A conversation with a Drama Queen.

Rayley came and got in my lap this evening
I cant make this stuff up..


"Mom,"
"what?"
"is Day-Day still in heaven?"
"Yes ma'am"
"How the hell did she get up there? to heaven I mean."
trying to hold back a giggle I said "God came and got her, then took her up there"
"bones and all?"
"no, he left her body, he just took her spirit and her love."
"well that would suck, you couldnt walk, or hug, or talk, or kiss the dogs"
"God gave her a new body when she got up there"
"ohhhhhh"
"When I grow up I am gona miss you"
"I'll miss you too, where you goin?"
"to alaska silly"
"ohhhhh for what?"
"to live there. so you cant make me clean my room no more"
"ohhhh... so who will clean your room and your house?"
"it wont be my kids.. I will never make them clean their rooms"
"hmmmmmm, can I get that in writing?"
"I sure wish I could live close to you"
"you can"
"me and my daughter. I will tell her about you though."
"really?"
"yep, tell her that your name is Chelle, and that you have blonde hair, and that your pretty"
"awww thank you"
"will you still be pretty tomorrow?"
"I dont know. why?"
"cause, everyone says I look like you and I want to be pretty tomorrow"
"ahhh"
"but I dont"
"dont what?"
"dont look like you"
"you reckon?"
"well, I aint got boobs yet, and my butt isnt that big"
"you will and it will be"
"did you look like me when you were 4?
"yes I did"
"was your hair like mine?"
"yes it was"
"its still like mine"
"yes, we both have blonde hair"
"how many are you?"
"shoot rayley, I dont know.. 33?"
"ahhhh, yep, thats what daddy said the other yesterday on your birthday"
"yep. I just turned 33"
"did it hurt?"
"did what hurt?"
"getting old"
"no, it went to quick to hurt"
"like a bandaide?"
"yep"
"but why are you so mean?"
"how am I mean?"
"you make us clean, and you make us mind"
"thats teaching you respect, and love and responsibility"
"and its showing us that you dont love us"
"of course I love you"
"but you really dont. I know you dont. You just say that"
"why would I say that? your my babies, I love all of y'all"
"thats not what I was told"
"by who?"
"its a secret, "
"you shouldnt keep secrets from me"
"thats what she said you would say, but its okay if me and her have them"
"you and who?"
"shhhhhhhhhh"
"okay, dont tell me your secrets, but tell me what y'all talk about"
"just how mean you are"
"she tells you this?"
"yep. and that you are so busy, and with all of us you ahve a hard time loving us all"
"but I dont. I love each adn every one of you"
"yeah.. but not like she does"
"she who?"
"silly mom, my other mom"
"you dont have another mom"
"well we pretend I do. and a grandmother is like a mom"
"no. a grandmother isnt like a mom, a grandmother is like an aunt. you mind them when you are with them, but you still go by my rules, and you still answer to me"
"not if its a pinkie promise"
"Rayley, one day we will get this straitend out, but, for now, I love you with all my heart. You are MY daughter and I dont hate you"
"I think I am gona name her after that woman with the strechy arms that saves baby Jack"
"who?"
"my daughter silly.."
"oh... what are you gona name her?"
"you know, allls... elll.. what ws her name?"
"Baby I dont know"
"it sounded like ALaska"
"ohhh elastia girl from the incredablies?"
"YEP! Thats it!"
"and a boy, I will name him Bowdrie"
"but we have a bowdrie"
"yep, and then my bowdrie and your bowdrie will be friends."
"but Bow will be grown before you have kids"
"oh.. then he can come and babysit"
"hmmmmmm, think that will work?"
"if you raise him better than you did them other two"
"HA"
"well its true. They are just plain awful"
"what about you?"
"I am pretty good"
"ya reckin?"
"I reckon"
"how old do I have to be before I am a boy?"
"you will never be a boy"
"you said I was"
"noooooo?"
"you said 'I am gona cut your hair plumb to your scalp like them dang boys if'n you dont quit cuttin it'"
"that wont turn you INTO a boy, that will just make you LOOK like a boy"
"ahhhh good."
"you dont wana be a silly ole boy?"
"nope. they cant sit down when they pee, and that just seems stupid, its shaped like a chair, may as well use it"
*snicker* "I agree"

Then she started playing iwth my hair. and mumbiling. Then I hear:

"when I grow up I am gona buy my boy a fence to put him in."
"like you would a dog?"
"no, like to play"
"ahhh okay."
"maybe I am gona have more than one boy"
"thats what I thought..."
"I think I want 14 boys, all running around my house. Yep I want 14."
"You dont even like your brothers, why would you want 14 boys running around your house?"
"well they would be good boys. Not like the kind you have"
"ahhhhh"

"and if they wanted like 2 snacks a day, I'd let them have them."

all the while she is playing with my hair.
and she got loud enough that she woke up Bow, who was sleeping on the end of the couch.
So he came crawling over. trying to squeeze under my arms.
She said
"Bow's done woke up, maybe you should get him back to sleep, so we can continue our inteligent conversation."
so out of my lap she went and got beside me, Bow laid down. And she started making all sorts of wierd noises. humming, talking, kicking and telling me what she ould do if she was in some movie.

This kid does not afford people many dull moments.

"so Rayley what ya gona name your kids?, All 14 boys?"
"hmmm.... I dont know... I am gona name them.... I dont know... can you fiqure it out?"
"no. who's gona be your husband"
"hmmm Marty, Alex, Austin Powers, ... "
"thats who you are gona marry?"
"noooo, thats the kids names..."
"so, who you gona marry?"
"I dont remember that guys name that you hate"
"why you gona marry someone I hate?"
"I dont know who I am gona marry, I just dont know no guys.. Just BR, and BRett, and Matt and Bowdrie--- And I dont liek my brothers enough to marry them..."

"Rayley you are just too much"
"can you scratch my back?"
"I guess, but the baby is almost asleep"
"well dont scratch him then, you'll wake him up"

"hey mom, can we pretend that I just woke up from a bednight and its cereal time?"
"nope"
"how come I see you sometimes in here after we all go to bed, and its dark, and you are eating cereal?"
"cause, I am so busy in the mornings that I dont get to eat it then, so I eat it late at night"
"ohhhh, maybe I should get busy in the mornings"
"sweetie, you aint gona get cereal expect for in the mornings."
"can I go to marmies?"
"why?"
"cause she doesnt make me go by your stupid rules, I dont have to clean, the boys do though, and I can eat cereal anytime I want, and she lvoes me."
"yep, sounds like it. it really sounds like it"

At this point BR called. and I was glad when she wanted to talk to him. Then she got down and ran off to play with her brothers. No wonder she thinks I hate her.