the sand in there dulled my clippers. I know he took a shower last night, I watched him get in. But he had sand all over his head. Of course knowing this kid when he snuck out earlier he ran out and dove head first into the driveway.

He got out and asked me where the broom was, I asked why, he said cause I had messed up his clean floor and it needed to be swept.
WOW... Lesson learned?? it was that easy??

Brett came back with the broom and Matt walked past him and said "oh thanks Brett, I was going to go and get it for mom, but I guess I will just go on to bed now."

Dont worry, I didnt beat him with the broom, they dont make them like they used to and they break easy.

But the floor is hairless.
I opted not to cut Bretts hair tonight. His pics arent till Friday, so I will do it tommorow night. It was after 9:30 before I got them in bed, a full hour past their beditme.

OH and when I asked Matt how he liked ISS, he said " I dont" I asked why, he said and I quote "cause there's bad kids in there, and I dont like all those bad kids. Its the kids you avoid at school, cause you knwo they are going to get you in trouble just by standing beside them, Plus they aint got a a lick of sense. They do some of the stupidest things!"

I just smiled, patted him on the head and told him to think about that. Think long and hard about that statement.

He looked at me, with a perplexed look and said "what statement?"


SO for Matts future crush, love or sweetheart. I hope you enjoyed this, I do want you to know that I did house train my kids, and they CAN clean. I am training him just for you. And NO MATTER what he pee's on, breaks or screws up, I dont want him back. you just give him a Mr Clean magic Eraser, broom and some water, and tell him to clean it.

To Bretts future darling. I tried to keep him with both eyes, but the lack of brain got in the way.

And to the unfortunate guy who lands Rayley. Good Luck sweetie. You will need it and NO she is NOT moving back home. You asked for it.